Hello. Your Koyonagi/Ichigo Story Is Really Amazing. Thank You For Writing Such Wonderful Stories. I

I just love (thick)Bucky being using any excuse to put his hands on Steve. The Xmas tree is too tall and nobody can decorate the top? ofc he will grab his guy's hips and lift him up so that he can decorate it (plus, he gets to have his face at the same lvl as That Ass). And then ofc when he puts him down he makes sure to rub as much as possible against Steve's back while Tony and Clint have their usual dramatic reaction :')

I have the feeling that if Bucky were eye-level with The Ass, there’d at least be a lot of talk about eating Steve out / enthusiastic rimming and an even more enthusiastic fuck in Steve’s future.

And the rub down when Steve’s being lowered is the filthiest sort of promise. His hands on Steve’s hips, keeping him close even after Steve’s got his own footing, rolling his hips into him nice and easy while whispering something in his ear that makes Steve blush something fierce. 

He’s putty in Bucky’s arms, melting against him. Probably feels so deliciously tiny, Bucky’s broad hands spanning his hips, Bucky wrapped around him like Steve’s still five foot nothing, even though Steve technically has an inch or two on him now.

Clint and Tony are having a breakdown while Rhodey is tucked away in the corner, texting direct quotes to Coulson so that they can use it in their next fanfic.

i've just decided you're all wrong and the actual funniest scenario of the league not knowing bruce has kids until they take his place as batman during league meetings is the scenario where bruce never even asked them to pretend to be batman.

when he can't make an important meeting he sends either jason or dick in his place just as themselves, because if he can vouch for them as proxys then why would the league have an issue with it? they just need to show up and say they're there to take notes for batman or something, there's no need to lie. he doesn't even realise that his identity is being stolen until he shows up after a meeting he sent a sub in for and when he shows up everyone is staring at him awkwardly.

batman: what's everybody looking at

green lantern: nothing! we're just... concerned.

flash: yeah... how was your surgery?

batman:

batman: what surgery

green lantern: ...well you ran out of the meeting last week yelling about how you were going to be late for your 'piles removal operation'

green lantern: so uh. how'd it go big guy?

batman:

batman: i wasn't here last week. jason was.

the league:

flash: who the fucks jason

batman:

batman: *slowly turns to superman, who is staring at the table stubbornly*

batman: clark-

superman: THE KIDS SEEMED SO EXCITED TO DRESS UP, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE BORING UNCLE AND SAY NO!

bruce ends up calling jason in front of the league to demand an explanation and clear his name. jason straight up doesn't even remember what he did.

jason, on call: oh hey B, thought you were at a JL meeting this afternoon?

bruce: i am. what happened last week?

jason: i sent tim the report to hand over already! i didn't get all of it though, i had to leave real quick towards the end because damian was threatening to set my safe house on fire if i didn't pick him up from school

bruce: and the league let you go early?

jason: yeah i made some excuse, i think i said-

jason: *pauses, remembering what he'd done*

jason: oh my god

bruce lays his head on the table while jason laughs through the loud speaker for the next eight minutes.

In Guard, how does the whole . . . *waves hand vaguely* THING with Sui-Feng and Ichigo and Kisuke and Yourichi go?

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Well we had a whole discussion over on discord about Ichigo reaching the legal drinking age (whatever the heck that is for Shinigami) and Yoruichi getting him drunk to pry some embarrassing secrets out of him, except instead Ichigo spills about Sui-Feng to her instead and later wakes up remembering nothing but half the compound has been reduced to smoking ruin after Yoru went on a rampage while Kisuke totally egged her on.

…It was very cracky. Here’s something a little more serious.

(*Note: My original idea had Aizen + extended war as the reason Ichigo and Kisuke had to leave their original universe but it could just as easily have been the Quincy War gone wrong, so I think I’ll go with that instead.)

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Have a Bleach extended-winter-war time-travel-fix-it idea. In this AU Kaien's death happened before the whole turn-back-the-pendulum arc. (Yes, another Bleach time-travel AU, I know, shut up.)

As Ichigo and Kisuke are planning to go back to the past, Kisuke makes sure to emphasize to Ichigo that they have to protect Shiba Kaien. Apparently, it's of the utmost importance.

Ichigo doesn't know exactly how Kaien's continued well-being plays into saving the future. Kisuke never really explains it, or gives him a straight answer when he asks. But Ichigo knows that the Shiba Clan-Head carried a great deal of political power, and Ichigo also knows that Kaien -- according to Kukaku and Rukia -- was highly competent, incredibly noble, and fundamentally kind. It's not exactly unintuitive that a person like that could be important to bringing down Aizen.

So Ichigo listens, when Kisuke tells him to protect Shiba Kaien. He memorizes how Kaien died in the original timeline. He's attentive as Kisuke reiterates for the thousandth time that Aizen will keep trying to assassinate Kaien until he succeeds. He takes notes when Kisuke hypothesizes about what Aizen's various assassination attempts might look like -- poison during a meal, hired assassins at night, an ambush during a mission.

