Rhodora - Mud Season!

how do I get people to believe something's wrong

It's time!

Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.

It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.

You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.

You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.

You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence

You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.

You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.

You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.

You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.

Tldr:

Faking is a conscious choice.

You cannot do it by accident.

If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.

October

by Mary Oliver

I. There’s this shape, black as the entrance to a cave. A longing wells up in its throat like a blossom as it breathes slowly.

What does the world mean to you if you can’t trust it to go on shining when you’re

not there? and there’s a tree, long-fallen; once the bees flew to it, like a procession of messengers, and filled it with honey.

II. I said to the chickadee, singing his heart out in the green pine tree:

little dazzler, little song, little mouthful.

III. The shape climbs up out of the curled grass. It grunts into view. There is no measure for the confidence at the bottom of its eyes– there is no telling the suppleness of its shoulders as it turns and yawns.

Near the fallen tree something–a leaf snapped loose from the branch and fluttering down–tries to pull me into its trap of attention.

IV. It pulls me into its trap of attention,

And when I turn again, the bear is gone.

V. Look, hasn’t my body already felt like the body of a flower?

VI. Look, I want to love this world as thought it’s the last chance I’m ever going to get to be alive and know it.

VII. Sometimes in late summer I won’t touch anything, not the flowers, not the blackberries brimming in the thickets; I won’t drink from the pond; I won’t name the birds or the trees; I won’t whisper my own name. One morning the fox came down the hill, glittering and confident, and didn’t see me–and I thought:

so this is the world. I’m not in it. It is beautiful.

reasons.

The Ancient Kiss ✨

We’re all different. Especially him. But there’s something kind of fantastic about that, isn’t there?

FANTASTIC MR. FOX 2009 | Wes Anderson

Some thoughts I had talking myself out of getting an ADHD diagnosis:

“They’ll laugh at me & tell me I’m just lazy”

“I’ll probably just exaggerate and make them think I have ADHD”

“I just wasn’t trying hard enough”

“Others have it much worse, I’m just looking for an easy way out”

“I can manage if I really try (and am constantly burnt out)”

“I’m not hyperactive (shakes leg, chewing gum and can’t stop playing with earrings)”

“I just have to keep trying and I can become normal one day”

“I can focus sometimes, so clearly I’m just not trying all the time”

You don’t have to tolerate barely *surviving* life. You also deserve help so life isn’t that hard all the time

posting on a blackboard discussion board and replying to two of your fellow students has to be one of the nine circles of hell

but my animatic is at 50 frames now so maybe i won after all