Music & Memories

Tips for living alone

Buy a bat (I have my old color guard rifle) or similar. Keep it in your room/near your bed.

Get a lock for your bedroom door.

If you’re moving into a new place, change the locks. Who knows who had a key to your place before you.

Keep your phone/a phone in your room.

Get a weather alert system set up. App, weather call, little weather radio that tells you about major weather events.

Adopt a pet

Wave at your neighbors. Take note of the ones that make you uneasy. Watch out for kids always.

Be nice to your mail person. No matter what.

If you choose to drink/etc alone, unplug your wifi router. You’ll thank me.

Have extra seating. People sit when they visit. Your one comfy chair is great for you. Not so great for you + grandma + ur five cousins, your aunt, and a couple others.

Learn the self-Heimlich

When you take a shower, bring your phone to the bathroom in case you fall your phone is no longer halfway across the house, it’s just on your counter

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Idk what else

Yes.

Until I saw this post, I had no idea it was happening. Please share.

So what is going on in Iran right now?

I am pretty sure most of you who are either on TikTok or keep up with international news have heard about the massive protests happening in Iran right now. Its a pretty big deal. But what exactly are these protests for and why are they so important?

Hopefully, for those who dont know whats going on I can explain it all here.

Who is Mahsa Amini and what happened to her

Mahsa Amini was a 22-year-old woman traveling from Kurdistan to Tehran (the capital of Iran) to visit family and was stopped once she entered the city by something called “the morality police” (yes this is a real thing). They claimed Mahsa Amini was wearing her Hijab incorrectly and that she would be arrested to undergo “reeducation” at the police station (which would result in her being released after an hour or so). Mahsa’s brother was with her when she was arrested and waited at the station for her to be released.

It is unclear what exactly happened between when Mahsa was arrested and the events of her death (mostly because we do not have any video of these events), but the women detained along with Mahsa reported for similar offenses reported Mahsa was violently beaten by said “morality officers”. This was supposedly for resisting their insults directed toward her. This story is corroborated by her brother’s report of Mahsa having bruises all over her body and the hospital where Mahsa was staying reporting she was brain dead upon arrival along with reporting signs of skull fracture and bleeding in her brain both on social media and in leaked medical reports.

Mahsa died of her injuries 2 days after she was admitted to the hospital on September 16th of 2022. 

The official cause of death as reported by both the morality police and Iranian government has been extremely suspicious since the ‘official’ story claims she died as a result of a random heart attack/seizure combo. However, as stated before, there is plenty of evidence that Mahsa was violently attacked which includes (but is not limited to): the skull fractures found, the bruising around her body and face, the bleeding found in her brain and ears, and the fact several other witnesses have either said they witnessed the assault or have seen the previous things. Mahsa’s father also reported she was in perfect health and did not have a history of heart or seizure issues.

Why are people protesting?

For the people of Iran, instances of violence like this are not an unheard-of occurrence. Since the revolution of 1979 and the creation of this “morality police force” women were forced to wear the Hijab regardless of personal choice and had to adhere to a strict modest dress code lest they face similar treatment to Mahsa. To quote an actual penal code enacted in Iran post-revolution:

“women who appear in public without religious hijab will be sentenced to whipping up to 74 lashes”

Violence against women for this reason was now, in a way, much more normalized. Some of these dresscodes did apply to men, sure, but they were primiarly created expressly to control women with the use of fear and force by way of the Hijab. To also directly quote Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei (who has been in power since 1989):  

“improperly veiled women should be made to feel unsafe”

Is this an anti-Islam protest?

The protests surrounding the death of Mahsa Amini have definitely gained international attention by what many people are doing in them. Many women are burning their hijabs in the streets, cutting off/shaving their hair, and otherwise just doing a lot of things that, traditionally, would be considered taboo under this system that’s currently in place. However, this does not seem to be a direct rejection of Islam and rather a direct rejection of control over women by the use of the Hijab as an avenue for that control.

