Out Of Curiosity, And Because You've Mentioned It Before: How Do You Think A Friendship Between Ichigo

Random Incorrect Quotes and Vibes from the Bleach AU I will probably never write (Rukia is killed by Aizen and them in the SS arc)

—-

Ichigo: *feral teenager with slightly cat-like tendencies because of his hollow*

Shinji: 

Sakanade in his head: M I N E

…

Shinji: *explaining the inner hollow and everything that happened with Aizen and how they trained their hollows*

Ichigo: *a nerd who likes literarture and knows exactly what werewolves are*

Ichigo: Can I say something–

Shinji: *has questioned his reality more than once because of this kid’s weird questions* NO–

…

Ichigo: *goes to his inner world to see why the fuck Shiro is constantly screaming in his ear*

Shiro: *leaning over his body omniously with his big smile because he has been seperated from Ichigo for so long and this is the first time they’ve interacted without Old Man Zangetsu getting in the way so he’s happy*

Ichigo: wtfwtfwtf–

…

Shiro: *a feral tiny cat that likes to fight too much*

Sakanade: *a feral big cat the puts him in air jail*

Benihime: *the sadistic instigator*

….

Karin: *snooping through Ichigo’s room because she’s worried and finds Rukia’s asauchi*

Karin: *touching Rukia’s sword after Ichigo told her what happened and feeling a weird jolt or reiatsuand urge to keep it*

Ichigo: *who felt the reiatsu* …

Karin:…

Karin: I have been CHOSEN–

Ichigo: NO–

…

Ichigo: What do you have there?

Karin: A Zanpakuto!

Ichigo: NO!

…

Karin: *facing a hollow while Ichigo was at the SS and losing*

Kangetsu (her Zanpakuto): cAN YoU hEAr mE?

…

Hitsugaya: *looks vaguely like her Zanpakuto spirit*

Karin: *softly* Holy shit

…

Ichigo: Goodnight moon.

Ichigo: Goodnight tree. Ichigo: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

…

Karin: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Isshin: *Joking* Not if they consent to it

Ichigo: *Serious* Depends on who you’re stabbing

Yuzu: *the one sane non-soul reaper in the family* YES?!

…

Ichigo: *walking into his room* Hello people who do not live here

Renji: Hey

Ikkaku: Hi

Yumichika: Hello

Rangiku: Hey!

Ichigo: You’re only supposed to come here for emergencies!

Renji: We were out of Doritos *they’re on a mission, he’s just fucking with him*

…

Orihime: I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name hime?

Ishida: *scared of snakes* You did WHAT–

Ichigo: William Snakespeare

…

Renji: *while they were going to save Rukia* This is such a bad idea

Ichigo: Then why are you coming along?

Renji: One of us needs to be able to talk the Gotei out of arresting us when this goes wrong

…

Ichigo: Do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Ishida: You’re a hazard to society

Renji: And a coward. Do twenty

…

Orihime: If I were a drink, I’d be a strawberry vanilla coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?

Ichigo: Bleach (PUN FULLY INTENDED XD)

Keigo: *he found out ichigo and Chad didn’t fail like him* Sewage

Orihime: *concern*

Tatsuki: Calm down edgelords

…

Okay, that’s it

Some of these were canon, some of these were just random shit from my fic that i might never write

Bruce has to spend a day working an important mission with the league at the watchtower but the kids are bored so he tells them as long as they don’t disrupt the JL’s work they can hang around the watchtower and then get takeout on the way home. they succeed in keeping themselves to themselves but don’t quite manage not being disrupting. this is because Tim convinced them to do a tiktok trend.

*the league, pouring over case files in serene silence*

*heard faintly from three rooms away*

Tim, Damian, and Jason: we listen and we don’t judge,

Jason: my original plan for terrorising B after coming back to Gotham was to start leaving him a bunch of creepy voicemails Taken-style, and the only reason i scrapped it was because i just genuinely couldn’t remember Bruce’s phone number.

*Bruce lifts his head, squinting slightly*

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Tim: when i was nine my camera broke because a rogue that Batman was fighting threw the car i left it in off a bridge and i was so mad at Batman that i sold photos i’d taken of Bruce Wayne wearing a thong on his private beach to the Gotham Gazette to buy a new one

*the rest of the league also lift their heads, staring at Bruce uncomfortably. Bruce shifts in his seat*

Jason: THAT WAS YOU?

