Crossroads Romance | P.hs đ©°
Crossroads Romance | p.hs đ©°
pairing: park sunghoon x reader đđ§žàŸàœČ
wc: 19.7k
synopsis: after disappearing for two years, Sunghoon finally comes back as stunning as ever. Rumour has it he has a new girlfriend?
warning: not proof read! p in v, oral f receive, kissing, skin-ship, a bit of reader x heeseung, sexting, masturbating, makeup s.x, angst, smut, degrading, praising, sunghoon being just too perfect
mdni.
During the first two years of university, you had an amazing time. You became very popular, never missed a class, and received daily confessions from boys. Safe to say you were the making campusâ âitâ girl.
While your friends were busy dating and having relationships, you were focused on your studies. You didnât have time for romantic entanglements when you were determined to graduate at the top of your class.
After your boyfriend disappeared without a trace, you stopped believing in love. Even so, you still hold onto a faint hope that someday he will come back for you. In your dreams, you always imagine the day he returns.
Your friends encouraged you to move on and meet someone new, but you couldnât bring yourself to do it. Every time you saw a happy couple on campus, your thoughts would drift back to him.
Although you have gone on a few dates with attractive men, none have made an impression on you as deeply as Sunghoon once did.
Your heart longed for the connection you had shared with Sunghoon, and you couldnât shake the feeling that nobody else could fill the void he left behind.
While you were absorbed in your thoughts, a commotion erupted nearby. A group of students had formed a circle around something, blocking your view. Curiosity gnawed at you, and you inched closer to see what was happening.
As you weaved through the curious onlookers, you caught a glimpse of something that took your breath away. Standing in the center of the crowd was none other than Sunghoon.
"I can't believe he's back," one student whispered, their eyes wide with shock.
"Yeah, he had a glow up definitely," another chimed in, their voice tinged with awe.
The murmurs around you grew louder as people discussed his unexpected return. Some whispered about how he had vanished without a trace, while others commented on how good he looked. One thing was unanimous: everyone seemed to be talking about him.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched him from afar. He looked even more captivating than you remembered, and the memories of your past relationship flooded back at full force.
You frantically pushed through the crowd, approaching Sunghoon, whose towering frame loomed over you. To your relief, he appeared surprised to see you.
His eyes widened in surprise when he caught sight of you. A range of emotions flickered across his face, including realization and a hint of guilt. For a brief moment, he hesitated, unsure of how to react.
ây/n?â he finally spoke, his voice laced with a mix of surprise and uncertainty. The sound of his deep, familiar voice stirred up a whirlwind of memories inside of you. It was as if no time had passed at all.
You gazed at him, your mind struggling to process whether he truly stood before you or if it was merely a dream. After a moment, you stuttered a response, "Y-yeah, that's me." Despite the changes over the past two years, you also experienced a significant transformation, enhancing your appearance.
His eyes scanned over you as if seeing you for the first time. His gaze lingered for a moment before his stoic expression softened into a faint smile. He didnât say anything else, but his eyes seemed to study every detail of your new appearance.
As the moments passed, the murmurs and whispers surrounding you grew louder. The students who had formed the tight circle around Sunghoon were chattering amongst themselves, their voices filling the air. âI canât believe heâs back,â one student whispered to their friend, their tone tinged with awe.
âWhatâs y/n doing with him,â another chimed in, their voice tinged with admiration.
Students around you exchanged looks. âI swear, they were practically inseparable back then. Do you think theyâre still together?â one student whispered a little louder than intended, causing your ears to perk up.
You impulsively raised your hand, poking his shoulder without thinking. Realizing your action, you swiftly drew your hand back, blushing slightly in embarrassment. âS-sorry..â you muttered, looking away from him. You knew that this time, you werenât dreaming.
Your sudden poke caused him to flinch, his gaze shifting to you. A brief flash of confusion flickered in his eyes before he replied, âNo, itâs fine.â He seemed just as flustered as you were, his usually composed demeanor slipping for a moment.
Among the sea of murmurs and speculation, a bold voice rose above the rest. "Hey, are they still together?" a boy called out from the crowd, his comment drawing everyone's attention.
Sunghoon's eyes darted towards the source of the voice, a flicker of annoyance evident in his gaze. He remained silent, clearly not appreciative of the question being asked in front of others. He was usually more of the shy type, so he waited for you to talk.
You stammered slightly, replying, "I-I donât... no, I donât think so." Your words were softly spoken, your voice betraying a hint of uncertainty mixed with a touch of hesitation.
Your response seemed to catch him off guard, a slight furrow appearing on his brow. His expression mirrored the same uncertainty you were trying to convey. The onlookers around them seemed to shift their gazes between the two of you, anticipation hanging in the air.
It was clear that everyone around you was eagerly awaiting some sort of confirmation, hoping to get clarity on the current status of your relationship. Despite the pressure of the moment, neither of you spoke, the silence stretching out in the air.
As the silence dragged on, the murmurs in the crowd began to die down. One by one, the onlookers slowly dispersed, realizing there was no satisfying answer to their questions. The tension in the air eased ever so slightly as the curious eyes around you moved on to other matters.
The crowd gradually thinned out, leaving you and Sunghoon standing there, facing each other. The initial shock had worn off, replaced by a palpable awkwardness that hung heavy between you.
"So...," you began, your voice quivering with disbelief, still grappling with the reality of the situation. "Where have you been...?" Your voice shook as you voiced the question that had been burning in your mind since his disappearance.
A wave of guilt washed over his face, his eyes averting your gaze. He looked away as he answered, a tinge of shame in his voice, "I was... I was away, y/n."
His response was short, almost dismissive. It was clear that he didn't want to delve deeper into the subject.
Your tone shifted from disbelief to frustration, and you scoffed. "Well itâs pretty obvious you went away," you retorted, the words slipping out more forcefully than intended. "Why and where on earth did you vanish, Sunghoon? I was genuinely worried sickâŠ" Your irritation and concern were evident as you spoke, emphasizing the gravity of his absence and the impact it had on you.
Sunghoon clenched his jaw, clearly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. His mind worked furiously, searching for a way to navigate this situation without revealing too much.
"I just... needed some space," he muttered under his breath, attempting to dismiss your concern with a half-answer.
Frustration bubbled up inside you, and you retorted sternly, "Some space? That's all you have to say after disappearing without a word for two year? You just needed space? You didnât even bother to text me!â
The words stung as they left your mouth. You hadn't meant to be so blunt, but your pent-up frustration and lingering hurt had overwhelmed you.
He stared at you with a mixture of guilt and resignation, seemingly aware of the pain he had caused you.
Just as your heated exchange reached its peak, the sound of the bell broke through the atmosphere like a sharp alarm, signaling the end of break time. The shrill noise cut through the tension, reminding everyone of their impending classes.
Students around you began to scatter, hastening to their classes. They cast final lingering glances at you and Sunghoon before disappearing into various directions. The once lively spot emptied, leaving only the two of you behind.
As the last of the students hurried away, Sunghoon took advantage of the distraction. "I have class," he mumbled quickly, gesturing vaguely behind him. He was eager to escape the tense situation, and seizing the opportunity afforded by the bell ringing, he began to back away from you.
"Wait, Sunghoonâ" you started, reaching out to grab his arm, but his pace had already quickened, and your fingers barely grazed his sleeve before he was out of reach.
â
You waited near the school gate, your eyes continuously scanning the crowded campus for any sign of him. Frustration gnawed at you as the clock ticked away, knowing that he had actively avoided you all day.
You released a weary sigh as you approached the table occupied by your popular âfriendsâ and collapsed onto the seat beside Kazuha. She glanced at you and remarked with a teasing tone, "You look like you just crawled back from hell." Looking up, you saw her taking a bite out of her granola bar. "What's the matter?"
You groaned in response, feeling the exhaustion seeping into your bones. "Sunghoonâs back after disappearing on everyone for two years," you muttered, slumping in your seat. It had been a long day filled with frustration and disappointment, and the last thing you wanted to deal with was Kazuha's playful teasing.
Another girl, Chaewon, joined in the conversation and added, "I heard he's like, super hot now." Her comment carried a hint of curiosity and intrigue, implying that Sunghoon's appearance had undergone changes that had caught their attention.
The news of Sunghoonâs appearance change didnât surprise you. After all, two years had passed since he vanished, and it made sense that he would have grown and matured during that time. Nevertheless, a pang of jealousy flared within you as your friends continued discussing his newfound attractiveness.
Kazuha's words hung in the air as she asked, "Wait, so you two aren't together anymore, right?" You shook your head in confirmation, signaling the end of your relationship with Sunghoon. "Okay, good because me and Kazuha were walking around the field earlier in the day, and it low-key seemed like he was making out with someone. It was like, very intense," Chaewon stated, her words laced with both concern and scandalized fascination.
Their revelation hit you like a wave of disappointment and confusion. It stung to hear that Sunghoon was involved with someone else so soon after his return.
The image of him making out with another girl haunted your mind, stirring up a mix of jealousy and sadness within you.
"He⊠He was making out with someone�" you repeated, the words escaping your lips in a hushed whisper.
Both girls nodded their heads delicately, signaling their agreement and empathy. There was a hint of concern in Kazuha's voice as she remarked, "Kinda feel bad for you though. We know you loved him a lot." Their words carried a tinge of compassion, acknowledging your deep feelings for him.
Their understanding words seemed to offer little solace in the face of this new information. Even so, you appreciated their concern.
A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you tried to push past the emotional pain. "Itâs fine," you murmured, attempting to hide the hurt behind a brave facade. "Itâs been two years since we broke up. Iâve moved on."
Chaewon, however, expressed her disbelief with a scoff. She shook her head at the notion of you moving on and declared, "You? Moved on? Impossible!"
Her dismissive tone struck a nerve, making you bristle with annoyance. It was true that moving on was not something you had accomplished easily, but you didnât appreciate your friend calling it impossible.
"I swear, you might as well still be together," she insisted, her words like a sharp poke to your sensitive nerve. "You don't just âmove onâ from someone you fell in love with so quickly. It's been two years, but you still can't bring yourself to date anyone new."
A mixture of curiosity and jealousy coursed through your veins. Despite the pang of heartache, you couldnât help but feel compelled to ask.
You turned to your friends and inquired, with a touch of hesitation, "Did that girl he was making out with... was she, you know, pretty?"
âUh, I mean I guess she is,â Chaewon said, her tone full of sass. âBut youâre definitely prettier.â
Kazuha hummed and nods her head in agreement. âAnd if he lost feelings for you, his loss.â
Their words were meant to be comforting, but they only deepened your sense of inadequacy. It felt like a painful reminder that despite how much you still cared for him, he had chosen someone else.
Their encouragement didnât have the desired effect. Instead, it left you feeling more wounded and vulnerable.
A heavy sigh escaped your lips, and you sank further into your seat.
"Yeah, itâs his loss," you echoed, mustering a weak smile in response to their attempt to uplift you. But deep inside, the knowledge that he had moved on with another girl still stung like a fresh wound.
âJust guys being guys you know,â Chaewon scoffed, probably thinking back of an old ex of hers.
You knew all too well the nature of guys and their tendencies. Despite your past relationship with Sunghoon, the idea of him quickly moving on with someone else stung.
"Yeah, guys being guys," you murmured, trying to keep the bitterness out of your tone.
Days passed, and you tried to keep yourself occupied with classes, studying, and hanging out with your friends. However, no amount of distractions could erase the lingering thoughts of Sunghoon and the mysterious girl he had been making out with. The mystery girl was now always on your mind, and the thought of her ignited a fire of jealousy deep within you.
The days dragged on, each passing moment only intensifying your curiosity and resentment. You found yourself constantly picturing the girl in your mind, wondering what she looked like, what her laughter sounded like, and what qualities had drawn him towards her.
As the days progressed, your interactions with Sunghoon remained awkward and fleeting. Despite being in the same popular crowd, your paths seldom crossed. However, whenever your eyes did meet across the room or hallway, the tension in the air was tangible.
Despite your best efforts, it felt impossible to escape him. You found yourself constantly surrounded by reminders of him. In conversations with your friends, in whispers in the hallways, and even in the occasional glimpse of him in passing, it felt like he was always there, always invading your thoughts.
One day, Kazuha and Chaewon approached you as you organized your belongings in your locker. With a curious tone, Chaewon inquired, "You coming to the winter dance?" Her question invited your participation in the upcoming event.
You hesitated for a moment, your mind instantly going to the thought of Sunghoon being there. Despite your desire to avoid him, you couldn't deny that you were usually the center of attention at such events because of your popularity.
"I don't know," you replied, still contemplating whether to attend or not.
Kazuha continued in a pleading tone, "Come onnnnn," emphasizing her desire for your presence. She added, "I bet that mysterious girl Sunghoon made out with will be there. Or you can confront him right there and then!" Her words implied intrigue and the potential for confrontation or resolution at the upcoming dance.
The idea of confronting him and finding out more about his mysterious girl was tempting. Your curiosity continued to gnaw at you.
"I guess so..." you finally agreed, though your mind was still swirling with unresolved emotions and questions.
Their faces both lit up, indicating their satisfaction with your decision. Kazuha gave you a reassuring pat on the back, "Atta girl." Chaewon smirked, her eyes gleaming with anticipation for the drama that might unfold.
Kazuha raised a brow and inquired, "You have someone to go with though, right?" Her question confirmed your companion for the dance, expressing curiosity about your plans and the company you intended to keep.
The mention of a partner made you realize that you hadnât considering bringing a date with you. Your mind began racing, contemplating who you could potentially bring.
"Uh, no... not yet," you admitted, somewhat embarrassed by your lack of plans in that regard.
Kazuha hummed at your answer at she looked like she was deep in her thoughts. âOkay well if Sunghoon potentially has a new girlfriend, youâre going to need a âboyfriendâ as well to make it equal to seek like youâre not still into him..â
A slight blush tinged your cheeks as you considered the idea of finding a âboyfriendâ to even the playing field. The thought of pretending to be in a relationship with someone just to compete with Sunghoon was a bit embarrassing.
"I donât know, it feels a bit⊠not authentic, you know?" you retorted, though there was a hint of curiosity in your tone.
âOkay..â Kazuha reponded. âWell you donât need to *have* a boyfriend, you just need to make it seem like you do.. maybe like a pretend?â
Your eyebrows furrowed in thought, considering Kazuhaâs suggestion. The idea of pretending to have a boyfriend for appearance sake was both intriguing and somewhat amusing.
"How exactly would that work?" you asked, a touch of skepticism in your voice.
âItâs simple. Just find a good looking guy to be your fake boyfriend and pretend youâre in love in front of Sunghoon.â Kazuha replied, her words tinged with confidence and a hint of mischief.
A mix of curiosity and hesitation brewed within you. The idea of having a fake relationship solely to play mind games with Sunghoon felt a bit manipulative.
"That feels kinda dishonest, donât you think?" you remarked, wrestling with your conflicting emotions.
Chaewon couldn't hide her disbelief and frustration. With a dramatic roll of her eyes, she expressed disapproval at your apparent naïveté. "Seriously, you think it's okay that Sunghoon vanished without a trace for two years and now returns with a girlfriend? Wake up and face reality, y/n!" Her words were firm and tinged with disappointment.
Chaewon's sharp words pierced through your hesitation, awakening a spark of anger and defiance within you. It was difficult to deny the injustice of the situation, but your heart still yearned for a genuine connection.
"You donât understand-" you began to protest, frustration seeping into your voice.
Chaewon grew more frustrated with your reluctance and added, "Y/n, you need to stop being so self-absorbed and go along with our plan. Don't you think you at least deserved an explanation from him after he ghosted everyone for two years?" Her sigh conveyed a mix of resignation and annoyance, emphasizing her frustration at your stubbornness.
The weight of her words hit you hard. Guilt and frustration collided within your thoughtsâyou couldnât deny that you felt wronged by his disappearance. Chaewon made valid points, making it difficult to dismiss her perspective.
You bit your lip, the realization of the complexity sinking in.
"I guess youâre right... I do deserve an explanation," you conceded.
Chaewon crossed her arms, her expression shifting from annoyance to satisfaction at your eventual agreement. "So youâre in, right?" she asked, her tone tinged with a hint of victory, hoping for your full commitment to the plan.
you remained silent for a moment, wrestling with your lingering doubts. However, the desire for clarity and a sense of payback against Sunghoon overwhelmed your reservations.
Finally, you took a deep breath and nodded, "Okay, Iâm in."
You had your sights set on a guy named Heeseung. Though he wasn't extremely popular, you had to admit he was quite attractive. With fair skin, dark hair, and a tall stature, he met all the physical criteria you sought. The only step left was convincing him to play the role of your fake boyfriend for a day at the winter dance.
Your mind raced with thoughts and questions as you mulled over how to approach the proposition to Heeseung. Despite already admitting the plan to Kazuha and Chaewon, doubts still gnawed at you.
Would he even agree to something so absurd? You wondered.
As you navigated the bustling hallway, you caught a glimpse of Heeseung through the crowd. The confidence and determination within you prompted your pursuit. With a subtle yet steady pace, you weaved through the sea of students until you found yourself standing before Heeseung, who had taken a pause to scroll through his phone.
"Heeseung," you called out, your voice projecting a mixture of nervousness and conviction.
Heeseung flinched slightly at the sound of his name, his attention snapping up from his phone. surprise etched across his face as he recognized you.
"Y/n?" His voice held a hint of question, probably wondering what prompted your sudden approach.
You could tell he was getting flustered around you; almost every guy in the university did. You took a brief moment to compose yourself before speaking, trying to mask the subtle tremors in your voice.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" you asked, hoping he didn't detect the hint of desperation.
His eyes flickered with a mix of curiosity and trepidation, as if he sensed the seriousness of your request.
"Sure, what's up?" he replied, his voice tinged with caution.
You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts.
"So... I have a big favor to ask," you began, trying to sound casual despite the intensity of your request.
Heeseung raised his brows curiously, his attention fully on you.
"A favor?" he echoed, his tone laced with intrigue.
You swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn't dismiss your request outright.
"Yeah... I'm attending the winter dance, and I need a date..." you trailed off, anticipating how he would respond.
A hint of surprise flashed in his eyes as he registered your unexpected request.
"Oh, uh..." His voice wavered slightly, a subtle hint of uncertainty seeping through, before he composed himself. "Are you asking me?"
Your heart skipped a beat, both nervous and hopeful that he would agree. You nodded hesitantly, hoping he wouldn't reject you on the spot.
"Yes... I was wondering if you could be my date for the dance," you confessed, your voice laced with a mixture of anticipation and vulnerability.
He glanced away for a moment, seemingly mulling over your proposition. The silence felt like an eternity to you, your anxiety mounting with each passing second.
Finally, he met your gaze once more, his expression unreadable.
"Why me?" he finally questioned, his voice tinged with curiosity.
You'd anticipated this question, expecting a reasonable explanation would be necessary.
"Well, there are a few reasons," you began, trying to sound assured.
"First, we kind of know each other," you started, hoping to build a case based on familiarity, "And, uh, you're pretty decent-looking..." Your words spilled out awkwardly, your confidence faltering.
A faint blush colored his cheeks, but whether it was from the unexpected compliment or embarrassment, you couldn't tell.
"Okay, those are fair points... but there has to be more, right?" He raised a brow, skepticism evident in his tone.
As you scrambled for more substantial reasons, you remembered Chaewon's words.
"And, um, I need someone trustworthy to be my date," you added quickly, the lie leaving a bad taste in your mouth.
He raised a brow, clearly sensing the hidden agenda behind your response.
"Trustworthy? Why's that?" he probed further, seeking a more satisfying explanation.
You pleaded with Heeseung, imploring, "Justâjust do this for me, please?" You managed to get the necessary words out of your mouth, though they left a bitter taste.
"I genuinely believe you're a handsome guy with a great personality, and I'd really love for you to be my partner at the dance..." The words felt foreign and contrived as they escaped your lips, causing an uncomfortable shiver to run down your spine.
Heeseung observed you with an intense gaze, studying your demeanor. He could sense something deeper at play, but whether he believed your explanation remained uncertain.
"Alright," he finally relented, though his voice held a hint of suspicion. "Fine, I'll be your date for the dance."
A mix of relief and anxiety washed over you as he agreed, though the undertone of doubt lingered in his tone. You forced a smile, attempting to disguise your discomfort.
"Thanks, Heeseung," you replied, managing to sound somewhat grateful despite the knot of guilt in your stomach.
âWaitââ Heeseung spoke up as you turned to leave. âAre you asking me out solely for the dance, or is there something more to it?" His words hung in the air, seeking clarity about your intentions.
Caught off guard, you paused and turned back to face him, trying to maintain composure.
"Why would you think that?" you responded evasively, hoping he wouldn't delve deeper into your true motive.
Heeseung's face flushed with embarrassment as he hesitantly confessed, "I've liked you for quite some time, y/n." His words stumbled out adorably, revealing his hidden feelings.
Your eyes widened in surprise at his bold declaration. The confession caught you off guard, especially since you had assumed he was aware of your ulterior motives.
"You...like me?" The words left your lips in a mix of confusion and disbelief, wondering if you had heard him correctly.
Heeseung chuckled and responded to your question, "Isn't it obvious? Pretty much every guy here is into you." His tone carried a hint of amusement, as if acknowledging the apparent popularity you held among the male population.
Your cheeks flushed at his remark, realizing the truth in his words. Your popularity among the guys was no secret, but having it acknowledged so matter-of-factly left you slightly embarrassed.
You conceded, reluctantly agreeing, "I suppose it could be more than just a one-time thing..." Despite not truly feeling the same, you forced yourself to say the words, knowing it was an act.
He raised a brow skeptically, seemingly sensing your wavering conviction.
"That didn't sound very convincing," he pointed out, a subtle hint of accusation in his tone.
You insisted, "I promise I'm being honest." Perhaps getting to know Heeseung better could actually help you move on from Sunghoon. After all, he apparently had a new girlfriend now, so it was likely he had moved on as well.
He examined you, his gaze penetrating your facade. The skepticism remained evident in his expression, but he didn't push further, a hint of resignation in his voice.
"If you say so... I'll trust you."
You smiled and confirmed, "Great! So, Friday at 6?â
He nodded, still somewhat uncertain.
"SureâŠ" he agreed, his voice trailing off, unable to shake off the unease.
â
Over the past few days, you got Heeseung's contact info and occasionally chatted with him. He was funny and kind, reminding you of a less shy version of Sunghoon. Using this connection, you tried to distract yourself from thoughts of Sunghoon, and it seemed to be gradually working.
Time seemed to fly by with the newfound company. Despite Heeseung's playful and sometimes teasing demeanor, getting to know him became a pleasant distraction from your past and a glimmer of hope for the future.
Heeseung, being the playful flirt that he is, often slips in subtle compliments, saying things like, "Wow y/n, so pretty today huh?" He loves to catch you off guard with unexpected winks and playful banter, trying to get a reaction out of you. Whenever he has the chance, he'll poke fun at your cuteness, saying, "You're too adorable when you get flustered, you know that?"
Sunghoon had become somewhat more elusive to you, and the only times you caught a glimpse of him these days were in passing within the bustling university hallways or outside on campus grounds.
With each fleeting sight of him, a mix of emotions coursed through you, stirring an uncomfortable blend of nostalgia and pain, as if your past memories with him came flooding back in sharp clarity.
As the evening of the winter dance finally arrived, a mix of anticipation and unease stirred within you. The crowd buzzed with excitement, creating a vibrant atmosphere. The decorations were grand, the music was upbeat and energetic, and couples swarmed the dance floor, immersed in the festivities.
You held onto Heeseung's arm as you eagerly guided him toward your group of friends. Grinning, you introduced him to Kazuha and Chaewon, your closest companions. "Kazuha, Chaewon, meet Heeseung," you said cheerfully, turning towards him. Noticeably shy at first, Heeseung nodded a timid greeting before offering a soft smile in response.
Your friends observed him, seemingly intrigued by your choice of company.Chaewon's brow arched as she looked him up and down, giving him a once-over.
"So, Heeseung, huh?" she remarked, her tone hinting at curiosity.
Heeseung fidgeted a little under their gazes, somewhat intimidated but trying to maintain a casual demeanor. "Yeah, that's me," he replied, forcing a slight chuckle to lighten the tension.
Kazuha studied him for a moment, a small smirk playing at her lips.
"Nice to meet you," she said, her tone laced with an underlying layer of assessment.
He nodded, returning the greeting with an uneasy smile, still somewhat unsettled by your friend's scrutinizing gazes. You sensed his discomfort and squeezed his arm reassuringly, offering silent support.
You continued conversing with your friends and Heeseung, but you found yourself unable to shake the sensation of someone's gaze upon you. It wasn't unusual for you to receive attention, considering your popularity, yet this time, something felt distinct.
Subtly glancing around the room, your eyes caught sight of Sunghoon, staring at you with an expressionless face, calmly sipping what appeared to be alcohol. Their gazes briefly met until he averted his eyes just as quickly, returning his focus to his group of friends. Despite his apparent nonchalance, you could still sense his lingering stare fixated upon you.
As your gaze met Sunghoon's, a mix of emotions surged within youâhurt, confusion, maybe even a hint of longing. The sight of him, casually engaging with his friends, stirred old memories, and a pang of disappointment hit you when he quickly averted his gaze.
You tried to focus on the conversation with your friends, but the lingering intensity of Sunghoon's stare weighed heavily on you. You couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind.
As the night progressed, the room seemed to grow hotter, the air heavy with unspoken tension. Despite your efforts to enjoy yourself with Heeseung and your friends, you couldn't shake off the sensation of Sunghoon's eyes following you.
Each time your gaze subtly grazed in his direction, his cold, emotionless stare met yours. It was as if he had an uncanny ability to find you in the crowd, always observing from afar.
As the night wore on and the crowd thinned, Kazuha and Chaewon excused themselves to meet their respective dates. Heeseung, taking notice of your situation, turned to you with a suggestion.
He leaned in slightly, his voice carrying over the noise, "I'm going to grab some drinks. Want something?"
You hesitated for a moment, considering the option.
"Yeah, sure," you replied, trying to sound casual. "Just be quick."
He nodded and turned to leave, leaving you standing alone for a moment. Your gaze lingered in the direction where Sunghoon was sitting, but he wasnât there. His friends were still there, but he wasnât..
Your mind wandered, wondering why he had left without explaining.
"Did he go to the bathroom?" you muttered to yourself, trying to brush off the sudden unease within you.
A few moments later, Heeseung returned with two plastic cups in hand, the clear liquid within glimmering under the dancing lights. He handed you one, his smile subtle yet warm.
Taking the cup from him, you thanked him. As you took a sip, the slight bitter taste of the alcohol hit your tastebuds, but it was smooth enough not to burn your throat.
With some more drinks, you found yourself feeling increasingly hazy and woozy. Heeseung seemed to be in the same state, his eyes heavy with intoxication. At that very moment, his appearance held a certain allure, exuding an almost irresistible kissable aura.
Heeseung's normally charming demeanor had now taken on a different aura, fueled by the intoxicating effects of the alcohol. His eyes, usually bright and expressive, now held a mysterious allure, leaving you captivated and drawn towards him. The alcohol seemed to elevate the chemistry between you, making all the senses heightened and creating an intense pull in the air.
Heeseung's movements became more fluid and relaxed, his inhibitions lowered by the influence of alcohol. His gaze locked onto you, his eyes half-lidded, a sultry smirk playing at the corners of his lips.
Heeseung's hand found its way to your waist, gently pulling you closer. Despite your slightly unsteady state, he managed to steady himself against a nearby wall. "You look good tonight," he whispered as he leaned in slightly, his voice holding a hint of huskiness.
The proximity of his body to yours sent a subtle shiver down your spine, the warmth of his touch igniting a spark of chemistry. Your mind felt a little hazy, the alcohol further blurring the lines of control.
As he leaned against the wall, pulling you closer, the words escaped his lips in a soft whisper. "So pretty tonight," he repeated, his voice carrying a hint of sensuality that sent a jolt through your core.
You couldn't help but blush, the mix of emotions and alcohol creating a confusing whirlwind of sensations. His hand tightened on your waist, a possessive gesture that sent a subtle shiver through your body. You met his gaze hesitantly, unsure of what to do next.
As Heeseung's gaze held yours, your inhibitions grew weaker. Your heart pounded in your chest, the alcohol in your system making you bolder. Unable to resist any longer, you leaned forward, closing the small distance between you. Your lips met his, a moment of undeniable chemistry igniting between you.
At first, Heeseung seemed surprised by your unexpected boldness, but he quickly reciprocated the kiss, his hand sliding to your lower back and pulling you closer against him. The air grew hotter, charged with a potent mix of desire and intoxication.
The intensity of the kiss left you breathless, but as soon as you came to your senses, guilt and regret flooded your mind. Your heart pounded with the realization of what you had just done. Without hesitation, you pulled back abruptly, breaking the heated moment.
The overwhelming guilt and the alcohol in your system made it difficult to think clearly, so without a word, you quickly pushed away from Heeseung and made a beeline toward the exit.
As you suddenly pulled away from the kiss, Heeseung, still somewhat intoxicated, tried to comprehend the sudden shift in tone. With a confused expression, he called out to you, his voice a mixture of concern and confusion.
"Hey, wait! Where are you going?" He tried to grab your wrist, attempting to prevent you from leaving.
The alcohol in his system impaired his coordination, and he stumbled a little as he grasped your wrist, trying to keep you from bolting. His grip was firm, a desperate attempt to keep you from running away.
But your mind was set on escape, the guilt and shame coursing through your veins. His hand around your wrist felt like a burning weight, a reminder of the mistake, you feared you had made.
With a pang of guilt and determination, you yanked your wrist away, breaking free from his grip and fleeing without a backward glance. You felt your heart racing at this new side of Heeseung you never knew.
Heeseung, still slightly intoxicated and stunned by your abrupt actions, was determined not to let you escape so easily.
Despite your attempt to break free, he didn't back down. Instead, he tightened his grip on your wrist and pulled you back toward him, pulling you into the nearest washroom.
In a sudden burst of passion, he locked the door, pressing you against the solid surface. "IâI shouldn't have kissed you..." you muttered timidly, apprehensively anticipating his reactions. "Do you know how long I've been yearning, craving for that to happen?" He responded, visibly confused and hurt by your words. "What do you mean you shouldn't have kissed me?"
There was a hint of desperation in his tone, his voice tinged with pain.
He continued, his grip on your wrist still strong, pinning you against the wall. "All this time I've been waiting, hoping, praying for a moment like that to happen. And now you say it was a mistake?"
Before you could even utter a word in response, Heeseung acted swiftly, grasping your wrists with a single hand and pinning them above you, his grip firm yet filled with desire. Without a moment's hesitation, he leaned in, kissing you harshly.
His actions were driven by a mix of desperation and passion, his kiss forceful and dominant. The taste of his lips was a potent mix of alcohol and lingering sweetness, a mixture that only seemed to fuel the intensity of the moment. He didn't let you withdraw, pressing himself against you, the wall serving as a solid barrier behind you.
Heeseung forcefully held onto your wrists, keeping you firmly in place. He then trailed kisses down your neck, using his other hand to cover your mouth, muffling any cries for help that might alert others. âYou shouldnât have done that y/n,â he chuckled against your ear. âLook what youâve got yourself into.â
A shiver ran down your spine as his deep, husky voice murmured against your ear. The combination of his firm grip on your wrists, combined with his hand over your mouth, left you feeling both powerless and helpless.
The way he continued to nuzzle against your neck only heightened the intoxicating mixture of confusion and desire. His words cut through the haze, a reminder that your actions had consequences.
Heeseung continued to trail kisses down your neck, savoring your scent with every gentle press of his lips against your skin.
"You smell so good..." he murmured in between soft kisses, his voice filled with a mixture of admiration and yearning. âLet me guess, Prada?â
His breath was warm against your skin as he moved to the side, trailing his lips along your cheek. "it is, isn't it?" Heeseung's nose lingered near your collarbone, breathing in your scent deeply, as if trying to memorize it. âLooks like we have the same taste in brands too huh?â
You attempted to move your head away from him, but he only responded by putting more force on your writs, causing you to whimper in response. "Ah-ah y/n," he murmured, a hint of warning in his voice, "don't try to do that..."
Heeseung's tone was firm and authoritative, sending a chill down your spine. The strength in his grip on your wrists reinforced his dominant position, leaving you no choice but to submit to his will.
Suddenly, the sound of the unlock of the bathroom door echoed through the space, jarring both you and Heeseung out of the moment. Without hesitation, whoever opened the door barged into the washroom.
Under normal circumstances, any observer would likely assume your current situation to be two weirdos doing something kinky.
However, Sunghoon knew you well enough to understand your body language. He could recognize the fear etched upon your eyes, perceiving your expressions as genuine distress rather than simulated passion.