As stated before, this is not a new issue. There have been anti-hijab protests going on since the revolution in Iran back in the 70s. There were even protests pre-revolution FOR veiling since the leader at the time wanted to strictly stick to western norms. Iran shifted from one major extreme to the other. And in both these extremes choice on the part of the woman in question is completely taken out of the equation. It has been men making these choices for women in a broad universal way without giving women the ability to decide what they want for themselves. There is more than 1 way to veil in Islam. There are also many women who do not veil at all but are still active participants in their faith. There is not one specific way to do this correctly within Islam because modesty as a whole is a subjective topic. So the fact this police force exists in the first place is less about keeping morals ‘secure’ and more about exerting control through these rules via more extreme interpretations. 

It would however be unfair to say that these protests and the cultural revolution happening because of these protests do not diametrically oppose some parts of Islam and the culture surrounding it. These beliefs are incompatible by virtue of them being polar opposites of each other. These protests, like it or not, have western influence on them and this influence threatens certain parts of Islam because over time certain aspects of culture have become rooted in these controlling methods. Its pretty unclear how this will all play out. However, it is safe to say this will be shaking up things both within Iran and in the world of Islam as a whole. 

Why are Non-Iranian women also cutting their hair?

Ever since the protests have gained international attention many women outside of Iran (both ethnically Iranian and not) have also been cutting their hair to various degrees to stand in solidarity with protestors. 

This is significant symbolically for a few reasons. In many cultures, long hair is directly tied to one’s femininity, attractiveness, and even in some cases where one comes from. Like it or not hair is culturally and socially important and the loss off it can be a very big deal for those living under these cultural expectations. In Iran doing something like this subjects you to harassment from the morality police. It breaks the morality code and challenges the idea of what a woman should be and look like. Outside of this context, the removal of hair can be a sign of mourning, fear, anger, and a rejection of femininity (or in this case, the control brought on by strict gendered dress codes). 

There has been a lot of controversy around this act since many people currently participating in these protests feel this act is performative activism on the part of western allies. Cutting one’s hair is not really on the same level as donating money to a cause or protesting yourself. But others believe this is an important act of international solidarity. If you reading this decide to do this: do it at your own discretion and be sure your act of solidarity does not outshine the actual protests going on.

Why are people asking to blur/delete protest footage posted online?

It should go without saying that the people protesting right now are putting themselves in very real danger. What happened to Mahsa Amini is now happening to protesters who are speaking out about Iran’s harsh morality laws. Many people have died already as a result of participating in these protests and many more have gone missing. When you are dealing with an oppressive system like this they are not going to take too kindly to opposition. And if they are not afraid to beat women simply for wearing their Hijab ‘incorrectly’, they are not afraid to do much worse to political rivals. 

Out of respect for the protesters and their safety: please blur out any faces, names, and remove all metadata from any protest photos/footage you decide to share online. Because if I can find one of the protestors on Instagram simply by looking at their face and general location so can the morality police. For those around during the Black Lives Matter protests, the Russian anti-war protests, or any other media-sensitive protest use those same rules when posting footage/reporting on them

Yes.

“Bop It” is a game all about what not to do to my penis.

I love this game!

“For untold ages the Elves reveled in the bounty of their mother Earth, and their world was brightened by idyllic songs of beauty, peace and love.”  Wizards was a 1982 board game from Avalon Hill by Thomas and Coral Mosbø, with the hex map and chits you would expect from the publisher of Panzer Blitz, but with predominantly nonviolent themes, goals of “relearning the rites of the Magical Orders" and “performing good deeds,” art by Coral that reviewers usually described as New Age, and a quote from Yes to introduce the rules, beneath “The Messenger of Hope” modeled on Yes’ Jon Anderson.

Wrestlemania 41 Night One Predictions

√ World Heavyweight Championship match: Jay Uso defeats (c) Gunther.