Tim: YOU’RE JUDGING WE SAID NO JUDGING-

Damian: i feel like we should be able to judge OCCASIONALLY.

*the league, eyeing each other*

Clark: they wont… post that video online, right?

Bruce, sighing: to the family groupchat, probably.

*heard again from across the watchtower*

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Jason: back in the league Damian’s hamster died and we told him it was natural causes but it’s actually because i set it loose during a meeting and Ra’s freaked out and stepped on it.

Jason: OK DRAWING A SWORD MEANS JUDGEMENT DAMIAN PUT IT BACK-

Diana: should you be… checking on them?

Bruce, dead inside: what am i supposed to do about it?

Ollie: aren’t you in charge of them?

Bruce, completely seriously: i’m not in charge of anything anymore.

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Damian: when I was a child I was forced to kill 183 people and I dream of their faces every night

Tim: Damian I don’t think you understand the game.

Bruce, getting up: I’m going to go-

The rest of the league, simultaneously:

Clark: see if the kids are-

Diana: we can handle this-

Barry: you got this buddy-

Ollie: yeah go- go take a break-

Nicholas J Fury spent one weekend in the 90s hanging out with a cool lesbian and then spent the next twenty years trying and failing to find another superhero with her general degree of competence or emotional maturity

Yet Another Time Travel AU ft. Ichigo With Fractured Memories + TBTP!Kisuke Falling In Love One Cryptic Hint At A Time [Headcanons 2]

[Headcanons 1]

By the time Kisuke makes it back to his division compound and has dismissed his Shinigami, another day and night has passed, it is way too early in the morning to be up, and Kisuke is in no mood to do anything except maybe get some answers and then hopefully get some sleep.

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I'm just so here for Bucky and Steve drifting into each other's orbit without noticing, like they're just making breakfast and next minute they're basically sitting on top of each other eating it. Or when they come home from a mission, relaxing on the couch watching a movie turns into cuddling and snuggles so subtly they have no idea when it happened. How did Bucky's hand get on Steve's butt? Was it always there? Probably. The team is so used to it, but the media isn't. They weren't prepared.

Can you imagine this happening while the Avengers are giving a home interview for the latest and greatest magazine? XD

Bucky and Steve start out on opposite ends of the couch, discreetly exiled apart by the rest of the team because they all know. But the Avengers, they’re a pretty active gang. 

Tony likes to stand and pace while he makes his grand speeches. Clint prefers a higher, distant vantage point and gives most of the interview from the top of the entertainment center. Natasha has to take an official call halfway through the interview.

The whole time, as one person leaves the couch, Steve scoots over a little bit. And a little bit. And a little bit more.

Finally, poor Sam is tightly sandwiched between two super soldiers who are trying their damndest to reach through him for each other.

“That’s it!” He says, jumping up, “I can’t take it. Have at it, see if I care.”

“What?” Steve looks wounded. “Sam, what’s wrong?”

Bucky stares at him weirdly and the interviewer blinks, confused. All three of them watch as Sam goes to sit on the other side of the couch, where Steve started out.

After that, the interview continues for a record two minutes before she stops altogether because Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and Captain Steven Grant Rogers are out and out snuggling on the couch now.

“Um,” she says.

“Ignore it,” Sam advises.

“What?” Tony looks around and then spots the problem. “Oh, yeah, happens all the time. Totally normal.”

“Ignore what?” Steve asks, frowning at them. “What’s normal?”

Bucky’s rubbing his cheek on the top of his hair and one of his hands has snuck dangerously low on Steve’s waist while the other - the flesh one - is playing some sort of game with one of Steve’s hands. Steve’s free hand rests on Bucky’s thigh, definitely higher up than is considered appropriate.

“Nothing,” Sam says gently. He looks at the interviewer. “Next question, please.”

Bucky shakes his head and leans back against the couch, sticking his hand up Steve’s shirt.

“You got some weird friends, Rogers,” he says.

“This is ridiculous,” Clint huffs from his vantage point. “I’m gonna tell them.”

Natasha points a finger at him as she comes back into the room and sits down by Sam. 

“Don’t you dare.”

Do you mind writing more canon compliant!stucky cockwarming Ps love your blog

I don’t mind at all :D

Scenarios to consider:

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I really don't like any version of "Jason learns one tiny fact about how people reacted to his death and immediately is crushed by how unfair he was being and forgives everyone!!!"

