I Appreciate This Addition From @raincitygirl76 So Much - Yes, There Were Many Many Things About S3E6

I appreciate this addition from @raincitygirl76 so much - yes, there were many many things about S3E6 that felt majorly dissatisfying to me. Actually for me, the primary thing was a simple matter of timing: I don't understand how 1.5 minutes (2 minutes if you're being generous) of happy reunion is somehow supposed to magically fully counterbalance 3 seasons of anguish & trauma that Wilmon have been through? (Both with each other & with everything else in life). Like weighing 17-18 hours of pain against 2 minutes is... not sufficient for me??? Like, that doesn't achieve the goal of either intellectually making this make sense, or feeling emotionally true (or sufficient to just, as a viewer, not feel desperately broken anymore).

That's not to say that the Crown wasn't a major contributing factor, and that going more "low-contact" with the establishment won't help, but... yeah.

I remain very disappointed about:

a) Wille apparently not being in individual therapy anymore? Because I guess making a major coming-out speech on national TV proves to your mom that she can't use therapy to control you, so... why keep giving you access to therapy (since it wasn't intended as a form of emotional support). Maybe the queen even blamed therapy partially; I don't know. But I know all of the viewers can agree that Wille OBVIOUSLY still needs epic amounts of therapy. And it was starting to work, too! Which makes this even more disheartening.

b) Simon didn't go to therapy, that we're aware of. I had really hoped in S3, Wille would use his positive experiences with Boris to encourage Simon to look at his stuff as well.

c) Wille & Simon never discussing Micke, that we know of. Despite the fact that Wille is aware that Micke takes LOTS of medications -- enough for Simon to steal and sell.

d) Wille & Simon also never properly discussing anything about mental health... at all. Even though it impacts the two of them as individuals + as a couple SO MUCH. It is the giant giant giant elephant in the room. It really should be un-ignorable. Simon makes it clear he knows SOMETHING is up by suggesting a queer and/or mental health charity for Wille to spearhead, and with the whole "I've seen how the monarchy makes you feel like." But... that's it.

e) and still, Wille never actually comforts Simon. He asks him about Sara once. He apologizes a bunch of times. And he does hug him and (finally) get the Royal Court involved after the rock-in-window incident at Simon's home.

f) it never feeling (to me) like this really WAS a season of Wille & Simon learning to team up together to be "us against the world / against the Royal Court." That's realistic to many couples, sure. Especially after all the heartache they went through in Seasons 1 & 2 to get to this point. Well, I suppose this is more of a Wille problem, really. But still. Left me feeling discouraged.

DO they have the skills yet to be a proper, healthy couple? Hopefully they'll seek those out and work on themselves as individuals so they can get there. At the very least, Wille did start Episode 6 by saying he needs to take more responsibility for his life, so that is something.

I already wrote this on Twitter and Reddit, but I like what I wrote, so I’m posting it here too. Meh. So sue me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After sitting with Young Royals S3 for a few days, I have a new main takeaway, after letting myself feel the initial rage & grief & hurt & disappointment.

New takeaways:

While Seasons 1 & 2 were primarily a love story, S3 is a very serious, thoughtful, and important meditation on trauma + the impacts of abuse & neglect on kids.

I hate almost every single adult in the YR universe. They emotionally abandoned these kids in general life + during moments of severe crisis & trauma, both past & present. They set these kids up to fail. And when those children did inevitably fail, the adult washed their hands clean of responsibility and pinned the blame solely on the kids.

Very few of these children have any coping skills or communication skills at all. Even the ones who WANT to show up for each other properly, and who don’t want to hurt each other (one example being Wille), end up hurting others anyway because they’ve never learned any other ways of interacting.

Here's a "brief" list of some of the traumas (that we know about) these kids having endured:

Revenge CP sex tape

Online & in-person harassment (esp. Simon)

Homophobic hazings to terrorize & demean them

Violence (related to #3 above)

Grief & loss, including death (but not limited to death -- see #s 8 & 10)

Familial betrayal

Familial substance abuse & possible DV (related to #6)

CONSTANT invalidation, dismissal, minimization, & victim-blaming (esp. with the Royal Family)

Emotional neglect & abandonment (closely related to point #8)

Even being on the receiving end of outright contempt & disdain from one's own family

Control & surveillance from the Royal Court

It's no fucking wonder these children are so messed up & don't know how to navigate life.

