"meowdy~"

You flinch back slightly as the sparkling wand with frilly pink ribbons around the base of its head knocks on the top of your noggin, the girl’s voice rather puffy and annoyed in a cute way rather than her usual cheery tone.

“What the hell are you doing?” You ask, your inky black tendrils of darkness slowly reconvening around you after having been blown off by blasts of rainbows and sunshine in the battle that ended moments before. “You’re supposed to lock me up, or kill me, or something! The least you could do is brainwash me with some kind of friendship laser to make me want to stop rather than leaving me to work through this while still wanting to burn down cities and slaughter the innocent!”

The girl’s cheeks puff out slightly as her stuffed animal companion, a patchwork lynx, trots over and curls around her chosen magical-mistress. “Well, I wouldn’t have to blast you with so much magic if you could breathe and stop doing bad things! Miss Claws and I will be keeping an eye on you!” The threat shouldn’t have carried any weight, coming from a girl who is easily half of your height and less than a quarter your age, but with how well she fought just a few moments ago, you can’t help but fear what could happen next.

You recoil further, standing to your full height and moving back from the magical girl. Sleek black robes with gold trim materialize over your fitted obsidian-colored armor as you speak. “Fine then, girl… I’ll try to behave.”

The girl gives you a smile before nodding and jogging away without another word. This child can’t be normal… Her face holds a smile, and here eyes still hold a sky-blue shimmer as she moves swiftly away from a rubble strewn street, car alarms blaring and street lamps shredded to bits by your shadow tendrils.

The girl’s Lynx, Miss Claws (How such a powerful magical artifact can stand being referred to in such an idiotic way is beyond you), watches you carefully for a moment before speaking calmly. “You know, that kid will kick your ass any day of the week. Keep your nose clean, and save everyone the trouble of scraping your unconscious body off the ground, alright sweet cheeks?”

You’re a supervillain, and you have never been so utterly beaten. All of your tricks, all of your weapons, completely outdone by a prepubescent girl and a stuffed animal. You’re bracing for the finishing blow when she bops you over the head with her wand. “Don’t do any more bad stuff! …Okay?”

That Bewear sounds like an interesting fella!

My most interesting training stories are my Stoutland partner and one of the Tauros brothers, specifically Sweetie.

Stoutland took a bit to get used to being handled in any way other than a lapdog, but once I got him into the idea of helping herd the Doduo, he took to letting me ride pretty quick.

Sweetie took a lot of work, since he seems to have had a bit of trauma before joining my ranch. He’s still a bit skittish around new folks, but if you give him scratches under his chin, he’ll just melt into your hands and be easier to handle than anything else.

Howdy!

Never have I ever trained a riding Pokémon.

If you’ve got a story to tell, I’ll tell mine after!

Oh I've trained a few! Tauros, Stoutland, Cyclizar, Farigiraf, one oddly enthusiastic Bewear..... Honestly, I couldn't give you the full count! :D

don't worry mario, once you get to know him he's actually just a big pspspussy

Hate that bitch.

Fucker threatened my life, called me a little bitch, then got swept by my starter that was five levels lower than his ace.

ily grusha please go get some therapy

My Mudsdale isn’t allowed to just wander around the neighborhood freely. Most of his attempts to take other Pokémon are when they wander onto our property, or when we’re riding out for a walk.

I received Mudsdale from a family member who bought him a few months after I fully dedicated to running a ranch, which is when I started breeding Doduo. He was already a 7 year old Mudsdale at that point, and as far as I checked with the local Pokémon Center and research sources, his general behavior wasn’t too far out of the norm…

As far as I know, he was bred for competitive battling but had an injury early enough in life to skew training to be too troubling, so the original owners sold him to a suburban family who kept him alone… beyond that, I just know my aunt bought him from a different rehoming situation and then passed him off to me.

I through the socialization with the Doduo, Dodrio, and a few other Pokémon I’ve acquired would be enough to help balance out his herd nature, but he just started trying to corral Pokémon on walks or that the neighbors let wander around about a month ago.

My main partner (Mudsdale, M10) has been trying to kidnap the other Pokémon he sees around the neighborhood, and I’ve had to return half of them because they’re already owned and just being adopted by my giant mud horse.

I think he’s trying to start his own herd/family, but he was raised by himself, and I’ve only had other Pokémon for about two or three years, so I think it’s just instinct kicking in…

Got any Mudbray or other equine Pokémon that he could buddy up with? I’ve got space enough…

i'm trying to interpret this correctly, but...is your mudsdale just. allowed to wander around other people's properties? i'm surprised your neighbors haven't called the rangers on you yet. it's your responsibility to keep your pokemon contained on your property. even if your neighbors are doing the same, it's highly irresponsible to just let your pokemon wander, especially one as large and powerful as a mudsdale.

it's also concerning that your mudsdale has been alone most of its life. these are herding animals that need company. i'm glad you have other pokemon now, but that is a serious welfare concern.

we do currently have a mudbray up for adoption, but until you address the containment of your mudsdale, we cannot adopt out to you.

The inspiration train hit me.

Therefore, I present a pair of boi’s.

Could I do better?

Absolutely.

Will I finish the “Shishigumi in hideous suits that I found in a mall” collection?

Depends how much of my time I spend doing trigonometry and hanging out with 80 year-olds who think that I’m a perfectly straight and good child…

Probably eventually, even if I’m stuck with folks.

Supergiant Games dropping the Hades 2 reveal trailer

Luigi: I have anxiety

Mario: I also have anxiety

...

The Mushroom Kingdom: you're the heroes of prophecy!

Bowser: I want those twinks obliterated

Princess Peach: your our only hope!

The environment: *hostile AF*

...

Mario: I'm gonna suppress the fuck out of my anxiety and new found trauma to protect the kingdom and get the girl.

Luigi: I have more anxiety. AND am completely traumatized but hey! *Nervous laughter* at least I didn't fall in love with the enemy! that would have been suuuper awkward am I right?

Bowser: *on a date with Luigi*

Absolutely Greenie, wanna cuddle later?

Luigi: FUCK YEAH I DO!

Akechi: It’s not like that…

Sojiro: Then why does he call you babygirl?

in a rush

He is not inmune to big-cute-goofy-ass goat men 😦