“You Get A Strange Feeling When You’re About To Leave A Place. Like You’ll Not Only Miss The People

haven’t posted in a while. a lot of things happened.

in december, i reunited with some of my friends when i was in 6th grade and i started talking to my first love / boyfriend again. we kept in touch for the past six years, and in february, he met my parents. twelve days later, i asked him to be my boyfriend.

i graduated from high school. i spend my last two years doing stuff online and not actually going to school to study and meet my teachers and classmates but still, it was a good two years. putangina mo, duterte. kasalanan mo kung bakit nagkakanda leche leche ang pilipinas mula 2020.

i also got disowned by my mother (now birth giver) when i said i wanted a different college program but as much as i wanted to pursue that i can’t bc idk how will i be able to support myself financially. i’m about to enroll to a uni here in our province and take psychology.

this is a random realization but i realized that when i got a boyfriend, i forgot what it’s like to be alone. i now have someone to share my sadness and happiness with, someone to celebrate my small victories. i now have someone to share love with and honestly, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. our relationship is not perfect, it will never be, but i’m glad it’s him i work things out with. i love him dearly.

The whole point of life... is to change, to evolve, to grow. Don't resist it, embrace it.

you know how sunflowers turn to follow the sun? to feel the warmth bless their faces? that’s how I feel around you, I can’t take my eyes off you, can’t look away from the way you shine

When I'm older...

I’m getting the hell out of my house. I’m getting away from my parents. I’m getting whatever the fuck I want tattooed or pierced if my heart so desires. I’ll go to whatever school I want for college. I’ll live wherever I want. I’ll do what I want. I’ll hopefully meet a good guy that I like. I won’t care for my parents approval. I’ll get married. I’ll raise a good family. I won’t fuck up my family like my parents. I’ll give my family a good life. I’ll do whatever I want to do without criticism and hate. I’ll be myself, not the person my parents want me to be. I WILL BE MY OWN SELF. ME AND ONLY ME

oh it's that serious

"و لو أن إبليس يومًا رآكِ، لقبل عينيك ثم اهتدى"

"And if the devil were to see you, he would kiss your eyes and repent"

-farouq gouida

“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.”

— C.S. Lewis

honestly just holding your hand would make me hella happy

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”

—

Love who you love while you have them. That’s all you can do. Let them go when you must. If you know how to love, you’ll never run out.

Ann Brashares, My Name Is Memory (via thebookquotes)