His gaze shifted towards your widened eyes and trembling lips, noticing the subtle hints of fear and desperation etched upon your face.
The sound of the door unlocking had shattered any illusion, and he knew instantly that this was not a consensual situation you were willingly participating in.
Heeseung, too occupied with his fixation on you, was oblivious to the sudden intrusion. His grip on your wrists remained firm, his lips still pressed against your neck, unaware that someone had walked in.
Without a moment's hesitation, Sunghoon yanked Heeseung away from you, his fingers firmly gripping the collar of Heeseung's shirt, pulling him away from your trembling form.
Heeseung stumbled slightly as he was forcibly pulled away, surprised by the sudden intervention.
His eyes widened as he met Sunghoon's gaze, a mix of annoyance and defiance in his expression. "What the hell are you doing?" He snapped, attempting to shake off Sunghoon's grip.
Sunghoon's grip on his collar tightened, his tone sharp as steel. "Get off of her," he growled, his eyes locking onto Heeseung's with a chilling intensity. "Now."
Heeseung responded with a snarl, his words dripping with resentment. "And why do you care? You abandoned everyone, including your girlfriend, for two whole years, and now you show up out of no where playing hero?"
Sunghoon's jaw clenched at Heeseung's accusation, but he didn't back down. "That doesn't change the fact that what you're doing right now is wrong," he retorted, his grip never loosening. "She's clearly uncomfortable, and you're still holding onto her. Let go."
Heeseung's stubborn attitude persisted, refusing to budge. He scoffed, his voice dripping with mockery. "And what makes you think you have a right to intervene? You were never there for her when she needed you."
Sunghoon clenched his jaw, the weight of Heeseung's words sinking in. "That's not the point," he replied through gritted teeth. "The point is that you're taking advantage of her right now, and I'm not going to just stand by and let that happen."
Despite Heeseung's reluctance to back down, Sunghoon's grip on Heeseung's collar grew firmer, his voice dripping with determination. "Let go, or I swear, I'll make you let go." As he spoke, the intensity in his eyes grew more pronounced, a clear warning that he was dead serious.
Heeseung, sensing the seriousness in Sunghoon's tone, reluctantly released his grip on your wrists, his grip loosening.
You could practically feel the tension in the air as Heeseung reluctantly let go, his grip slackening, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Your wrists were sore from his tight hold, and every nerve in your body felt raw.
Finally free from his grasp, you took a moment to compose yourself, your thoughts still a chaotic whirlwind of confusion and fear. However, the sight of Sunghoon standing there, having come to your rescue, stirred a mix of emotions within you.
Heeseung, feeling the weight of the situation, reluctantly released you, his grip loosening. Without a word of apology or explanation, Heeseung swiftly straightened his clothes and brushed past Sunghoon, walking out of the washroom without looking back.
You tried to say something, but Sunghoon left before you could speak. âSunghoon, wait!â But he doesnât. He just kept going. You were left wondering what had just happened. The air was heavy with uncertainty, leaving you feeling confused and full of unanswered questions.
As Sunghoon walked away, his footsteps fading in the distance, you stood there, feeling overwhelmed by the whirlwind of emotions coursing through you. The air hung heavy with uncertainty, and a million questions swirled through your mind. What had just transpired? Why did he simply walk away without saying a word?
You call a taxi back to your dorm, not being able to focus in your drunken state. The whole time you were focused on what just happened back in the washroom. Finally, you arrived home, kicking off your shoes as you slouched down on the couch. Pulling out your phone you see 3 missed calls from Kazuha. You sigh as you turn your phone off, hurrying your face into a pillow, screaming inside of it.
The silence of your room was heavy, the weight of your thoughts and the memory of the events of the night settling heavily upon you. You sank onto the couch, burying your face in a nearby pillow as you let out a stifled scream, desperately trying to release the pent-up emotions from the night.
The thought of calling Sunghoon has came up once or twice, but you never ended up doing so. You then wondered why you didnât see his âgirlfriendâ there with him. Maybe Kazuha and Chaewon saw someone else that looked like Sunghoon? That had to be it.
The questions continued to swirl in your mind, and the image of Sunghoon's expressionless face as he left the washroom haunted your thoughts. Why had he simply left without a word, leaving you standing there confused and overwhelmed?
Just as you doze off from your drunken state, you saw Sunghoonâs caller ID on your phone as it rang on the bedside table. You quickly sat up, unplugging your phone as you picked it up. âHello??â You answered, a feeling of both worry and excitement creeping on you. âSunghoon?â
Sunghoon, sounding weary yet relieved, answered in a hushed tone. "Y/n, finally, you picked up."
You heard low, heavy breaths on the line for a few moments before a deep voice responded, "y/n..." The words were slurred with a hint of intoxication, betraying his state of inebriation.
The realization that he was not completely sober sent a pang of disappointment through your chest. A part of you had hoped for a clear, sober conversation, but it seemed fate had other plans.
âHello?? Sunghoon, are you okay?â You asked with worry. Did he get hurt? Was he in trouble? Was he finally going to tell you why he was gone for so long. No, he didnât do any of that. âY/n.. just, just keep talking for me..â
He sighed heavily into the phone, his voice tinged with a hint of desperation. "Just...please talk to me. I need to hear your voice."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, a confusing mix of concern, relief, and a strange pang of longing coursing through you. Something about hearing his voice, even in its drunken state, stirred deep emotions within you. "Okay, Sunghoon," you replied softly, your voice tinged with a touch of resignation, "I'll keep talking."
Sunghoon let out a sigh of relief, his tone now tinged with vulnerability. "Okay..." He paused for a moment, heavy panting noises were heard before continuing. "I just...I need to hear you talk y/n."
His words hung in the air, almost as if he was seeking something more than just the sound of your voice. There was a vulnerability in his tone that tugged at your heartstrings. "Alright," you responded, your voice tinged with a hint of concern, "I'm here, I'm listening. What do you want me to say?"
The sound of a muffled groan reached your ears, followed by Sunghoon's request, his voice tinged with desperation, "Anythingâjust keep talking for me..."
The raw emotion in his voice, tinged with need, sent a shiver down your spine. You took a deep breath, feeling a strange mix of concern and confusion. What was happening? Why did he want to hear you talking so badly, especially in his state of inebriation?
Your concern and confusion blended together as you asked, "Sunghoon, what are you doing?" You moved to a sitting position on your bed, allowing your legs to dangle.
There was a moment of silence before he finally responded, his voice slurred with intoxication. "I just... I had a rough night, y/n. I needed to hear your voice, to know you're real."
The pieces quickly started to fall into place as you heard him swear under his breath, and his labored breaths grew even more labored. Suddenly, realization struck: you knew exactly what was happening on the other end of the call.
A mix of concern and embarrassment washed over you as you gradually understood the situation. It seemed like Sunghoon was in a vulnerable state, and hearing the strained sound of his breathing made everything clearer. "Sunghoon," you began softly, a twinge of worry in your voice, "Are you... are you alone right now?"
"Yeah, I'm aloneâŠ" he murmured lowly, heavy breaths still audible in the background. âWhy?â
You took a second in to process what was going on before you finally answered him. âAre you..â you pause. Was it too risky? No, fuck it.
âAre you jerking off..?â
Sunghoon froze for a moment, the heavy breathing suddenly coming to an abrupt halt. You could almost sense the surprise and panic on the other end of the line, the silence growing thick with tension. After a brief pause, he finally responded, his voice strained, "Iâ uh⊠yes."
He didn't deny it or try to hide the truth, his response confirming your suspicion. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, your mind swimming with confusion and conflicting emotions. What was he thinking? Why was he doing this? Why did he call you in the midst of such a personal moment?
His plea came through the line, his speech heavy with breathlessness, "Justâjust keep talking for me, y/n..." The air of desperation was palpable in his tone, making it clear that he was engaged in something physical. âIâm so close, pleaseâŠâ
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you winced inwardly at his bluntness. The sounds of his breath and the desperate tone of his voice were hard to ignore. You felt a mixture of conflicting emotions, torn between concern, confusion, and a strange pang of sadness. "Sunghoon, I⊠I donât understand," you finally managed to say, your own voice wavering. "Why are you asking me to talk to you while you⊠do that?"
The desperation in his voice intensified as he pleaded with you, his tone pleading, "Y/n, y/n please... please just keep talking for me, be a good girl and keep talking..."
The words stung like a burn, and you felt a strange mix of frustration and helplessness. Your concern for him was growing, and the conflicting feelings coursing through you added to your inner turmoil. "But, Sunghoon⊠I can't just sit here listening to this. This... it feels weird, and I don't know what to say," you replied, your voice shaking.
His voice became more commanding as he requested, "Tell me... tell me how much you missed me when I was gone, tell me y/n." The intensity in his tone indicated that he wanted, if not outright demanded, a specific response from you.
Your heart skipped a beat at the command in his voice, and a wave of uncertainty washed over you. Missing him wasn't the issue, but the request felt almost manipulative in this situation. "Sunghoon..." you began, your voice strained, "I can't just say it like that. It doesn't feel right. Don't do this to me right now."
âY/nâŠâ he groaned, almost wet slapping noise heard in the background now. âDo you want me to turn on my camera??â
The words hit you like a cold bucket of water, the sound in the background only adding to the intensity of the situation.
Alarm bells rang in your head, and you felt a surge of panic. "What? No, donât do that!" You quickly responded, your voice laced with alarm and frustration. "Why are you even asking that? I donât want to seeâ"
Too late.
Before you could finish your sentence and protest further, the sound of a call request beeped on your phone, his name appearing at the top. Your heart leaped into your throat as your suspicion was confirmedâhe was requesting a video call.
Your mind raced, torn between the feeling of not wanting to see what was happening and the lingering curiosity, possibly concern for what he was doing to himself. With a trembling hand, you hesitated before finally accepting the call, the screen filling with his image.
The sight of him on your screen was a shock. He was shirtless, his chest heaving heavily, his body exposed and vulnerable. The sight made your heart skip a beat, and you felt a pang of mixed emotions. He was sweating, biting his lip, his eyes filled with a strange mixture of lust and desperation.
âOh shit,â he muttered under his breath, realizing the camera was focused on him, not what he wanted you to see, so he flips the camera.
There were no words to describe the wave of conflicting emotions coursing through you as the camera flipped around. You could only watch, heart pounding, as he adjusted the angle, revealing a perspective that made your stomach twist with unease. You swallowed hard, unsure of what to say or do as the reality of the situation sunk in even deeper.
His veiny throbbing manhood was leaking with pre-cum as he used one hand to stroke it up and down as the other one is used to hold the camera. âY/n, keep talking for me..â he pleaded in a low raspy tone. âPlease..â
âI⊠I donât know what to say,â you stammered, your mind racing, struggling to process the visual unfolding before you on the screen. The sight was both shocking and overwhelming, and you felt lost for words.
The desperation in Sunghoonâs voice was palpable, his plea hanging in the air, and your heart ached with conflicting emotions. "Please, y/n," he begged once more, "Just keep talking to me."
Each breath you took was heavy, and the words stuck in your throat. The mixture of concern and confusion warred within you, leaving you speechless. How did you end up in this situation? Why were you even on the phone with him, witnessing this intimate moment?
Your eyes darted between the screen and your own hands, feeling helpless and overwhelmed. "Sunghoon," you finally managed to speak, your voice trembling, "Why are you doing this? Why did you ask me to talk to you while⊠while you're⊠doing this?"
The plea in your voice was evident, the raw mix of emotions seeping through. "Please, y/n, just keep talking⊠I need you right now," Sunghoon urged, his voice heavy with vulnerability and desperation.
He repeated the question once again, his words tinged with a sense of insistence, "Are you looking? Looking?" followed by clarification, "Looking at your screen, at what my camera is focused on y/n."
You swallowed, feeling trapped, your heart racing. The command in his tone was undeniable, and you couldn't help but glance at the screen hesitantly. "Yes," you breathed out shakily, your voice barely above a whisper, "Yes, I'm looking."
His voice shifted, taking on a more possessive tone as he murmured, "Good girl, now keep talking for me..." The intensity in his words increased further as it was evident that his hand moved faster.
Your breath hitched in your throat, the situation escalating unexpectedly. The mixture of conflicting emotions was overwhelming, and your mind reeled with confusion. Hearing the words âgood girlâ made your stomach flutter, and the intensity in his voice sent a shiver down your spine.
You couldn't deny him your voice, no matter how strange and uncomfortable this felt. "Okay," you replied, your voice strained, "I'll keep talking for you."
His voice turned demanding once again, his tone dripping with need, "Tell me how you felt when I was gone, tell me how much you missed me." With each word, the yearning in his voice deepened.
The request felt both intimate and manipulative, but you knew you couldnât deny it completely. You took a breath before finally responding, your voice tinged with vulnerability.
"SunghoonâŠ" you hesitated, the words catching in your throat for a moment before continuing. "When you were gone, I missed you⊠a lot. I missed your presence. I missed talking to you, hanging out with you⊠I missed you."
As you recalled the weight of his absence, the memories flooded your mind. "I could never forget how much pain I went through when you disappeared without a word," you admitted softly, "And now you're back, and it's like all the old feelings are coming back..."
He suddenly broke the heated atmosphere, his voice tinged with remorse as he apologized, "God I'm so sorry y/n." The words were heavy with regret, his breath growing heavier with each moment, each syllable tinged with a hint of desperation. "IâI didnât know what to do..." His confession hung in the air as he continued to stroke his huge throbbing member.
The pain in his voice tugged at your heartstrings, but his words left you confused. "What do you mean⊠you didnât know what to do?" you asked, your voice laced with a mix of concern and curiosity.
"IâI didn't know how to handle my feelings for you... When I left," he stammered, his voice quivering with vulnerability. "I was scared. Scared of messing up, scared of hurting you. So I pushed you away, thinking it was the best thing to do."
âF-fuck,â he muttered, quickening his pace. âPlease y/n, Iâm so fucking close, keep talking for me yeah?â
The pleading in his voice sent a shiver down your spine. It was a strange mix of feelingsâa knot in your stomach, confusion, and somehow, a sense of being needed.
"Okay," you murmured, your voice soft and reluctant yet tinged with a hint of submission. "I'll keep talking for you... If that's what you want."
As you continued to watch him please himself, you felt a tingling sensation, bucking your hips up a bit as you let out a quiet whimper. Sunghoon chuckled at your noise. âAre you turned on y/n?â
The question caught you off guard, and you felt an odd mixture of embarrassment and excitement. "W-what?" you stammered, "No, I'm just... I'm just..." You paused, caught in your own reaction, torn between wanting to deny and wanting to admit the truth.
The smirk on his face grew wider as he realized the effect he was having on you. "Say it, y/n," he commanded with a hint of dominance in his tone. "Don't deny it."
Your body responded involuntarily to his words, making it harder to deny. A small whimper escaped from you again, betraying your attempts at denial. "I..." Your voice trailed off, your body shifting restlessly on the bed, a mix of conflicting feelings coursing through you.
He chuckled softly at your response, the sound both smug and seductive. "That's right," he murmured, his voice filled with a hint of satisfaction. "Admit it. You're turned on by watching your ex jerk himself off by your voice, aren't you?
The admission made your face heat up, but there was no denying the truth. "Yes," you confessed in a hushed tone, your voice barely audible, "I am."
The mixture of embarrassment and arousal was overwhelming, and you couldn't deny the effect his presence had on you, no matter how confusing it felt. You then slowly proceeded to slide a hand inside your shorts, moving aside your panties as you started to touch yourself, letting out a loud whimper.
âGod y/n,â Sunghoon groaned loudly. âYouâre such a slut.â The words hit you like a punch to the gut, but they also sent a wave of guilt through you as a mixture of conflicting emotions coursed through your veins.
âS-sunghoon..â you whined, inserting a finger into your cunt as you thrusted at a quick pace.
Sunghoon's voice took on a teasing lilt as he chuckled and inquired, "Yeah y/n? What is it, what's wrong?" Despite his apparent amusement, there was a hint of concern hidden beneath his words, as if he sensed your unease.
The mixture of the teasing tone and hints of concern added to your confusion. "Itâs just⊠I donât know if⊠if we should be doing this," you muttered in between breaths, your conflicting emotions making it difficult to voice your concerns clearly.
âDo you miss it?â
âMiss what?â
âWhat do miss what youâre looking at right now?â
His question caught you off guard, your mind scrambling for an answer. "IâI miss⊠your touch," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, "I miss the way you would make me feel with your hands, your lips, your body, your cockâŠ" The guilt gnawed at you, but you couldnât deny the truth.
A low growl escaped his lips, and he muttered, "Oh god..." The intensity in his voice was palpable as his breathing continued to grow increasingly heavy. âY/n- y/n mâ cumingââ
Your heart pounded as you heard his words, the mixture of anticipation and guilt still swirling inside you. "Wait, wait," you protested, "Not now, not on camera, pleaseâ"
Suddenly, a gush of white liquid squirted out of his cock as it spilt everywhere, a deep loud moan being let out afterwards. You felt yourself getting close sooner than later, adding another finger inside your hole. âS-Sunghoon!â You whimpered, arching your back to the heated sensation.
Sunghoon's breath was heavy and ragged, his chest heaving as he tried to regain composure. A mix of satisfaction and something else lingered in his eyes, the intensity of his gaze still palpable despite the aftermath.
"Y/n..." he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of surprise and a touch of something else. "Show me what youâre doing, turn on your camera sweetie."
You froze, caught between compliance and hesitation. The demand felt like a crossroad, uncertainty and excitement coursing through your veins. But there was curiosity too.
"Come on," he urged softly, his voice almost like a gentle command. "Let me how youâre pleasing yourself to my voice."
The words echoed in your mind, igniting a mixture of desire and vulnerability. You hesitated for a moment, the weight of the request heavy on your heart. But slowly, you found yourself drawn in by the allure of his voice, the temptation of obedience growing stronger with each passing second.
"Don't be shy, y/n," he urged gently, "I want to see how much you miss my touch. Show me."
In the face of his insistence, the last remnants of your resistance wavered. Biting your lip, you slowly reached for the camera, your hands trembling with a mix of anticipation and trepidation.
âOnly two fingers y/n?â Sunghoon scoffed, a clear offence in his tone. âCome on, you know Iâm bigger than that.â
Your eyebrows furrowed in response. "I know!" you snapped. "I...I can't...I'm trying..." the rest of the words dying in your throat.
His voice turned more domineering as he instructed with a hint of authority, "Put another finger in..." The words left his lips with a subtle demand, as if seeking explicit obedience from you.
Reluctance danced in your eyes, but a part of you couldn't help but react to his tone. Without wanting to, your body responded, submitting to the authority in his voice.
"That's right." He encouraged, a sense of satisfaction and ownership lacing his tone. "That's it, y/n."
The words both grated and excited you. There was a strange sense of satisfaction in obeying, but it only fueled the conflict in your mind. "Sunghoon...IâIm cumming, oh god Sunghoon, Iâm so close!" You were torn between seeking release and questioning if this was the right path to take.
"Good girl." He murmured with satisfaction, his voice filled with a mixture of possessiveness and encouragement. "Give it to me. Don't hold back."
The words left you breathless, a mix of frustration and arousal coursing through your veins. You felt both empowered and vulnerable, surrendering to his command yet fighting against the overwhelming rush of sensations coursing through your body.
After what felt like an eternity, you felt yourself reach your climax, your lungs gasping for oxygen as you pull your coaxed fingers out.
Your body trembled with the aftermath, beads of sweat trickling down your forehead. The air was thick with a mix of satisfaction and uncertainty. A heavy silence hung between you both, the weight of the moment palpable in the air.
Sunghoon observed you quietly, his eyes roaming over your disheveled form. There was a hint of a satisfied smile playing at the corners of his lips, but it was tinged with a trace of concern. "Are you okay, y/n?" He finally asked, his voice soft and laced with a hint of genuine care.
You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and satisfaction coursing through your veins. "Yeah," you manage to reply, your voice shaky but laced with a hint of vulnerability, "I think so..."
His words were slurred, a consequence of his intoxication, as he offered a simple, "Thatâs good y/n." There was a hint of detachment in his tone, suggesting that his judgment was clouded by the effects of alcohol. You couldnât help but recall your own inebriated state.
A pang of guilt washed over you as you considered both your and his altered states, a nagging feeling of regret settling in. The situation had spiraled out of control, fueled by alcohol and clouded judgment.
You were left hanging once again, the call abruptly ending without explanation. "Great," you thought, feeling frustrated at the abrupt cutoff. The silence that followed was deafening, leaving you with more questions than answers.
You sat there, confused and frustrated, the silence heavy in the air. The sudden disconnect from Sunghoon left you feeling a mix of confusion and irritation after what he just did, after what he showed you. Your thoughts swirled with unanswered questions, the sudden end of the call leaving you with a sense of ambiguity.
You couldn't help but wonder why he had ended the call so abruptly, leaving you hanging without a proper explanation. Questions flooded your mind, and uncertainty gnawed at your core. What had possessed him to do what he did? Was it just the influence of alcohol and his lingering feelings for you? Or was there more to this than what it seemed? You sighed as you put your shorts back on, pulling the covers over your body. Youâd just have to wait and confront him the next day at campus.
â
You found yourself anxiously entering the campus the next day, your heart pounding in anticipation of seeing him. Throughout the night, you had replayed the events of the previous evening in your mind countless times, wrestling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, you were upset by his actions and the unexpected ending of the call. On the other hand, you couldn't deny the complex mixture of arousal, nostalgia, and longing that had stirred within you.
Every step you took brought you closer to the possibility of encountering him, the idea both thrilling and nerve-wracking. As you navigated the bustling campus, your eyes scanned every corner and hallway, searching for a glimpse of him. Your mind churned with questions, wondering how he would react when he saw you, if he would act as if nothing had happened or if he would acknowledge it.
You spotted Kazuha and Chaewon, seated on a nearby bench. You approached them, wanting to inquire if they had glimpsed any sign of him around.
As you drew closer to the two, you saw Kazuha noticing you, her eyes lighting up with recognition. She nudged Chaewon, who turned towards you as well. A mixture of curiosity and excitement danced in their eyes.
"Hey y/n!" They greeted you with playful smiles, their voices carrying across the space between you. "What's up? You look lost in thought." Kazuha teased, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
You smiled back, feeling a sense of familiarity in their presence. "Hey guys," you replied, glancing between them. "Have either of you seen Sunghoon around? I need to talk to him."
They exchanged puzzled glances before Chaewon spoke up, "I thought you were over him... Something come up?" Her question was laced with curiosity and concern, as if she sensed a change in your feelings or situation.
You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "It's complicated," you admitted, your voice tinged with a mix of uncertainty and vulnerability. "We had a... weird encounter last night." As the words left your lips, you couldn't help but feel a knot tighten in your stomach.
Kazuha and Chaewon exchanged another glance, their curiosity deepening. They could tell that whatever had happened between you and Sunghoon had left you in a state of turmoil. "A weird encounter?" Kazuha prodded gently, her voice laced with genuine concern.
You responded with mild irritation, "Justâtell me if you saw him today." Although you tried to mask it with a casual tone, the underlying anxiousness in your voice was apparent.
The girls seemed to pick up on the tension in your voice. Kazuha replied after a brief pause, her tone cautious, "We did see him earlier. He was heading towards the library, I think."
Chaewon chimed in, "Yeah, he looked like he was in a bit of a rush though. Maybe he's busy studying or something?"
âOr maybe heâs spending time with that girl he made out with a few days ago..â Kazuha added in a teasing tone.
Your heart sank at the reminder, but you couldn't let your emotions show. "Right," you responded dryly, trying to maintain a facade of nonchalance. "Thanks for the info, I'll go check the library then."
The girls exchanged a knowing glance, sensing the hint of disappointment in your voice, but they didn't press further. "Sure, no problem," Chaewon replied, her tone softening. "Good luck."
You nodded in appreciation before turning and heading towards the library, your mind racing with mixed feelings. The image of him with that other girl resurfaced, stirring up a blend of jealousy and resignation.
As you made your way through the campus, your mind drifted between the desire to confront him and the fear of discovering a painful truth. The walk to the library felt longer than usual, each step weighed down by the uncertainty brewing within you.
The library loomed in the distance, its imposing structure a symbol of knowledge and tranquility. However, today it felt like a place of reckoning, where the truth might reveal itself. Your heart pounded in anticipation, the conflicting emotions raging within you as you pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The quiet surroundings engulfed you as you entered the library. The scent of books and silence hung heavily in the air. Your eyes scanned the aisles, searching through the labyrinth of shelves for any sign of him. The silence was broken only by the occasional rustling of pages and soft whispers from fellow students studying.
You moved through the rows of books, your footsteps muffled by the carpet. Each step brought you closer to the possibility of encountering him, and your mind raced with questions. Was he alone? Was he with that girl? Would he be willing to talk?
Your gaze followed the direction of your friends' glances, finding him sitting beside a girl who was quite attractive. The sight of his genuine smile didn't go unnoticed by you, leaving a subtle pang of jealousy in your chest.
You watched from a distance, observing their interaction from afar. Sunghoon looked relaxed and at ease next to her, a genuine smile gracing his lips. The sight of their connection stirred up a mix of feelings within you: jealousy, curiosity, and a hint of disappointment.
The girl was not only beautiful but seemed to effortlessly draw Sunghoon's attention, her every movement capturing his gaze. The laughter that occasionally escaped them added to your unease, each moment making the knot in your stomach grow tighter.
Why was it that every time you tried to move on, it didnât work? He left you without an explanation, said that he âdidnât know what to do,â and then last night.. last night is something you didnât ever want to think about at this point.
You couldn't deny the conflicting emotions swirling within you. The mixture of resentment, betrayal, and lingering feelings had left an ache in your chest. Seeing him so comfortable with someone new only amplified the intensity of those emotions.
As you continued to observe, a mix of conflicting emotions flooded your mind. The sight of him laughing and talking effortlessly with the other girl stirred up old feelings of resentment and betrayal. The pang of jealousy intertwined with a hint of disappointment, and the more you watched, the tighter the knot in your stomach twisted.
A part of you yearned for the days when you shared moments like that, when his laughter was reserved only for you. The sight of him finding happiness with someone else felt like a painful reminder of what was lost.
Before your thoughts could spiral any further, something caught your attention. Sunghoon suddenly stood up from his seat, his expression shifting as if sensing your presence.
Your heart skipped a beat as his gaze met yours, a mixture of surprise and wariness crossing his features. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you both locked eyes across the library.
There was a tense silence between you, the weight of your shared history and unspoken words hanging in the air. Sunghoon's gaze lingered on yours for a few moments longer before he slowly turned and walked towards you.
With each step he took, your heart pounded louder in your chest, the anticipation mingling with a hint of anxiety within you. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the quiet library as he approached you, his expression still guarded.
As he finally stood before you, there was a hesitant pause, an air of uncertainty hanging between you. "Y/n," he finally spoke, his voice tinged with a mix of nostalgia and trepidation.
The sound of your name on his lips sent a pang through your heart, stirring up memories from past times. You could feel the weight of his words, the weight of the history that laid between you.
"Can we talk?" he continued, his gaze searching yours for any hint of your feelings. "In private, please."
A scoff escaped your lips as you concluded, "I think I already know whatâs going on," indicating your suspicion over the situation. Without another word, you turned and started walking away, leaving behind your friends and the lingering uncertainty.
Sunghoon watched you walk away, a flicker of surprise crossing his face as you left without giving him a chance to explain. He hesitated for a brief moment, then swiftly turned to follow after you, determined to catch up.
As he caught up to you, he walked alongside you in a hurry, his steps quickening to match your pace. "Y/n... wait," he pleaded, his voice tinged with urgency. "Please, let me explain."
âExplain what Sunghoon?â you snapped as your eyes widened. "Explain that you disappear on me for two years, make out with a random girl, save me from Heeseung at the party, call me to listen to my voice so you can get off, and then go back to another girl right afterwards?" Your words hung heavily in the air, leaving him stunned, speechless for a brief moment.
Sunghoon was momentarily caught off guard by your outburst, his brows furrowed in confusion. "Wait, what girl?" He repeated, a hint of bewilderment in his voice.
"The girl that Chaewon and Kazuha saw you making out with a few days ago near campus!" Your words were laced with anger and betrayal, as the memory of his intimate encounter with someone else still stung your heart.
Sunghoon raised an eyebrow in confusion, responding, "What?? I never made out with a girl??" His denial carried a hint of disbelief, as if he couldnât reconcile your accusation with reality. "You know Kazuha and Chaewon arenât your real friends, theyâre just using you." His words held a warning tone, as if trying to open your eyes to something you had been oblivious to.
Your heart sank at his denial, the conflicting emotions swirling within you. You wanted to believe him, but the image of him with that girl still haunted you. "Why would they lie about something like that?" you questioned, your voice tinged with skepticism and hurt.
Sunghoon sighed, his expression softening as he looked at you directly. "Because they want to cause trouble," he explained, his voice laced with sincerity. "They know our history and they want to stir up jealousy."
Your uncertainty remained evident as you responded, "Okay... But then who's that girl over there?" You pointed out the girl he had been seated with, your gaze full of suspicion and curiosity.
Sunghoon followed your gaze before realization dawned on his face. "Oh, that's my cousin." He clarified, his tone a mix of understanding and surprise. "We were catching up, nothing more, nothing less."
A sigh of relief escaped your lips, feeling somewhat reassured that Sunghoon wasnât involved with the girl. Your voice turned shy and vulnerable as you asked, "Why'd you hang up yesterday night?" The question lingered in the air, seeking an explanation for his abrupt departure.
Sunghoon hesitated for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground before meeting yours once more. His tone was tinged with remorse, his voice softer than before. "I... I didnât want to take advantage of you while you were drunk," he admitted, his eyes searching yours hopefully for understanding.
You posed a straightforward question, seeking clarity, "So then why did you call me? Whyâd youâyou knowâŠ" The direct inquiry hung in the air, demanding a candid answer.
His gaze held a mixture of guilt and vulnerability as he replied, "Because I missed you... I missed your voice more than anything else. I wanted to hear it, to feel close to you even if it was just for a moment." There was sincerity in his tone, a hint of longing in his words.
You desperately wanted to believe his explanation, but the weight of his absence and avoidance for two years weighed heavily on your mind. Your words held a mixture of hurt and skepticism, "But you left for two years and were avoiding me the first couple of days..." Your statement bore the marks of lingering pain, reflecting your lingering doubts about his intentions.
Sunghoon flinched, the weight of your words clearly affecting him. He ran a hand through his hair, the gesture laced with frustration and impatience. "Yes, I was avoiding you," he confessed, his voice tinged with a touch of defensiveness. "because I was terrified of losing control if I saw you again."
The librarian, a stern and strict-looking woman, walked up to them, her eyebrow raised in irritation. "Excuse me, but you two are causing a commotion," she scolded, her voice stern and unwavering. "If you don't quiet down, I'll have to ask you to leave."
Sunghoon nodded, acknowledging the librarian's concerns. "Sorry, ma'am, we'll keep it down," he assured, his tone apologetic. He glanced at you, a silent plea in his eyes for you to comply.
You could sense the urgency in Sunghoon's gaze, his silent plea for calm and compliance. Reluctantly, you swallowed your retort and nodded. "Sorry," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper.
The librarian's stern expression softened slightly, seemingly satisfied with their response. "Good," she nodded, then glanced around the library, noticing the curious onlookers. "Now, please keep it low, or find someplace else to talk." With that final warning, she returned to her desk, resuming her watchful gaze over the library.
Sunghoon gave you a sidelong glance, a hint of amusement tugging at the corners of his lips. "Seems we've attracted some unwanted attention," he remarked quietly, the slightest hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
Your voice shook with anger and vulnerability as you protested, "This is not something you can just joke about, Sunghoon.â The pain and frustration were evident in your tone, indicating that his actions had deeply stung your trust.
His smirk faded as he caught the anger and hurt in your voice, realizing the weight of his actions. "I didn't mean it like that," he insisted, his tone softer. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
You felt conflicted. On one hand, you were still angry and hurt by his disappearance. On the other hand, his attempt to make light of the situation stirred up conflicting feelings within you. He always had a way of making you simultaneously frustrated and drawn to him.
Sunghoon glanced at the library, noting the watchful eye of the librarian. He knew they wouldn't get a chance to fully talk there without drawing more attention, so he suggested an alternative. "We can't talk here," he stated quietly, his gaze meeting yours. "Why don't you come over to my place?"
A subtle flush of embarrassment crossed your cheeks at his suggestion, the implication of being at his place causing a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. "Your...place?" you questioned, a hint of hesitation in your voice.
His response carried a hint of mockery as he retorted, "What? Youâve been there multiple times."
Your cheeks reddened even more at his remark, the memory of your past visits flooding your thoughts. "I know that," you stuttered, your voice betraying your flustered state. "But that was back then."
