That's Actually Why Oda Didn't Add Luffy's Mom… She'll Just Kill Anyone Who Touches Her Son.

That's actually why Oda didn't add Luffy's mom… She'll just kill anyone who touches her son.

Surprise, I'm alive!

Hello! Idk If You Done This Before But Could You Do A Imagine Of Either The Strawhats Or Heart Pirates

strawhat crew x strawhat!reader (platonic)

words count: 1.7k

tags: platonic, strawhat reader, immortal reader, luffy tries to test your immortality

masterlist || ko-fi

The battle is chaos. Cannons boom, swords clash, and the air is thick with smoke and the smell of gunpowder. You don’t know exactly how it happens, but one moment, you’re blocking a sword swing, and the next, a bullet tears through your chest.

Your body hits the ground with a dull thud.

Silence.

Then, pure, unfiltered panic.

"Y/N!" Luffy’s scream cuts through the battlefield like a knife. His eyes widen in horror, and his usual carefree grin vanishes "Oi! Get up!"

Zoro, mid-swing against an enemy, falters as he sees your unmoving body "Damn it! They got Y/N!" His grip on his swords tightens "I should’ve been watching!"

"Oh no, oh no, oh no!" Usopp’s voice is shrill. He looks like he’s about to throw up "We—we need Chopper! Chopper!"

Sanji’s cigarette drops from his mouth as he turns sharply "Tch—those bastards." His expression darkens, and before anyone can stop him, he launches a devastating kick that sends one of the attackers flying "They’re dead. Every last one of them."

"Y/N!!" Nami’s eyes are wide with shock. She looks from your lifeless body to the enemy forces and then to Chopper, who is already rushing over, tears forming in his eyes.

"No! No, no, no! Hold on, Y/N!" Chopper skids to your side, his tiny hooves trembling as he checks for a pulse "They’re—THEY’RE NOT BREATHING!"

"No," Robin murmurs, brows furrowing "Not like this."

Franky’s hands clench into fists "That’s it! These jerks are SUPER dead!"

Brook, ever the gentleman, removes his hat solemnly "Ah…Y/N, my dear friend… You will be missed."

The crew collectively ignores him.

Luffy’s hands shake "This isn’t funny" he mutters. His knuckles turn white as he clenches his fists "They were my crew! They were—"

Then, right in the middle of their grief, in the middle of the battlefield, you groan.

"God, that hurt like hell."

The silence that follows is deafening.

You push yourself up, rubbing your chest where the bullet hole should be, but there’s nothing. Just a torn shirt and a lot of blood.

"Ugh, I hate dealing with this shit." You stand up, rolling your shoulders like you just woke up from a nap "That one stung."

Luffy’s jaw drops "HUUUUUUH?!"

Chopper looks like he’s about to pass out "B-B-But you were—you weren’t breathing! You were DEAD!"

"Yeah, about that," you say, dusting yourself off "I don’t really stay dead. Kind of a thing I have."

Nami looks like she’s questioning reality itself "Excuse me?!"

"You mean," Usopp wheezes, pointing at you like you’re some kind of horror story, "you just DIE and come back?! Like Brook??"

You nod "Not really... but pretty much."

Sanji, still mid-rampage, freezes "...You mean I just got worked up for nothing?"

"I mean, I appreciate the rage," you say with a grin "Nice to know you guys care."

Zoro stares at you for a long moment "You had us thinking you were gone, dumbass."

"Not my fault! I was shot! I wasn't expecting that!!"

"HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?!" Franky yells, gesturing wildly.

"Oh, I just don’t die."

"THAT IS NOT AN EXPLANATION!"

Luffy suddenly laughs, his earlier grief completely gone, replaced with awe "Shishishi! That’s so cool! Y/N, you’re like a zombie! But not a creepy one like Brook!"

"Hey!" Brook protests "That’s hurtful!"

Robin, ever the calm one, tilts her head "So you’ve had this ability this entire time?"

You shrug "Yeah, but I never really had to use it around you guys. You all are usually pretty good at keeping me from getting shot or anything deadly."

Chopper is still hyperventilating "I CAN’T HANDLE THIS KIND OF STRESS."

"Well, get used to it, buddy." You pat his tiny head "‘Cause something tells me the Marines are gonna be real interested in me once they find out."

Nami groans "Ugh. I can already hear our bounties going up."

"Not my fault!"

Zoro sighs "You’re a pain in the ass."

You grin "And yet, you’d miss me if I was really gone."

He clicks his tongue but doesn’t deny it.

Luffy laughs again and throws an arm around your shoulders "This is awesome! We’re unstoppable now! Let’s go kick some more ass!"

And just like that, the chaos resumes with the Strawhats now fully aware that their newest crewmate is literally impossible to kill.

The battle wraps up quickly after your "revival", mostly because the enemy forces are too busy freaking out about the supposedly dead person walking around like nothing happened. Some of them flat-out drop their weapons and run. Others just stand there, gaping in horror.

"D-Demon!" one of them shouts before bolting.

"Huh," you say, watching them flee "Didn’t expect that reaction."

