Too Cool For Me

bartolomeo x strawhat!reader

he worships every strawhat… except for you

a/n: I didn't mean to post this today but it's too late now... ugh dumb me

words count: 1.3k

tags: misunderstandings, idiots in love, romance, comedy

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆ .:・☆°

The first time Bartolomeo meets the Straw Hat crew in person, it’s everything he ever dreamed of.

“Straw Hat-senpaiiiiii!!!” He falls to his knees, tears streaming, hands clasped in pure, unfiltered reverence “I-I’m not worthy to stand in your presence!!”

Luffy laughs, delighted by the over thetop reaction “You’re funny, Barto! Let’s go eat!”

Bartolomeo practically ascends to another plane of existence.

One by one, he fawns over each of your crewmates “Zoro-senpai! Your badassery knows no bounds!!” “Nami-senpai! A goddess of the sea itself!!” “Usopp-senpai, your legendary tales are the stuff of history!!” Even Brook gets a full five-minute monologue about his status as a rock star and a living legend.

And then he gets to you.

Or rather... he doesn’t.

Bartolomeo barely spares you a glance. No tears, no fangirling, not even a comment. Just a stiff nod before turning back to Franky and screaming about how “SUPER” he is.

At first, you think nothing of it. Maybe he doesn’t know as much about you. Not everyone gets the spotlight in every newspaper. But as time passes and Bartolomeo keeps ignoring you, doubt creeps in.

You watch how he interacts with the others, clinging to Luffy like he’s the second coming of the Pirate King (which, fair okay), showering Sanji in praise for his “divine cooking”, even giving Chopper one of those ridiculous “senpai” speeches. But when it comes to you? It’s like you barely exist.

“Hey, Barto” you try to start a conversation one evening. He flinches like you just threw a punch “How long have you had your Devil Fruit?”

“Huh?” He blinks at you, then shrugs, suddenly aloof “Dunno. Long time.”

“…Right.” You shift awkwardly “I ate mine when I was a kid. The—”

“Ah, crap, gotta go! Luffy-senpai might need a drink!” and he bolts before you can say another word.

Your Devil Fruit ability, one that allows you to manipulate gravity in a small radius, suddenly feels useless. Not cool enough. Not impressive enough. You’re not impressive enough.

Days pass, and it only gets worse. Bartolomeo is the loudest person on the ship, yet somehow, he speaks the least around you. He acts like you’re just… there. The way he hypes up the others makes it glaringly obvious that he doesn’t think you’re at their level. Maybe he doesn’t even think you deserve to be a Strawhat.

“Yo” Zoro drops next to you while you sit at the edge of the Sunny, staring at the ocean “You’re sulking.”

You snort “I don’t sulk.”

He gives you a look.

You sigh “It’s Bartolomeo. He never talks to me. Barely looks at me. It’s like I don’t measure up to the rest of you.”

Zoro raises a brow “You actually care what that guy thinks?”

“No!” You pause “…Maybe. It’s just weird. Like, I know I’m not as legendary as you guys, but I thought I at least mattered, just a little bit. Now I’m not so sure...”

“Tch.” Zoro leans back, arms crossed “You’re an idiot.”

“Wow, thanks.”

He jerks his chin toward the other side of the ship. You follow his gaze and freeze.

Bartolomeo is watching you.

Not just watching.... he's actually staring. Jaw clenched, fingers digging into his arms, looking like he’s barely holding himself together. The second your eyes meet, he panics and whirls away, nearly tripping over himself as he rushes below deck.

Zoro smirks “Idiot.”

Realization crashes over you.

Bartolomeo doesn’t ignore you because he thinks you’re uncool.

He ignores you because he thinks you’re too cool. And now, you have a plan.

The next morning, you corner Bartolomeo before he can escape “Oi” you step into his path, crossing your arms “Are you avoiding me?”

“N-no! What? Pfft, no way!” His voice jumps an octave, and he won’t meet your gaze.

You smirk “Really? ‘Cause it kinda seems like you are.”

“I... I just...” He grits his teeth, then groans, dragging his hands through his hair “Ugh! Fine! I am avoiding you!”

You tilt your head “Why?”