A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, realizing his words had flustered you. "So what? You scared?" he teased, his tone dripping with a hint of playful challenge.
Your eyes narrowed at him, a mixture of annoyance and stubbornness etched across your features. "Iâm not scared," you retorted, your voice laced with defiance. "Letâs just go, I donât have all day."
Sunghoon chuckled, amused by your stubborn attitude. "Okay, tough girl," he teased, falling into step next to you as you headed towards the exit.
The cool air hit your skin as you stepped outside, the sunlight casting a warm glow across the campus. As you walked beside Sunghoon, a mix of emotions swirled inside of you.
There was a faint sense of anxiety, curiosity, nostalgia, and even a hint of excitement at the possibility of getting some answers. The silence between you felt both comfortable and awkward, as if both of you were navigating through uncharted territory once more.
The walk to his place felt both familiar and foreign at the same time. The route, once well-known, now seemed slightly altered, as if time had altered the landscape of the memories that surrounded it.
You tried to push away the thoughts, focusing on the present, yet the weight of the past continued to linger in the air, an invisible presence that followed you both.
As you approached his building, memories flooded your mindâthe countless times you had come here, the laughter shared and secrets whispered beneath the roof of his apartment. It was as if the walls held the echo of your shared history, waiting to be stirred by your presence once more.
Sunghoon held the door open for you, gesturing for you to enter first. With a hesitant nod, you stepped inside, finding yourself surrounded by the familiar scent and atmosphere of his place.
The faint aroma of his cologne and the warmth of familiarity engulfed you, stirring up a mix of nostalgia and anticipation.
As you entered the living room, a palpable silence filled the air. It felt as if the room itself held its breath, suspended in the tension between the past and the present.
Sunghoon's footsteps echoed softly as he closed the door behind you, sealing the two of you inside. The sound seemed to amplify the gravity of the moment, the weight of unspoken words and unresolved emotions almost tangible.
You stood there, taking in the quietude, the air between you heavy with anticipation and uncertainty.
The silence stretched on, filling the void with unspoken questions and lingering memories. Sunghoon broke the quiet first, his voice soft and hesitant as he finally spoke. "Wanna have a seat?"
You nodded, your own voice barely perceptible. The room seemed to shrink around you as you followed his gesture, perching yourself on the couch adjacent to the one he chose.
The cushions dipped under your weight, a subtle reminder of the countless moments of comfort shared between you.
As you settled onto the couch, a wave of memories washed over you. The worn fabric, the familiar indentations in the cushionsâit felt like time had slipped away, leaving behind echoes of laughter, quiet conversations, and moments of intimacy. You tried to shake off the nostalgia, clearing your throat as you stole a glance at Sunghoon, sitting across from you.
The silence thickened once more, and you could feel his gaze on you. The air felt charged with tension, the weight of the unsaid words and lingering emotions hanging in the space between you. You took a deep breath, mustering the courage to break the silence, but before you could speak, Sunghoon's voice cut through, tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "Can I ask you something?"
Your heart skipped a beat at the vulnerability in his voice, the familiar sound stirring memories you thought you had buried deep within. You swallowed hard, nodding slightly, though you braced yourself for whatever question he was about to ask.
Sunghoon paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts, before finally posing the question that hung heavily in the air. "Do you hate me?" He asked, his voice tinged with a hint of insecurity.
The question struck a nerve, causing a pang of guilt to wash over you. You felt a mixture of defiance and vulnerability rise within you as you replied, your voice laced with a hint of defensiveness. "No. Not Really. What you did was still wrong though. Why? Have I not made that clear to you already? You disappeared for two years, Sunghoon. Two years." Your voice trembled, the pain of his absence evident in your tone.
Sunghoon nodded, his expression tinged with remorse. "I know," he admitted, his voice soft and sincere. "I messed up, big time. I was scared, confused, and I thought disappearing was the easiest way to deal with it at the time." He paused, his eyes locking onto yours, a silent plea for understanding etched across his features.
Your heart softened at his words, a pang of mixed emotions coursing through you. You wanted to be angry, but you couldn't deny the sincerity in his voice. With a sigh, you shifted in your seat, your defenses slowly starting to crumble. "Why were you so scared, then?" You asked, curiosity mixing with the remnants of bitterness in your voice.
Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture that revealed his vulnerability. "Because I didn't know if I could control myself around you," he confessed, his voice dropping lower. "I knew how much I still cared about you, how strong my feelings still were. I was terrified that if I saw you again, I would lose controlâlose my resolve."
Your heart wrenched at his confession. A mixture of relief and confusion swirled within you. His words both validated and stirred up old emotions. You swallowed hard, trying to steady your voice as you spoke. "And what about now?" You asked, your voice trembling. "How do you feel now?"
Sunghoon's gaze locked onto yours, his eyes glimmering with sincerity. "I still feel the same way," he admitted, his voice steady yet tinged with vulnerability. "I never stopped caring, never stopped loving you."
You clenched your teeth, frustrated by the emotions swirling within you. "Then why?" You voiced, your tone tinged with a touch of desperation. "Why come back after two years? Why now, Sunghoon?"
Sunghoon tensed, his shoulders visibly stiffening at your question. He could sense the vulnerability in your voice, the desperation for an answer, and it weighed on him.
He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I came back because I couldn't stay away any longer," he admitted, his voice tinged with remorse. "Being away from you... it was killing me. Seeing you from afar, knowing I could never truly be with you, it broke something inside of me."
You clenched your fists, a mix of pain and frustration rising within you. "Where did you go, Sunghoon?" You asked, your voice trembling. "Where did you disappear to for two years?"
Sunghoon flinched at your question, the weight of it hitting him hard. He could hear the pain in your voice, the desperation for answers. He took a deep breath before finally responding, his voice laced with a mix of guilt and vulnerability. "I went back to Korea."
Your heart skipped a beat, confusion and anger swirling within you. Korea? How could he just up and leave like that, disappear without a word, and then simply return as if nothing had happened?
Your voice trembled as you spoke, the hurt seeping through every word. "Why?" You pushed further. "Why Korea? Why did you choose to flee without a trace?"
Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair again, a nervous gesture that revealed his inner turmoil. His eyes seemed to search for the right words as he spoke, his voice filled with a mix of regret and vulnerability.
"I... I panicked, y/n," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was terrified of losing control, of the feelings I still had for you. I thought if I left, it would be easier..."
Your heart ached at his confession, a mix of hurt and confusion swirling within you. You tried to force back the tears that threatened to spill over. "Easier?" You repeated, your voice trembling. "Easier for whom, Sunghoon? Easier for you?"
Sunghoon's gaze dropped to the floor, unable to meet your eyes. He knew the pain and confusion he had caused. "Easier for me..." he admitted softly, his voice tinged with regret.
"I was selfish, y/n. I thought running away would make things easier for me, but I never considered the pain it would cause you. Please, let me make it up to youâŠâ
The sincerity in his voice tugged at your heart, his remorse evident. But you couldn't ignore the anger and hurt that still coursed through you.
"Make it up to me?" You repeated, your voice tinged with a mix of frustration and vulnerability. "How? By suddenly appearing in my life again? By expecting me to forgive and forget everything?"
Sunghoon's shoulders slumped, his eyes welling up with tears. "No... I don't expect you to forgive me, y/n," he confessed, his voice heavy with guilt. "What I did was unforgivable. But please, I'm begging you, just give me a chance⊠to show you how sorry I am, how much I still care about you."
Your heart ached at the sight of his tears, the vulnerability in his voice tugging at the strings that still connected you to him. But the pain and anger were too fresh, too deep. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
"A chance...?" You whispered, your voice trembling. "How can I trust you, Sunghoon? After everything you put me through, how can I trust that you won't just disappear again?"
Sunghoon reached out, his hand almost making contact with yours, but he stopped midway, remembering the boundaries he had created. He swallowed hard, the weight of your words settling heavy on his shoulders.
âYou can'tâŠ" he admitted softly, his voice laced with pain. "I don't expect you to trust me right away. But please, give me a chance to prove myself, to show you that I'm here to stay."
Your heart ached at his words, the sincerity in his voice both soothing and aggravating. You hated the way he still affected you, the way his presence stirred up feelings you had tried so desperately to bury. Hesitantly, you lifted your gaze to meet his, the vulnerability in his eyes piercing through the barrier you had built around yourself. "And what if I want to trust you?" You asked softly, your voice trembling with a mixture of hope and fear.
Sunghoon's expression softened, a glimmer of hope igniting in his eyes. "Then I would do everything in my power to earn that trust back, y/n, no matter how long it takes," he vowed, his voice tinged with sincerity and determination. âI love you, and I never stopped.â
The raw vulnerability in his voice sent a shockwave through you, stirring a mix of emotions you couldn't ignore.
Your mind warred with your heart, conflicting feelings pulling at you from every direction. "But what about us?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "Can we ever be... what we were before?"
Sunghoon leaned closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "No," he said softly, his voice tinged with honesty. "No, we can't go back to what we were before. We have changed, and so has our relationship. But that doesn't mean we can't build something new, something stronger... something better."
Tears welled up in your eyes, his words both soothing and aggravating. You hated how he could still make you feel so vulnerable, so weak in his presence. "I don't know if I can do this, Sunghoon," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I don't know if I can risk getting hurt again."
Sunghoon's expression softened, a mixture of pain and understanding etched across his features. "I know, y/n," he said softly, his voice tinged with remorse. "I don't blame you for being afraid.
I don't blame you for doubting me, after everything I put you through. But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm determined to prove that I've changed."
He closed the distance between you, his forehead gently pressing against yours as he murmured, "Let me show you, y/n, let me take care of you right now.." The tenderness in his tone made your heart ache, his fingers gently wiping away the tears that streamed down your face.
Your breath hitched at his touch, the warmth of his forehead against yours both comforting and overwhelming. Your body trembled slightly, the walls you had built around yourself crumbling, as he gently wiped away your tears.
You wanted to resist, to push him away and protect yourself from being hurt again, but the vulnerability in his eyes tugged at something deep within you. "How?" You found yourself whispering, a combination of fear and hope lacing your voice.
Sunghoon's gaze softened, a mixture of vulnerability and desire visible in his eyes. He reached out, his hand gently cupping your face, the gesture sending a wave of warmth through your body. "Let me show you," he murmured, his voice laced with yearning. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly leaned in, his lips softly brushing against yours in a tender kiss.
The touch was like a spark that ignited something deep inside, the weight of their shared history and the lingering chemistry between them undeniable.
As he deepened the kiss, his hand sliding to the back of your neck, pulling you closer, the world seemed to fade into the background. Your heart pounded in your chest, the intensity of the moment overwhelming as your bodies pressed against each other.
Sunghoon's touch trailed down your body, igniting a fire within you that was both familiar and foreign. The kiss continued, a mixture of longing and desperation fueling the connection between them.
His voice trembled with a hint of frustration as he confessed, "I missed your scent so much, y/n, it's infuriating..." His words carried a raw honesty, as if the absence of your presence had deeply affected him.
Your breath caught in your throat, his confession sending a shiver down your spine. The vulnerability in his voice stirred something within you, a pang of sadness mixed with an undeniable connection. "You did?" You whispered, your voice trembling with a mixture of surprise and longing.
He pulled back slightly, his fingers gently tracing your jawline as he met your gaze, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I missed everything about you," he admitted, his voice tinged with a hint of urgency.
"Your laugh, your smile, the way you would bite your lip when you were concentrating, your gentle touch, the way you fit so perfectly into my arms..."
Sunghoon's eyes darkened with desire as he leaned in again, his lips seeking yours in a passionate kiss. His hands slowly began to wander, exploring your body with a fervor that sent electricity through your veins. Without breaking the kiss, his hands slid under your shirt, his touch warm against your skin as he began to gently tug at the fabric, his intention clear.
As the kiss deepened, his hands continued to work, carefully undressing you with an urgency that mirrored the urgency of his feelings. Each piece of clothing fell away, leaving you both vulnerable and exposed yet completely lost in each other.
As the kiss continued, your hands sought him of their own accord, fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt, your desire to feel his skin against yours overwhelming any lingering reservations. Your touch was both demanding and possessive, a silent plea for the physical contact you had been deprived of for so long.
He briefly broke the kiss, his lips curving into a small smirk as he felt your hands tugging at his shirt. "Oh? Is someone eager?" he murmured playfully, the hint of teasing in his voice heightening your anticipation as his gaze met yours, a mixture of desire and challenge.
Heat rushed to your cheeks, your eyes meeting his with a mix of impatience and surrender. "Shut up," you retorted, your voice a mixture of embarrassment and desire. "Just take it off alreadyâŠwant it off Hoon.â
A low growl escaped his throat at your words, his hands immediately moving to comply, his own desire fueled by your eagerness. As his shirt slipped off, the sight of his bare chest sent a thrill coursing through you, your eyes drinking in the contours of his muscles, the familiarity of his body both comforting and exhilarating. He leaned back in, his lips capturing yours in a hungry kiss, your hands eagerly exploring the planes of his back.
Every touch intensified the emotions between you, the familiarity of his body igniting memories that fueled the desire coursing through your veins. Between kisses, he murmured, "I missed how you feel... missed everything about you..." His words, laced with the raw honesty of his feelings, only added fuel to the fire, intensifying the need for more contact. He began kissing down your neck, his hands roaming your body with a possessive touch, as if he were trying to reclaim what he had lost.
As his lips trailed downward, leaving a trail of hot kisses along your skin, your body responded eagerly, arching into him, seeking more of his touch and the physical connection that had been absent for so long. With every kiss and every caress, he seemed to unravel something within you, unearthing emotions and desires that you had tried to bury deep.
His mouth eventually trailed lower, a mix of hunger and reverence in his actions. As he moved lower, his hands slid down your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake, his touch both familiar and yet somehow new, igniting a sense of rediscovery between you. He paused briefly, his gaze locking with yours, wordlessly asking for permission and reassurance before continuing his descent.
Your breath hitched in anticipation, your body responding to every touch and movement, the need for him growing with each passing second. Your hands reached out, tangling in his hair as you gave a subtle nod, granting him the permission he sought. The intensity of the moment hung in the air, the bond between you stretched taut, yearning to be broken and rebuilt in the most intimate way.
As he continued his exploration, his hands gently caressed your skin, his fingers tracing patterns of worship that mirrored the thoughts and emotions swirling within him. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, his voice husky with desire. "I missed everything about you, how soft your skin is, how responsive you are to every touch..." His words were a mix of praise and reverence, a fervent prayer of appreciation for the body that had stolen his heart.
As he trailed lower still, his lips finding sensitive spots, he murmured between kisses, "I missed the way you taste... the sounds you make when you're lost in pleasure..." His compliments caressed your ears, igniting a fire within you both, the honesty of his words igniting a spark that only heightened your desire for more.
He took his time, exploring you with a mixture of reverence and urgency, his touches both soothing and exhilarating. His lips continued their journey, leaving a trail of kisses and compliments in their wake, each one a reminder of the depth of his affection. "God, I missed how you fit in my arms," he murmured, his voice cracking ever so slightly, "how your body responds to mine...how perfectly you fit against me."
His hands gripped your hips gently, pulling you closer as he leaned down, his breath warm against your skin. "I'll show you how much I missed everything you have to offer..." he whispered, his voice a mix of need and reverence. As he began to trail kisses lower, he murmured, "Starting with this...if you'll let me."
His touch was gentle, yet firm, a reassurance that he was still there, still wanting and needing you. He paused for a moment, looking up at you, waiting for permission, his eyes filled with a mixture of desire and tenderness. Your breath hitched in anticipation, the need for his touch coursing through you, both comforting and thrilling. With a small nod, you gave your silent assent, your hands instinctively finding their way to his hair, as if to draw him closer, to guide him deeper.
Sunghoon's gaze darkened, his hands moving in a swift, determined motion. In a single, possessive gesture, he reached for the hem of your skirt, pulling it off with a sense of urgency that mirrored the intensity building within him. The sound of it being tossed aside hung in the air, a physical reminder of the boundaries he was breaking, the barriers he was tearing down.
His gaze trailed upwards, taking you in, drinking in every inch of you. You could see the desire and hunger in his eyes, his pupils dilated, his own need mirrored in the way he looked at you, almost possessively. He reached out, fingers gently tracing along your exposed thighs, as if mapping out every curve and line, familiarizing himself all over again.
You could feel the heat of his touch, the way he caressed your thighs with a gentle yet deliberate touch, as if trying to memorize every inch of you all over again. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched him, your own desire mirroring his, your body responding as if it remembered every touch, every moment you had shared.
You bit your lip, silently begging for more, your fingers intertwining in his hair, a silent plea to bring him closer. âP-please Hoon..â you whimpered as you bucked your hips up unintentionally.
He could sense the desperation in your voice, the way your body responded to his touch. "So impatient," he murmured, a hint of teasing lacing his words, as his fingers continued to trace patterns along your thighs. "Don't worry, y/n... I won't make you wait too long..." The tone of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of playfulness and hunger that only fueled the fire burning within you.
There was a moment of stillness as he paused, his hands still resting on your thighs, as if savoring the anticipation that hung in the air. Then, without warning, he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin, sending a shiver of anticipation through you.
The moment came. His lips brushed against you, the sensation sending a rush of desire through your veins. You gasped, the heat of his breath against your skin, his hands firm against your thighs, holding you steady. And then he began, his tongue exploring you with a mix of familiarity and reverence.
Each touch was deliberate, as if he was trying to memorize the taste, the texture, the feel of you all over again. Words were lost now, replaced by the sounds of desire and satisfaction that filled the air as he continued, his every movement driving you higher and higher, your senses fully consumed.
Your mouth dropped open as he starts flicking his tongue everywhere, his hands keeping your thighs from closing. Tugging on his hair, you buck your hips up into his face again. âHoonâŠOh god..â
Sunghoon continued to explore you with a fervor that only grew with your every response. He could feel the grip of your fingers in his hair, the way your hips bucked up against him. The sounds of your pleasure only fueled his own desire, his hold on your thighs firm, keeping you right where he wanted you.
At your words, a low groan escaped his throat, sending a new wave of sensation through you, the feeling of his lips and tongue, the vibration from his voice, all mingling and building the blissful tension within you.
You couldn't resist, your body reacting like it had countless times before. Your hips bucked again, your fingers digging into his scalp, the need for release overwhelming. "MoreâŠPleaseâŠ" You pleaded, your voice desperate and pleading.
You could feel him respond, his tongue working harder, more urgent, driving you closer to the edge, each second bringing you closer to the release you so badly needed. âHoon.. Iâm so close..!â
You could feel him respond, his lips and tongue matching your pace, eager to bring you to release, his hands holding you tight, keeping your body where he wanted you. His eyes met yours, a silent promise that he would not stop until he had given you everything you needed. The intensity in his gaze only fueled your desire, your body on the verge of crumbling as he continued to drive you closer to the edge.
His movements were relentless, his tongue flicking in all the right places, hitting the spots that made you moan and gasp, causing you to tug desperately at his hair. Your words came more urgently now, almost a plea, as you teetered on the edge of release. "Hoon..I need you..please..!"
Sunghoon could hear the plea in your voice, the way your body reacted to his every touch, and he knew you were close, right on the precipice of release. There was a moment of pause, a brief respite that only heightened the tension between you. His gaze met yours, his eyes dark with desire, silently asking permission, seeking your consent.
Your eyes pleaded with him, your body trembling with need. "Please, Hoon.." you begged, your voice breathless. He nodded, seemingly understanding your unspoken words. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned in again, redoubling his efforts, his tongue working even harder, faster.
With a possessive grip, he shifted his hands, keeping your hips firmly in place, and as he continued his ministrations with his tongue, he nuzzled his nose into your clit. The added sensation, the feel of his nose alongside his tongue, sent a new wave of pleasure coursing through your core, setting your nerves on fire. The gesture was a claim, a reminder that every part of you was his, and the combination was almost too much to bear.
You could feel the heat building to an almost unbearable level, your body trembling on the brink of release, every fiber of your being focused on the sensations coursing through you. Your grip on his hair became desperate, your nails digging into his scalp as you tugged, as if trying to anchor yourself to the moment. "HoonâŠI think I'm gonna...I'm closeâŠ" Your words were a plea, a warning that you were on the edge, teetering precariously between ecstasy and release.
He could hear the plea in your voice, the way your body shook beneath his touch, telling him how close you were. Without losing a beat, he doubled down, driving you even closer to the edge, his tongue working faster, harder, with a sense of urgency that mirrored your own.
Your back arched, your hips bucking up into his face, desperate for that final push over the edge. The sensations were too much, overwhelming and all-consuming, and you could feel yourself teetering on the precipice, balancing on the edge of release. You panted, trying to form words, "Please, HoonâŠI cumming! Oh fuckâSunghoon!â
Sunghoon could sense your body reaching its limit, the tension building with every movement, every lick of his tongue. Your body was wound tight, trembling on the precipice. And then, with a final surge, he pushed you over the edge, sending wave after wave of pleasure crashing through you, washing away the remnants of doubt and uncertainty.
Your cries echoed through the room as you cum all over his tongue. He pulled back, out of breath as you could still see your liquids smeared all over his lips. âTaste so good y/n,â he groaned before connecting his lips back onto yours, his bulge pressing against your thigh.
As he kissed you, you could taste yourself on his lips, an intimacy that only heightened the connection between you. The feel of his bulge pressing against your thigh was a reminder of how much he wanted you, of the depth of his desire. You wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing him closer, as if trying to erase any distance between you.
The feeling of you touching him, palming his clothed rock-hard cock, was electric, making his breath hitch, a subtle sign of the effect you had on him. He groaned against your lips, his hips instinctively thrusting his hips against your touch, seeking more, craving the connection with you.
With that, he seemed to snap, his restraint crumbling, losing the will to hold back any longer. Without breaking the kiss, he swiftly lifted you up, carrying you with relative ease, his arms securely around you, as if he was afraid you would slip away from him again. In a few swift steps, he had you pressed against the wall, his body flush against yours, the intensity of the moment threatening to consume you both whole.
With a gasp, you felt the cold wall against your back, the contrast making your skin break out in goosebumps. You wrapped your legs around him Instinctively, seeking to bring him even closer, your body yearning for more, aching for the connection you had been deprived of for so long.
Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, your fingers finding purchase in his shirt, pulling him against you, as if you could never get close enough.
He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing ragged puffs of air against your skin, the warmth igniting a fire within you. His hands traced the curve of your hips, fingers gripping you possessively, as if to ground himself in the reality of the moment. With a low growl, he nipped at your neck, a silent promise that he would reclaim every inch of you, make you his again.
You tilted your neck to the side, giving him more access, a silent plea for him to continue, to make his mark on you, to claim you as his own. "Hoon, pleaseâŠ" You murmured, your voice a mix of desperation and need, your nails digging into the firm flesh of his shoulders. He responded with a low growl, his mouth exploring your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin, marking you, claiming you. âI want it..â
You could feel the intensity of his desire, his body pressed against you, the hard length of him pressed against your core, a reminder of how much he wanted, needed you. "Please, I need youâŠ" You pleaded, your voice a mix of need and desire, your fingers tracing the contours of his back, seeking more, begging for the connection that had been absent for so long. In response, he groaned against your neck, his hands gripping your thighs, hoisting you up higher, pressing himself even closer, as if trying to fuse together.
"God, I need you so badly, how can you drive me this crazy," he muttered, his voice husky with arousal, as he continued to mark you, leaving a trail of bruises down the column of your neck, his teeth grazing against your heated skin, making you shiver. "Please, let me, I can't hold back anymore! I need you inside Hoon!â
The desperation in your voice, the way you pleaded for him, only fueled his desire, his need to have you more urgent than ever. "I need to feel you," He muttered into your neck, nibbling slightly at the sensitive skin, the gesture sending a shiver up your spine. "Please, let me show you how much I missed you."
Your body was overwhelmed by the intensity of his touch, every caress igniting a fire within you, making you ache for more. "Yes, yes, please Hoon," you gasped, the need for him almost unbearable, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. With a low growl, he claimed your mouth in a passionate kiss, his tongue seeking entry, seeking to devour you completely.
He kissed you with a fierce hunger, his hands dropping to the waistband of his joggers, fingers hooking into the fabric. In one swift motion, he pushed his pants down, a silent command that spoke volumes about the extent of his desire for you.
Once the clothing was out of the way, he cupped your thighs, his touch possessive, as he pressed the length of himself against your core, his voice a deep rumble in your ear. "Feel that? How much I want you? How much I wanna ruin your tight little pussy?â
"Yes, Hoon, I feel it," you breathed, your voice ragged with need, your body arching into him. "I want it, please..." Your words were a plea, a desperate cry, the need coursing through your veins, making you ache for him in a way you'd never experienced before.
He could feel your desire, the way your body reacted, the ache for him evident in every movement, every gasping breath. With a low groan, he rocked his hips against you, the friction sending a jolt of pleasure through both of you. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, murmuring into your ear, "Tell me again, how much you want it, loveâŠ"
Your breath hitched as he rolled his hips against you, the sensation driving you wild. "I want it, Hoon, so badly," you gasped.
He could hear the need in your voice, the way you begged for him, it drove him even more wild. "How badly?" he murmured, his voice a low rumble, his lips brushing against your neck.
Your body responded to his touch, your fingers digging into his shoulders, pulling him closer, desperate for more. "So badly, so badly⊠please," you pleaded, your voice trembling, your body on fire with need.
With a growl, he gave you what you both needed, his hands gripping your thighs as he entered you with a single, firm thrust. "God, love, you feel so good," he groaned, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he started moving inside of you slowly, his hands trailing all over your body. âSo perfect y/n.â
The feeling of him inside you, the sensation that both filled you and left you aching for more, made you cling to him, your fingers digging into his skin, desperate for purchase, as you cried out. "Yes, yes, don't stop, please," you pleaded, your words a mix of need and desire as you pulled on his hair, feeling your tits bounce as he pounded into you relentlessly. âYou feel so good Hoon!â
Each movement, each thrust was like a spark, igniting a fire within you, burning away all the memories of the past, the doubts, and the fear. He was all that mattered, and you would have him.
He groaned into your neck, his movements growing more frantic with each passing moment, driven wild by the sound of your voice. "Harder? Is that what you want, love?" he breathed, his fingers gripping your thighs, hoisting them up higher as he continued to pound into you, slapping noises filling the room.
Your grip on his shoulders tightened, your voice breaking as you cried out, "SunghoonâSunghoon Iâm so close! PleaseâŠ!â
He could hear the desperation in your voice, could feel the way your body tensed, teetering on the edge of oblivion. "Hold on, love," he murmured, his voice ragged with his own need, "cum for me like a good girl, yeah?â
His words were a command, a plea, a promise, and that was all it took for you to release all over his cock. After one final thrust, you feel him gushing into your core. âFuck,â he groaned, pulling out to see a mixture of both your liquids spilling out of your cunt.
âS-SunghoonâŠâ you breathed out, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. âWowâŠâ
He held you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you, keeping you close. He didn't speak for a moment, just held you as he slowly caught his breath.
Then, after a few moments, he spoke, his voice a low rumble. "Wow indeed," he murmured, a hint of a smile in his voice, his fingers tracing lightly over your back.
"That wasâŠ" he trailed off, his breath still ragged, his body trembling slightly with the aftershocks of pleasure. "I missed you so goddamn much," he admitted, the words heavy and heartfelt.
He held you close for a few more moments before pulling back slightly, his gaze still locked with yours. He brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle. "Let's go get cleaned up, alright?" he said softly, his voice still a bit ragged, but with a warmth that made your heart flutter. You nodded, and with that, he guided you towards the bathroom, his hand holding yours tightly, as if he never wanted to let go again.
I love this so much
More Posts from Rikidaze and Others
CALCU-CRUSH! ⥠p. sunghoon
àšà§ SMAU! SYNOPSIS -âș Yeah, Park Sunghoon might be just a little annoying- but hey! at least he can help you get an A in AP CALC, and he will never a crush on you to make things super weird and complicated, right?
àšà§ PAIR -âș math tutor!sunghoon x chem nerd! y/n ft. jake and wonyoung
àšà§ GENRE -âș highschool au | àšà§ TROPE -âș idiots to lovers
àšà§ INCLUDES -âș idk man they're just idiots LOL
àšà§ REN SAYS... me when i don't want to write the written chapter for get better so i create a whole new smau because i finally have gotten around to doing smaus and text posts for enha also nae taught me how to add colors and i havent looked back ever since LOLL thank u user dioll !! alsoo the name is calculus but the lus is replaced with crush its not calc crush its calcucrush !!!!
àšà§ DONE!
PROFILES (powerpuff gals /// mathletes turned baddies)
01 ⥠bombed like the bathrooms
02 ⥠$300 on a kpop ticket
03 ⥠cognitive dissonance
04 ⥠holding hands in rugby stands
05 ⥠operation jacket around shoulders
06 ⥠WRONG JACKET ABORT MISSION
07 ⥠feelings? yea i still have touch
08 ⥠if you want to date her by 40
09 ⥠cured from stupidity sickness
10 ⥠he hits me (his girlfriend)
© all rights are reserved to mygnolia 2024. republished, translated, and/or heavily referenced work will be reported and removed immediately.
àšà§ PERM TAGLIST @dimplewonie send ask or dm to be added!
damn.
bed of lies ; park sunghoon
âł PAIRING: park sunghoon x fembodied!reader
âł SUMMARY: to prove to his best friend that he could get any girl he wants, park sunghoon makes a bet. within the next 30 days, he has to make the next girl that walks into the room fall in love with him. sunghoon, however, hadnât anticipated the feelings he would gain during those 30 days.
âł GENRE: fake relationship (kind of)
âł WORDCOUNT: around 40k
ⳠWARNINGS: alcohol consumption, cigarettes, cursing, angst, sunghoon has major mommy issues lmfao, smut; oral sex, handjobs, unprotected sex, fingering, making out, handjobs etc, minors dni!
âł TAGLIST: CLOSED !
â PART ONE release date : 8TH OF AUGUST, 4 PM CET
summary : making a bet with jay was easy. getting your attention, however, wasnât as easy; especially since you seem to have your eyes set on his bestfriend.
word count : 10,3k
â PART TWO release date : 15TH OF AUGUST, 4 PM CET
summary : you getting closer to jake was most definitely not on sunghoons list of things he expected to happen, but you making his heart flutter wasnât on that list either; yet you did. word count : 8,8k
â PART THREE release date : 6TH OF SEPTEMBER, 10 PM CET
summary : the time spent with you causes sunghoon to come the realization that he fucked up, and he fucked up bad. and thanks to jake, you also realize how badly sunghoon fucked up.
word count : 10k
â PART FOUR release date : 26TH OF OCTOBER, 1:25 AM CET
summary : sunghoon comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love with you and is willing to do everything in his power to show you that he has truly fallen for you, but are you willing to forgive him?
word count : 9.6k © svnoohe4rts 2022
CATFiSH â A NISHiMURA RiKi SMAU
iN WHiCH you and your friends have the great idea to catfish as the opposite sex to gain & prank some e-kittens. However, along the way you guys also gain some friends...who are also catfishing as the opposite sex?
PAiRiNG. non idol! nishimura riki x fem! reader
GENRE. smau, s2l, slightly e2l, online friends/catfishers (??) to lovers, rom-com
WARNiNGS. profanity, sexual jokes, kys/kms jokes, chronically online characters etc ... nothing is meant to be taken seriously in this fic and does not portray any of the idols irl !!
iNCOMiNG MESSAGE FROM LiZ. waddup waddup! im bringinf this smau back strictly for @elysianiki ma baby !! also guys omg the year is ending like like 49 days WHICH MEANS ITS GONNA BE ONE YEAR SINCE IVE BEEN ON BLR SOON!! that's insane ok anyway enjoy this fic haha i need to shut up & stop yapping ok baii ^_^
TAGLIST IS OPEN (send an ask or fill out this form to join!)
PLEASE DO NOT SPAM LiKE !
PROFiLES | one && two
CHAPTERS.
001 oh that's not...a bad idea actually!
002 am i #boba #keshi #valorant enough
003 bruh val duo kinda suck :/
004 wait im goated
005 CHAT IS THID REAL
006 more tba....
007 more tba...
008 more tba...
009 more tba...
010 more tba...
IEEEE THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!
MANEATER | SIM JAEYUN (M)
PAIRING: virgin!jake x yn (femreader)
SYNOPSIS: in which jake is tired of being a virgin and you're asked to help him out.