Luffy grins "Shishishi! You scared ‘em good!"

Sanji lights another cigarette, shaking his head "I don’t blame them. If I saw a corpse cursing about how annoying it was to die, I’d run too."

Chopper is still clutching his chest, trying to breathe properly "I’m going to need so much tea after this."

Nami rubs her temples "You and me both, Chopper. You and me both."

Usopp finally stops hyperventilating long enough to poke you in the arm "Okay, but like… does it hurt? When you die?"

You nod "Oh yeah. It sucks. But I get over it."

Franky whistles "That is SUPER messed up."

Robin chuckles "It’s certainly rare. The government would definitely want to study you to know how to avtually kill you."

You groan "Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. If they find out, I’m probably getting a massive bounty."

Luffy’s eyes sparkle "That means we’re gonna be even more famous!"

Zoro crosses his arms "Not necessarily a good thing, Captain."

Before the conversation can continue, a loud explosion erupts from the distance. The remaining enemy ships have started retreating, but they’re firing cannons to cover their escape.

One of the cannonballs heads straight for you.

"Move!" Nami shouts.

"Nah, I got it" you say casually.

The cannonball slams directly into you, kicking up a massive cloud of dust and debris.

The Straw Hats lose their minds for the second time that day.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Sanji yells.

Chopper throws himself to the ground, screaming into his hooves "I CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS!"

"Why didn’t they move?!" Nami shrieks.

Luffy just grins "They’ll be fine. Right, Y/N?"

The dust settles, and there you are, lying on your back in a crater, looking mildly annoyed.

"Okay," you groan "That one sucked more than the bullet."

Brook tilts his skull "Ah, but did you feel it in your bones? Yohohoho!"

"I swear to god, Brook."

Franky shakes his head "I don’t know if this is amazing or horrifying."

Robin smiles "Both."

Zoro sighs "At this point, I don’t think anything can actually kill you."

You give him a thumbs-up "Pretty much hiw it works"

Luffy bursts into laughter and punches his fist into his palm "Alright! That means we really are unstoppable now! Let’s get back to the Sunny and celebrate!"

The crew cheers, except for Chopper, who is still lying on the ground, contemplating his life choices.

As the Thousand Sunny sails away from the battlefield, a transmission crackles to life in a Marine base far away. A serious-looking officer listens to the report with growing concern.

"…Confirmed reports indicate that the Straw Hat Pirates have a new crewmember with apparent immortality. We are still gathering information, but if true, this could be one of the greatest threats we’ve ever faced."

The officer frowns "Increase surveillance on their movements. If this is real, their bounty is going to skyrocket."

The crew is still struggling to process what they just witnessed. Chopper is on his fourth cup of tea, shaking slightly. Nami is already calculating how much higher her bounty is going to be just because of association. Luffy, meanwhile, is grinning ear to ear.

"Alright, Y/N, let’s test it!" Luffy exclaims.

You blink "Test what?"

"Your power! Let’s see how much you can take before you go down!"

"Absolutely not," Nami cuts in immediately "We are NOT using our crewmate as a test dummy."

Luffy pouts "But it’s so cool! Y/N’s like a superhero! Or a really bad zombie!"

Brook raises a hand "As an actual undead individual, I must say that I find this comparison quite unfair!"

Zoro leans back against the mast, arms crossed "I say we let them do what they want. If they really can’t die, it’s useful information."

Sanji glares at him "And what, you just wanna go around slicing them up for fun?"

"Did I say that?"

"You were thinking it."

Usopp waves his hands frantically "Okay, okay, let’s NOT casually experiment with Y/N’s immortality like it’s some kind of game! We should be asking the important questions."

"Like what?" You ask.

"Like… can you drown?"

Silence.

Everyone turns to look at you. Your eye twitches.

"Usopp," you say slowly "Why would you even ask that?"

"Because it’s important! What if we’re in a battle at sea? What if you fall overboard? Will you just come back to life at the bottom of the ocean?"

You pause, then frown "…I have no idea."

"WELL, THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!" Luffy cheers and suddenly grabs you, launching himself off the ship and into the water.

The crew collectively loses their minds.

"LUFFY, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!" Nami screeches "YOU’RE A DEVIL FRUIT USER!"

Sanji dives in instantly, hauling both you and Luffy out of the sea. Luffy is sputtering and laughing, while you just cough up a lungful of seawater.

"So?" Luffy asks excitedly "Did you die?"

You glare at him "I ALMOST DID, YOU IDIOT!" You shake your head and squeeze water out of your shirt "Looks like I still need to breathe. Maybe I'll just be alive once I'm out of water..."

Chopper collapses in relief "THANK GOD."

Robin chuckles "Well, that settles that. Y/N isn’t entirely indestructible."

Franky grins "Still, that’s SUPER impressive! The Marines are gonna have a fit when they get the full report on this."

Meanwhile, at Marine Headquarters, a high-ranking officer slams a fresh bounty poster onto the table. Your face stares back at them, right beneath a massive new bounty.

WANTED: Y/N Dead or Alive Bounty: 1,200,000,000 Berries

"Find them. Now."

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