Jay is hot right now and Gunther needs to lose the title so he can lose to Goldberg in his retirement match. I don't think Jay will hold it for long though.

√ Jade Cargill defeats Naomi.

Naomi's promos have been awesome, but of all the matches on this card, this one's a no brainer.

√ World Tag Team Title Match: New Day defeat (c) War Raiders.

I love the idea of Big E coming along and costing the New Day the match. But honestly, New Day needs this win. Plus, they will be quite entertaining as the champs. Maybe Big E can cost them the titles at SummerSlam.

√ United States Championship: Jacob Fatu defeats (c) L.A. Knight.

Pretty much the other given on this card. It's Fatu's time.

X Rey Mysterio Rey Fenix defeats El Grande Americano.

WWE announced about an hour ago that they've bought the AAA promotion. Yeah... There's no way El Grande is winning.

√ WWE Women's Championship: (c)Tiffany Straton defeats Charlotte Flair.

This is the hardest one for me. I mean, it's Charlotte Flair at Wrestlemania LOL. But I just have a feeling that WWE (Paul in particular) is just sick of her s**t. Plus, Tiffany is much more entertaining. So IMO, "It's Tiffy Time!"

X CM Punk defeats Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins.

You need to send the crowd home happy tonight (cuz SPOILERS it won't happen tomorrow), and of the 3, Punk is the one to pick. Hayman will slide a chair into the ring and it'll end up between Punk & Reigns and that will factor into the victory.

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

I wonder how many chefs in medieval times were wrongfully executed because the king’s food tester had a deadly allergy.

The Recent Realization That Completely Took Me By Surprise

“I’ve made the decision.  I’m giving up on dating.”

I made this proclamation to a friend sometime in the very early 2000s.  I was tired of everything that went with dating, or trying to get dates, and had gotten to a point where I, quite frankly, just didn’t give a damn anymore.  I was happier being alone, relationship wise.

My friend scoffed at me, and as I told others, they did too.  But for the past (approximately) 14 years, that’s been the story.  There really was no one I actively wanted to date.

So it came as quite a shock to me when one night a couple of months ago, as I was out at a bar with a group of friends, it became clear to me that I really wanted to ask one of them out on a date.

[This, BTW, is not the realization this blog post is about.]

I did not react well to this.  Remember a few months ago when I was making Vaugebook posts about frustration and falling into old mental traps?  Well, now you know why.  I had so many questions I couldn’t answer.  Where did this come from?  Why was this suddenly happening?  I was happy not being in the dating scene, why would I suddenly want to screw that up?  Why her?  I didn’t really consider how she would feel.  I was 99% sure she wasn’t interested.  In fact, I think I would’ve been more worried if I asked her out and she actually said yes!

A week later, I travelled to New York City to visit a couple of friends of mine.  While there, I discussed my recent revealation.  They had become engaged a couple of weeks before, so I took their view of my situation with a huge grain of salt.

But as I spent the day with them, and watched them together, I became aware that I wanted exactly what they had.

That connection. That emotional bonding. That love.

[This, also, is not the realization this blog post is about.  Stay with me here.]

I got on the train home and began thinking about everything and every emotion, past and present; what had led me to where I had been and to where I was now.  And somewhere between Harlem and Greenwich, I discovered the truth.

The truth was that, during all those years, I had wanted to date.

I had wanted that connection. That bonding. That love.

The problem was, during that time and up until recently, I didn’t love myself.  Truth be told, I down right loathed myself for most of that time.  And because of that, I didn’t think I deserved to be loved by anyone.

So when I would meet a woman who I thought was special, I would think to myself, “Too bad I don’t want to date anyone”, and put it out of my mind.

This is the revelation this blog post is about.  The revelation that, “I don’t want to date anyone”, was really my brain’s way of saying, “You don’t deserve anyone’s love.”

And once I realized that, everything going on fell into place.

I love myself now. I’m ready to date. I’m ready to love someone else now.

But, most of all, I’m ready to accept that someone can love me the same way.