WARNINGS: smut so MDNI! vrignity loss, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe out there), creampie, riding, multiple orgasms, etc. cursing, words like slut/whore, BARELY PROOFREAD
WC: 5k, lowercase intended
MESSAGE FROM NIC: here it finally is!! (sorry for the delay) my first piece of smut,,, hope it's what everyone imagined đ (also tysm for 2k notes on the teaser ahh!!) big thank u to my stella, @karinasbaby for encouraging this fic, one of my biggest supporters ilysm. pls be kind as this is something new for me BUT feedback is super appreciated, tell me what u liked and didn't like! (respectfully) also reblogs would be nice as well so feel free to drop one. love u guys sm đ«¶đŒ
jake sim was a virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and itâs not like he was ugly. not even close to that. jake was an attractive guy, easy on the eyes. and his flirting? a real smooth talker he was.
it was as if 2000s chad michael murray possessed his very soul every single time he would chat up a girl at a party or in class.Â
so why couldn't he ever close the deal? how did he find himself in a steamy makeout session one second and then the next the girl is storming out of the room in disgust. every. single. time.
oh yea, because he was a fucking virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin.Â
it seemed like girls these days wanted a man in charge. someone who could help them live out their fifty shades of grey fantasies. jake would like to think he could do that for them but how could he ever learn if no one wanted to give him the time of day? what happened to the girls that would spread their legs for anything and anyone?
all jake needed was one chance. one chance to stick his dick in a hole and he can move on with his life.Â
his friends didn't make it any better either. he was getting tired of hearing all about their wild sexcapades every week and having nothing to contribute to the conversation.
but they donât intentionally leave him out or make him feel bad about his lack of experience. they even try getting him with their past hookups because you know, sharing is caring right?Â
âdude no way you fumbled sora. sheâs a real slut i was so sure she would let you hit,â sunghoon says as heâs unwrapping his sandwich then taking a bite. âbro i didn't fumble anything. it's the same shit every time, once i tell them im a virgin they dip,â jake responds while he steals sunghoonâs sandwich and takes a bite for himself.
sunghoon doesn't even argue, his best friend is clearly in distress and is need of some food. âshe started ranting about how she doesnt âdoâ virgins because they get attached and she thinks im gonna become obsessed with her or something.â
âwhy do you even tell them youâre a virgin in the first place? if that's the issue why even say anything at all?â heeseung questions with a mouth full of the same sandwich that somehow now ended up in his hands.
âbecause if he cums in .2 seconds then the girls are gonna think heâs a bad fuck. there's no winning here.â jake nods in agreement with jay's statement as he watches jay snatch the sandwich from heeseung and finish it off.
this is what is so beautiful about their friendship. they share everything with each other, the main things being girls and food. unfortunately for jake, bites of food is all he gets.
â-----------------
âoh fuck!â jakes pants while bucking his hips forward. vision blurry, drool pooling around the corner of his mouth. he genuinely feels like his soul is leaving his body and he wasnât sure this was even real life anymore. to ground himself and bring him back to reality, he tries looking around the room to find something to distract him.
he doesnât want to cum embarrassingly fast and he does NOT want to be seen as a bad fuck. out of the corner of his eye he spots a baby yoda squishmallow in the corner of the room, its sparkly eyes watching jake get his dick sucked for the first time.
itâs kind of weird but he finds comfort in the plushie and focuses on it to keep him from fucking exploding.Â
now you might be wondering how he got here. in a hot girlâs room getting what he swears is the best head in his life (not that he has anything to compare it to.) the answer is jay, his best friend in the entire world who he now owes his first born to.Â
âher nameâs yn. just text her and ask when she wants to meet. i told her you were a virgin already so donât worry about that,â jay explains as heâs scrolling through your profile showing jake what you look like.
silky, flowy hair, curves to die for. to say youâre gorgeous would be an understatement. the whole ordeal seemed too good to be true.
âshe wants to fuck me? even after hearing iâm a virgin?â jake asks after grabbing his milk tea from the counter and walking towards a table.
jay simply nods and throws a look towards sunghoon, signaling him to explain the rest as they all take a seat. âyea thatâs kind of her thing. she loves virgins. like, her body count consists of only virgins.â
jake was perplexed by the situation. surely heâd hear about a beautiful woman who only drops her panties for inexperienced guys roaming their campus.
heeseung then speaks up, as if reading jakeâs mind, âshe goes to the college in the next town over. around a 20 minute drive.â before continuing his sentence he shifts his eyes towards jay and sunghoon. eyeballs darting back and forth.
some unspoken dialogue is happening between the three as they sip their sweet drinks and jake just has to sit there and watch. minutes go by and jay clears his throat and sighs, finally breaking the silence.
âshe uh, actually took all of our virginities back in high school. thatâs how we know her.âÂ
pause. the fuck? he knew his friends all have gotten their dicks wet for the same girl before but at the same time? jake couldnât believe what he was hearing. i mean, he did only just meet them three years ago, whatever they were up to before then he canât judge.
he supposes desperate times call for desperate measures, and jake is sure he wouldâve ended up in the same situation soon if they werenât handing you on a silver platter to him.
âso⊠you guys had a foursome for your first times??â
heeseung instantly chokes on his boba as jakeâs arm receives a punch from jay. a faint giggle is heard from sunghoon, âthis bitch is choking on some balls.â
ignoring heeseungâs dramatics jay clarifies, âno you idiot, she took all of our virginities separately. we werenât as desperate as you were.â
âand like, that pussy is so heavenly. iâd be pissed having to share her with another guy at the same time.âÂ
âroger that, brother.â
jake looks towards the two, sunghoon rubbing heeseungâs back trying to calm him down from his almost near death over some balls.Â
âcare to elaborate?âÂ
âman why do you think weâre all sex crazed freaks? her pussyâs got some voodoo magic in it or something. our manhood didnât begin when we watched porn for the first time together, it started with her,â jay pauses and shifts in his seat, slight discomfort in his lower region.
he looks up and pinches his nose, âfuck iâm getting hard just thinking about it.â sneaking a peek at jayâs lower half, jake can see his friend chubbing it up in his pants. nothing heâs never seen before honestly.Â
but what he hadn't seen before was how his friends were reminiscing so hard on a hook up the way they were right now. and the fact that their origin story of discovering their high libidos is all because of you? he was scared shitless of what he was about to get himself into.
-------------------
fast forward to some exchanged texts between you guys, jake found himself in your room with his pants around his ankles getting the life sucked out of him.
he quickly discovered you were very straightforward and to the point, immediately sending him your apartment address and what time to show up.
jake couldnât argue though, all this talk about how you were gonna âchange his lifeâ and shit got him real worked up. he appreciated the fact that you skipped the small talk and went straight for his dick.
upon arriving and stepping into your living space, your lips smashed onto his and he was pushed down onto the bed. no hi, no hello. just your lucious, full lips swapping spit with his.
his hands instinctively flew to your waist, his digits gripping your plush skin as you straddle him. jake felt so in his element in the moment. making out? this is where he excels. he could do this all day if he could.
but he was here on a mission and heâll be damned if he leaves without fucking you. or you fucking him. he was honestly down for whatever. you could ask to peg him and he would say yes.
you can sense his impatience, his face twisting in pleasure trying to savor every moment while the cogs are turning in his head, awaiting your next move. every squeeze he gave signaled that he wanted to get things moving.
you make your way down his body, peppering kisses any and everywhere leaving his skin burning. jake couldnât believe what was about to happen.
in less than a minute he was about to get his first blowjob ever. what does he do? where do his hands go? what if he chokes you? what if he passes out from the stimulation?
before he can think of anymore what to doâs and what ifâs, your mouth is on his dick and jake is seeing stars, figuratively and literally. he takes note of the little ones taped to your ceiling and thinks itâs cute.
the pink walls and plushies surrounding the two of you is such a stark contrast to your personality, or what little jake knows of you. but hey, he likes a woman with some duality to her.
âyou can put your hands in my hair.â
jake finally takes a look down at you. pupils blown out, lips a bit swollen from all the sucking. you looked so, so pretty like this. he can only imagine what you look like with his cock in you.
trembling hands grab at your hair, slightly pushing you further down and a gagging noise emerges from the back of your throat. oh shit. your nose is practically meeting his pelvic bone and you arenât letting up.
fuck it, jake thinks to himself. he was done with being patient. he starts fucking up into your mouth relentlessly, chasing the orgasm he was delaying. and you just let him.
youâre merely a hole for him in this moment and you could care less. his dick may be average in size but the girthiness of it was so delicious, you couldnât get enough.
to make sure he reaches his high, you reach for his balls and start playing with them. his erratic thrusts combined with you squeezing his genitals he twitches in your mouth and his cum is shooting out, pooling out the sides of your lips.
and you donât stop there. you keep going and going and jake actually feels like heâs going to pass out. âokay, okay please please!â you swallow everything he gave you and finally let him go with a pop to come up for air.
you get up and see him lying there on your bed, unmoving. eyes closed and mouth agape barely taking breaths. one might think heâs dead but this was typical.
once a guy gets to cum in a girlâs mouth for the first time they donât know what to do with themselves. nudging him with your knee he breaks out of his trance with a lopsided smile adorning his face. god heâs adorable.
before you can suggest a break he immediately grabs you by the hips and flips you onto your back. your shorts go flying onto the floor behind him and he spreads your legs wide to prop them onto his shoulders.
his tongue immediately attaches to your clit and he starts licking you all over. slurping and sucking, as if this was his last meal on earth. he was desperate to get you to cum the way you made him and it was showing.
jakeâs eating you out a little too expertly to your liking, as if heâs done this a million times. you wonât judge if he has, youâre literally the last person to judge someoneâs sexual history but how is he still a virgin if he eats pussy this good?
he mustâve been met with horrible women who just used him for his mouth and left him dry. you wouldnât do that to him though, poor guy doesnât deserve that.
he inserts two fingers into your hole while his mouth was still working your clit. jesus christ. you didnât notice before but his fingers were so slender and long, reaching places your own didnât. âam i doing okay? kind of my first time.â
oh? so this was his first time eating pussy. you simply give him a nod of approval, not being able to utter a word as he dives right back in.
in all of your sexual encounters, never has there been a guy so willing to return the favor. and the fact that you didnât even have to ask? where the fuck did jay find a guy like this? was he aware his friend was a fucking certified munch?
determined to make sure you cum, jake inserts another finger and moves his fingers in an upward motion, trying to find your spot. at least thatâs what wikihow told him how to do it.
the sound of your moans and the taste of your pussy on his tongue simply feel amazing and he feels like he could come alone like this. at this point youâre panting and riding his fingers and god itâs so hot. youâre so hot.
jake finds himself humping into the mattress, trying to aid his painful hard on heâs grown since going down on you.
his wrist begins to ache with how fast heâs pumping into you but he doesnât give a fuck, heâll do anything to see what you look like when you reach your high.
âoh god, iâm, iâm- ahhh!â you come undone onto his mouth and hand, lips forming an o shape with the most pornographic moan heâs ever heard and he silently releases his load along with you onto the bed.
jake makes sure every single drop of your delicious juices are all licked up, driving your oversensitivity.
âso? how was i?â
you take a look at his annoyingly cute face and heâs licking all over his fingers like a lollipop. cute. gaining some of your composure, your eyes spot a wet spot on your sheets.
âwait, did youâŠâ
âoh. sorry about that. i couldnât help it.â jake explains with a sheepish smile and a scratch behind his head. not only is this guy a munch but he came untouched while tongue fucking you. you werenât even sure guys like him existed, like at all.
without speaking another word, you grab the back of his neck and smash your lips onto his. tasting yourself on him has you wet all over again and you both begin to undress each other.
you detach yourself to take your shirt off and he pauses to fully look at you, drinking in every inch of your body. hands grab at your boobs and he pinches a nipple, a small moan escaping your mouth.
your body was literally to die for, the pictures on your profile barely doing you justice. and to finally be able to feel all around your curves and give your boods and ass tight squeezes was a dream come true for jake.
(he may or may not have been jerking off to the few posts you have up, counting down the days of you guys finally meeting but you didnât have to know that)
you also took a moment to admire his body. to say jake was sculpted like a fucking greek god was an understatement, sporting a six pack and biceps to die for. veins running all over his arms and hands.
deciding itâs finally time to do the deed, you switch positions and motion for him to lay on his back. âare you ready?â
âwait! what about a condom?â
âiâm clean and i know you are soâŠâ
âright.â
you throw your legs over his waist, now straddling him with your vagina inches from his cock. âokay, take deep breaths. iâm gonna slowly go down alright?â
jake throws a thumbs up and eagerly nods. in a moment like this he doesnât fail to be endearing. you could literally just eat him up with how cute he was. your pussy was about to anyway.
you lace your fingers with his and slowly lower yourself onto him. thereâs some intimacy with your actions and jake finds comfort in your eyes, looking at him adoringly.
it was finally fucking happening and jake couldnât believe it. he was about to become a man. and the fact that it was you taking his virginity, a gorgeous woman who doesnât care that heâs inexperienced and lets him hit it raw. it's really all he can ask for.
once your walls are wrapped around his tip, jakeâs a goner. the little sweet moment you two shared is thrown out the window and he starts bucking his hips up into you, hard and fast.
his hands find purchase on your hips and heâs gripping them so hard you're sure there will be bruises tomorrow. you wanted to start out slow as it is his first time but it seems his thrusting says otherwise.
you press your hands against his chest and begin to move rhythmically in sync with him. jakeâs eyes immediately roll back and his breathing quickens.
his hands fall to his side and he lays lifeless beneath you, letting you take full control.
all he could do was stare at the spot where his dick entered you and it was making him even more hornier. he couldnât tell where he ended and you began.
your wetness didnât help anything either. the squelching sounds indicated that you were very much enjoying this as much as he was.
âfuck you feel so good baby,â jake moans. the pet name that slips past his lips and it doesnât go unnoticed but you also donât question it.
for some reason the simple word made your heart jump. guys always called things like babe or even whore when they really let loose.
those never got to your head, you know they couldnât really control themselves in the moment and you let them have their fun.
but jake has been nothing but kind to you this whole time, like he knew you were doing him a service and not the other way around.
this only fueled your desire to ensure that his sure first time exceeded his expectations so upped your menstrations. you quickly changed your pace to grind forward, backwards, and in circles making sure his dick felt every inch of you.
jakeâs mind was reeling, his breath caught in his throat. he feels as if his dick was about to fall off with the way you were moving.
your body leans forward and you begin to kiss at his neck, leaving hickeys everywhere. your hot breath near his ear sends him into overdrive, must be a sensitive spot of his he never knew he had, but also how could he have known?
his hands that were once gripping the sheets meet your ass and he starts to guide you up and down his cock. you both were about to reach your climaxes, your pussy clenching with every move.
âiâm- where? fuck! where do i cum?â
âinside. cum inside me please.â
inside?? his first time cumming from sex and you were gonna let him do it inside of you? jake swears you couldnât be any more perfect than you are right now.
you knew you threw him for a loop and honestly yourself as well. pushing these thoughts towards the back of your head you start riding him aggressively, even faster than before. âfuck, jake iâm cumming!â
âme too baby oh my god!â
and there was that damn pet name again. it makes your heart leap out of your chest and sends you over the edge.
the knot in your stomach snaps and jake follows shortly after, his load shooting into you. it pools out of you and you donât hesitate to swipe some up with a delicate finger and bring it to your mouth, mirroring his actions from earlier.
your eyes meet his fucked out ones and you smile down at him, admiring the masterpiece of lovebites you left all over him. his vision was a bit blurry but he catches the way your lips curled upward, flashing your pearly whites.
jake finds himself instantly becoming hard again, call him easy but when a pretty girl is smiling at him like that after fucking him, can you really blame him?
you move yourself off of him and jake was fully expecting you to kick him out now but instead you position yourself on all fours, your ass in the air inviting him in.
âfuck. youâre into anal?â
you turn your head sharply to look at him over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow to question what he just said. the look you give him says it all and jake takes the hint and positions himself behind you.
âcan we try anal next time though?â
an exasperated sigh leaves your lips and you reach over to grab his dick, inserting him into you. âumph! okay sorry.â
upon entering your pussy, jake relishes in the feeling of it. being inside your heat again leaves him breathless for the nth time today.
in and out. in and out. he tries to match his breathing with his gradual strokes. his member is extra sensitive right now and heâs trying not to lose himself. the impatience he had earlier has now moved onto you so you decide to take matters into your own hands and start fucking back into him.
your ass is now meeting his hips and the sound of skin slapping echoes in your room along with your moans. jakeâs body is flailing from the sudden impact but he grounds his hands around your waist and grips the shit out of you.
he notices bruises forming on your skin but he canât for the life of him let go. oops. heâll do his best to remember to apologize for them tomorrow.
when thereâs a good pace between the two of you, you fling yourself upward, back meeting his chest and the new angle has him reaching spots he didnât before.
you take one of his strong arms and place it around your neck, having him choke you as you ride him like thereâs no tomorrow. jakeâs brain begins to turn to mush and he feels like heâs even more turned on at the revelation of one of your kinks.
and at this point youâre fucking onto him so hard, so good, he didnât want it to end. âshit. shit. i love your pussy so much baby.â jake whines into your ear, meaning every word he said.
is it crazy to say you love someone upon meeting them for the first time? well, their pussy. yea. maybe. but who gives a fuck.
he was a man possessed by you, by your pussy. in this moment he truly believed there was some voodoo magic going on down there and he was blessed to be experiencing it.
you clench at his words, and your heart flips once more, prompting you to draw him closer to you (if that was even remotely possible)
the closeness of your bodies creates another intimate moment shared, kisses stolen from one another, hands tangled in his hair.
âiâm close,â he whispers in your ear, his breath leaving tingles down your spine. the hushed whispers you exchange contrast the sporadic thrusting thatâs happening.
determined to reach your second high of the day, you push jake onto his back and settle yourself onto your knees, continuing to bounce up and down on his cock.
âyea just like that baby, shit shit shit iâm cumming, iâm cumming!â
jake opens his eyes to watch the scene unfold before him and god was it something. your back arches as you take his cum in you once more and your screams fill his ears, signaling you orgasmed right after him.
this moment alone is better than porn itself, and jake savors every bit of it. thereâs absolutely no way he can even bring himself to type ânsfwâ in his twitter search bar ever again after this.
you hover yourself over him leaving just the tip inside before sliding right back down, pushing his seed back in while it gushes around his cock leaving jake wanting, no needing, a third round with you.
but to his dismay you roll yourself off of his body, landing on the mattress next to him.
âso⊠how do you feel?â
he releases a long exhale he didnât know he was holding, âfantastic. 10/10 experience. would do it again.â you simply giggle at his response with a shake of your head, getting up to gather your clothes.
âwait! um, could we do this again?â
you playfully roll your eyes at him, leaving his question unanswered as you begin to dress yourself.
â-----------------
sat in his computer chair, jake is finding it difficult to finish this stupid ethics assignment. how is he supposed to argue about the death penalty when you straight up almost murdered him with your pussy less than 2 hours ago?
heâs sure his professor wouldnât appreciate if he wrote that he doesnât give a fuck about someone serving their punishment if the culprit was you, but honestly speaking heâd let you get away with just about anything. you were an angel sent from above to him who could do no wrong.Â
the way your soft lips wrapped around his cock while your innocent (not) eyes bored into his soul. the way you licked and kissed every single inch of his body, leaving nothing left untouched. and god, the way you worked his dick? how was he supposed to move on from you??
you were an insatiable, sex-crazed goddess. a once in a lifetime experience he was so grateful to have.Â
his thoughts are interrupted by a loud knocking at his door. two seconds later, jay trails into jakeâs room followed by dumb and dumber, all of them having a snug look on their faces.
they make themselves comfortable before they get right into the interrogation. jay leans against the desk, sunghoon sits in the bean bag situated in the corner, and heeseung sprawls himself across the bed.
âso virgin, how was it?â
 âwasnât i right about her pussy?âÂ
âwhere did she make you cum?âÂ
eyes rolling in the back of his head, jake takes a deep sigh before answering their questions. âone, iâm not a virgin anymore so stop calling me that. two, it was absolutely fucking amazing. literally would give up heaven for it. and three, she had me cum in her. twice.â
heeseung shoots up from his position, jaw dropped and eyes wide. âyou came in her twice?!â the boys all share a bewildered expression on their faces, dramatic as always.
jake just shrugs at them, what? didnât you usually let guys cum in you like the freak you were?
jay slaps his hands down on jakeâs shoulders, aggressively turning the computer chair towards him. âjake. buddy. yn has two rules.âÂ
sunghoon suddenly appears on jayâs left, âone. you canât cum in her. you can cum anywhere BUT inside of her.âÂ
heeseung follows and is now on jayâs right side, âand two. she doesnât repeat fuck.â
immediately following this revelation thereâs silence. complete and utter silence. the gazes they hold are intense and uninviting. as if they truly couldnât believe you let their best friend whoâs never felt the touch of a woman break one of your rules.
their eyes say it all, they love jake to death and are happy for him, like seriously happy and relieved heâs finally entered manhood. but really? none of them got to do what he did? what was so special about him?
you donât even know the answer to those questions yourself. maybe it was the puppy eyes or his whiny moans that made you feel like you had him in the palm of your hands.
his eagerness to pleasure you but to also receive reminded you of the sole purpose of why you only go for virgins. they made you feel wanted while also letting you be in charge. call it selfishness but why canât a girl have the best of both worlds?Â
and youâd never admit it, but jake was one of the best fucks youâve had in a while. he never tried to be someone he wasnât, just authentically himself. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and he was proud of it.
it was refreshing to fuck someone who didnât have some sort of ego right after you were done with them. immediately bragging to everyone what you two did and acting like they could pull any girl as if you werenât doing charity work for most of them.Â
with all of this in mind, of course you let him cum in you. he was doing so well for you, how could you not reward him? had to let him do it twice to drive it home.
and seriously, what kind of guy gives you a tender, sweet goodbye kiss and thanks you for defiling him? you didnât regret your decisions with him but they were definitely scaring you.Â
never have you ever been this intimate with a guy, but jake was different. you felt it. and what you did next didnât scare you as much as your recent choices with him.
*ping!*
the staredown between jake and his friends comes to a halt and he digs his phone out of his pocket to check it. sliding up, he sees the message appear on his screen:
you: are you free tomorrow?
he glances at his friendsâ expectant eyes and throws them a smirk. looks like he gets to break that second rule of yours.Â
© fakeuwus 2024 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize
TAGLIST: @alvojake @jaylaxies @ikeuverse @pprodsuga @criminalseung @slut4hee @wonuqrtz @sansluvr @juniorjuneper @hoonven @sunshine-skz @luvyouloser @cha0ticpisces @no-daddy-just-issues-148 @hoseokteardrop @jakehooni @minniejenseo @niniissus @capri-cuntz @simpjay @chansloverr @esloao @strawbrrycuteblog @enhaslxt @vveebee @sakanelli-afc @felixbrownies @yunjinswifee @bobaikeu @minaateez @river-demon-slayer @sjylouvre @nyxtwixx @wonderlandless @eddieeddiesblog @moon4moony @skzenhalove @na-x2 @binniesbabe @monstaxdirtywonk @lauover @iheartjayke @jwsflower @notevenheretbh1 @rik1zzluv @ang0308 @kpopaussieline @jaehyuniewifeu
đ'đđ đđ đđđđ đđđđ đđđ !
đŹđźđŠđŠđđ«đČ. after spending a little too much money on genshin due to his gacha addiction, riki is banned from playing genshin for a month. during this time he's introduced to identity v courtesy to his friend lee heesung who is an avid player of the game. in the game he meets a girl who he believes is the love of his life.
đ©đđąđ«đąđ§đ . student!riki x fem!reader : gamer!riki x gamer!reader
đ đđ§đ«đ. smau, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers
part of the [ đđđđđ đđđđ đđđđđ ! ] series
AUTHOR'S NOTE : this is my first time making something like this so please be patient with me! i would appreciate any tips and help given cause i don't really know what im doing most of the time... IF ANYONE ELSE PLAYS IDV OMG PLEASE BE MY FRIEND đ i need more friends that play idv that likes kpop at the same time qwq
NOW PLAYING . . . i'll be your rank duo!
â IDV rats âĄáŻ âĄâ GAGW âĄáŻ âĄâ extra info âĄáŻ âĄâ gameplay â
001. competitive games are hell
002. delete geisha from the game
003. i hate newgens
004. i love merc mains
005. what's a sui?
006. never play batter again please
007. you are NOT spiderman lil bro
008. where did all your money go?
009. a new rank duo!
010. even luca luck can't save you
011. mark's favorite
012. cafe meetup
013. loser riki allegations?!
014. oh dude he's flirting!
015. loser ways
016. best duo couple!
017. you guys make me SICK
018. get this lovey-dovey shit out my tl (end)
019. my favorite moments with you (special chapter/extra)
taglist. @honeychocos @who-tf-soddhi @wonsboo @rikisgeef @cinnabells @jiiyen @manaah02 @kozumesphone @chiaki-nanami-aesthetic @vixialuvs @roarr-ki @mars101 @ddolleri @doublebunv @rikikiynikilcykiki
(bold can't be tagged)
â ASK OR COMMENT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST
âËïœĄâàšâ§à§Ë đđđđ đđđđđđđ đđđ đđđđđđđđđ đđđđđđ ! Ëàšâ§à§âïœĄËâ
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë texts w/ bf!jungwon
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë like it when i call you daddy
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë two of a kind
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë take a chance with me
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë secrets (teaser, will post the actual fic when its published, stay tuned :3)
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë punishment
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë he was a fairy
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë love novel
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë cupidâs conflict
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë birthday boy
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë haru yo, koi
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë its over (& over)
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë as long as it takes you
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë in my head
â ËïœĄâౚà§Ë cant feel my face
finally figured out how to make the dividers like that lol, and thank you for supporting even tho i take days on posting (im busy:.)) also if you have any suggestions, PLEASE LET ME KNOWW. like should i start writing again ok maybe no im traumatized, but feedback, reblogs, and hearts are all appreciated! have a great day :3 âšâš
yang jungwon fic recs!
â the language of flowers - @soobnny (jungwonâs just every bit in love with the student council president who keeps visiting his flowershop OR in which you find solace in a flowershop, and its ownerâs grandson finds solace in you.)
â GARDENING CLUB MASTERLIST - @snowbabys (you heard jungwon isnât one of many friends, a silent and closed guy, and itâs not a surprise when he barely blinks in your direction when you join the gardening club. it is a surprise when he starts to show interest in you and does anything to be close.)
â âŁïž âŻâŻ youâre mine . - @goldenhypen
â infrunami - @jennaissantes (PROMPT: âfixing their tieâ)
â LOVE NEWS ! â YJW SMAU - @hanniluvi (BREAKING NEWS! valentineâs is right around the corner, yet you still had no partner. you didnât think too much of it, you probably thought it was just another year where youâll be single again. not a big issue at all. however, your favorite gossip account proves you wrong! what if you find out someone actually likes you? after gathering all the hints youâve been given, you narrowed your list down to one person. that one person ended up being yang jungwon, one of your crushes. thereâs no way, one of your crushes actually liking you back? will you believe itâs just fake or actual love news?)
â ADMIRING YOU ! - @hanniluvi (You've never had good luck with dating. You just couldn't seem to make it work. You were led to believe that was how things would always be. You had no idea but, Jungwon, one of your classmates has been crushing on you for a long time. But because you are you, you never paid attention to him in class. After seeing him staring at you for a time, you finally identify him as a barista at the aroma cafĂ©. Will anything ever change for you? Will you be able to establish a committed relationship at last?)
â nice to meet you, boyfriend!â⥠â y.jw - @delcakoo (when a strange man approaches you at the grocery store, you call for your "boyfriend", who has just cluelessly entered the store, unaware of his new relationship status with you, a complete stranger. hopefully he plays alongâŠ)
â scaring a guy away - @delcakoo
â cat boy - @jaeyunverse (yang jungwon is pissed his cat likes you more than him. or, in which jungwonâs cat plays cupid and sets you up.)
â iâm your cat, meow - yang jungwon - @en-dazed (in which jungwon is jealous of a cat)
â classmate au | yang jungwon - @soobnny
â Baked with Love - @demusewriter (You once dreamed of having your bakery where everyone could use it as a safe refuge from reality, similar to the shop from your childhood. It seems to work as one of the famous boy groups uses it to hang out to temporarily escape the spotlight, especially by one member who seems to be fond of the place.)
â in my head - yjw - @j1nniee (youâve hated jungwon ever since you two met on the train to hogwarts back in first year; heâs self-centered, lazy, and always coming out for you. now in your seventh year, youâve been named head girl (woohoo!). unfortunately, the head boy position was given to the one and only yang jungwon (boohooâŠ). with no other choice, youâre forced to face the annoyingly attractive boy and work with him for the rest of the year - if you can even last that long.)
â A PIN STRAIGHT TO MY HEART - @snwpcktz (the famous decelis academy confession board is where students pin their written feelings on an anonymous sticky note in hopes of their crush reading it. for y/n, this is the perfect opportunity to finally come to terms with the feelings she has for her classmate--yang jungwon. she has everything planned out, from the color of the sticky note she would be using (blue, it's jungwon's favorite color) to the location she would pin it on the board (smackdown in the middle of the decorative heart the student council put up for valentine's day ages ago). but what happens when y/n sees jungwon pinning his own confession note mere seconds before she planned to?)
â â attractive things jungwon does ⚟ - @aakomii
â super shy - yang jungwon - @en-dazed (jungwon isnât used to having company when heâs studying - especially when the company is one of the most popular girls in school)
â âĄđ START NOW ! - @loveywon (you and jungwon never really got along, but one morning you're in bed with him and you both don't recognize the room that you're in.)
ê° THATâS YOUR BOYFRIEND? ê± â nishimura riki
SYNOPSIS. itâs been three months since you met your now, online boyfriend, riki. heâs so sweet, matches your humor, but you have yet to see his face. your friends see this as a major red flag but you know riki told you he is just shy. due to this your friends joke that you could very well be dating a catfish. but what happens when riki finally sends you a picture of himself and your friend reverse searches the image to be ni-ki from enhypen?
PAIRING. idol bf! nishimura riki x fem! reader GENRE. smau written est. relationship crack fluff NOTES & WARNINGS. faceclaim haneul kiof kms/kys jokes profanity + warnings for each chapter
đŻïž EXTRA PENG NOTE. this is my first smau so hopefully itâs funny & no posting schedule !
this is in no way a reflection of any of these idols !! SPAM LIKING RULE STILL APPLIES !! plz donât spam like chapters it will get you blocked.
PROFILES ; meowzers enhypen
CHAPTERS ; ( subject to changes )
00. sheâs so beautiful 01. stop negativity 02. omg what if heâs british 03. iâd love to meet you soon ( + written ) 04. when did riki get cuffed ? 05. omg rcta king 06. heeseung from enhypen 07. invading enhatwt 08. he wants to meet ?! 09. On my way! to die ( + written )
ON HOLD . . . TAGLIST IS CLOSED.
AGAINST THE TIDES â P.SH
SYNOPSIS: Growing up, youâve only had one best friend that you would call your family. Park Sunghoon. He was your partner in crime, your best friend, your ride or die, he was everything. You and him did almost anything and everything together, practically attached to the hip, and that included swimming too. As years passed, you and him both turned out to be outstanding swimmers that had a promising career ahead. All was well until one unforgettable day that broke your lifelong friendship, turning it into anger and hatred instead. With the Olympics coming up, you had unexpected news about Sunghoon joining your team. Worst of all, you had to work alongside him for the mixed medley relay event. One dream, one goal, a childhood wish you and him shared, will that be successfully achieved when you and him could barely bear standing next to each other?
PAIRINGS: pro-swimmer!sunghoon x pro-swimmer!afab!reader
GENRE: childhood friends to enemies to lovers, sports au, angst, romance, slow burn, forced proximity
WARNING(S): mentions of drinking/alcohol, profanities, (lots of) miscommunication
WC: 28k
PLAYLIST: suburban legends by taylor swift, heartburn by wafia
AUTHOR'S NOTE: after 4 months of not posting, i've vomited out 28k for y'all! i hope you guys will like this one and do forgive me for my lack of swimming knowledge helpp, i tried with my years of swimming! please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx
masterlist | © jaylver 2024 all rights reserved
Was it possible to wake up from a dream that happened to be your reality?
Standing in the national aquatics training centre, the swimming pool where you've practically resided was glistening under the bright lights. Contrary to them, you were anything but bright, a sudden dread befalling your expressions.
Coming into your first day of the three months long and last training before the Olympics, you were anticipating for it to be a peaceful, fun day that would end with your muscles aching. However, the moment you stepped onto the training ground, being the first to reach, your coach had already decided to break a rather dreadful news.Â
"Come on, Y/N, it's nothing too bad," Jeon Jungkook, your young coach that retired early from competing and also the reason for your countless success, was trying his best to reassure you. It wasn't working.
