Fernando Pessoa, The Book Of Disquiet

—it's a very terrible realisation that whatever i do now will be affecting whatever i'll be in the future

Reblog this if you're the eldest daughter who had to mature at a really young age, were always seen as the 'quiet and unproblematic' one, were the overachiever of the family, were the so-called 'perfect child', so now you're literally terrified of doing anything wrong because you don't want to ruin your reputation and whenever you try to tell anyone about your fears or insecurities they just brush it off like "lol why would you think that you're worrying for no reason"

My current state of mind

Being the “eldest daughter” is nauseating and I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone

me looking at the person i like: i am enamored even with the way your fingers move, with the way the light plays on your skin, with your freckles and your smile and your laughter, with your voice, with how you get around the things you love, with your humor,  me aloud: what’s up asshole

Making the people you adore laugh is literally everything

you’re in his dms, the thought of me haunts him to death

“The problem with knowledge, is its inexhaustible craving. the more of it you have, the less you feel you know.”

- Olivie Blake , the atlas six

My problem is that I want to be adored like a goddess by one person and be treated as a shadow by every single soul at the same time

okay time to sit in the dark like a creature or else my brain will explode