However there is one version of this I would allow due to it being very funny, not a complete waste of his character potential, and close to providing real evidence of something that would let him give Bruce a pass:

Superman realizes who the Red Hood is and why he's gunning for Batman and decides to try to straighten things out before the end of Under the Red Hood. He flies over to him and explains that he was the one stopping Bruce from killing the Joker. This gets understood as Supes being the reason Batman still can't kill him. Then Jason immediately pivots his entire life to becoming a Superman villain.

Bruce gets a phonecall: "Hi Dad, I forgive you, and I'm gonna need that 100 pounds of kryptonite back right fucking now."

What do you think that Steve and Bucky do in cannon with the D/S verse when one or the other has a nightmare? Like the nightmares of the shit that really happened. Where they can't say that it was just a dream because it happened. It happened and it's like they're in that moment again. When one of them was dead, then they thought that they were going to die. When everything in the world was crashing down. When it's all too much too fast and they can't get out of their heads?

That really depends on the nightmare!

Like, say for instance that Steve had a nightmare about Bucky falling. He wakes up with so much self-hatred and guilt because he believes it’s all his fault and for a number of reasons.

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Please tell us more about slutty virgin Steve there is not enough of him

Slutty virgin Steve:

Has been in love with Bucky Barnes since 1934, but was always to afraid to act on it/say anything re: Bucky is a ladies man and homosexuality was very much a crime.

Wakes up in the twenty-first century and is still Very Gay, but he doesn’t /do/ anything about it because 1) he has conditioned himself to be quiet and private about his preferences and 2) to him, Bucky died, like, three days ago.

Jerks off to thoughts of being smol again and Bucky pinning him down and fucking his mouth. Is very sad afterwards.

OOP BUCKY’S ALIVE 

Bucky’s alive and he comes home and he spends some time recovering in the apartment he shares with Steve now, etc etc, anyways.

Bucky is alive and Bucky is... a Grade A Beefcake. Steve’s sad jerking off becomes guilty jerking off, but it’s more than that, because now Bucky is constantly around and he’s wearing sweatpants that ride too low on his hips and Bucky likes wifebeater tanks and Steve’s horny level has been turned up to eleven (11).

Steve is only sneaky and quiet when he’s on the battlefield.

Steve is neither sneaky nor quiet when he is experimenting with fingerfucking himself in the shower.

Bucky is a good listener—especially when people are actively saying his name out loud. 

(Steve showers, and Bucky listens.)

(Bucky also finds a new, unfamiliar razor in said shower. A smattering of little black dark blond curlies clings to it. Bucky thinks about Steve shaving himself smooth and testing the new grounds with the tips of his own fingers and biting his lips until they’re as red as his cheeks and Bucky fucks his own fist and paints the shower wall.)

Steve shops online for dildos on his tablet, but he can never bring himself to check out his shopping cart, too much internalized shame, too scared someone will find out.

Steve has considered exploring phallic objects that do not come from adam and eve dot com, but 1) zucchinis do not have a flared base, and Steve thinks safety is Very Important and would literally have to off himself if Bucky had to drive him to the ER because he got a squash stuck in his rectum, and 2) Steve grew up in the Depression. Steve does not waste food.

So Steve shameshops for dildos online, buys zero (0) dildos.

Steve is bad at browser security. 

Steve and Bucky share a tablet.

Bucky checks out the shopping cart.

A package arrives one day from a nondescript sender, and it is addressed to Steve’s attention. Bucky picks it up and takes it into the kitchen.

“Package for you, Stevie.”

“Oh? Okay, um. Don’t remember ordering anything...”

“Open it then. Find out.”

“Uh, yeah. Okay.”

(Bucky files it away in his mind to scold Steve later—ten spanks should do it—for being an idiot who opens strange packages just because big, beefy soldiers hand them to him)

“Whatcha got there, Stevie?”

“It’s... um... I don’t think they had the right—”

“Show me.”

“... No.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s not mine.”

“What’s not yours?”

“This. All of it. I think someone played a prank on me.”

“Just show me, Steve.”

“I. I don’t want to.”

“Are you really saying that everything in that box—whatever it is—is totally unfamiliar to you? You’ve never seen it before?”

“...Yes.”

“...”

“That is what I am saying.”

“...”

“...”

“Steve?”

“... Yeah, Buck?”

“Do you want to take me up to your bedroom and show off what the mailman brought you?”

***

(It’s dildos.)

(The mailman brought dildos.)

[x]