"Not 'too bad'? Being in the same national team with him is already a sight for sore eyes to me. Now you're telling me I have to train with him under you? Together?"Â
Your coach was rubbing the side of his head, the early morning and the shrillness of your voice wasn't a favourable pairing to him. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but if it wasn't for Yeonjun's sudden injury, he wouldn't have to be replaced for the mixed relay,"Â
"Well, if only he didn't get drunk and fell off his bike," you muttered under your breath, never once taking account that this would be the consequences you were suffering from his actions. That was until this moment.Â
There came a sigh coming from Jungkook, his arms were crossed and he was resting his weight on one leg. "I know you and him don't get along, but I've discussed this with Coach Kim and we thought that if I replaced Yeonjun with him, it's the best decision. Plus, both of you are Olympic medallists, having two star swimmers in a team isn't all that bad,"
You were silent, stubbornly keeping quiet at the fact that you knew he was right. Of course he was, he's been your coach for years, he has his ways of choosing his words correctly when it comes to you. He knew of your drive to win, the hunger to win gold and nothing else. With a cold, hard fact that Jungkook had slapped onto your face, you had no choice but to consider and forcefully accept.
"You two have history together. Years of history. There's chemistry whether or not you like it. Period," Jungkook waved his arms around, smiling at you as if trying his best to make you feel better. "There's one thing you can't deny. Winning. When there's winners, you mix them together, then what do you get? Medals,
"So, I'm begging you, Y/N. Put up with Park Sunghoon for a few months, another few rounds at the Olympics, then we're done, he'll be back at Coach Kim. Alright?"
"Butâ"
"End of discussion. Go change up, I'm sure the others will be here soon, including Sunghoon, so you better not throw a tantrum," he pointed his finger at you, wagging it at you accusingly to which you responded with a discreet eye roll.
"Yes, coach."
Even in the locker, you found yourself mulling about at the thought of training with Park Sunghoon again. That name itself has sent you waves of chills countless times.
Park Sunghoon was your childhood friend. Having been your neighbour since birth, your mothers were naturally the reason why you were even friends in the first place. You were barely five when your mother placed you in the local swim club for training, then not long after, Sunghoon joined too.
Your lives mainly revolved around two things. Swimming and each other. Basically, you and him were inseparable. You shared the same coach as him even after entering your teen years. Whether it was the swim club or the youth national team, there was nothing anyone could do to separate you and him in terms of swimming or every aspect in general. Hell, you and him both specialised in the same stroke as well, breaking out into the scene to be the best prospects, earning a reputation for yourselves swiftly. Your friendship itself was known by all too. 'Star swimmers', that was what people called you and Sunghoon.
That was until a particular Wednesday in 2018 that made your nearly sixteen years of friendship with him crumble into ashes.Â
"I'm switching coaches. I'm switching clubs."Â
You remembered it clearly. It was just after nine o'clock at night when you were done showering, ready to leave and head home with Sunghoon. Yet, his words echoed in the silence of the training centre then.
"What?"
"I just don't think it's working out,"
"Sunghoonâ" you never once called his full name unless it was a serious situation, "the Youth Olympic games is literally in a week. What are you even saying?"
"I don't want to lose anymore, Y/N. Do you know it feels like working my body till the point of breaking just for me to get beaten by someone better. I need to get better," his composure was breaking, you could tell, the clenched fists by his side was turning white.Â
Your eyes widened at the tone of his voice, but your frown only deepened at his words, nothing was making sense to you. "You're jeopardising the team!"
"I've discussed this with the coaches, I've got permission from the higher ups,"Â
"You're ⊠you're selfish," you said slowly, unable to speak any longer at the shock of his sudden news. "You never bothered to discuss this with me either,"
"I don't need to,"
"So, you're disregarding our friendship altogether? We promised to tell each other everything!"
"Oh, grow up, Y/N. We were six when we said that, this is different. We're different now,"
In that split second was when a hard realisation hit you. He changed. It was almost as if the person that he once was had died overnight, revealing someone new that shared the same physical traits. Was it the results of the last competition you had days ago that made him turn into this? You never knew him losing would've affected him this badly. That was one thing about Sunghoon, he was never outspoken about his feelings and thoughts.
"You're right. You're no longer the person I know."
That was the last time you ever had a conversation with him face-to-face. The change was drastic. One day he was walking home with you and the next he wasn't even in your life, barely acknowledging each other at competitions. It was legendary, but it was momentary. To say it has taken a toll on you was an understatement. If it wasn't for your mother's consolation, you wouldn't have shown up for training and eventually won at the Youth's game.
Six years. Six, long miserable years of ignoring each other.
The year you were called up to the senior national team was the same year that he did too. It was evident that there was tension between you and him, there was no need for a second look for someone to determine that. You knew rumours were bound to fly, it has been ever since your split with him.
You hate to admit that what he did was right too. Since the day he changed coaches and clubs, he has been improving and climbing higher. Gold was the only colour hanging around his neck at almost every competition he was in. Maybe you were the selfish one after all, secretly wishing he never left in the first place because you were scared of losing him. Well, who knew the fear in that moment turned into your instant reality? Seeing his success only made you bite back on your words of calling him selfish.
The first Olympics you attended in Tokyo was an experience to say the least. Winning two silver and one bronze, your hunger for gold only grew bigger. Everyone in the team had expected either you or Sunghoon to bring back the gold medal, but none of you did, and by then, there was an unspoken rivalry that started from the moment people placed their expectations on you and him.
Three years later in the present day, you couldn't believe he was becoming your teammate and training under the same coach again. Crazy how things could change in a blink of an eye, huh? Your main concern, however, wasn't facing Sunghoon, but whether or not he'd fit into the relay team with only three months of training and no prior experience.
"Well, if it isn't the Y/N L/N being the first to arrive as always," The sound of your teammates' heavy footsteps entered the locker room, Yujin's voice in particular echoed through it, entering your sight at once. "How have you been?"
"Great, been living and sleeping in the pool," you snickered sarcastically, patting Yujin's back in greeting. "I heard you took a long break from your club after the championships,"
"I did, and my muscles are dying to touch the water,"
"She caused a lot of ruckus at the club for that," Yunjin joined into the conversation after setting her bags down, nudging her club and national teammate. "I'm glad we're all back, three months and then Paris, isn't that a dream?"
"It definitely is. I can't wait for the Eiffel tower," Yujin smiled with a dazed look, you and Yunjin only exchanged a silent glance at one another.
"Not the gold medal?"
"That too,"
"I see where your priorities lie,"Â
"Whatever," she waved her hand at your response, reaching for her swimsuit. "Anyway, did you hear the news from coach?"
"I did," you wrapped your towel tighter around your body, the cold prickling at your skin now that you were in your swimsuit.Â
"You don't seem very happy," Yunjin pointed out as she changed into her swimwear, it was then when you became aware of the frown on your face. "The guys are excited,"
"I'm trying to be happy," you grumbled. At this point, there was no hiding the previous history you had with him, almost everyone knew about you and him, the star athletes since teen years had suddenly stopped interacting, obviously that would catch people's eyes and turn into gossip.
"Didn't you have some ⊠fallout with him before?"Â
"You know about it?"Â
"Y/N, I hate to say it but the whole nation's swimmers are probably aware of it," Yujin walked up to you and passed your goggles to you. "Word spreads fast even during the youth training camps, but I'm sure there's a reason behind your fall out with him, we won't pry,"
"I'm a little curious though," Yunjin added, throwing her towel around her shoulder, unaware of Yujin's pointed glare at her bluntness.
"It's quite petty really, I'm surprised you never heard it from any of my club teammates," you pressed your lips into a thin line, shifting your stance uneasily. "He wanted to leave the club before a big competition, I mean, I get where he's coming from, but I was hurt that he didn't tell me beforehand. I thought it was unfair, we were friends for so long. We said some hurtful things to each other, and things were never the same after," your heart unknowingly tightened at your inner thoughts about the whole fight, telling the story years after made you reflect on it with regret.Â
"Do you forgive him?"
"If it meant having my best friend back, I would, but I don't know if he feels the same as I do."
Walking out of the locker room took a huge amount of courage and strength for you to not turn around running. The thought of seeing and interacting with Sunghoon pained you to a great level. Not because you hated him, but mainly the awkwardness and tension that was hard to rid.Â
You saw the rest of your teammates by the pool, Anton and Juyeon were too engaged in their conversations to realise Yunjin running up to them with her arms wide open. "Boys!" She engulfed the three men in her arms, startling them and almost had them falling back into the pool.Â
"Gosh, you're never going to stop doing that, aren't you?" Anton patted Yunjin's arm, smiling at his senior as she let go.Â
"Never,"Â
The two men greeted Yujin first before turning their attention to you, straightening their spines and giving you a salute. "Y/N,"
"Hey guys, doing good?" You gave each of their shoulders a pat in greeting, receiving firm nods from them as a response. They took the chance to immediately bombard you with questions about your practices and competitions, sharing their own stories about what they were up to as well.
"Y/N, I heard someone's going to snatch your spot in the mixed relay," Anton, the backstroke swimmer and your mixed relay teammate, was referring to Sunghoon's addition to the team. Your endless worries about Sunghoon becoming your teammate had you forgetting about the thing you should actually be worrying about: your position.
"Like hell Y/N is going to give up her spot easily," Yujin came to your defence with her arms thrown around your shoulder. "Isn't that right?" She turned her head to look at you, poking your cheek with a finger.
"What I'm saying is, Y/N could potentially fill in for Yeonjun's spot too. She's also a breaststroke specialist and Sunghoon's last win in the championship was him breaking the world record for freestyle. I'm just saying maybeâjust maybeâthis combo would be something exciting,"
Yujin, the butterfly swimmer in the mixed relay team, frowned slightly at his argument, though debatable, she didn't seem to think the idea as fit. "The second leg is usually swam by men, it'd be a disadvantage to have a woman swim it. Based off the statistics, it'd be a shit show of a strategy,"
"I'm afraid she's right," you shrugged, heaving a deep sigh at the struggle your team was facing before training even started. "There's no way coach would do that,"
"Then is Sunghoon supposed to really swim the second leg?"
"Duh, who else? He got picked specifically, out of many other people, to replace Yeonjun, I'm sure there's a reason behind it," Yujin gave your shoulder a light squeeze. "Not to mention, he's got a reputation for being a good breaststroker too,"
"Right, he got second place in Tokyo, didn't he? Just like you did, Y/N," Anton's gaze landed on your rather sullen face, the memories of Tokyo where you found out you won the same amount of medals in the same categories as Sunghoon came flying back into your mind.Â
The thought of it was laughable, how were you still telepathically connected with him from then up until this moment. It was your childhood with him to blame at the end of the day. You were the one to influence him and made him fall in love with your two favourite strokes: freestyle and breaststroke. Who knew you would land yourself in a position where you potentially had to fight him for your position?Â
"Y/N will always be our freestyle master in the last leg, okay? No competitions needed. Our first training together will speak for itself," Yujin glanced at you briefly, checking up on you after your momentary silence. You gave her a smile, reaching for her hand that sat on your shoulder.Â
Soon after, the distant sound of your coach's voice slowly became louder as he approached closer. He was talking to someone, the second voice obviously belonged to the person everyone was waiting for, the addition of a star swimmer into the team instantly raised your teammates' expectations and hopes. Everyone else in the room were giving each other knowing glances at the anticipation of Sunghoon's arrivalâexcept for you.Â
You were holding your breath, mentally counting down the seconds while the footsteps of your coach and the person who was once your best friend were nearing. Every one of you instinctively lined up in a row as always, awaiting Coach Jeon's arrival.Â
You didn't dare to blink. Lo and behold, Park Sunghoon entered the room with your coach by his side, the strong presence of an Olympic medallist and world championship winner filled the room. It was hard to deny that his presence alone was influential.Â
"Morning, everyone. As you may know, we'll be having a new additionâor replacementâto the team. Everyone please welcome Sunghoon,"Â
Following his words, there were enthusiastic claps with a sprinkle of shouts from the guys. Sunghoon was trying his best to keep up with the overwhelming atmosphere from his new teammates, most of which were familiar faces considering they were all from the national team, the only difference was the coaches they train under. That was until now.Â
You were standing to the far left, furthest away from the center where Sunghoon was. Were you a coward for avoiding him? That was partially the truth, but all those years of ignoring one another, brushing past each other at every national and international competitions, you weren't the only one at fault. He was also a coward that claimed he was a lion.Â
Jungkook patted Sunghoon's back in encouragement, giving the latter a push for him to introduce himself. "Nice to meet everyone, I'm Park Sunghoon. It's my first time training with you all, so I'm apologising in advance if there's any mistakes made on my part. I hope we'll be able to get along well and bring home some gold medals from Paris,"
The team erupted in passionate cheers and applause from Sunghoon's self-introduction. It was clear everyone shared the same goal: a gold medal at the Olympics.Â
"Alright, so I think everyone already somewhat knows each other, am I correct?" Jungkook looked between Sunghoon and his group of swimmers, both of which nodded and responded with a chorus of 'yes'. "How about a fresh introduction? A friendly way to warm up to one another,"Â
'Friendly' was one way to put it and he was definitely directing it at you.
Juyeon, who stood on the furthest to the right, started his introduction first. "I'm Lee Juyeon, butterfly swimmer, we met at the youth championship before,"
"Right, we did, nice to see you again, man," Sunghoon and Intak shared a firm handshake before moving onto Anton. The introductions were all brief, but there were also friendly gestures exchanged. Not long after, you were the last and only one left to introduce yourself.
If you could describe the exact moment Sunghoon met your eyes for the first time in nearly six years, it would be suffocating, and it was in the worst way possible. The warmth and familiarity that was once in those brown irises happened to be gone and lost with him when he saw you. You didn't know how to react, just seeing the hostility and coldness from him that you wished wasn't real was enough to beat you down.
"I'm Y/N L/N. I hope we can win a medal together in the mixed relay," you stayed rooted to your spot stubbornly, not bothering to exchange at least a handshake with him unlike your teammates. It seemed he reciprocated your feelings.
His stoic expression never once faltered, but it was his eyes that spoke louder than words needed to. Amongst the coldness of his gaze, there was an unmistakable shock and longing that he hid well enough for you to not fully catch onto. "I hope so too."
Ignoring the weird tension that lingered around the room between you and Sunghoon, you started your usual routine off along with your teammates. Long hours and many laps of endless swimming was about to be your reality again. The worst part of all was the strength training that was yet to start.Â
The excruciating nine hours of never ending swimming soon ended around the evening and your first day was finally done. Neither you nor Sunghoon crossed paths or interacted, maintaining your bliss and ignorance that would bring you peace.Â
"Are you just going to ignore him until his last day?" Yunjin was drying her hair, staring at you with an accusatory gaze.Â
"Yeah, I guess?" You shrugged, packing up your bag that you slung over your shoulder, flashing Yunjin an indifferent smile.Â
"I don't think that's a great idea, Y/N. We still have the mixed relay to consider, there's no way you could just go radio silence on him when it's a team event," Yujin made her way into the changing room from the shower just in time to listen in on your conversation, seemingly disapproving at you and Sunghoon's behaviour towards one another.Â
"What am I going to do? He doesn't even want to acknowledge me,"
"How about you try making the first move?"
"Over my dead body," you murmured, hating the fact that you and Sunghoon's past conflicts were stagnating the team, yet your ego was not ready to confront him. Nope, never.Â
"You're so stubborn," Yujin grumbled, shaking her head in disapproval. "He's equally stubborn. God, I can't believe I have to put up with these hot-headed, stubborn people, give me strength, please,"
"It'll be fine. As long as I keep my distance and he keeps his distance, nothing will go wrong," you slapped Yujin on her back, earning a doubtful look from her that you responded with an earful smile.Â
"I highly doubt that," Yunjin chimed in, hoisting her backpack onto her shoulder, ready to leave as well. Yujin turned to share a knowing look with her.
"Me too."
All you could do was roll your eyes, not daring to respond because you knew, too, that you couldn't fully promise that you'd stick to your words. It was impossible to predict what would happen in the next few days, let alone three months. The non-existent interactions with Sunghoon for six years couldn't prepare you for what he was like currently, and for that reason, you were scared.Â
That night, alone in your bed, you couldn't take your eyes off the picture frame sitting on your dressing table. It was a picture of you and Sunghoon at the ripe age of thirteen, holding onto your gold medals with the biggest smiles right after a competition. Who would've known in a few years time since then, you wouldn't even be able to stand next to him.Â
How you wished those childish smiles would make its way back to you and Sunghoon, standing next to each other with a gold medal again.
A week has passed since the day Sunghoon first started his training under your coach.Â
Safe to say, you kept your distance from him and so did he. Neither of you managed to exchange a single word or a single glance that lasted more than a second. It might've been a natural occurrence for you to have some sort of 'cold war' with Sunghoon, but to the others, they felt a little awkward having to be part of it.
For the second week of training, the part that you enjoyed most became dreadful to you. The mixed relay training was inevitable with Sunghoon's presence as a first timer to the group. More practices were implemented by Coach Jeon in order for Sunghoon to adapt and grow familiar with the general rules around mixed relay medley.Â
"Doing good?" Anton was the second to arrive after you, standing next to you by the pool. He had probably noticed you staring into the pool, letting your thoughts drift away.
You snapped out of your daze, blinking in surprise at him until you realise who you were talking to. "Whâyeah, I'm fine,"
"You're not nervous for our first training together as a team, right?" He attempted to lighten the mood, bumping your shoulder with his.Â
"No," you scoffed. That was a lie. You were nervous, and masking it up wasn't exactly a great way to deal with it. "It's just any other training,"
"Be honest, you were probably mad when you heard about Yeonjun's stupid accident, weren't you?" Anton took a seat on the starting block, staring up at you with a pair of big doe eyes.Â
"Mad? Not exactly. Maybe annoyed? Concerned? A little bit of everything," you frowned, remembering the message sent in the group chat the week before training started. 'Can't turn up to training, fell down my bike and broke my ankle' it was unforgettable. "Why?"
"I'm just a little disappointed it's not Yeonjun swimming the second leg. He's one of the strongest breaststroke swimmers,"
"Weren't you excited about Sunghoon's arrival?"
"Well, it's a no brainer I'm excited, Sunghoon's a great swimmer, but he's not exactly Yeonjun. Thinking about how sudden everything is, the changes and having to adapt to them, I'm just worried it'll affect the team's performance,"
Your gaze softened at the younger boy's truthful confession. If you had to be completely honest, you were worried about the team's future performances as well. Having so little time to adjust and letting a replacement take up a crucial swimmer's role was bound to cause doubts.Â
"We'll be fine," your voice was firm with determination. "The future's unpredictable anyway. Who knows what will be the result of this lineup?"Â
"Do you know how great of a motivational speaker you are?" Anton smiled at your words, the worries that filled his eyes were blinked away. "Also, what's up with you and Sunghoon? Are you guys always like ⊠this?" He proceeded to make some gestures with his hands.
Here it is. That topic.Â
The real question should be: when were you never like this with Sunghoon?
You shrugged, directly lying to his face a second time. "It's complicated. Let's start our warm up, shall we?"
That was enough to divert Anton's attention away from the question he originally brought up, successfully dodging it until the others arrived and started their warm ups as well. Yujin, in particular, was overwhelmed with excitement to start her part of the relay, hoping to beat her own personal record.
"Were you always this excited for training?" You looked at Yujin with an eyebrow raised, watching as she stretched her limbs carefully, a cheery expression on her face.Â
"I think my break made me realise how much I missed the water," she kneeled down to touch the surface of the pool water with her finger, a little habit of hers before competitions that she grew to have.Â
"How's the temperature?"
She stood back up, straightened her spine, a wide grin spreading onto her lips. "Absolutely perfect."
Once the warm ups were officially concluded, Yunjin and Intak were sent to other lanes in the pool to start their individual training, whereas you and your remaining teammates were listening intently to the coach's every word.
"So, we start our first practice today. Together, as a team, a new team. Let's see what's the time recorded for each leg, improve the handoffs and perfect your individual time. Anton, you'll go first,"
Anton fixed his swim cap right after that, walking towards the starting block while the team dispersed to wait for their turn. You stood beside Yujin, Sunghoon only inches before you. It was hard concentrating on Anton and his start, barely registering the sound of the whistle blowing. He was so magnetic it was almost obnoxious.
"Hey, new guy! Got the rules down?" Yujin directed her words at Sunghoon, catching him off guard. He turned around, an impassive expression was his first response to Yujin. His eyes flickered to you for a split second, quick enough for you to barely catch onto it.
"I have," he answered shortly, seemingly frozen from Yujin putting him into a spot out of the blue.Â
Before returning his focus back onto the pool ahead of him, he stole a haste glance at you for the second time. It was barely a second's worth of his eyes on you, not even an acknowledgement. You couldn't explain it. Why were you ticked off by him?Â
"Sunghoon, get ready!" Coach Jeon shouted from the other side of the room, glancing between his stopwatch and the pool. Sunghoon stood on the starting block, fixing his goggles in place. "Now!"
The moment Anton's fingers grazed the pool's wall, Sunghoon dived into the pool perfectly, all eyes were fixed on him now. The swimmer that created history, broken records, set a standard for new generations of swimmers, was proving why he was labelled a national treasure.
He was quick. How was that even possible? Breaststroke was one of the slowest strokes in swimming and yet he made it seem as though it was the easiest to swim. Yujin was next, her excitement was apparent in her swim and aggression. The butterfly stroke and her perfect posture had her resembling a mermaid.Â
It was your turn to stand on the starting block, preparing for the exact second Yujin finished her lap. Your heart was beating against your chest, adrenaline was suddenly coursing through your veins. The time was ticking, Yujin was coming closer, and with one touch to the wall, off you went into the pool, the cold water engulfing you whole.
The first inhale of air filled your lungs to its maximum capacity. You could feel a sense of buzzing on the tip of your fingers, the muscles of your legs were working to its limits. You felt great.Â
Your flip turn was quick and perfect. Everything was going right for you. The way your legs and arms were working in sync, your breathing technique had improved, all of these being factors to your best swim yet. The stopwatch was halted once your tips touched the wall, finally getting the chance to get your head out of the water and breathe deeply.
"54 seconds!" Coach Jeon called out, a satisfactory grin plastered on his face. "Good job," he clapped his hands, throwing up a thumbs up at both you and your teammates. âGet a short rest, Iâll be with the others then weâll resume our training together,â
A chorus of âyes, coachâ travelled through you and your teammates, all of you watched as he walked to the other side of the pool where the others were training, then breathed a collective sigh of relief. Yujin came forward to help you out of the pool, wrapping a towel around you while patting your back.
"Good swim,"
You smiled at her, placing your hand on her waist. "You had a good swim too,"
"What a swim, L/N!" Anton, who stood next to Sunghoon, yelled at you as you and Yujin approached. You snorted at his enthusiasm, giving him a thumbs up in response. The man to his left, however, remained impassive just as his face displayed almost to no emotions regarding your performance. Not that you needed his validation anyway. You met his eyes, his unwavering stare bore into you, it was as if everyone was awaiting for his comments.Â
"You didnât swim at your best,"
His words were as cold as his voice, piercing into your heart without a space for you to recover or register what he meant. What did he mean? There was a sudden edge to the atmosphere around the group, a thick air of tension surrounded you and him in particular. âWhat?â There was no need for him to repeat what he just said, but it was almost unbelievable as an alien invasion to you.
âYou werenât swimming at your best,â Sunghoon repeated firmly, his stoicness never once faltering. Your dignity, on the other hand, was withering.Â
âWho are you to determine whether or not Iâm swimming at my best?â You took a step forward, your footstep heavy on the ground. He stayed rooted to his spot, chin held high while your narrowing gaze pierced through his skull.
There was a pause where a momentary silence filled the air. Neither you nor the rest of your teammates dared to speak. The man before you was expressionless, it was nearly hard to read him or his thoughts, only seeing the steady rise and fall of his chest, whereas yours was in a frenzy.âI know you,â
He might as well have just shot you in the face. Those three words were as hard as bullets were, causing you to almost lose your footing and tumble over, but somehow, you managed to stand your ground. Out of the many things he couldâve said, this was the least you expected. You had wished he wouldâve lied and insulted you rather than speaking the inevitable truth. Frankly, it was the same for you.Â
âYou know nothing about me,â you seethed out, nostrils flaring out of indignation.Â
Sunghoon scoffed, turning his head to a side for a second before looking back at you, a fire lighting up in those cold eyes of his, melting into a fiery pit of rage. âYou can cuss me out or insult me all you want, but the biggest insult you could ever throw at me is disregarding our past. I know you, itâs simple as that, and I can tell youâre not swimming to your fullest,â
You couldnât form an immediate response, because you were stunned and stuck in an endless cycle of thoughts, thinking if what he said was actually true. What if ⊠you truly werenât swimming at your best? Were you holding back? The only thing you could bear to thank Sunghoon now was for feeding into your self doubts.
âYouâŠyouââ
âOkay, cut it out guys,â Anton came to stand between you and Sunghoon, shielding your line of sight and you felt an odd sense of relief that Sunghoon couldnât see your crumbling state. There was no way in hell you were turning vulnerable right in front of him, nor were you going to lose the fight to him. Knowing how stubborn either of you were, if Anton hadnât cut into it, you mightâve been there for longer. âQuit fighting, I swear. I know thereâs tensionâhell, I can feel itâbut can you two at least act like you can tolerate each other? If you two act like this even in Paris, what will the press write?â
Anton was right, he was always right. You hated how youâve allowed your emotions and past consumed you when it came to Sunghoon. The person who was once your strength had turned into your weakness, your flaw. Everything had been fine until it came to him, it has been so ever since six years back. Now, you were reliving it all over again.
âIâm going to get some air,â Sunghoon announced, sparing one last glance at you before turning his heel to leave, the water from his body left wet footprints on the floor.
Yujin and Anton turned to look at you, the unmistakable look of shock on their faces. They were seemingly as helpless as you were, but they were more likely experiencing much worse being stuck in the middle of you and Sunghoon. âIâm sorry ⊠for that. Iâll go for a dip in the pool.â
They watched as you made your way back to the starting block and in the next second, you had already jumped into the pool, starting another lap again. Yujin and Anton stared at one another, matching frowns etched onto their worried faces. There was a wordless exchange as if something had clicked in their minds from just one knowing look.
âWe need to find a way to get them to reconcile.â
One month into training and there was nothing that could be done to make the two star swimmers return to a civil relationship. In fact, the space between you and Sunghoon had only grown bigger ever since the small rift that made everything go from bad to worse.
It had gone to a point where Coach Jeon had to give both of you a lecture, almost begging you and Sunghoon to work together for those few short months. To him, it mightâve truly been a âfew short monthsâ, but to you? It was a hellish period of time to be reckoned with.
You could tell everyone was trying to push you and him together, but you and him were just like magnets with the same poles, repelling each other no matter how much effort was put into getting you and him close. There was once when your teammates had strategized to purposefully have you and Sunghoon sitting side-by-side, yet to their surprise, your hatred for one another gave you ways to make any efforts fail. For that dinner, each of your chairs were pulled far enough to create an obvious distance, not one glance was even spared between you and him.
Then came a Saturday, a weekend off for the team and an opportunity for everyone to go out for drinks. It was the perfect time to let go and relax for a short moment, but to your teammates, it just so happened to be a perfect setting for their plan: get Sunghoon and Y/N to diffuse their hatred.
âWhy is everyone always at my place when we get ready to go out?â you grumbled, picking up your dirty clothes that were scattered on the floor to make way for Yunjin and Yujin, their hands full with clothes and makeup.
âItâs a tradition now,â Yujin pressed a kiss on your cheek, laughing at your unimpressed frown. âItâs a once in a blue moon type of thing! We should make the most out of tonight, we donât know when weâll have another day off after this,â
âThatâs right,â Yunjin said, placing her dress onto your bed, next to yours that was laid carefully to avoid wrinkles. âItâs time to drink till we break.â
That wasnât exactly how you wished your night to go. You and the girls met up with the guys at the entrance to the club, having to squeeze your way in and hold onto each other tightly to not lose your way. It reminded you why you never had an active nightlife apart from the routine you had as an athlete. The club reeked of alcohol, sweat, smoke and many other things, none of them were good.
The moment you got to settle into the booth, you finally got a clear view of everyone. You, Yunjin and Yujin were dressed in almost matching tight dresses, the only difference was the colour, the length and the existence of shoulder straps. Anton and Juyeon were sporting collared shirts, while Sunghoon wore a black button down shirt, his hair gelled up to reveal his forehead.
There was no mistaking his straying eyes, but he wasnât the only one, you were equally guilty. You tried to reason it with the excuse of pure curiosity, yet you found yourself stealing more than one glance. By then, you knew it wasnât something you could easily deny.
Juyeon leaned his body against the table with a serious expression that he had whenever he set the rules for the night every time you had a night out. âOkay, so the rules for tonight, no leaving on your own, unless you send a text. No going overboard until you do crazy shit that will get your name on the headline,â he paused, scanning the group. âLastly, no becoming Yeonjun and break your bones,â
There was a chorus of snorts and laughter at the slight dig at Yeonjun. It was a joke, but the chances of it happening wasnât entirely zero. âGot it!âÂ
The group soon dispersed, some were headed straight to the bar, some were off to the dance floor and some had stayed in the booth. You and Yujin had stuck together, sitting on the high stool at the bar, heads propped onto your hand as you stared at each other. There was a wordless breath of a sigh between you and her, it seemed that neither of you needed to verbally communicate to know what the other was thinking. You held your shot glass up to clink against hers, and at the same time, you downed the shot down with Yujin.Â
The feeling of the alcohol burning your throat was something you didnât miss, yet it was what you needed at that moment. âThat was good,â you muttered, hearing Yujinâs laugh as a response to your comment. âIf I wasnât an athlete whose health gets scrutinised, I would be drinking at every minor inconvenience,â
âYouâd be an alcoholic at that point,â Yujin shook her head, a faint smile adoring her sharp features. âWhy? Is the pressure getting to you?â
âNot exactly. I donât think about those things, I never do,â you watched as the bartender filled your and Yujinâs shot glasses once more. âIâm thinking about Sunghoon,â
Yujin straightened up at that, her body leaned close to yours, an inquisitive raise of her eyebrow met your eyes. âSunghoon? You? Thinking about Sunghoon?â
âNot about him per se, but you knowâusâour past, itâs affecting the team and I hate it. I hate that I canât do anything about it,â
âYou can? You can just make things even with him,â
âEasier said than done. We canât see eye to eye. I mean, do you think itâs easy to befriend your ex best friend that you had beef with?â
âWellâŠno,â
âExactly,â you said, followed by downing another shot out of your glass. âItâs hard to even speak to him without him glaring at me, how am I supposed to go: âhey, letâs be BFFs againâ,â
âBut donât you want to try and mend things? At least end the bad blood,â
You stared at your shot glass, your fingers grazing against the mouth of the cup, a sad smile making its way to your lips. âI wish I could, but Iâm afraid the damage is worse than I had imagined.â
Drowning your sadness in shots after shots was an equation for disaster, and that was exactly what you had done. Excuse the liver damage, your current concern was your emotions that were bound to spill out of its seams. An emotional drunk, that was what you were as depressing as it sounds. The thought of Sunghoon and your ruined friendship was the cherry on top to it all.
âHe hates me!â you slurred, your face buried in your hands after four shots of tequila. âI donât even know how it turned out like this ⊠how it turned into this,â
âY/N, youâre drunk,â Yujin moved your shot glass further from your reaching hands, causing you to frown deeper at that. âNo more, okay? Youâll regret it in the morning,â
âIâm used to regretting things, just leave me be,â you pouted at Yujin, but she was firm and final in her decision in cutting you off alcohol for the night. âSunghoonâŠâ you murmured before the alcohol fully set in and your head collapsed onto the table, absolutely blacking out.
âOh God.â
Yujin returned to the booth with you slumped against her. She thought the amount of weight training she had endured was finally worth it for having to put up with your drunk self. The rest of your teammates had returned to the booth, empty cups were littered around the table, the only sober ones there were Yunjin and Sunghoon, who was trying to peel Anton away from his body. He glanced up in time to see Yujin approaching with you being supported by her. Â
Yunjin stood up and rushed to Yujinâs side to help her with you. âIs she okay? Iâve never seen her this drunk,â
âI should be asking the same about Anton and Juyeon,â Yunjin nodded at the two who were slumped against each other, eyes closed and probably drifting to some dreamland where a head splitting morning would soon await them in the morning.Â
âTheyâre also a lost cause,â she sighed, shaking her head. âLetâs get going,â
It was a miracle that Yunjin, Yujin and Sunghoon had successfully carried you and the other two out of the club. The process, however, didnât matter and was forbidden to speak about, what mattered most was the success of getting the three of you.Â
âIâll call a cab for us four, we live in the same apartment complex,â Yunjin looked over at a struggling Yujin trying her best to prevent Anton and Juyeon from falling over while they leaned against each other. You were basically the calmest out of them, sleeping soundly. âWill it be okay for you to bring Y/N home? I know itâs too much to askââ
âIâll bring her home. Itâs not too much, donât worry,â Sunghoon reassured, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat. âWâwhatâs her address?â it never occurred to Sunghoon that, one day, he would not know where you lived, that you were no longer the girl that lived next to his house. The girl that had once taken over his life was no longer a part of it. That, to him, was a tough pill to swallow.