Bartolomeo groans again, this time slumping dramatically against the mast like you’re physically torturing him “Because you’re—so—damn—cool!!” He throws his hands in the air “Like, I saw you in the papers and thought, ‘Damn, this one’s gonna be strong.’ But then I met you and you’re not just strong, you’re awesome! The way you fight, the way you talk, your Devil Fruit—it’s all so—gah!!” He grips his head “And I... I get nervous! I don’t get nervous! But around you, I feel like a dumbass, and I don’t wanna say something stupid and make you think I’m lame!”

Silence.

Then you laugh.

Bartolomeo’s face turns bright red “Oi! What’s so funny?!”

“You! You’ve been acting like I’m nothing special this whole time because you’re nervous?” You grin “Dude, I thought you hated me.”

His eyes go wide “What?! NO! Never!! You’re...” He grabs your shoulders, shaking you slightly “You’re amazing! I could never hate you! I’m just a dumbass who doesn’t know how to act around someone that cool!!”

You blink “Wow. That’s… actually really sweet.”

Bartolomeo freezes, realization hitting him like a truck. He just admitted all of that out loud. To you.

He promptly screams, lets go of you, and sprints away at full speed.

You watch him go, shaking your head “Idiot.”

But this time, you’re smiling.

Bartolomeo avoids you even harder after his accidental confession, but this time, it’s not because he doesn’t know how to act, instead it’s because he’s utterly convinced there’s no way you could ever return his feelings. To him, you’re like an untouchable star, way out of his league. Just being near you makes his heart feel like it’s about to explode.

And you? You’re getting really tired of this his nonsense.

The entire crew notices. Luffy, as oblivious as ever, just assumes Bartolomeo is naturally weird. Sanji is too busy trying to flirt with Nami and Robin to care. But Zoro? Zoro is actively annoyed.

“For fuck’s sake,” he grumbles one night, sitting next to you while Bartolomeo pretends to be fascinated by a wall on the other side of the ship “Are you seriously just gonna let him keep running?”

You scowl “Of course not.”

“Good. Because it's annoying to watch.”

It takes another day before you get him alone. You corner him in the storage room, blocking the only exit with a casual lean against the doorframe “Alright, enough of this.”

Bartolomeo stiffens like he’s been caught committing a crime “E-enough of what? Haha! I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“You’re avoiding me again.”

“I’m n-not—”

You step closer. He steps back. His face is redder than ever “Barto.”

His breath hitches “Y-yeah?”

You smirk “For someone who thinks I’m so cool, you sure keep running away from me.”

His brain short-circuits “I—uh—I—”

“Why?”

He looks away, gripping his jacket like it’s the only thing keeping him standing “Because someone like you… you could never…” he swallows hard “You deserve someone better.”

Your expression softens “That’s what you think?”

He nods “Yeah. Like Zoro-senpai... he—he takes good care of you.”

You sigh, then grab his hand. He jolts like you just shocked him with a lightning bolt.

“Barto, you dumbass,” you say fondly “If I didn’t like you back, I wouldn’t even be standing here.”

His jaw drops. He blinks once. Twice.

Then... “EH?!?!”

You grin “Took you long enough.”

Bartolomeo malfunctions entirely. His knees wobble, his face somehow gets redder, and he looks two seconds away from passing out “B-but—but I—I—”

You roll your eyes before pulling him down by the collar and pressing a kiss to his lips.

For one terrifying second, you think he actually did pass out. But then his hands snap up, gripping your waist like he’s afraid you’ll vanish. The kiss is messy, desperate, and so incredibly Bartolomeo that you can’t help but smile against his lips.

When you finally pull back, his eyes are wide with disbelief “Holy shit.”

You chuckle “Well, yeah.”

Then he promptly screams, lifting you into the air and spinning you around in sheer joy “I’M THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE!!!”

Somewhere outside, you hear Zoro groan, “Finally.”

Bartolomeo ignores him, holding you close like you’re the greatest treasure he’s ever found. And to him? You absolutely are.

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Nobody here can judge me, I haven’t written a fic in a very long time!!! Now- this is very self indulgent but AFAB character and so my best to refer to them as GN but depends on the day with me.

