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Weather Report: with a high of 79 in [USER VILLAGE], it’s a lovely morning to sit outside of your locked place of employment writing Teratophilia fiction that only you and god will ever lay eyes on.

Irony is born from honesty.

Sometimes you’ve gotta accept the monsterfucker in the room, especially if that someone is you.

*trembling* wait the bowuigi thing is ironic right……its a joke,, right??

Paldean Tauros

Combat Breed | Fighting

Scarlet: This Pokémon has a muscular body and excels at close-quarters combat. It uses its short horns to strike the opponent’s weak spots. Violet: This kind of Tauros, known as the Combat Breed, is distinguished by its thick, powerful muscles and its fierce disposition.

Blaze Breed | Fighting/Fire

Scarlet: When heated by fire energy, its horns can get hotter than 1,800 degrees Fahrenheit. Those gored by them will suffer both wounds and burns. Violet: People call this kind of Tauros the Blaze Breed due to the hot air it snorts from its nostrils. Its three tails are intertwined.

Aqua Breed | Fighting/Water

Scarlet: This Pokémon blasts water from holes on the tips of its horns—the high-pressure jets pierce right through Tauros’s enemies. Violet: It swims by jetting water from its horns. The most notable characteristic of the Aqua Breed is its high body fat, which allows it to float easily.

Gen 9 Pokédex

Brawn, Brains, and Baby

He sure is something

Legend of Zelda Headcanon:

All of the monsters in Breath of the Wild had wildly different and varying colors before being taken over by malice. After the goo took them over, it sorted them based on strength, and assigned easily readable colors to each power level so that Ganon could tell what strength of troop he’s watching at a glance.

Bokoblins, Moblins, and Hinox had more earthy toned skin, with greens, browns, and grays mixed together to help them camouflage and hunt better than the Crayola Red and Blue colors do.

Lizals and Keese underwent very little change in their coloration, though they were made more vibrant by the malice to more easily distinguish between the types.

Wizzrobes probably didn’t exist before the calamity started, though if they did, they underwent almost no changes.

Lynels got it bad though. The colors in their manes and the variation in their horse halves were wildly variable, with the mane having almost no limits as to what you could see, and the horse half only really restricting to the types of patterns naturally appeared. The markings on Lynels in game, rather than being a naturally occurring thing in the species, is a twist the malice pulled with Lynel’s tattoos and markings of pride, turning them into standard and uniform scrawls while on free Lynels, no too had the same tattoos and each mark really meant something.

Does this raise canon problems?

Absolutely.

I will not change my mind.

may i share with you the best video on the internet

Heya! How is your mudscale doin'? Heard that he was getting in a bit of trouble and feeling alone lately!

(- @pokemonranch)

He’s doing well!

I’ve been spending the last few days giving him some TLC and making sure that he knows I love him. Stoutland’s been cuddling up with him at night too, since I asked him to help spend more time around the big lug.

He still likes collecting my neighbor’s free roaming Pokémon, but I need to have a talk with them about that… the Pokémon seem fine with Mudsdale grooming them and being protective, but they already have homes and some of the neighbors have gotten mad that I haven’t immediately brought them back, so I’m still on the hunt for a few permanent herd mates for him.

Head scratches with the Shishigumi?

The power I could wield if lions could purr ( older lions will let out a low moan or groan while bonding)

Ibuki

Unlike others in the shishigumi, he does not have a very special mane regime.

His mane has a natural soft curl and while it’s not the softest, it’s not horribly rough.

It's super nice to run your fingers through, and luckily, Ibuki loves it when you touch and brush his mane

If he’s feeling super needy, he’ll grab your hand and put it on his head. Do not think about removing it either.

He gives the cutest look to you; he has a small pout, eyes meeting yours almost begging you to not stop, and his head tilts and follows your hand.

Also loves chin scratches, he leans into your hand naturally when you do.

Free

While he does like head/mane scratches, he puts a lot of effort into his hair every morning so he’d appreciate it if you save it until the both of you are in bed ready to sleep.

No matter what you’re doing, if you are laying in bed and his hair is down for the day, I can guarantee you he’s gonna force you to scratch his hair.

He likes to lay his head on your lap and let you pet him

He likes cuddling with you on his chest so he’ll play with your fur/hair while you play with his chest fur

Dolph

Can and will fall asleep randomly if you scritch and scratch about anywhere on him

Scritching his mane? Asleep. Cuddling and scratching his back? Asleep. Watching a movie and scratching his arm or thigh? Asleep.

He denies that you petting him makes him tired but if it works in front of the rest of the shishigumi, it’s pretty hard for him to deny

(He loves it he’s just a hard ass)

(Y’all know when cats make muffins on blankets and stuff? That’s dolph)

Agata

Agata LOVES head scratches!

Free might drag your hand from whatever you’re doing but agata will pick you up and make you cuddle and scratch his head

His tail has a soft slow swing when you scratch and straightens out when you scratch in the right place.

Lays you on your back so he can rest his head on your tummy

Gets distracted and starts tracing little stars and hearts into your thighs or starts drumming his fingers on you

Agata Nuzzles and bumps his head into the crook of your neck or your shoulder if he wants your attention

Sabu

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT touch his hair if it’s up in the mohawk

He wakes up early to do it and he WILL get pissed if you mess it up. (He makes you sleep with a pillow between you and him)

He much prefers playing messing with your hair/fur

In fact he loves it so much, he’ll drag you to bed and he will make you lay on top of him

Don’t get up, he pouts

Hino

Even if you mess with his hair, it always looks so effortlessly good

Which is good cause he loves head scratches

Doesn’t ask you for them but if your in bed and you start he’ll be very happy

Likes to reciprocate the scratches with some of his own so he’ll scratch your back while you scratch his mane

He brags about it. “What happened to my mane? Oh well my beloved plays with my hair, it’s so nice!”

(Free gets so pissed off when he brags)

Dope

You don’t know when you started playing with Dope’s mane.

You think it happened one day when you were both off of work just laying in bed chatting, then somehow Dope’s heads on your chest and your hand is in his mane

Yes, dope’s negotiations and convincing skills come in handy when he wants certain affections

He just scoots closer and closer slowly so you don’t realize until he’s basically on top of you

Then he holds your hand and slowly brings it to his head, then let’s go and expects you to get the memo

You tell him he can just ask but he just likes being sneaking

Miguel

Well I mean… you can’t really play with his mane cause of the braids

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like scratches

Things in place of his mane (that he WILL encourage you to scratch): his chin, the back of his neck, his back, his biceps, his sides, anywhere where you can get your hands on him

Istg this man loves getting affection

He likes when y’all hug and you start scratching. (Careful, he might fall asleep and you might get stuck in his arms)

Jinma

This guy,,, is a little twerp about it

He loves scratches just about everywhere but he likes to lie about it

He gets all pouty when you start but three minutes in he’s holding you in place making sure that you don’t stop

AND YET HE WILL STILL DENY THAT HE ENJOYS IT

He just likes to see you get all fussy when he Denys it.

He starts scratching you back offhandedly when he zones out

Don’t point it out cause he will stop (he’s a little shithead about it lol)

Sorry this took so long (I’m lazy) but I hope these are good!

How does one reasonably give a character a spiked collar with one of the world’s ugliest suits for a set of gimmick bust shots?

when something cool happens but you cant say anything to anyone so youre just