âIâll send it to you in a second, Iâm almost done booking the cab,â Yunjin was feverishly tapping her screen, her eyebrows knitted together. âYou drove here, right?â
âI did,â
âSmart decision,â she muttered, finalising her booking with one last tap. âThe cabâs arriving in ten minutes and I just sent her address to you. Donât worry about us, it isnât our first time, we know how to deal with them. Get her home safe, and you, get home safe too,â
âYou sure youâll be okay?â Sunghoon asked once more, casting a worried glance over at the two men who couldnât even keep their balance sitting up.Â
âBetter than okay. Now, go get her home, weâll be fine.â
Sunghoon drove his car to the front of the club, and with the help of your two friends, you were loaded into the passenger seat with ease. By then, you were half awake from your sleep, the unfamiliar settings causing you to become much alert. You sat up from the seat a little too quick, an honest mistake which brought a throb to your head.Â
âJust sleep, itâll hurt less,âÂ
That voice. How and why was it so close to you? Whose car were you in? Could it be �
âSunghoon?â
You blinked hard, trying to get rid of the haziness and the blur in your vision. It didnât need a second thought for you to know itâs Sunghoon. From his voice to his outline, even the midst of it all, you could always recognize the boy you knew your whole life.Â
âDonât act so surprised. Iâm just trying to help,â he replied flatly, keeping his eyes ahead.Â
âI thought youâd rather die than help me,â
âWell, thatâs what you think. Youâre not always right,âÂ
You didnât say anything after, letting a curtain of silence fall over, it was better for you and him. You could barely keep your eyes open, the heaviness of your head only made you feel much nauseous than before. It was more ironic how the reason you drown yourself in alcohol was sitting next to you, driving you home with no single trace of alcohol in his blood unlike you. Maybe you were the pathetic one here.
The drive back to your place was quiet, the faint music from his radio was playing to fill the awkwardness between you two. How did it even get to this point in the first place? You wished you knew. Sunghoonâs car eventually came to a stop right by the entrance of your apartment complex, the silence somehow only grew thicker now that the car has stopped moving.Â
âWeâre here,â Sunghoon announced the obvious, attempting to cut through the silence with something rather than nothing. âDo you need me to walk you up?â
âIâll be fine on my own,â
âYou donât really look fine,â
âThanks for your concern, but Iâm fine, and thanks for the ride home. Iâll see you at training,â you reached for the handle, pulling it and opening the door, one foot already out, but the other lost its footing and you stumbled, a hand gripping onto your forearm was what prevented you from falling face first into the hard road. Sunghoon yanked you back into the passenger seat, and you were too surprised to utter another word. Damn it.Â
âYouâre clearly not fine on your own. Let me walk you up,â he said with a finality in his voice. You knew there was no way for you to reject his offer now that you had embarrassed yourself while you tried proving your point. âYouâre still not good at walking in heels after all these years, huh?â
âWhatââ
He had slammed his side of the door into your face and your unfinished response. You didnât have the time to process everything when Sunghoon appeared by you in a split second, your door was opened and he was staring at you with an unreadable expression. It was irritating and extremely annoying to you how he was practically almost impossible to read around you. You knew him too well, and that was probably the reason why he increased his guard when it came to you.
âHold onto me,â he extended his arm, and you couldnât explain why, but your heart rate was increasing with every passing second. His head tilted slightly at your hesitance, a minor frown decorated his features at your reaction. âWhat is it?â
âOhânothing,â you shook your nerves off. Since when were you ever scared of Sunghoon? Let alone be nervous around him. You mightâve not been friends but it doesnât make him any scarier. In that light, in that moment, you got a glimpse of the Sunghoon you knew years ago. That was what made you freeze up.
You placed your hand on his forearm, using him for support as you got out of his car, the piercing pain in your foot caused you to wince. Youâre still not good at walking in heels after all these years, huh? Why must he always be right about you? âWhat is it?â he noticed your discomfort, worry flashing across his face for a moment.Â
âItâs nothing, just my heelsââ
âSit back,â he placed a hand on your shoulder, gently pushing you back into the passenger seat. He took one glance at you, there was an unmistakable mix of emotions in his eyes, but then he was out of your sight, opening the door of his backseat to get something.Â
Once he was back, he knelt on one knee in front of you, not a single word was exchanged, but you followed his every movement. He had a pair of shoes in his hand, it was only a beat later when he stared up at you, meeting your curious eyes. âWhen are you going to stop pushing me away and pretend itâs nothing when you need help?â
Sunghoon reached for your leg, unbuckling your heels in a swift motion, his touch was soft and he was gentle with you in every way. The shock from earlier till now had only caused you to sober up quicker, but the haziness in your head made you wonder if this was just a dream. He was right in front of you, swapping your heels for a comfortable pair of shoes, helping you into them as you watched wordlessly.
âThere. Feel better now?â Sunghoon stood up, holding onto your heels in one hand. Truthfully, you didn't know what to say to him, merely nodding in response. He breathed out a rather loud sigh, extending his arm out to you once more, and you immediately got the cue to hold onto him just like before.
Your first step out onto the ground was heaven in those comfortable shoes. They were large and awkward for you, but they were miles better than your heels. âJust hold onto me. I know you probably can't walk straight now,â
You bit back a remark to that, wanting to prove him wrong but you figured it'd be another stupid idea of yours. Holding onto his forearm just like before, you walked quietly with him by your side. You were unconsciously leaning your side onto him, the realisation mightâve not hit you, but it did for him. This was the closest youâve been since six years ago, physically and emotionally.Â
The silence was painful leading up to the moment you opened your front door, hoping to bid him a hasty goodbye, just for you to almost stumble over your own two feet once more, proving his point was right all over again. Sunghoon didnât complain when he helped you out of his shoes, he didnât say anything even when he guided you into your bedroom where you crashed out once your head hit the pillow. How was that possible? That was what Sunghoon thought upon seeing your sleeping figure.
âSunghoon,â he nearly jumped at the sound of your voice that was muffled by your face being pressed into your bedsheets. Your eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed with a slight frown as if there were many thoughts swarming your drunken mind. He didnât dare to speak or make another move, waiting for what you would say next with an unsteady breath. You shifted in your sleep, your hand seemingly balling into a fist. âIâm sorry,â the words were hardly audible, yet in the silence of the night and the heat of it all, it was the loudest and clearest to Sunghoon, they were the only thing buzzing in his ears along with the sound of his heartbeat.
A faint smile that he hasnât worn around you in ages made its way to his face. Although Sunghoon knew you would most likely have forgotten about this and have zero recollection of uttering the words âIâm sorryâ when morning comes, there was still a sense of assurance that the chances of reconciling werenât completely zero. He breathed out a small sigh, realising he had to go back to pretending he hadnât heard your confession, having to act cold to one another as if it wasnât killing him internally. Were you feeling the same as he did?
Sunghoon tucked you into your blanket, casting one last glance at you sleeping soundly before turning his back to you, taking big steps to your bedroom door just for him to stop in his tracks at the glint of your photo frames. He knew he shouldnât pry, but he couldnât help stealing a glance. It was his first mistake, his curiosity had led him to the childhood pictures of you and him. You still had them after everything you went through with him. There was a lump in his throat, the sting in his eyes became much more prominent, a cluster of emotions were weighing down on him.
âIâm sorry too.â
âIs it me ⊠or is the mutual hating tension becoming awkward now?â
All of your teammates were huddled in a group, observing you and Sunghoon being forced to listen to your coachâs lecture for the hundredth time. It was the first training after your short weekend break, and that night alone has changed everything. Neither you nor him were at each other's throats anymore, there was no malice in the air or animosity, but there was still a striking tension that made everyone around you and him feel uncomfortable.Â
âWhat even happened that night?â Juyeon crossed his arms, frowning a little at the zero to none recollection of what happened that night all thanks to his reckless drinking.
âNothing much,â Yunjin said, her eyebrows raising at the sight of you and Sunghoon, choosing to keep your worries about him a secret.Â
Yujin coughed, displaying a deadpan expression. âWhat Juyeon probably meant was, what happened after? He sent her home, didnât he?â
âHe did, but I didnât hear what happened after,â
âTheyâre acting like theyâve fucked or something,â
âAnton!â the group averted their eyes at Anton, who seemed to have shrunk under the sharp glares sent by his teammates.Â
âWhat really happened after?â
If you were to receive at least a dollar for the times your coach has reprimanded you and Sunghoon, you wouldâve quit swimming and be a millionaire. This instance was the same as before where he called you and Sunghoon out on your lack of chemistry. He wasnât entirely wrong, and you could understand how it might affect the overall team chemistry, but what could you do? Make the first move? Insane.
âGuys, I know Iâve said this before, but youâve got to at least talk a little,â Coach Jeon let out a sigh, rubbing the sides of his head with his lips pressed into a thin line. âEveryone with eyes can tell you do not wish to be associated with each other or stand next to each otherââ his eyes were trained on the distance between you and Sunghoon. Upon realisation, the both of you took a step closer to each other, but it was not enough to mend it.
âJust try. Donât give the national team or yourselves bad press, alright?â Coach Jeonâs face was laced with genuine concern and worry. Given how long your relationship has been affecting the team, your coachâs worries only increased. âLook, either try to be on friendly terms before the Olympics or Iâll make it happen,â the latter sounded almost like a threat from the tone of his voice, sending chills down each of your spines. âDismissed.â
The moment your coach was out of ear shot, you turned to look at Sunghoon, narrowing your gaze accusingly at him. âDid you hear him? Weâve got to at least try speakingââ before you could manage to finish your sentence, Sunghoon scoffed and turned on his heels to leave the room.
You, on the other hand, were entirely dumbfounded by his sheer audacity. Was him helping you out that night merely a front that he kept up? He had transformed a total 180 compared to his previous attitude, this was not the same man who left you water and aspirin by your bed. âAsshole!â you shouted out at him as he made his way out, turning to leave from the other door to avoid following him.
The rest of your teammates that were huddled in a group still had their eyes fixated on the drama unfolding before them, most of which were shaking their heads in disapproval, some wandering eyes were trained on either one of your backs before disappearing completely behind the doors. Yunjin exchanged a brief glance with Yujin, a light bulb on the top of her head turning on.
âIâve got a way to get them to fix things up.â
The sun was soon setting as the evening came to an imminent end. You were the last to shower, being the only one left in the locker room, the sound of your locker door slamming shut echoed throughout the room. You took a seat on the bench, leaning your head against the lockers, a frustrated groan escaped your lips. You were annoyed, agitated at how Sunghoon had actively ignored you. Why was he acting like a total stranger to you? The least he couldâve done was spare some acknowledgement. Was he as cruel as you made him out to be?
You were pulled out of your deep thoughts the second you heard voices coming from the outside of the door. There was no way anyone would be catching you getting emotional over Sunghoonâexcept for Yunjinâonce was already enough, you blamed it on the influence of the alcohol. The voices only got louder as it came closer. There was a manâs voice, but also a woman, or actually, it sounded more like a group as you walked to the door, straining your ear to listen in on the commotion outside.
Before you could get any closer, the door flung open, causing you to take a step back in shock, mouth agape. The person being pushed into the locker room was no one other than the manifestation of your thoughts: Park Sunghoon. Just as quick as he was pushed in, the door slammed shut and there was a sound of the door locking.Â
âSort your shit out and weâll let you out in a few hours! Sorry!â
âWhat?âÂ
âWhat?â
You and Sunghoon yelled out simultaneously, absolutely incredulous this was befalling on you. Sunghoon, who happened to be unfortunate enough to be pushed into the locker room that you were alone in. This wasnât a coincidence, it was a strategic plan your teammates brewed up. The realisation clicked once you locked eyes with him, the adrenaline soon died down and the usual awkward tension returned.Â
The pettiness from earlier had you turning your back on him, storming towards the bench where you were sitting before your peace was ruined. Slow and hesitant footsteps followed you from behind, the heaviness of your breathing filled the air and you soon stopped in your tracks, the footsteps followed short. You turned around fast enough for you to have a whiplash, the man in front of you had kept a distance between you and him, the unspoken emotions were visible in the way he looked at you.
âAre we ever going to stop this?â the words had left his mouth before you could even form a proper thought, that alone was able to break down everything you had prepared to say beforehand.Â
âStopâwhat?â
âThis! Us!â he gestured between you and him, the distance was already proof of your coldness to one another. âAre we going to continue pretending everything is alright when itâs not?âÂ
âYou seriously have the nerve to say that after ignoring me for years, so yes, everything is fine! Itâs the way itâs supposed to be,â
âYou were ignoring me too!â
âI mean, you hate me, we canât stand each other, isnât that what everything is meant to be like?â
ââI hate youâ? Since when have I hated you?â Sunghoon scoffed, nostrils flaring, frown lines deepening.Â
âEver since our first competition after you transferred clubs. We stopped talking, you never bothered to look me in the eyes and brushed past me as if I was a stranger! I thought I could try apologising, but since then, all I could see in your eyes was anger,â your breath was shaky, the memories of your best friend becoming someone you couldnât recognise was painful to relive. âYou never told me your plans to leave, but you know what? I thought we were best friendsâŠâ
Sunghoon was silent for a moment, he opened his mouth to speak just for him to close it again, jaw clenched with a tense gaze. âI thought it was the right choice. I knew you wouldâve said no if I had told you earlier, so I chose not to. I didnât want to hurt you, but I suppose my judgments were wrong. I was a coward,â he paused, his eyes scanning every micro expression you made. âI never hated you. How could I ever? I was angry at myself. Seeing youâŠI was frustrated that I had let you go so easily. I thought you didnât wish to reconcile after you ignored me, I didnât know it was the opposite,â
You were still unresponsive, your pupils were shaking just as your breath began to waver. Sunghoon tried his best to muster the faintest of a soft smile, his knuckles were soon turning white from how hard he was balling his fists. âIâm sorry for saying those things that night. I shouldnât have disregarded our friendship over something so stupid. Iâm sorry, Y/N,â
With every blink, your eyes only stung from the tears building up. His confession as a whole made your heart twist, the overwhelming truth was eating you up from within. The explanation from him that you craved and yearned from years was finally here, but instead of feeling angry and wanting to punch him in the face like youâve always thought you would, you were the total opposite of that.
Tears were streaming down your face before you could fully comprehend you were crying. The lump in your throat was preventing you from speaking, a choke sob escaped and that wasnât helping your case at all. âFuck,â you cursed, feeling the heat creeping up to your face from embarrassment and you immediately buried your face into your hands.
âHey,â Sunghoon took large strides to get to you. You felt the warmth of his presence, the gentle touch of his hands that were on your arms, trying to pry them away from shielding your face. In that moment, you let yourself fall victim to him and his touch, feeling as if you had travelled back in time to when you first lost and Sunghoon was comforting you. âHey, look at me,â your eyes flitted up to meet his gaze, recognising the familiarity in them that youâve missed.Â
âWhat are you crying for?â his thumb brushed against your skin, wiping the downpour of tears.Â
âIâm sorry, Sunghoon, Iâm truly sorry. I feel stupid, I shouldnât have expected you to read minds, I shouldnât have blamed you for everythingââ
âHey,â he said once more, pulling your attention back onto him. âItâs alright. The both of us made mistakes, we were both in the wrong, none of us could blame the other. I know where youâre coming from, I understand,â
You blinked your tears away, breathing in deeply to stop yourself from crying yet again. âI wished we couldâve done this earlier. I wished I couldâve been less consumed by my anger. I lost many years without you, and most of all, I missed you,â
There was a twitch to the corners of Sunghoonâs lips, his hold on your hand became slightly tighter, and in a blink of an eye, he tugged you into his chest, engulfing you into a hug. Youâve missed this feeling, yet it felt completely new to you. âI missed you too. Iâm sorry for being such a stuck up asshole to you all the time,â
You snorted, smiling faintly against his hold. âYou better be sorry. Youâre forgiven,â
âYouâre forgiven too.â
Six years. That was how long youâve lost with each other. The amounts of competitions won, achievements and important events missed could no longer be replaced. But that day, in that locker room, you got a new chance at rebuilding the moments youâve lost in those six years, and you got a new beginning to build memories, even legacies, together that lasted for centuries.
Waking up to a message from Sunghoon on a Saturday morning was the last thing youâd expect.Â
Sure, you had made up with him not long before this, rather forcefully so, and you were glad it went well because you were done with your years of miscommunications with him, but after all, the wound was still fresh, the awkwardness and unfamiliarity was there between the both of you. You couldnât really speak to him without silence eventually following with nothing to say, nor could he keep a conversation with you fully either.Â
In your eyes, he looked like the person you knew for your whole life, physically unchanged, but at that moment, you didnât know what he was actually like anymore, whether he would laugh at the same joke you made or if heâd have the habit of repeating some words as he used to, all of those became a mystery to you. It hurts you to know youâve built a distance from him, causing the person you understood so well becoming someone youâre barely associated with.
Unknown number: this is Y/N, right? itâs Sunghoon. do you have time today?
You: hey, itâs Y/N. i do have time, iâm free for the whole day. why do you ask?
Sunghoon: iâm going home today, back to our hometown, iâm wondering if youâd like to come along? itâs okay if you decline though.
You: no, actually iâd like to come with you if you donât mind. thanks for asking me.Â
Sunghoon: iâll be at your house in an hour, eat something light, letâs get breakfast at our usual place.
Going back to the place that practically raised you along with the person that had been by your side since the start and growing up together with you was something youâd never once thought was possible in those six years apart, that was until now. It was a miracle that heâd willingly invited you to join him, and as much as you were relieved, you were also nervous, way too anxious for your own good.
For at least fifteen minutes after answering his texts, you paced back and forth in your apartment, conflicted about what to wear, the things you should bring, and even preparing what you could say to him once you saw him. This was a big step for not only you, but also him. It was a bandage that would heal the wounds caused by your dispute, a potential chance to restart the friendship and get closer to one another. Â
Seeing his car brought you back to the night he drove you home. An embarrassing realisation that you had was Sunghoon had to see you in your drunken state that couldn't keep yourself balanced on two feet. You disregarded that memory and entered his car, greeting him a good morning like you've grown to do at training.
âHungry?âÂ
âI'm alright, just had some bread,â
âGreat. It'll be an hour drive and we'll stop by our favourite restaurant, how does that sound?â
âI'm excited. I haven't been back in months,â
âWell, I think you'd like the new set they added in the menu.â
He remembered what you liked and hated? The biggest shock was realising he still ate at your favourite restaurant, taking note of an addition to the menu that he'd think you'd like. Did that mean he's kept you in his head even before your reconciliation?
Everything was confusing to you. He was confusing to you. It was absolutely frustrating. You shook off that feeling and stared out of the window, noting some landmarks that you remembered. It was the same route you'd take every time you went back to your hometown as well. You wondered how many times you've happened to cross paths on this route with Sunghoon in the past.Â
By taking advantage of the silence in the car, you decided to ask Sunghoon a question that's been eating you alive ever since you received his message. âWhy did you suddenly decide to go back at this time?â
Sunghoon didn't expect you to cut through the silence, glancing at you briefly before returning his eyes upon the read ahead. He hummed thoughtfully, fingers tapping on the steering wheel.Â
âTo be honest, I've thought about it for quite some time already. I wanted to have a small getaway while being able to see my parents before going to Paris,â he paused for some time, the faint music coming from the radio played in the background. âIt's something that I do before major competitions. Visiting the old pool and seeing everyone again really calms me down a lot. I just thought it'll be a great opportunity to bring you along nowâŠâ now that we're somewhat friends again. That was probably what he wanted to say after judging from his hesitance.Â
âI never knew you went back so often,â you muttered, frowning at the fact that this was another thing that you failed to learn about Sunghoon. It was also another evidence of how your friendship was, in fact, in the ditch for a long period of time where you practically had zero idea of what the other was doing.
He maintained his focus on the road ahead, but you could see a small, ever so slightly of a smile forming on his face. At least you knew he was getting comfortable enough to not keep such a stoic expression around you like before. âIt's not that often. I will try to do it as much as I can, but it's hard. You know, my mum would ask your mum about you all the time, she just hides it from me,â
You snorted at that, yet internally, you felt touched at Mrs Park's concern for you even when you and her son stopped being friends. It was hard to avoid her whenever you went home considering she lived in the house next to your family. Not that you had ill intentions to dodge her, but seeing her after what went down, you didn't have the courage to face her. Mrs Park was relentless to say the least, she'd always find her way to speak to you no matter what, and sometimes, you could see how sorry she was from her eyes alone.
âI'm sure my mum does the same too and she just never tells me.â
The journey there didnât take long with several conversations here and there with Sunghoon, the small talks lasted longer than how it usually would, and that alone was saying something. There were some laughs shared together, in the midst of the moment, you couldnât help letting your gaze on his smile linger for more than a second. It was the first few times you got to see Sunghoon letting himself go around you just like old times.Â
Sunghoon wasnât kidding when he mentioned the first stop would be your favourite restaurant. It was surprising to see the restaurant again after almost a year of not dropping by. The times you went back to your hometown was to visit your parents only, there were barely any second thoughts about stopping to visit your favourite spots. Maybe it was also because you were scared to relive the best memories you had with Sunghoon and the only way was to avoid the places you created unforgettable moments with him.
âI havenât been here in forever,â you looked around at the unchanging interior of the restaurant, the walls were decorated with simple paintings and a picture of you and Sunghoon together with the restaurant owner. Beside that picture was another one that caught your eye instantly. Squinting, you realised that it was Sunghoon with the owner in more recent years, most likely a year ago. He really did come back to visit much more consistently than you, especially to the places you grew up going to together. âIs that you in the picture?â
Sunghoon raised his eyebrows, turning to follow your line of sight and realisation dawned on his face at the picture that was next to the old one of you and him. âOhâthat, yeah it is. It was taken a year ago. I only started coming back here last year. I was surprised she recognised me after all those years. It was quite awkward when she asked me about you though,â
âI can imagine,â you cringed at the image of people asking either one of you about the other, you've been so close since forever where everyone assumed you and him came in pairs. âI didnât think youâd come back here,âÂ
âWhy not?â
âDoesnât it remind you too much of us?â
Sunghoon smiled at that, a hint of curiosity sparked in your eyes at his reaction. âThatâs the reason why I came back actually ⊠regardless of what happened,â
You could sense some sadness in his voice when he said that despite wearing an unwavering smile. There was an odd feeling in your heart knowing that you were wrong all along. Sunghoon never hated you, not even once. In fact, he missed you just as much as you did, or more judging from what he'd said. Was it relief, regret or sadness that you felt?
âShould we order?â he noticed the solemness settling in your face, taking the initiative to change the subject and divert your attention away from your thoughts. âHow about we order our usual?â
âDo you still remember mine?â
âI do. I'd never forget anything about you.â
Every part of you was filled with nostalgia once you tasted the food you grew up eating. It was a shame your fear clouded you from coming back to the restaurant, you've missed it more than you expected. However, it was probably the best choice that you made unknowingly. It wouldn't have felt the same without Sunghoon. Eating the same food with the same person that you had done so years ago proved that you would've missed his presence if he wasn't there.
âYou two are going to the Olympics next month, right?â the restaurant owner, Mrs Kim, came by your table to check up on you and Sunghoon, who answered her question with a short 'yes'. She turned to you, and it was then you realised how much older she's gotten over the years of not seeing her. Time really has slipped through your fingers. âI haven't seen you in years. I was really happy to see you winning in the last Olympics,â
You bowed your head slightly, smiling at the fact that she remembered you even though you practically disappeared for a long period of time. âThank you. I really wished I got the time to stop by too,â
âIt's okay, you're probably busy, aren't you? It just makes me really, really happy to see you here with him now. I remember how you and him loved coming by to hang out and eat,â Mrs Kim reminisced thoughtfully, spreading the effect to you and possibly Sunghoon as well. She took a quick glance at the wall where your old picture was. âHow about we take a new photo? I'll make sure to stick it on the wall to show how much our Olympic medallists had grown,â
You and Sunghoon laughed awkwardly, but neither of you rejected her offer either. At the same spot in the restaurant where you stood years back, in the exact position standing beside Mrs Kim with Sunghoon to her right, you smiled at the camera, listening to the click coming from the phone as the picture was taken. As Mrs Kim ran to check on the pictures, you looked over at Sunghoon, meeting his eyes at once as he had already been staring at you before that.Â
It was unspoken, but you knew what he meant. This moment was something you and him both needed after everything that went down. It was a start over, a reflection on your past and reliving your memories. You were there then, also creating new memories for your future-self, looking back to feel nothing but relief that you and Sunghoon had patched up the cracks.
There was a small, genuine smile that crept onto your face. It was filled with nothing but sincere joy and relief. At that, Sunghoon reciprocated your smile, chuckling a little too. A wave of emotions flowed through the two of you in that instance, because you knew, there was nothing in this world that could ever take this moment away from you, never again.Â
The next stop right after breakfast was your parents' homes.Â
There was a sense of ease in the air ever since you left the restaurant. You and Sunghoon no longer were as tense as before, feeling rather comfortable in your own skin compared to the awkwardness you suffered from last time. Sunghoon couldn't hide his nervousness about going home, and if you thought about it too, you started feeling the same.
You didn't tell your parents you were visiting, after all it was an impromptu trip and you figured a surprise visit would be nice. 'Surprise' probably wouldn't be enough to describe your return together with Sunghoon. You doubted anyone could've seen this coming.
âLet's meet up after to get lunch, how does that sound?â Sunghoon and you were standing outside of his car that was parked on the sidewalk right by each of your houses.Â
âSounds good. I'll text you,â
âSure. I'll let you know when I'm done too,â he glanced over your shoulder, looking at his house before averting his gaze to yours. It didn't take long for you to piece together what was going through his mind. Memories of your childhood, that was most likely flooding his head. âSee you,â
âSee you in a while too.â
It was odd. Watching Sunghoon entering his home, you couldn't get yourself to enter yours. Not because you were scared of your parents whatsoever, it was mainly due to a weird feeling clouding your senses. Every moment, everything, from the restaurant up until standing on the sidewalk with Sunghoon, it reminded you of your past that you were reliving in the present, except you were much older and had different circumstances. Growing up was weird.
Your parents were definitely surprised to see you walking through the front door. Nevertheless, they engulfed you in a hug and asked about your sudden visit. Once you mentioned Sunghoon, their eyes almost popped out, and you had to explain everything from the start to the end.Â
âSo, I guess we're friends again,â
âOh, thank God,â your mother sighed dramatically, clutching onto her chest. You were already tired from her antics and it has only been an hour. âThank God you and Sunghoon are back to being friends. I was wondering if you two will ever talk again,â
âWe were almost never going to talk forever. Things weren't as smooth sailing in the beginning, but I'm glad we worked through it somehow,â you shrugged, lips flattening into a thin line.Â
âDid you know Sunghoon would always visit us whenever he's back here?â your dad chimed into the conversation, it was his turn to surprise you with something new that you never knew about, so you shook your head. âHe practically begged us not to tell you because he knew you'd be angry,âÂ
âHe did?â you breathed out in disbelief and shock, not expecting Sunghoon would go out of his way to visit your parents as well. All while you and him were on bad terms, that was way more than necessary. You felt yourself melting into the couch, another level of guilt built internally. âHe cared ⊠way more than I thought.â
The day eventually rolled by swiftly after eating lunch and an early dinner with both yours and Sunghoon's family. The two families hadn't had the chance to sit down and catch up together as a whole in years. It wasn't the same in those years of bad blood, and now that everything was back to the way it should be, you could tell both families were at peace just as much as you were. Inevitably, you had to bid them goodbye with a heavy heart, accepting their wishes for the Olympics and stealing one last look to remember the moment.
The evening sun was setting soon, the sky was painted a hue of orange and yellow. You missed the feeling of watching the sunset back at home. This time around, however, you didn't feel a sense of sadness in you anymore, unlike how you did in the past. The sun was disappearing from sight as you stared out of the window. Sunghoon was bringing you to the last spot that he'd usually go to during his routine visit: your old training centre.
You still remember the last few times you visited the training centre. Once was after the Tokyo Olympics where you and some of your other teammates that you trained with at your old club came to meet some of the young swimmers. There was the other time when you personally visited to see your old coach, having the chance to speak to him privately and you could still recall the unavoidable mention of Sunghoon.
There you were, years later, walking by him along the vast swimming pool that you trained in with Sunghoon growing up, watching evening training sessions of the youth swimmers. Eventually, you and him decided to take a seat in the stands, feeling worn out after a long day. You turned to him, unwavering eyes trained on his face. âIâm surprised you would visit everytime youâre here even though you transferred,â
âItâs where everything started,â he had his attention on the training session happening below, a smile filled with reminiscence of the past slowly crept onto his lips. âItâs where all my memories are. I could remember every little memory of us being here from years ago,â
âI suppose youâre right. Whenever Iâm here, I feel oddly nostalgic. Every part of the pool has a story behind it, thatâs how much time we spent here,â you hugged your arms around yourself, leaning forward to get a clearer look of the swimmersâ performances.Â
Sunghoon averted his gaze, turning to meet your eyes instead. There was a hint of fondness in those warm, brown irises that reflected a different version of you in them. They lingered for a beat longer before he finally spoke. âIâm glad youâre here with me this time,â there was no mistaking the sincereness in both his voice and his gaze, the truth of his was the same as how you felt. It truly was the closure that you and him needed. âYou have no idea how much I missed you whenever Iâm here,â
The edge of your mouth twitched, there was an unexplainable feeling in your heart, something that youâve experienced around Sunghoon one too many times back then and it seemed to have returned once more. âAnd you have no idea how I feel the same about you when Iâm here too.â
Going home, there was a much lighter atmosphere surrounding you and Sunghoon compared to before. You couldnât explain it, but you just knew the trust and love that had existed in the past was coming back stronger than ever. It was a day filled with nostalgia, reminiscence and also vulnerability. Youâd never thought youâd confess your inner thoughts to him until he did, being the first to open up and allowing you to realise he wasnât the bad guy that you made him out to be in your head. He was Park Sunghoon, the same as the one you grew up with, the first boy who showed you everything and made you feel emotions youâve never experienced.Â
He was your best friend. Yet, deep inside of you, you knew in those two words, âbest friendâ, there was something more than simply just that.
One month. 30 days.Â
The Paris Olympics seemed to be closer than imagined. From being a faraway dream to becoming a reality, the Olympics were the only thing clouding your thoughts day and night, just as it was for your teammates. You and your teammates have yet to stop pushing yourselves with the reminder of winning a gold medal, the weight of it made everyone tense and having a harder time to calm down.Â
âShould we get some drinks tonight?â Yunjin proposed at the end of the training, looking expectantly at every one of you. âItâs the weekend and we have some time off,â
âNo clubs please,â Anton threw his head back, dreading the thought of getting drunk at the club and being disoriented again, especially when the big day was coming.
âWho said weâll be going to the club?â Yunjinâs smirk was telling you that she had a grand idea brewing in her head already. âCome to my place. I have the best drinks to offer,â
The temptation of drinking somewhere other than the club was getting to you and the others. With the accumulated stress and endless training, all you wished for was a chance to let go even for only a second. Now that Yunjin had proposed an idea that was hard to reject, the devil on your shoulder was calling for you to agree.
âIâm down,â Sunghoon was the first to agree to Yunjinâs idea, his eyes immediately meeting yours when you looked over at him. He flashed you a faint smile, giving you a drinking gesture to which you rolled your eyes at.
âYou know what, me too,â Juyeon, who stood next to Sunghoon, threw his arm around Sunghoon, bouncing slightly on his heels. Following him, the others agreed too, and you inevitably went along.Â
âIâll pick you up,â Sunghoon said as he passed by you before disappearing with the guys to their locker rooms. Yunjin and Yujin were staring at you with a type of smile that you knew was up to no good.Â
âWhat?â you wrapped your towel around you and started making your way to the locker room as well, the other two running up to catch up with you.Â
âYou and Sunghoon have gotten really close,â Yunjin nudged you with her elbow.
âIsnât that what you all wanted? Since you locked me in a room with him,â you wiggled an accusatory finger at both Yunjin and Yujin who were equally guilty for conjuring up the idea and going along with it. âIs it supposed to be surprising that weâre close friends again?â
You remembered that day clearly and what exactly happened after. Once you made up with Sunghoon, you and him werenât freed from the room immediately as you wished for it to be. Instead, you were in there for over an hour, stuck with Sunghoon and having to converse with him even though he had just witnessed your breakdown in front of him. Admittedly, it was a great bonding time that did help in repairing your relationship, but you were still holding that grudge that your friends had run off to leave you fending for yourself in that locker room.