Of course, they're still responsible for their actions. Accountability remains extremely still important. (Which is where introspection, taking corrective action, & pursuing repair come into play.) I'm in no way arguing that this excuses anything. *And* simultaneously, the adults in their lives have failed them so badly -- leading us to arrive here, at S3.

It reminds me of one of my favorite adages that I use in my mental health line of work all the time: "It's not our fault what happens to us. But it is our responsibility what we do next."

Realistically, I don't know how kids are supposed to manage this on their own. Being wounded so much, surrounded & overwhelmed by so many pressures, with very close to ZERO adult supervision, support, or help. It just wounds my soul to see the impact it's having on them.

I'm thinking about all of this in the context of many characters... but in particular (obviously) Wilhelm & Simon. And truthfully, especially for Wille, because I had such a hard time empathizing with him this season. I felt so deeply hurt by his obliviousness to Simon's pain, as well as both offended by and disappointed in his "all queers" comment and dismissing the opportunity to value Simon's politics or opinions on how he could use his position as Crown Prince to do good in the world. I was angry with the writers, too: like, how dare they? I wanted Wille to show up as a more evolved version of himself. I wanted his besotted-ness to translate into being a "better" person.

But, then I got to thinking... like, how in fact would he know to do that? Wille isn't trying to be cruel. In fact, I think he is in all actuality trying his hardest with the tiny amount of social skills he has to demonstrate the care he feels. (That does NOT excuse his actions, of course. I mean, poisoned cake, anyone??).

However, he is a child who is EXTREMELY overwhelmed and wracked with guilt... and no way to realistically handle this. He has ZERO parental or even adult support (the best he's got is Farima; he doesn't even appear to have individual sessions with Boris anymore). There are exactly zero adults helping him to navigate this. I actually don't know how a child should or could know how to do better with all this pressure, especially because it all comes back to decisions he's made (to not conform to family+royal pressure, to come out, to publicly challenge traditions, etc.). The overwhelmingness of it must be enormous.

Compounded with that, no adult in his life has ever modeled to him how to properly talk to another human being about emotions. When he had emotions, he was minimized, dismissed, shut down, ignored. He has zero idea of how else to handle it, even if he wanted to handle it differently. Where & when would he have learned these skills? So, of course when Simon brings up his online harassment, he really doesn't know what else to do besides sigh and say "ignore it." I don't think he's actively trying to minimize. I think he has absolutely no other language that he's aware of to use. He just has no skills, support, or role modeling when it comes to this. He's in WAAAAAAAAY way over his head and never previously learned how to swim. I do really think Wille is trying his absolute best. (Which is not good enough, and he does need to learn to do better -- not an excuse, just a building up of context.)

In an ideal world, someone at this point would hand him a book on Reflective Listening skills so he could learn to validate, normalize, and properly attune to emotions. I think he probably wants to -- I see how concerned his expression is every time he looks at Simon after the window-rock incident, and after they overhear their classmates mocking Simon's revolution love song. He probably feels totally helpless, confused, disoriented, & self-critical in his process of trying to figure out on his own how to listen to & validate other (I mean, he literally does say his attempts are always "clumsy.").

I imagine his internal shame at being terrible at attunement & communication must be immense. He makes it clear that he's aware he's terrible at all of this, but doesn't seem to know what to do about it. (And again, there are NO adults to help him figure this out! Except for maybe Boris's meditation sessions...?) I wish someone would hand him the Nonviolent Communication skills book & workbook. He'd probably be able to heave a big sigh of relief, knowing how to talk to & be there for the people he loves. He'd probably feel more empowered, too, as a result, and therefore less anxious. Win-win-win.

In summary: I just feel so freaking heartbroken for Simon, Wille, & a lot of the other kids, too. They are CHILDREN. Adults are supposed to be role modeling for them, guiding them, helping them cope & navigate the pressures of life. INSTEAD, they just heap on *more* trauma.

So... yeah. I think it's intriguing that the writers chose to shift to make Season 3 a meditation on trauma and its consequences. And now that I'm reframing the season through that lens in my mind, I'm able to sit with the content more easily and understand it better.

I really really wish everyone would get SHITTONS OF THERAPY in the YR universe (and also in real life, ha). Even better: go back in time and put all the adults in therapy, so their kids don't have to emotionally handle + figure out everything on their own! It's really not the kids' fault that they wound up with no skills or tools, and just confusedly trying to fumble their way through things in the dark. My heart really breaks for a lot of these kiddos, just trying their best.