When you said you needed time to cool off- that meant more then five minutes into the feeling of hot water rising up to your thighs

It had been one hell of a day, the students were finally processing the concept for your class but they were at the age where they were little fuckin assholes, thinkin sarcastic comments were more important then their education. You shook your head with a small sigh rubbing your eyes as they traced across the bathroom as you stepped forward setting up a towel to hang for when eventually you’d have the clamber out of the warm embrace of the bathtub, a candle lit in the corner incase it tips over so no fires can start or at least spread very far.

Before you really thought about you were stripping out of your clothes and letting your hands move up to your hair and pushed some of it back, taking a deep breath as you carefully stepped into the tub as it was barely 2 inches full. Letting your body relax into the warmth and melt, calling out to your phone to play a random playlist on your phone but of course it didn’t hear you as you clambered out and got it to play yourself as you head the music start and got back into the tub and sat down as it filled.

*Play that Funky Music by Wild Cherry*

Started to play and bounce around the bathroom, throwing in a little bit of bubble bath as you let your arms dip into the hot water. Your skin felt like it was warm enough to get all the dirt off you from the day you had, taking a deep breath before letting your shoulders dip into the water. All the tension you held in them relaxing even for just a moment was enough for you, after about 15 minutes of the water running you flipped it off and relished in the warmth.

Eyes closed as you moved to let your entire body go under the water to get your hair wet and came back up wiping the bubbles and water from your eyes, reaching for your shampoo before you stopped as your one hand moved. As you let your hand trail from your chest to your pelvic bone- your fingers carefully slipping between your legs with a small hum letting your head fall back against the linoleum as on of your fingers pushed into your entrance, as you used your thumb to put pressure down on clit. A solid five minutes of you getting all hot and bothered but something just felt off- now was the time you let your eyes flicker to the bath faucet, it had been quite some time since you had tried it this way.

Carefully moving you flick at the lever to let some water drain out, now was the part where you had to awkwardly shift your body down so your hips were angled up towards the faucet as the warm water ran down and through your folds with a soft feeling. Adjusting your body as one leg moved up the wall straight and the other moving to press up against the ledge of one of the many in the shower.

Foot pressed flat against it as you focus on the feeling and pressed your hips up further to feel more of the water flow against your clit just soft enough to make you gasp, hands moving to press against the walls of the tub as your head was halfway under the water only covering your ears so you couldn’t heave anything then the muffled music playing. You seemed to lose your focus as you tried to figure out what song was playing

*Seize the Power by YONAKA*

You gasp as you felt the perfect pressure against your clit as a soft moan fell from your lips as you readjusted your hips to get the same feeling, you didn’t have much of a chance to process what was happening as you felt pleasure run through you in a flash. Just close enough as your eyes opened and you were looking at Logan who seemed to just smirk down at you.

Screaming you pushed your legs against the wall to get away from his view point, as you covered your body as you got ahold of the shower curtain trying to force it shut as it caught on the metal rod “Don’t stop on my account.” He chuckled softly as your face burned with anger “Do you get off on not letting people finish or some shit?! Get out of my bathroom.”

You quickly stand up shaking the extra water from your legs and step out of the tub to grab your towel as you dried your hair then your body as you wrap it around yourself and glare at Logan “What are you in here for? The door was fucking closed- did you not hear water running and assume I was taking a bath or shower?”

Logan watched as you dried yourself off and hummed “Well I heard something loud like a scream that came from here, heard loud music and came to check it out, found you- pleasuring yourself with.. that and well, realized the scream was from the song playing. Decided to stay for the show.” He moved to lean against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest “Didn’t mean to embarrass you darlin.”

There it was- those stupid fuckin nicknames, got fuckin damn it. You quickly moved to walk out of the bathroom as you snatched up your phone as

*stricken by disturbed* played from the speaker and Logan grabbed your forearm “didn’t mean to embarrass me?? Are you kidding- you watched me in the bathtub like a pepping tom!” You shoved him as he put his hands up “Look- all I’m saying is.. you need to relive some stress right? Lemme make up for it.” You turned to look at him your eyes full of anger and annoyance, you hated him- anger fueled your body but you were aching for release- you pulled away from him quickly “Think I’m that easy? Caught me in a compromising position and now you’re trying to fuck me? Yeah good fuckin luck with that.” As you moved to drop you towel and walked to your dresser pulling on a baggy shirt that seemed to be a random black shirt with a county park name.