Thankfully, their efforts were not in vain. After that, you and Sunghoon became closer as each day passed by. Although it was a little awkward and tense at some points in time, you still managed to get over it, building back the friendship that you used to have together. You could tell Coach Jeon was much more relaxed than usual seeing you and Sunghoon talk and interact. Not to mention, the trip back to your hometown has made a monumental impact on you and him, getting the closure that the both of you needed and finally putting everything behind.Â
âWellâŠno,â Yujin interjected, a finger placed on her chin as if she was pondering deeply about something, then she turned to look at you sharply. âBut, what ifâŠâ
You pulled a face at her, absolutely confused at what she was trying to mean. âWhat if?â
âWhat if,â it was Yunjinâs turn to chime in, raising her eyebrows suggestively at you. âWhat if you and Sunghoonââ
âNever!â you blurted out, stopping Yunjin from finishing the sentence that you knew what was going to end with. That question has been asked ever since you were kids till your teen years, and you were getting deja vu at that moment. The thought of Sunghoon and you dating has always pulled a convulsive reaction out of you.
âWhat?â Yunjin and Yujin shrieked, halting in their steps which prompted you to follow suit, staring frantically at them as though youâve spoken a curse that had shook them.
âYou had Park Sunghoon wrapped around your little finger since you were a kid and you never onceânot even onceâthought about him in that sense? Do you know how popular he is?âÂ
You knew Sunghoon was popular ever since you were a kid. It didnât matter if it was in school, in the club or around your neighbourhood, his name had a reputation to it, the âcute swimmer boyâ was typically how people described him. The crushes people had on him were something you wished you would forget too, not because of jealousy whatsoever, but mainly because you were dragged into it for no reason at all.
âIâve never considered it before,â you said simply, avoiding their watchful gazes, but were met with doubtful looks from the two girls.Â
âNot even once?â
You swallowed, fidgeting with your towel and slowly losing your composure. There was a momentary pause that spoke more than words were needed, followed by an uncomfortable cough. âWellâŠmaybe once,â
âOkay. Just once?â Yunjin pressed on, a satisfactory smile appearing on her lips just as imaginary devil horns appeared on her head. She knew what she was doing.Â
âOr twiceâŠâÂ
âOnly?â
âIâm leaving!â you clutched onto your towel, not sparing your friends a single look before rushing towards the locker room. Your heartbeat was increasing at a concerning rate and it was not because you were speeding up your steps, but because of the thought of Sunghoon and your friendsâ questions. This was frustrating!
Yunjin and Yujin watched as you sped walked away from them with smiles on their faces, the identical ones they had while brewing up the plan to get you and Sunghoon back together. Well, that worked, didnât it? So, their next plan should be a guaranteed success.
âYou know what Iâm thinking?â
âI think I do.â
To your absolute dismay, the conversation you had with Yunjin and Yujin completely distracted you from that moment onwards. All you could think of was Sunghoon associated with the words âwhat ifâ when you were in the shower, locker room until seeing the man himself in his car. You listened to him talk with the soft music in the background, the ambience itself painted a picture where a new light was shone on him, the thoughts returning in no time.Â
You tried your best to avoid him when you had the chance at Yunjinâs place, taking every chance to distract yourself with your friendsâ conversations while chugging down some good beer. There were a few occasions where you felt Sunghoonâs lingering stare at you, locking eyes for several seconds before being the first to look away, heat gradually crawling up to your cheeks. Damn it, Yunjin and Yujin, why did they have to put this imagery into your head? Now you can't face Sunghoon like a normal person.
âWhy are you so quiet today?â
You were startled when you heard Sunghoonâs voice coming from behind you. It was right after midnight when you were sitting on one of the chairs in the balcony all by yourself, looking out at the city skyline with a half empty bottle of beer. Sunghoon made his presence known by taking a seat next to you, keeping his unwavering gaze at you, expecting an answer from you.
You. You were the reason. That was what you wouldâve said if you had the guts to be as bold as you wished to be. However, that was already reserved for the Olympics, so you couldnât bring yourself to be bold when it came to your true feelings. What were your true feelings in the first place?
âWhat? Oh, itâs nothing. I guess itâs just finally hitting me that the Olympics are soon. Itâs quite nerve wracking,â you were lying through your teeth, and there was a small chance he could see through you.
Sunghoon propped one hand on his knee, leaning a little close to you, his eyes trained onto your face, the scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of the beer lingered in the air between you and him. âYouâre nervous? The Y/N L/N is nervous? Thatâs something new,â
âQuit teasing,â you slapped his arm in a lighthearted manner, resisting the urge to smile when you saw his face lighting up. âEveryoneâs expectations are a heavy burden. Maybe I got older and became a little more aware of everything, but Iâm finally realising not only our country is placing their hopes on us, the entire team is too,â
The emotional side of you was making its appearance once more just as it always does when you drink. Last time it was about Sunghoon, and this time it was with Sunghoon, you should be proud of the progress. Taking a swig of your beer, you tried to hide your vulnerability by acting as casual as you could. It has been ages since you and Sunghoon had these types of conversations, especially now that youâve just recently patched things up, the last thing you wanted was to dump your worries on him.
âDo you still remember what they called us?â he placed his beer bottle onto the ground, the cool night air brushing against his hair, a slight tinge of pink painted on his cheeks from the alcohol in his system. You ignored how close he was to you, your knees brushing against one another at times, his cologne being the only thing you could breathe in, every single detail of his features being as clear as day in the night. ââNational treasuresâ. Thatâs what we are. That is what I think you are. Despite everything, whether it is losing or winning, itâs something nobody could ever take away from you. Take the burden and turn it into your strength. No one would blame you for any kinds of outcome,â
There was a beat of silence, you were blinking at him, absolutely lost for words. You were touched, the emotional imbalance wasnât helping either as it made you feel a bottle of surging emotions. Most importantly, you could feel your heart skipping a beat. Was that supposed to be normal? You ignored the telling signs, opting to feign nonchalance and breaking into a smile. âSince when did you get so matured?â
Sunghoon let out a soft chuckle, turning away from you to look at the night sky instead. He breathed in deeply, exhaling just a second after, a comfortable silence settled for a split moment. âWeâre the protagonists of the world,â he said without missing a beat, then he glanced back at you with a fiery spark in those brown irises of his. âThatâs what we used to tell each other, isnât it? So, whatâs stopping us from being that again?â
He remembered. He remembered everything. Every little detail that you thought to be too insignificant for him to recall, every small moments you had together, every word you said to him, he never once forgot them. There was a slight widening of your eyes as you processed what he just said, the realisation eventually pulled a laugh of amusement out of you, a sudden wave of reminiscence filled your heart up.Â
âYouâre right. Weâre born to be national treasures and the protagonists of the world. You and I.â
Landing in Paris was a dream come true.Â
Not only were you accompanied by the entirety of the national team, but you had your closest friends by your side, the anticipation for victories were apparent in every one of you. Yunjin and Yujin couldnât contain their excitement throughout the whole plane ride either. They were bugging you about the food choices available, the opening ceremony leading up to the design of the medals. It was a miracle you managed to sleep despite their constant bickerings.
âItâs really happening, isnât it?â Yunjin whispered to you as the team were en route to the Olympic Village.Â
âIt is. It truly is,â you had a dazed look in your eyes, the passing sceneries of the city mesmerised you with the reality of you actually being there gradually hit you. âA once in four years opportunity. It is our time now.â
Unpacking your luggage was a hefty job once youâve arrived at your assigned room in the village. You shared the lodging with your two best friends along with your other teammates from the swimming team, so there was nothing much to worry about except for the amount of gossip that would happen in that space alone. No matter how tired you all were, you had no choice but to power through it and get ready for the opening ceremony in the evening.
The opening ceremony was an unforgettable experience to say the least. You were dressed in a simple suit just as the others were too, the team uniform was the only thing taking up your line of sight as you stood on the boat that was cruising along the Seine River. Countless spectators were crowded on the bridge overlooking the river, waving to the boats passing by.
âI canât believe weâre on a boat. We didnât have this in Tokyo,â Yunjin whisper-shouted to you, recounting the opening ceremony back in Tokyo four years ago while waving the flag in her hand with great enthusiasm.Â
âItâs not everyday you get to be on a boat in some expensive suit in Paris,â you threw an arm around Yunjinâs shoulder, pulling her close to your side.Â
âAnd itâs not everyday youâre just casually participating in the Olympics,â Yujin added, doing the same to you and pulling you closer to her, eliciting a laugh from both you and Yunjin. It really was a miracle and a dream to have your best friends competing with you at such a big event, and that wasnât something anyone could just brag about.
Halfway through the boat ride, you managed to squeeze past many familiar faces from your national team, some were even athletes you looked up to, and it made you feel like a fan all over again. However, that wasnât your main goal for searching around the large boat. It was the person that came to your mind ever since you landed in Paris.
âSunghoon!âÂ
He turned around at the sound of your voice calling after him, his curious gaze landed on you, warmth and familiarity filled his eyes at the sight of you accompanied by a boyish smile he would have whenever he was with you. There was no way he could hide his excitement of seeing you from the way his eyes sparkled and crinkled at the sides, looking at you as if you were the only person in his field of vision.Â
âHey,â he breathed out once you reached his side, the both of you leaned against the railings and looked out at the river. âTired?â
âVery. Canât you tell Iâve put concealer over my dark circles? I think the jet lag might hit soon,â you dramatically pointed at your under eye area, the frown on your face only pulled a humorous laugh out of Sunghoon.Â
âRest up. Our first event is tomorrow,âÂ
âAlready?â you threw your head back, groaning at the thought of early morning training.Â
âCrazy, isnât it? I have back-to-back events too,â
âWho asked you to sign up for so many anyway?â you nudged his side teasingly, sharing a brief moment of eye contact.Â
âIâm very passionate about swimming,âÂ
âSure you are,â you snickered quietly at him, sharing the same smile he had on his face. Slowly, you turned to look at him, resting your elbow on the railing. âYouâre not pushing yourself too hard, right?â
He averted his gaze from the view in front of him, glancing at you instead and meeting your rather intense eyes that held a message that he knew to decipher before you could explain further. âDonât worry about me,â he said softly. There was a hint of hesitance in his movements for a split second, but then he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. âIâm really glad I got to spend this Olympic with you,â
Given the last Olympics in Tokyo where you and he were still in the cold war era, it never once occurred to you that youâve wasted a precious moment with him. It couldâve been a good memory where you experienced your first Olympics with the person thatâs been by your side since day one. Four years since then, in this present time, staring at his delicate features with a crowd cheering around you, there was nothing you would trade to replace this moment with him.Â
âIâm glad youâre here with me this time,â
His smile grew wider, eventually reaching his eyes that contained sparks which grew brighter as time passed. Your breath hitched, the air around you seemed to grow thicker, the breeze swept across your face, blowing against your hair. Yet, all you could do was be frozen in place, becoming much aware of the feeling of his skin on yours. How were you to explain the weird sensation of your heart tightening and racing quicker than normal? You were too young to experience cardiovascular diseases!Â
Something in you knew it wasnât symptoms of any heart diseases, it was the signs of love. That was much more frightening to you than anything else.Â
âAre youâŠokay? You dazed out for a bit,â he snapped his fingers in front of your face, bringing you back to reality after having an internal conflict with yourself.Â
âWhat? OhâIâm fine. Just a little jetlagged. I told you itâs setting in,â you laughed with a nervous undertone to it, trying to wave off any suspicion along with your own thoughts about Sunghoon.Â
âGet enough sleep tonight. Iâll be there rooting for you tomorrow. After all, your event is before mine, so Iâll be giving you my every support,â he squeezed your hand gently, unbeknownst to him, his action along with the feeling of it travelled to your heart, triggering it to thump harder against your chest. âYou better swim at your best, okay? Iâll always be able to see right through you,â
âI know youâ. You remembered it as clear as day, as though it happened just yesterday. Sunghoonâs words brought back the memory of what he had said to you during your first few altercations in training. It was a fact. There was no need for you to deny it or try to avoid that, because both you and Sunghoon knew, no matter what, youâd be able to see through one another and be the best judges of each otherâs performances. After all those years, this seemed to have not changed.
You scoffed lightheartedly, turning your face away from him for a moment to hide your flushed state before facing him once again, putting up a front of casualness. âWho are you? Coach Jeon?â
He snorted at the mention of your coach, shaking his head a little. âI think Coach Jeon would be pissed if you didnât do your best,â he was stating the obvious, considering your coach has the sharpest eyes when it comes to everyoneâs performances, there was no way anyone would dare to do so. Sunghoon raised his eyebrows at you, the slightest smile resting on his lips. âBut I donât think thatâll happen. Ever. Y/N L/N, the person I know my whole life, would never slack off or put zero effort into your swim. So, just do your best,â
âYou, do your best, too. Iâm hoping we can return home with medals around our necks,â
âOf course we are,â he said without any hesitation whatsoever, straightening his spine and wearing a confident smile, never once loosening his hold on your hand. You forgot Sunghoon tends to be the one who had more confidence than you before every competition. It has been that way ever since you were kids, and it seemed to have continued onto the present day. âDid you forget? Weâre national treasures. Weâll always bring a medal home. This time, however, itâs going to be gold,â
âYou better stick to your words,â you pointed a finger at him, the thought of winning the gold medal excited you, but it also scared you. To Sunghoon, it was just another challenge for him to tackle.Â
âI will, and you better give it your all to win that gold too. I want to win it together with you ⊠like how we used to.âÂ
Nostalgia was certainly dangerous. You couldnât help smiling at the mention of the past, thinking about the times you and Sunghoon won gold medals in your individual events. The pictures taken together with a gold medal hanging around each of your neck, smiling innocently with pure joy from winning resided in a thick photobook, becoming memories that you would never let go. It mightâve been different this time compared to the competitions from your childhood as it was the Olympics, the pressure and expectations were higher on you and him. Despite all that, the dynamic between you and Sunghoon remained the same.
Looking out at the Eiffel Tower in the distance, you realise this Olympics wasnât just a chance to fulfil your dreams, your countryâs expectations, but also the hope and dream you shared with Sunghoon since you were kids. The last Olympics mightâve not gone as well as you wished it had in terms of your friendship with Sunghoon, so this was a chance for you to turn things around. Not to mention, your inner voice bugged you constantly about your complicated feelings that have yet to have an answer. Now, that was another problem to solve.
First, youâve got to get that gold medal. Secondly, you must figure out your true feelings for your best friend. Between the two, the latter seemed much harder than the Olympic gold medal.
âYouâre telling me you thought of Sunghoon in a romantic way?â
Breaking the news while youâre warming up half an hour before the finals of your first event was probably the worst timing possible. It was even worse for Yujin and Yunjin who had just finished their semifinal round for their butterfly event.Â
Quite frankly, you couldnât blame yourself either. The thought of it was spilling at the seams since its first appearance prior to the Olympics. From that point onwards, it only seems to plague you further by taking over your mind. You were lucky you managed to make it to the top three out of the eight to qualify to the finals. The first day was already chaotic for you, to top it all off, you just couldnât avoid Sunghoon entirely and thus, the thoughts about him worsened.
âWell, correction, âthinkingâ, not âthoughtâ,â you said meekly, attempting to hide your face by stretching, but your two friends werenât letting you go easily.
âPresent tense?â Yujin shrieked, earning odd stares from reporters and other competitors around you. She pursed her lips, lowering her gaze before narrowing it at you. âSo, you do have feelings for him?â
âI donât know? Itâs not confirmed ⊠yet. I think?â
âYou havenât made up your mind yet,â Yunjin hummed, seemingly much calmer than Yujin from the looks of her demeanour. âYouâre in denial. I do think you have some feelings if you couldnât stop thinking about him,â
You stopped your actions, deciding you were done warming up, but remained motionless, a defeated sigh eventually left your lips. âWhat do I do?â
âOwn up to it. Face it,â Yunjin stated plainly, receiving a groan from you as a response.Â
âEasier said than done. The last thing I want to do is to ruin our friendship right after fixing it,âÂ
Yujin looked at you with the softest gaze, much rather in sympathy at your pathetic state. âThat wonât happen. How do you know itâs unrequited? What if Sunghoon feels the same way?â
âImpossible,â
âHey! Donât make any conclusions before knowing the truth,â Yunjin landed a smack to the back of your head, and as much as you knew you deserved that wake up call, you still hissed at the sting.
âYouâre right. I think Iâm overcomplicating everything,â
âYou are,â Yujin was straightforward, even if her honest truth was a cut to the skin, her rubbing your back in reassurance was a way to patch the wound. âHow about we have a debrief tonight at dinner? You should be focusing on whatâs much more important now,â
âThe fucking finals, Y/N! The 400m freestyle finals! Youâre against Ledecky, you should be more worried about her than Sunghoon,â Yunjin surely made a point, and it did help in giving you additional assurance.Â
You couldnât resist laughing, especially at their rather interesting way of encouragement and comfort. âLet's talk about this tonight then. Iâll make sure to swim my best later,â
âDuh, when will you ever not? Come on, Sunghoonâs 400m freestyle final is starting. Do you want to watch that or dodge him?â
âOf course Iâd want to watch it. After all, heâs still my best friend and I told him I'll be there to support him,â you remembered the unspoken promise you had with Sunghoon to win the gold medal together. With your first finals happening back-to-back, the desperation to achieve your life-long dream with each other had personally overwhelmed the thought of your nation placing their entire hope on your back.
Being at the poolside gave you a slap in the face with the reality that you were in the finals and you werenât hallucinating every part of it. You were with some of your other competitors for the finals, some were doing last warm-ups while some were sitting and waiting for the men to start their finals. You were one of those waiting for the event to begin. From the looks of your legs shaking, it was hard to determine who you were nervous for. Yourself or Sunghoon?Â
The swimmers soon take their places at their individual starting block. You could spot Coach Jeon giving Sunghoon some last minute advice before giving the boy an encouraging pat in the back, sending him off to his spot. At one point, you wondered if you were staring too intensely at the back of Sunghoonâs head. It was as if he could feel your stare and your presence simultaneously, opting to look over his shoulder instead of stretching like the other swimmers. One look was all it took for Sunghoon to spot you. He had the same spark in his eyes as the moment he saw you on the boat during the open ceremony.
His shoulders evidently sagged in relief. He breathed in deeply, followed by a striking smile that he casted specifically at you. In those years of competing together, you barely had times where your events were back-to-back, but whenever there were opportunities as such, either you or him would be relieved to see one another. Just one glance, and itâd calm your racing heart in no time. To you this time, however, instead of slowing down your beating heart, his presence only made your heart work ten times harder than usual.
Sunghoon had no choice but to take his eyes off of you once they gave out the signal to the swimmers to take their places on the starting block. Your eyes were trained solely on him, unable to tear them away from his figure as you watched him pull his goggles over his head. Quietly, and routinely, you prayed for the best.
There was a loud electronic beep that was followed by the swimmers diving into the pool, a sound of water splashing filled the arena and from that, the cheers increased by ten folds. You could barely breathe as you stared at the large projector that displayed the live televised scene of whatâs happening before you, giving everyone a much better view of the action in the pool.Â
Sunghoon was currently in a tight spot with both the German and Australian swimmers relentlessly chasing after the first place. There were times when the top three would overtake each other to secure the gold medal position just to fall back. It was only the second lap out of the eight, but you could feel yourself unconsciously gripping onto your chair tightly. To the spectators and fans, the thrill of the competition between the swimmers spurred them alive, the atmosphere in the arena became increasingly wilder from the shouts and cheers.
The swimmers completed each lap with vigour, swimming back and forth for eight laps without stopping for a second, the last lap was soon approaching once you saw Sunghoon kicked his feet off the wall, heading back to the starting spot for one last time. The underwater battle between him and the other two swimmers was becoming much more fierce, leaving the rest of the swimmers to trail behind them.Â
There was barely any gap between the three of them till the point where it became hard to determine who was in the lead. The tension was high, the fans in the crowd were shouting louder while waving the flags of their countries. You could hardly get your eyes off of the screen, the name of your best friend was displayed on the lane he was swimming in, the distance between them and the starting point was closer as each second passed.
Nobody dared to blink the next moment. Once their hands touched the walls, it was already the signal of the end. Every swimmer stopped once they had finished their lap, holding onto the edge and waiting for the results. The screams from the people watching in the stands became a hundred times louder when the leaderboard revealed the names of the top three winners. You averted your gaze to the three names, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of Sunghoonâs name sitting in second place.
The camera panned over to show Sunghoon on the screen. There was a hint of disappointment that was hard to hide, but you could tell he was trying to put on a smile. Losing the gold medal was frustrating, however, at the end of the day, he was still a winner of the silver medal, making him the first athlete to clinch an Olympic medal for the country this early on in the campaign.Â
The swimmers eventually got out of the pool, rushing to interviews or choosing to freshen up by changing into their tracksuits. The medalists were busy tending to the reporters and once they were done, they rushed off to change so that they could get ready for the award ceremony. That was when Coach Jeon approached you, reminding you that your own event was starting soon.Â
âReady?â he patted your shoulder, giving his best to offer any form of encouragement that seemed to not have successfully calmed you down entirely.Â
âNot really, but Iâll be okay,â
âJust remember what we always practised. Those months of hard work will not be in vain, you hear me? Go out there and prove to everyone that youâre Y/N L/N. The star swimmer of the national team.â
âY/N L/N, the star swimmer of the national teamâ. You never expected that the title which has been thrown around in headlines for years to finally become somewhat significant to you until this moment. You were in a designated staging room waiting for the award ceremony to end and at the same time, to get ready for yours. The small television screen in the corner of the wall was broadcasting the entirety of the ceremony, the commentatorsâ voices were drowned out by the chatters in the room, and your sole focus was on Sunghoon who stood behind the podium.Â
The moment his name was announced, he stepped onto the podium, accepting the silver medal that was hung around his neck. There was a small smile on his face as he waved to the crowds, a smile you knew very well whenever he wasnât fully satisfied with his own results. Apparently he hasnât changed much over the years when it comes to swimming.Â
âWeâre starting in five minutes!â
That reminder brought you back to your own reality that you had to face undoubtedly. The second the awards ceremony ended as fast as it had started, preparations for your event began and not long after that, the names of every competitor were announced in order. You walked out of the tunnel right as your name was called, the sound reverberated around the arena, the cheers that followed were loud enough to shake the ground of Paris. Youâve missed this feeling.
Standing before the pool with a large crowd was indeed nerve wracking after months of not competing and swimming in a pool with no spectators around. Even though you did swim with the crowd watching the day before for the preliminary round, you felt the difference at that moment knowing it was the finals. Everyone in that arena was placing their hopes on the athletes from their own countries, it was the same for you, but nothing could compare to how you and your competitors actually felt.
There was a buzz that signalled every one of you to take your places on the starting block. At that point, everything seems clearer to you. The water in the pool, the people in the crowd, your countryâs flag, all of them were the reason why you felt almost unbeatable, they gave you strength. The beeping sound of the countdown matched the rhythm of your heartbeat, ever so calmly and steady.Â
Just as it did for the finals prior to this one, the electronic beep sounded once more and you kicked off from your starting block, diving into the pool with nothing but the goal of finishing the eight laps in your mind. Time stood still, the only thing filling your vision was the bottom of the pool along with your competitors in your peripheral vision. You didnât know what was happening above the water or which place you were currently in, with every breath you inhaled, you wished time could stop for a second.Â
Every contact with the wall gave you a purpose to keep pushing forward. More than half of the eight laps were completed, all you needed was to push yourself further. It was hard being trapped with yourself and your own thoughts, the constant ideas of what would happen after this kept bugging you even as you swam. Time was, in fact, ticking. The eight laps were soon coming to an end. There was just one last lap from you and youâd be done.Â
The starting point seemed distant from your point of view. All you could wish for was your extended hand to quickly make contact with the wall. With every pump of your heart, you counted down to the moment youâve anticipated for. One, two, three âŠ
One slight graze of your finger against the wall marked the end of your lap. You grabbed onto the edge tightly, emerging to the surface of the water and inhaling a deep breath. Practically snatching your goggles off, your head snapped towards the direction of the leaderboard. Your name sat between the Australian and American swimmers.Â
Second place. 3 minutes and 58 seconds, only a second away from first place.
You shut your eyes for at least a few seconds, forcefully swallowing your disappointment down after as you congratulated your competitors. It was the first event out of the many you were competing in. You remained optimistic even as you answered questions from the reporters, though you wished they would cut down on the gold medal questions this early into the campaign.Â
On the way to the changing room, you spot a familiar face hanging around with your coach and several other of your teammates. The sight alone brought comfort to you and your heart, there was no chance of you resisting the urge to run up to them. Anton had already beaten you to it, being the first out of the group to spot you and practically shouting your name for the whole world to know.
âCongrats! You kept your spot in the 400m freestyle,â Anton wasted no time in giving you a one handed hug. The others followed too, giving you different variations of a hug.
âI wish I couldâve upgraded, you know?â
âItâs better than none, right? But I do know what you mean, and I believe youâve done your best,â Anton gave your shoulder a light squeeze, offering a warm smile.
âYou did good, Y/N. You were in great form today, but sometimes thereâll be people with better form. Donât let that get to you and focus on the next event, okay?â Coach Jeon patted you softly on your back, recognising the disappointment in your tone. âGo on and change up, the awards ceremony is soon. Letâs go and not bother Y/N first. Weâll see you later,â
Coach Jeon gave you one last pat on the back then left with the others trailing behind him, all of them cheering you on as they passed you. In the end, it was always your team whoâs your biggest support system. That has never changed over the years, and it would never change even for the future, you were very sure of that.Â
Amongst the group of your teammates who had already left, one happened to stay back and waited for the chance to speak to you alone. You didnât expect seeing this person would bring you more comfort after losing the lead. Not a hug or some encouraging words, his presence alone was what you needed in times like this, just the same as it was years ago.
âHey,â Sunghoon had his hands tucked into his pants, the silver medal was still hanging around his neck. You figured he had just finished taking pictures and was freshly done with the press conference. From the tiredness in his voice, you wished he had gone off to rest as well, but knowing him, he would rather see you first than do all that.
âHey,â you said back, letting him be the one to walk towards you and closing the gap. Pointing at the silver medal that he was sporting, you stared at him with a knowing smile. âYou better not beat yourself up over this,â you landed a firm punch to his shoulder, but unlike how he wouldâve usually reacted, he just accepted it with a grin growing on his lips, neither dodging or groaning from it. There was something so soft about his eyes that stared back at you, an unreadable mix of emotions that youâve never seen before reflected in his those brown irises.Â
âI wonât,â he chuckled, hands unknowingly reaching to touch his silver medal. âAfter all, this is only the beginning. Thereâll be a gold medal soon,â
âI need some of your confidence. Youâre always so certain about your goals and youâd end up achieving it,â you pointed out without a second thought, and you werenât exactly wrong either, earning an amused chuckle from him. âYou better let me wear the gold medal once you win it,â
âHey, didnât we have this conversation before? Weâre both winning the gold medal. Donât forget that,â he frowned at you, thick eyebrows knitting together and it only made you smile in endearment. âIâm not winning this without you. I want to achieve our dream together,â
âYouâre ridiculous,â you let out in disbelief, but from the look on Sunghoonâs face, you knew he was dead serious. Sunghoon was determined to achieve this goal with you no matter what, and he was going to succeed despite the circumstances. Just as youâve said, Sunghoon has always achieved his goals that he was certain of, this one was the same as the rest to him.
âYou said Iâm certain about my goals, so here I am. Iâm sure weâd win it. Together.âÂ
There was an overflowing amount of sureness in his conviction till the point where it had influenced you gradually. If there was one thing about Sunghoon, itâd be the fact that once heâs set his mind on something, heâd do anything to get it. You were just worried that mindset would wear him out in the long run if something didnât go his way.
âIâll hold you to it then,â
âHey Y/N! The ceremony is starting in five minutes! Go change up! Iâll see you out there,â the American swimmer who secured third place, Katie Ledecky, spotted you still unchanged and in your swimsuit.Â
âOhâalright! Thanks!â you waved at her, casting her an appreciative smile, and once she was out of sight, you turned back to Sunghoon, looking rather awkward at the sudden interruption. âI need to get goingââ
âRight. Iâm sorry for holding you up,â
âNo, itâs okay. Iâm ⊠really glad I got to see you before going out there. Iâm less nervous now,âÂ
âReally?â
âReally,â
A beat of silence filled the space between you right after. Internally, you were freaking out for admitting your thoughts so freely as youâve just done. What was Sunghoon going to think now that youâve said that? Would he interpret it as something else? What ifâ
âIâll get going now. See you after the ceremony,â
âSee you!â
There you went scurrying away from Sunghoon like a coward with your heart rate increasing, mentally cursing at yourself for your slip of a tongue. At any moment, you might as well confess your deeply hidden inner feelings to him. The gold medal, the pressure of winning and the expectations from everyone else could no longer amount to the stress of your true feelings towards Park Sunghoon.Â
Even as you stood on the podium with everyone watching, you couldnât bring yourself to take your mind off of Sunghoon. In the midst of the crowd, you could easily spot him together with your teammates. It was your moment, your victory, the few times you could call yourself a winner on a stage as big as this, but the only person you could think of was your best friend.Â
The same best friend that grew up watching movies at your house, sometimes staying up too late just because you couldn't stop talking and wishing the night would never end. He was your best friend who would tell you stories about how one day you'd both be competing at the Olympics, and he was the one who'd hold your hand whenever you felt overwhelmed no matter where you were.
You had always thought those weird feelings you'd have in your heart were common everytime he said something to you or whenever he held your hands. Never once you thought those nights you stayed up with him, lying on your bedroom floor, talking about your futures where you stared at him with something other than platonic love in your eyes was odd. You remembered the time he laughed so hard until his eyes turned crescent shaped, and that was when you felt your heart skipping a beat, not knowing this wasn't as common as it seemed.Â
It was not normal. None of those things were ever normal. All of them went flying over your head instead. In that moment, while the national anthem played in the background, you've come to finally realise you've always felt this way for Sunghoon since forever. Those years together were just you denying your feelings for him, avoiding the fear of ruining your friendship. Up until now, you still had that underlying fear especially with the fall out that happened. But your heart was screaming louder at you, clouding the fear and pushing you towards him.
With the applause and camera flashes going off, you forced a smile, the grip on the flowers and your medal tightened, because it finally dawned on you, the undeniable truth that you've suppressed for almost your life was emerging.Â
You're in love with Park Sunghoon.
Nothing has been the same for you ever since coming to terms with the realisation that you romantically loved Sunghoon.
Your friends could tell you were acting a little off that day when you won your first medal, barely able to swallow down your food during dinner as you talked about Sunghoon. Even though you initially shrugged it off by saying it was just jet lag, it didnât take long before you cracked and confessed the actual truth to your friends. Did they see it coming beforehand? Absolutely. Were they helpful? Not so. âJust tell himâ, âI think he feels the sameâ were the inputs from your friends that seemed to have made your head a mess.
Youâve always been brave. There were times where you had to face challenges thrown at you from every direction and somehow you managed to deal with them. For instance, you got through your injuries with courage and determination, nobody doubted that fact. But when it came to your feelings, bravery and determination was practically nonexistent, only quiet longing and pining existed.
âYou better not beat yourself up over this,â the familiar words coming from Sunghoon who appeared beside you almost made you jump in surprise.Â
Another silver medal won, another close chance to get gold, merely missing by a small margin. You wished to be as optimistic as you were at the beginning, but the disappointment seemed to have built up gradually. The reminder from Sunghoon made you smile upon realising that he had just repeated what you said to him before, it was a genuine smile unlike the one that you put on the podium.Â
âIâll try not to,â you removed the medal from your neck, clutching onto it in your hand. âAfter all, you did say a gold medal is coming soon, didnât you?â
âI did. Donât you remember weâre having the mixed medley relay in less than an hour?â
âRight. Our first event together,â your grip on your medal tightened unconsciously, the sudden awareness of your feelings towards him was causing your brain to haywire. Why now? âWe havenât competed together since we were fifteen,â
âI donât think they saw Iâm promising in mixed and men's medley,â he chuckled, shaking his head as he recalled the day he was announced to be replaced in the line up. âHow ironic it is that Iâm back to square one,â
âMust be fate, isnât it? The domino effect that led us here,â you marvelled at the fact that your reconciliation with Sunghoon happened at the cost of Yeonjunâs demise. Sunghoon seemed to have caught onto the gist of the meaning behind your words, shaking his head and laughing quietly.Â
âI hope Yeonjunâs doing fine,â
âHe is. Heâs just bummed that he had to miss the Olympics. Iâm surprised at how nonchalant he is about it though,âÂ
âMaybe, maybe not. Youâd never know. Anyway, I think we should get going, we need to get ready with the rest,â he gave your back a light pat, nodding his head over to where your coach and teammates stood, signalling for you to go there together. In less than thirty minutes, youâd be swimming in the mixed medley relay, not knowing what the outcome would be like against the other powerful teams, especially with Sunghoon as a replacement, it was impossible to predict anything.Â
âWhat do you think might happen?â You couldnât help wondering aloud as you and Sunghoon made your way, occasionally stealing glances at the pool where the current event was taking place. Â
âItâs hard to say. Iâve never done this before and making it to the finals was already a miracle for someone who has little experience like me. I just hope this will be the moment,â he had a small pensive frown, eyebrows furrowed as if he was fighting with his thoughts internally. You instantly knew what he meant by âthe momentâ, the silver medal in your hand somehow becoming heavier at the longing for your shared desire of winning the gold medal.
Despite the tense atmosphere with the pressure to win the gold medal, you managed to let out a genuine, carefree laugh, looping your arm around Sunghoonâs in the heat of the moment. Unbeknownst to you, he tensed for a second and his eyes were flickering in panic at your touch. You turned to look at him, a wide, infectious grin plastered on your face, reminding Sunghoon of many moments you shared with him in the past, feeling a sudden surge of deja vu but also an unfamiliar sensation gripping at his chest.Â
âWith us together, Iâm sure weâd be the protagonists of the world, like always.â
Walking out of the tunnel with you and your teammates names being announced to the whole arena to hear was a surreal moment. You had ignored the way your heart raced from the simplest action of holding Sunghoonâs hand for a split second when all of you raised your interlocked hands in greeting to the fans. It was torture to pretend you were completely normal even when Sunghoon casted you a smile right after you dropped your hands. It was almost as if he knew and was mocking you.
âAlright guys,â Anton started, taking the chance while all you were huddled together removing your tracksuits. âAfter our months of training together and from the results recorded each time, Iâm sure weâll be able to face this and get a medal home. Donât think much, weâre going to win this,â
Anton, being the groupâs hype man for every competition, didnât fail to restore the heavy atmosphere yet again. The rest of you smiled at his encouraging words that were filled with confidence, making quiet cheers and taking turns to give him a grateful pat in the back. There were some wishes of good luck and last encouragements shared around the group before Anton took his position on the starting block, being the first to begin for the backstroke leg in the relay.Â
The electronic buzz was no stranger to any of you by then. At the sound of it, every swimmer dived into the pool, swimming faced up with their arms moving in a windmill-like fashion. You could tell Yujin and Sunghoon were both holding their breaths, watching Anton and the two other swimmers fighting for the lead. Hell, you were too, wishing you could choose to close your eyes instead.
Before you knew it, Sunghoon was already making his way to the starting block to get in position. The time was ticking, you knew it was selfish but you couldnât help yourself from grasping onto his hand, stopping him in his steps, catching him off guard like a deer in headlights. âGood luck,â it was nothing much, a simple expression just like any other, yet you couldnât explain the reason why you had to tell it to him personally.
It wasnât obvious, but from the looks of his expressions softening, melting into a relieved smile as if a huge boulder had been taken off his shoulders, Sunghoon seemed to have needed to hear it from you just as much as you needed to tell it to him. âThank you. Really.â
You let go of his hand, watching as he took his position the same way as he had always done in practices. There was a sense of calmness around him. He fixed his swim cap once, pulling on his goggles after, strictly in a particular order that he followed since the start of his career. His small habits and the superstitions he believed in never changed even after all those years. Â
The moment Anton was nearing, Sunghoon dived into the pool. Your head snapped to the leaderboard displayed on the big screen, heart nearly stopping at the sight of the team being in first place at that moment. Yujin followed your sight, letting out a breath of disbelief. You turned to meet her eyes, exchanging a knowing look and placed your arms around the other. Nothing could compare to the anxiety you were feeling as the person who was going last.
Yujin was the next to dive into the pool after Sunghoon reached the starting point. He climbed out, absolutely drenched and breathing heavily from the swim. Anton went up to him and gave him a wordless squeeze to the shoulder, letting Sunghoon catch his breath first while they watched the scene unfolding before them.Â
Soon, it was your cue to get in position on the starting block. Anton patted your shoulder, saying a haste âgood luckâ once more as you made your way there. Sunghoon was quiet, he knew you more than anyone would, and in that exact second, he understood that you didnât need another word of encouragement. Instead, he held onto your hand, squeezing it tightly, keeping his eyes locked with yours as he nodded his head, a slight smile on his lips. That was truly all you needed from him.
The feeling when you pulled your goggles over your head, eyes facing straight on the water was simply unexplainable, complex even. It was the same as it had been for days, months, years, but this time, in this exact instant, why did everything feel different? Was it because of the lead and the pressure to uphold it as the person in the last leg? You shook away every one of those intrusive thoughts, focusing on Yujin getting closer.Â
Just as she got close enough, you knew it was your cue to dive into the pool, letting the water engulf you whole as you kicked your legs, propelling yourself upward to the surface. Your hands and legs were working in tandem, going over the limit to execute your best movement. Every intake of air was scarce, filling your lungs with the right amount as you turned your head each time.Â
Before you knew it, you had already reached one point, executing a swift flip turn, then you were swimming towards the starting point, towards the end of the relay. You had no idea what was happening above the water, whether or not you were still maintaining the lead, all you could was empty your mind and swim despite the tiredness wearing you down after having to compete in another event earlier on. You finally understood the struggles of having two finals in a day that your teammates would constantly complain about at that moment.Â
You didnât dare to move your head a single inch, maintaining the perfect position as you swam even though you were curious how far you were from the other end of the wall. Time was slow when you were the one swimming, the concept of everything happening around you was unknown to you. Your heart dropped to your stomach the second you felt your finger lightly brush against the wall, instantly gripping onto the edge with overwhelming suspense to know what the results were. You were holding your breath as you resurfaced, ears muffled for a split second before you were swarmed with your teammates who all crouched by you, barely having the chance to spare a glance at the leaderboard.
âWe won! We fucking won!â Yujin shouted, barely containing her emotions as tears started streaming down her face, swim cap gripped tightly in her hands.Â
âWe did it. Oh my God,â Anton exclaimed, letting his own emotions overwhelm him as he buried his face into his hands, not budging when Yujin wrapped her arms around him.
Sunghoon reached his hand out to you, his eyes were rimmed with a soft crimson hue, the redness highlighting the raw vulnerability within that he tried so hard to mask. The lashes glistened with unshed tears, and the whites of his eyes seemed to shimmer, revealing the depth of his unspoken feelings. Each blink threatened to spill over, this moment was what you and him have been waiting for. âWe finally did it. We made it.â
You accepted his hand, allowing him to help you out of the water, but before he could fully stand straight, you had already pounced on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. Sunghoon melted into your touch, holding you close to him with his arms around you with no space left for you to move. The leaderboard was turning blurry in your vision that was gradually filling with tears, your grip on him tightening and your head leaned onto his shoulder, tears mixing with the pool water on his skin.Â
He pulled away for a moment, hands still holding onto you, never wanting to let go for just a split second. There was nothing said, yet you could feel every emotion he was trying to convey through his eyes. Those shaking hands of his travelled from your waist to your face, cradling it in them, the softness of his palm pressed against your skin. It was fast, him leaning in to press a kiss that lasted longer than a second, the aftermath of it being you and him staring at each other with a mixed reaction of surprise and softness. Before you could say anything, he pulled you back into a hug, wrapping his arms around you tighter than ever.Â
The cheers around you were drowned out, the presence of the other swimmers were long forgotten, all you could think of was you and Sunghoon only. As you held onto each other as if there was no tomorrow, you never knew how impactful this win was to you and him. If either of you had won your first gold medal in your individual events, everything wouldâve turned out differently. But with this shared win, the long awaited gold medal win that you and him swore to achieve together, your dreams had come true, and it was done side by side.Â
Standing on the podium next to your teammates and most importantly, the person that youâve been through thick and thin with, receiving the gold medal that hung around your neck perfectly, you wondered if it was all a daydream. You reached for Sunghoonâs hand, slipping yours into his that he instinctively accepted, glancing at you with the widest smile in his face that was immediately burned into your brain, an image that was impossible to recreate. It was real, everything was real. The win, the feeling of victory, your unwavering feelings for the man that was holding onto your hand tightly, all of those were equally real.Â
âWhat should we do to celebrate?â Anton had his eyes glued on his gold medal the rest of the day, unable to store it away for just a second. Every one of you thought he mightâve already developed an attachment to it.
âSleep, rest. We still have our last day tomorrow,â Yujin let out a massive yawn, muscles worn out for the time being to even be able to muster any leftover energy. Unfortunately, you had no choice but to agree with her, the only one who seemed to have enough energy to celebrate was Anton.
âRight, the men and womenâs medley relay finals,â Anton murmured, his enthusiasm for a celebration was crushed after realising he still had one more event to go before being able to celebrate fully. âReady for another round, Sunghoon?â
Sunghoon, who only looked rather dreadful at the mention of their next and last event, showed a frown as a response, thinking about the possibilities that would emerge from the big event. âIâm scared. China and the US ⊠Franceââ
Anton, carefree as always, slapped Sunghoon in the back. âDonât be pessimistic, weâll be fine. Isnât that true, Y/N?â
You averted your attention away from the screen of your phone, looking up and unknowingly meeting Sunghoonâs eyes almost at once. It was unexpected, the intensity of his stare was all you needed to know that he had been stealing glances at you before this. The suddenness of it made you fluster for a second, nearly forgetting what Anton had just said. âYâyeah, you guys will be fine. The team medalled at the world championships anyway,â
âYou hear that? Donât worry about tomorrow. Letâs bask in the glory!â Anton threw his arms around Sunghoon, successfully stealing his attention and giving you a chance to look away, calming your heart that was beating out of control.Â
Taking down one challenge at a time for your forte. With a gold medal secured, youâve succeeded at the main task at hand. Now that your biggest obstacle was gone, there came another tumbling towards you: Park Sunghoon. You swore to yourself youâd get a gold medal first before dealing with that, and since youâve always been someone who stuck to your words, it seemed to have come to haunt you instead.
Mission âtell Sunghoon how you feelâ was about to be tougher and scarier, probably a much higher chance of a heartbreak than any competitions youâd have ever participated in.Â
Who wouldâve known that the Olympics had ended as fast as it started. One day you were just arriving at the village and the next thing you knew, youâre in the airport waiting for your flight home. Four medals won, a friendship mended, many unforgettable memories made, all of which happened in the course of a few months leading up to the Olympics and also the weeks that you spent in Paris.
âWhatâs in your mind?â Sunghoon crept up to the empty seat next to you in the lounge as everyone waited to board the flight. You turned your head to the direction of his voice, your body instantaneously reacting to him before your mind could fully process his presence.Â
âIâm just thinking about how quick this whole Olympics passed by,â you leaned your back onto the seat, Sunghoon following your action without removing his gaze on you.Â
âIsnât it crazy how training started a few months ago?â Sunghoon chuckled at the thought of his first day in a new team that totally freaked him out. That entire nonchalant persona he put on was a complete facade, though he would never admit it aloud. âAnd now youâre going home with four medals,â
âSays the man who has five,â you nudged his shoulder with yours in a lighthearted manner, exchanging a brief smile with him. âItâs weird how six years of us not talking feels like it never happened before, like it was some kind of blip in the matrix. Iâm glad weâre able to patch things up and go back to the way it was,â
âMe too. I missed this. I missed us,â it was odd, the way Sunghoon looked at you with emotions that youâd never seen, the vulnerability breaking through his voice, everything felt intimate, too intimate for just a simple conversation in the middle of an airport with everyone around. He took your hand and placed it in his, soft eyes crinkled in the corners with a gentle smile that he always had around you. âOnce weâre back home, how about you and I take a short trip to our hometown again? Just the both of us like the last time,â
Staring at him, you were quite stunned, blinking feverishly, and at the same time, the feelings that you tried to shake off so many times were returning at that exact second. âIâd love to. We can grab our favourite lunch set like always,âÂ
Sunghoon snorted, but he was nodding along despite the amusement. âYouâre right. We didnât get that when we were there that day,â
âI forgot! Plus, we had lunch with our family, Iâm sure the overdue reminiscing can wait for a little longer,â
âThat is why weâre going to go back for a week or more, do the things we always did and visit the places we went when we were kids,â Sunghoon snapped his fingers, staring at you with sparkling eyes. You could tell he really did miss home and his hometown with you in it. âDo you remember the secret hideout we had? The one in the park?â
âYou mean the swing?â you smiled at the mention of your shared memories, remembering bits and pieces of it that has yet to be brought up until then.
âYes, our swing,â Sunghoon enunciated the word âourâ, a cheeky grin plastered on his lips that told you he was about to say something abysmal. âI really want to go back to that spot with you. Do you still remember that one time you dragged me there at night sobbing because the coach said youâre off by two seconds?â
âOh my God, shut up,â you landed a hit on Sunghoonâs shoulder, the latter continued to laugh at the fond memory, ignoring your eye roll. His laughter and his smile that reached all the way up to his eyes made you feel fuzzy inside, the picture of it was eternally imprinted onto your mind. âI was such an overachiever,â
âYou still are,â he managed to say in between laughters, gradually settling down and unbeknownst to you, his shoulder was pressed against yours, the gap between you and him were becoming nonexistent. âThat is why youâre an Olympic champion,â
You shook your head, waving your hand at him. âPlease, donât flatter me and my ego,â
âItâs true! You really are amazing, you know that?â Sunghoon exclaimed, not a single trace of dishonesty was found in his words, his expressions showing genuinity. If he was able to read minds, he wouldâve heard your mind yelling at you right after that. You were short circuiting, unable to generate a response. âIn my whole life of knowing you, youâre truly one of the best, both in terms of swimming and simply as a person. Youâre smart, kind, talented aâand everything. Frankly, youâre my favourite person,âÂ
Are you in love with me? Because Iâm in love with you too. You wanted to spill that out of your mouth, vomit your inner thoughts and feelings that you held in for so long, wishing you could make it clear to him how you actually feel and stop yourself from continuously confusing everything. What did he mean by all of that? Was it a casual compliment? To you, none of that was casual and normal. What kind of signals was he trying to give?Â
âThank you,â you were breathless, simply because you were barely breathing and you had been holding your breath in ever since the start of his rant. âYâyouâre amazing too, really. Nobody could ever amount to you ⊠youâre my one and only,â was this a suitable time and place to confess your undying love for him, your childhood best friend that you had feelings for? In this airport filled with athletes, being in the city of love, with the clock ticking down to 11:11, you were about to do the unthinkable that youâve been overthinking for countless nights. âI have something to say, actually. Sunghoon, I actually am inââ
âGuys! Time to gather and board!â
F.M.L.
âWhat is it?â Sunghoon stared at you expectantly, eyebrows raised in suspense with a slight frown at the sudden interruption. You, on the other hand, were left with your mouth agape, confession cut short and the perfect timing that you deduced ended up being in vain. There was no way that this was reality. âY/N?â
âIâIâll tell you another day. We have to board,â you gripped onto the strap of your backpack tight enough to drain the blood from your knuckles. The disappointment was on par with the times you lost your lead.Â
âIs it something important?â
âWell, sort of? I guess it is,â
âThen you better remember to tell me when youâre ready, okay?â he wagged his finger at you, smiling softly as if he had noticed the drop in your face and was trying to assure you somehow.
âI will. Letâs get going now.â you patted his back, nodding over at the counter where the athletes were getting their tickets scanned and managing to divert his attention away.Â
âIâm in love with youâ. Itâs simple and straightforward, thereâs nothing hard about it for you to say, but why couldnât you tell him that? Even when you tried to do so, it ended up being in a pile of mess, leaving you dejected in the end.Â
Since when has loving your best friend become so hard? Youâve been doing it for the majority of your life, the only difference was that you were aware that itâs romantic now, so whatâs stopping you? Time? Or was it yourself? Maybe it's the fear of vulnerability that feels so heavy. Every shared laugh, every secret whispered in the dark, suddenly carries the weight of possibility. What if these feelings are too big to fit within the bounds of friendship? And yet, isn't love, in all its forms, worth the risk? Â
You were scared, scared of losing the person you just got back and also the possibility of loving someone who knew your strengths and weaknesses too well.
âYou never told me he tried to hit on you while we were there,â
It was the third day of your one week trip back to your hometown with Sunghoon. After the last two days of being stuck with your own families and having to entertain relatives who were too inquisitive, you and him finally got the chance to hang out together without any prying eyes. Getting out of the city once you were done with your public appearances was the perfect plan, it didnât take Sunghoon long before sending you a text telling you to pack your bags. If only he knew how relieved you felt seeing him pull up to your house like prince charming coming to save the day.
Sunghoon wasnât kidding when he mentioned about revisiting your secret hideout. It was right after dinner, the sun had set and the wind was cooler, Sunghoonâs jacket was wrapped around your body despite his constant nagging.  The night sky was littered with constellations of stars above you and Sunghoon, the two of you were sitting on the swings, the park was mostly empty except for a few lingering figures. Â
âI didnât think itâs important,â you muttered, holding onto the swing that youâve sat on ever since you were only a kid, specifically the right swing while Sunghoon occupied the left.Â
âIt is! Itâs literally Thomas Ceccon. Heâs Italian, tall and hotâŠâ Sunghoon trailed off at the sight of you staring at him with an expression of deadpan, clearly unimpressed.
âSounds like youâre the one with the crush instead,â
Sunghoon pressed his lips into a thin line, sighing out a rather loud and big breath. âWhatever. What Iâm trying to say is ⊠itâs just frustrating, okay? I mean, Iâve heard some things about him before that tells me he isnât the best person. Itâs like he thinks he has a chance or something. You donât even need that kind of attention. Youâre way too good for him,â he shifted his gaze, unable to look at you head-on.Â
You searched for his wandering eyes, the shock you experienced from his words and the harshness in his tone that you would seldom hear gave you a slight whiplash. Was he âŠ? Could it be? Jealousy? There was no way, or so you thought whenever you tried to convince yourself that your feelings were one-sided. The small hope burning internally sparked brighter, though the fear of letting yourself down if the truth turned out to be the opposite of what you wanted lingered. âYou worry too much. I donât think about him that way. I ⊠have someone else in mind anyway,â
âYou do?â his spine straightened immediately, head almost getting snapped from his neck at how quick he turned towards you, eyebrows raised so high they were almost touching his hairline.Â
You nodded, strangely calm and collected, unlike the usual jitters that youâd experienced around him whenever youâre close to revealing the truth. âSomeone who gets me, who knows how to make me laugh. Someone who sees me for who I really am,â you paused, your gaze steady. âBut I guess heâs just too oblivious to notice,â
Silence was what followed after, the suspenseful tension turning thicker by the minute. You watched his expressions being scrunched up in deep thought then changing into a mix of confusion that eventually morphed into realisation where he might begin to piece the little things together. âWhatânoâare you ⊠trying to sayââ
âForget it,â you blurted out, standing up from the swing, feeling your heart burning from your own fear and avoidant. You were close, so agonisingly close and yet, you couldnât bring yourself to face the possibilities of the aftermath. It was always you who chose to break your heart first.  Â
âNo, tell me,â Sunghoon got a hold of your wrist before you could get the chance to walk away, following you suit to stand and facing you straight, never once breaking his gaze that was locked onto yours. You were startled from the grip he had on you, the intensity he had in his eyes felt almost palpable, as if he were searching for the words that had lodged themselves in his throat. âTell me, am I the oblivious one? Is that what you think? Because Iâve been feeling like Iâm walking on eggshells around you, afraid to say what I really want. If youâre hinting at something, just say it. I canât keep pretending I donât care or be completely sane when I see some sleazy swimmer trying to approach you, it drives me crazy,âÂ
The heat of his gaze burned through the air between you and him, a mixture of vulnerability and determination that made it hard to look away. Every emotion he felt flickered across his featuresâfear, longing, and an urgent need for you to understand. It was as if, in that moment, the world around you and him faded, leaving only the raw connection pulsing in the space between your breaths.
âPlease, just tell me,â he urged, his voice low and urgent after seeing your silence. âI need to know if Iâm the one youâre talking about or if Iâve been chasing shadows all this time. Because if thereâs even a chance you mean me, then I canât just let this go,â He stepped closer, vulnerability etched on his face. âIâve been scared to say anything, afraid of ruining what we have. But I canât keep pretending I donât feel something more. So, just⊠say it. Please.â
âDo you really want to know?â you took a breath, your heart racing, knowing you were putting whatever it was about your friendship on the line. âBecause if I say it, things might change between us. Youâre my best friend ⊠and I just canât lose you like this,â
Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, evidently frustrated but trying his best to understand your fears. He could see right through you, you and him were alike in many ways, it didnât take long for him to realise you were scared of losing him again, because to him, that was his fear too. âGod, I hate that word,â
ââLoseâ?â
ââFriendâ,â Sunghoon practically spat out, the word alone was laced with distaste, his chest heaving. He took a step closer, his legs were feeling heavy, the weight pressing onto his chest was becoming apparent. You didnât budge even when his hands travelled to your face, palms rested on both sides of your cheeks. âCanât you see? Iâve laid my heart out for you,â
âThen letâs stop pretending,â you said, your voice was quiet but steady despite the storm in your heart. âItâs you, Sunghoon. Itâs always been you. Iâve tried to ignore it, to push it aside because I didnât want to risk what we have. But every time Iâm with you, itâs like nothing else matters. Iâm scared tooâterrified of losing you, but I canât hide my feelings anymore. You mean so much more to me than just a friend,â you poured out every single undying confession that you had hid as if your life depended on it, desperation and pining was overwhelming you as time passed. âIâm in love with you, Sunghoon, and for as long as I can remember, Iâve always loved you,âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and something deeper shimmering in his gaze, he froze for a moment, his breath hitching as your words sank in. A rush of emotions flickered across his faceâshock, disbelief, and then a dawning realisation that made his heart race. He searched your eyes, looking for confirmation, as if needing to ensure that this wasnât some beautiful dream. A smile broke through the haze of confusion, a mix of relief and joy. âIâm glad ⊠because Iâve never once stopped loving you either,â
For a heartbeat, the world around you and him seemed to pause, your confession hanging in the air like a delicate thread connecting your hearts. Then, as if pulled by an invisible force, he closed the distance between the two of you even further, his hand remained gently cradling your face.
He leaned in, his breath warm against your lips. You felt your pulse quicken, anticipation and fear intertwining as you still couldnât believe this was actually happening. With a softness that took your breath away, he pressed his lips to yours. It was a tentative kiss at first, filled with all the unspoken words you and him both had held back for too long. But as you melted into each other, the kiss deepened, growing more urgent, more passionate, as if you and him were finally allowing yourselves to feel everything you had been denying.
In that moment, the weight of your fears and the uncertainty of the past faded away, leaving only the electric connection between you and Sunghoon, igniting a fire that had always been there, waiting for this moment to finally ignite.
It was unmistakable, the feeling of his smile against your lips, the same smile that you had kept in your mind ever since you were merely kids. Your best friend, your lover, was undeniably your soulmate, the boy who youâve loved since you were merely a kid had returned to your life as if it was fated for it to happen.Â
The smile was still present on his face even after he pulled away, the look in his eyes was enough to convey every emotion that he had. Foreheads resting against each other, breathless and overwhelmed by the intensity of what had just happened, Sunghoonâs eyes searched yours, a mix of wonder and disbelief lingering in the air between the both of you. He looked at you with such love, adoration and admiration as if you were his world, unaware how full his heart truly was.Â
âYou know, that day at the airport, remember the important thing I wanted to tell you?â you were the first to break the silence, hands resting on each of his shoulders, mainly for support knowing your knees were getting weaker as you continued to process what had just happened.Â
âI do,â
âI actually wanted to confess to you about how I feel,â
âReally? In the middle of the airport? L/N, you never fail to amuse me,â Sunghoon chuckled, his thumb caressing the expanse of your cheek. Another choke of laughter was pulled out from him when you attempted to land a punch on him.
âHey! I thought it was a good setting, the vibes were telling me so,â
His smile only widened, there was a sense of softness that he had in his eyes whenever he was around you, this was one of those instances. âI think I wouldnât have made it onto that flight if you pulled that on me. We wouldâve never made it home,â
âYouâre right. It really wouldâve been quite disastrous, wouldnât it? I never thought about the entire outcome,â
âI wouldnât complain spending a longer time in Paris with you,â he removed his forehead from yours, his features becoming much clearer under the glow of the streetlight. His expression softened, a seriousness returning as he took your hands in his. âThis feels right. Weâve been more than just friends for a while now, havenât we? â
âYeah,â you replied, your heart swelling with hope as you recalled every little, detailed moment with Sunghoon that made you rethink your life choices. âIt really does, â
A moment of silence hung between you and him, filled with the promise of something new and exciting. âSo⊠what do we do now?â you asked, a playful grin on your lips, eager to explore this new chapter together as you always did with him for most parts of your life.
He chuckled, his thumb brushing over your hand. âWell, I guess we figure it out together. No more hiding, right?â
âRight.â you agreed, your smile widening as you stepped into the unknown, hand in hand, ready to embrace whatever came next.Â
Under that night sky which you and Sunghoon had shared and walked under all your life, the two of you spent the rest of your time in that park in each othersâ presence, the air around had changed undoubtedly, but you and him were still the same, there was nothing that could possibly change when it came to the two of you.Â
The stars were shining brighter than usual, the moon was round and illuminated, the endless possibilities were now unfolding before you. With every shared laugh and whispered secret, the world around you felt alive, filled with promise and the magic of new beginnings. As you walked side by side, fingers intertwined, it was clear that this moment was just the beginning of a new path youâd be taking with him.
Under that vast expanse, you realised that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you had each otherâtwo hearts that had always been drawn together. In the quiet of the night, surrounded by the glow of the universe, you felt a warmth blooming between you, a certainty that whatever the future held, you would face it together, side by side.
Two months.Â
That was how long it had been since that night you and Sunghoon got together officially, ending the lengthy and obvious tension that existed way before you and him became friends again. Since then, many things have changed and happened. Sunghoon had returned to train under his original coach, the teamâs success was celebrated by the nation from the point youâve returned from the Olympics and praise has yet to stop in the tabloid with the additional excitement for the swimming world cup. Not only that, you revealed your relationship with Sunghoon to friends and family, receiving exciting screams and some âI knew itâ that you shouldâve known was coming. Everything was finally perfectly in place.Â
Fast forward to the present day, you couldnât believe you were actually standing on top of the world. It was the last day of the final stop of the world cup, the aggregate points from all three separate stops were counted to determine the top three male and female swimmers. Safe to say, ever since the Olympics, your drive for success only came out stronger. It was your determination and headstrong personality that drove you past your limits to emerge as the champion of the world cup.Â
Walking out to the stage and accepting the medal was a surreal experience, you wished someone was there to pinch you and remind you none of it was a dream. Never once in the course of the past weeks have you expected yourself to come out in first place with the highest points. Here you were, standing on stage with your fellow swimmers, facing the fans and giving your speeches, proving yet again that you were indeed the ânational treasureâ.
At the thought of that name, your attention averted towards the stands, scanning through everyone to find the person that youâve been wishing to see most. Instead, a big sign that read âMY GFâS A WORLD CHAMPIONâ caught your eyes, the person that was holding onto it peeked out from behind the sign, revealing his true identity, bringing an amused smile onto your face. Park Sunghoon, your boyfriend who has forfeited the last stop for the sake of his health, had never once missed a single event that you were in. You dared to say that he was your biggest supporter, not only for this instance, but for the majority of your life.
As your eyes locked onto Sunghoonâs, the noise of the crowd faded into a soft hum, leaving only the warmth of his smile and the fluttering in your heart. You didnât need him close to feel his warmth, you could tell from the pride and affection hidden in his eyes that you were about to get the biggest hug when he got his hands on you. You raised a hand, waving enthusiastically, and he responded with a playful flourish of the sign, drawing laughter from those around him.Â
In that moment, everything felt right. The adrenaline from your win mixed with the comfort of his unwavering support, filling you with utmost comfort that you needed all along, making every sore limb and painful nights worth it. Even if you were out there alone, you knew, in the midst of every crowd, there always would be someone present, cheering for you no matter what the circumstances were.
That person would be Sunghoon. The man who you would call your best friend, your confidant, but also your lover. It mightâve taken a while to struggle past your differences and misunderstandings, yet, you managed against the tides washing over you and him, building a bond that surpassed everything. Not only was there trust and admiration, but an unmeasurable kind of love was formed. It would be eternal, an everlasting love that couldnât be washed away, leaving you and him together for as long as you lived.
( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )
WHiTE FERRARi â lee heeseung .đ„ Ę Ë
SYNOPSIS â "i'm sure we're taller in another dimension, you say we're small and not worth the mention"
PAIRING â bf! lee heeseung x gf!fem reader
GENRE(S) â angst, heartbreak, nostalgia, romance (with a gut wrenching twist) fluff in one scene if u squint ...
WARNING(S) â emotional distress, angst, unresolved feelings, unspoken love, unrequited love, grief, nostalgia, sad/bittersweet ending, emotional PAIN,
WORDCOUNT â 1.7k
the hum of the engine filled the car, but the quiet between you and heeseung was deafening. he drove with the same rhythm as always, but it wasnât the same. not anymore. the road stretched out before you both, a reminder of how far youâd comeâand how far you had left to go, with or without him.
you glanced at him briefly. his face was stiff, like he was holding onto something, or maybe like he was trying to keep himself from falling apart. maybe you were too.
âdo you ever think about what we used to be?â you asked softly.
heeseung didnât respond immediately. his eyes stayed fixed on the road, his hands gripping the wheel. but you knew the answer, and it cut deeper than you wanted it to.
âyeah,â he finally said, his voice quiet.
you took a deep breath. âme too.â
the silence that followed was heavier than before, and in that moment, everything you had avoided hit you full force.
a flash of a memory surfaced in your mind, sharp and clear, a time when you were both happy, when everything felt so simple.
â
it was late one summer evening, just after the sun had dipped behind the horizon. you and heeseung were sitting on the roof of his apartment building, the city lights below flickering like a thousand tiny stars. he had his arm around you, and you had your head resting against his shoulder, watching as the sky bled into darker shades of blue and purple.
âthis is nice,â you murmured.
âyeah,â heeseung said, voice soft, content. he turned to you, his lips quirking up at the corners. âitâs just us.â
you looked up at him, your heart swelling with something warm and unexplainable. back then, you thought this was forever.
âjust us,â you repeated, and everything felt like it was falling into place.
heeseung looked at you, his gaze gentle, but there was something else in his eyesâa depth you couldnât quite read. something that felt fragile, like it could slip through your fingers if you werenât careful.
âi never want to forget this,â he said quietly, his voice serious for the first time.
you smiled, brushing your thumb against his hand. âyou wonât. i wonât let you.â
â
the memory faded just as quickly as it had come, leaving only the ache of its absence.
you blinked, the present crashing back into focus. the car, the night, the unspoken words between you and heeseung.
heeseung cleared his throat, his eyes flicking to you for a moment before quickly looking away. âi thought weâd be different,â he said. âi thought weâd find a way back.â
âi thought so too,â you whispered, staring out the window. you wished you could reach out, say something to ease the weight that had settled between you both. but it felt too late for that now.
"we were different back then,â heeseung continued, his voice raw. âi thought⊠i thought maybe if i let go, if i gave you space, youâd be okay. but i didnât know how to fix it.â
you let the tears fall then, quietly, no sobs, just a steady stream of hurt you couldnât hold back anymore. you thought youâd moved past this. thought you could exist in the same room with him without falling apart.
âwhy didnât you come back?â you whispered, voice cracking.
heeseung didnât answer right away. you could feel the hesitation in the way he gripped the wheel. the car slowed as he took a breath.
"i donât know,â he said finally, voice barely audible. âi thought i lost you the second i let you go. and i couldnât⊠i couldnât fix it. not after everything that happened.â
you turned to look at him then, the tears clouding your vision, but his face was unreadable, like he was trying to hold everything together, trying not to break.
âi was waiting,â you said quietly, voice trembling. âi was waiting for you to come back. to fight for us.â
heeseungâs face twisted, a flash of pain flickering across it. âi know. and iâm sorry.â
but the words were hollow. empty. he wasnât sorry enough. he hadnât fought for you when it mattered.
you wiped away the tear that escaped down your cheek and let out a shaky breath. âiâm not the same person anymore, heeseung. i donât know if i can go back to how we were.â
heeseungâs grip on the wheel tightened, and for a moment, you thought he might say something else, something to make this make sense. but he didnât.
the rest of the drive passed in silence, and you both stayed locked in your own pain. the road stretched on ahead, but you both knew there was no going back.
AUTHORS NOTE â what came out after listening to white ferrari for the first time in like 10 months.. also lowkey thinking of doing something inspired from that one scene in the notebook where allie was reading the letter in the car !!! idk lmk what u guys think đđ
© callikari -- all rights reserved
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