You turned to face him arms crossing your chest as you look at him, Logan hummed as he watched you, his eyes trailing from your feet all the way up to your back as he stepped closer to you as you dressed and moved a hand to carefully grip your chin in his hold “Easy? No never said that, I ruined a decent looking orgasm. Most I can do, is get you off and leave ya alone. Don’t need all that pent up anger and frustration the next few weeks.” His hand moved to rest on your hip as he pressed his body closer his chest against yours “Think about it.”

As he moved to step back you grabbed his wrist taking a deep breath as you did so “Don’t think, this is gonna prove anything unless you can actually make me cum, and I wanted an apology.” You looked at him your eyes meeting his hardened hazel ones. Logan chuckled and moved his hand to squeeze your hip “I’m sorry, for ruining your orgasm. Let me make it up for you Princess?”

You felt that warmth on your face flood all over your body and moved to nod “Go on, make up for it then before I change my mind .” Before you even got a second thought he grabbed you and pinned you to the wall, his lips pressed against yours and slowly moved from their to your jawline to your neck as his hands moved to explore, his fingers moving across the expanse of your stomach as he went towards your cunt.

His fingers moving slowly and ghosting between the folds in front of him “Gonna make you feel better than that old thing could.” He let his forefinger press to your clit and your head fell back against the wall with a thunk. Logan smiled as he carefully pressed a finger against your entrance “Hmm..” he growled softly as he carefully moved down your body his freehand grabbing and playing with your chest.

Carefully he moved onto his knees in front of you- a sight you don’t think you ever be able to unseen as a soft noise pushed from the back of your throat “Fuck..” was all you could utter as he moved forward to press the shirt up and his lips pressed to your inner thighs, moving slowly closer and closer as his tongue moved against the front of your cunt. Not much longer he grabbed the back of your legs and forced your cunt onto his mouth, his jaw working as he pressed his tongue between your folds and ghosted over your clit.

The sudden presence of a finger being pushed inside of you wasn’t what you expected as your body moved to press down against his mouth, his teeth grazing over your lips and folds. The feeling of your body working itself back up made you cry out a very soft “Lo-gan..” as he started to pump his fingers and moved to playfully press his tongue flat to your clit as he thrusted into you. Your body went into pilot mode and you were riding him fingers as your body seemed to shake and your thighs twitched at each sudden feeling of his finger pulling out and his tongue going in their place, Logan moved quick as he turned you and forced you to walk backward to your bed as your knees hit the edge and forced you to sit down as he grabbed around your waist and forced your cunt closer to his mouth as he went to town.

Logan knew how to make people tick, but he hadn’t found yours quite yet as he pulled away from your cunt as your juice showed on his mouth and beard “Of course you taste good, fuck- I’ll make sure I’m reimbursed.”

But before you can even try to say something he’s back to it- making sure every nook and cranny and being touched and pleased. You could feel the heat in your lower stomach as your cunt felt like it was on fire and everything felt so good- you were way past gone seeing white in your vision as he playfully nibbled on your clit and it sent you over the edge as your thighs shook and you forced him against your clit for longer as you tangled your fingers in his hair getting a low growl from him, you released your iron grip as Logan carefully moved you up the bed and pressed his lips to yours to let you taste yourself and you wrapped your arm around the back of his neck as your gasped and panted “you proved me wrong once..”

Logan smirked and moved to carefully let his hand run down your body and you grabbed his wrist “No- I wanted to relax, not be overstimulated.” He hummed and moved to stand up as you watched him with a disappoint in your eyes “Just going to get a towel to clean you up. I’ll be back.” And like that he was gone and then back with a small towel with warm water as he carefully got you cleaned up “There we go, atta girl.” As he moved to throw it into the bathroom and you grabbed him “I’ll make up for it, maybe I’ll just have to surprise you myself.” He laughed and looked at her “You go ahead and try, I’ll be waiting.”

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rhuski2002

1 month ago