Ichigo ingrains the assignment into his core: protect Shiba Kaien, because if Kaien falls, the mission fails.

So when Kisuke slips a paralytic into Ichigo's tea and places Ichigo in the middle of the time-travel kido array and drains the entirety of his own spiritual energy to activate the array, a sacrifice that Ichigo never would have agreed to--

Well. The first thing Ichigo does when he arrives back in the past, numb and alone and only able to function by focusing on the duty that is his purpose -- is track down Shiba Kaien.

After all, if Ichigo is going to kill Aizen -- and he is, no matter what it takes -- he needs to keep Kaien alive.

Ichigo goes straight to the Shiba family grounds. In true Shiba fashion, they accept him immediately as family. They tend to his wounds and give him a meal and welcome him home. They let him get away with his weak excuses and explanations, and they defend his presence to the rest of Soul Society.

Kaien, in accordance with everything Ichigo has heard about the man, personally takes the newest addition to the family under his wing.

Ichigo's plans to deal with Aizen take shape around his need to keep an eye on Kaien.

Ichigo, instead of running as far and fast as he can from the Shiba clan, accepts the offer to live in the Shiba compound. He gets to know every clan member and retainer, subtly vetting for traitors. He sleeps in a room near Kaien's, allowing him to both guard against assassins at night and place warding runes around Kaien's door without having to worry about being caught somewhere he has no business being.

He joins the Court Guard in the 13th division instead of the 5th, because the only real way to protect Kaien on a mission is to be there with him. Ichigo knows that if there's an ambush, or if the mission details have been tampered with, he'll be more than enough fire power to get Kaien out of it. And it's easy to always get paired with Kaien; Kaien -- reliably taking every opportunity to hover around Ichigo that he's offered -- does most of the work, leveraging his status as lieutenant and Ichigo's combat ability to keep them together.

Ichigo finds himself frequently taking meals with Kaien and Kaien's friends. Kaien always invites Ichigo, and Ichigo accepts so he can subtly check the food for poison.

(Ichigo does not tell Kaien about Aizen. Ichigo is still unsure what Kaien's role is in the whole fight, and in the meantime, telling him about Aizen is a sure way to get him killed.)

Things heat up. Ichigo prevents both Miyako and Kaien's death, killing Metastacia before it can hurt anyone. Ichigo's shadow war against Aizen gets more intense. Ichigo sneaks out regularly to dismantle Aizen's illusions, destroy his labs, and attack his network of power, slowly weakening him.

Ichigo waits for the assassination attempts against Kaien, but they don't come, even several weeks after Metastacia fails. Ichigo takes it as a sign that he's got Aizen distracted.

Things continue for a while. Ichigo falls into a strange routine.

(And Ichigo tries not to break, seeing so many of his loved ones alive and unknowing of him. It is agony, to be around Shunsui, who is not his mentor, and the Visored, who are neither visored nor pack.

But the worst is when Captains Urahara and Shihouin catch on to his war against Aizen. He finds himself working with them as allies.

Allies. Mere allies, instead of --

Well. Not that it matters anymore.

All that matters is his duty.)

Time passes. Aizen weakens. There are no attempts on Kaien's life yet.

And then Aizen's web has unraveled enough for Ichigo to attack.

It's a long battle. It's a bloody battle. It's a very public battle.

Ichigo wins.

And it's only after it's all over -- after Aizen's crimes are revealed and Soul Society is at peace and the future is saved; after Ichigo finds himself still alive and adrift, with nothing left obligating him to keep going and everything telling him to give up; as Kaien refuses to leave Ichigo alone and escorts him to regular appointments with Unohana and forces him to talk about the truth of his past --

It's only then that it clicks.

Ichigo is whispering secrets about the future into Kaien's chest, Kaien's arms wrapped tight around him, when Ichigo confesses that he messed up, that he put the Shiba clan in unnecessary danger. Ichigo tells Kaien about his death in the original timeline. He talks about how Kisuke told him that in this timeline, Aizen would try and kill Kaien again if the first attempt failed. Ichigo promises desperately that he never would have sought out the family -- would have kept the danger far, far away from them -- if he hadn't thought he had to watch Kaien's movements so closely.

And Ichigo admits that Aizen never actually tried again. Ichigo admits that he and Kisuke miscalculated, that Ichigo brought danger to the Shiba's doorstep for nothing.

It happens like this:

First, the words leave his lips, "Kisuke" and "miscalculated" in the same sentence. Hearing himself say it lays bare the absurdity of its premise.

Then, Kaien draws away slightly, to look Ichigo in the eyes. Ichigo sees, plain on Kaien's face, a terrible, damning gratefulness.

Then, Kaien says -- fierce and defiant in the face of what could have been -- "I am so glad you came home."

And it clicks. At last, Kisuke's final manipulation reveals itself to Ichigo's eyes.

The emotions flash through him: the sting of betrayal; a flavor of love that bursts across his tastebuds as hurt; a familiar brand of exasperation that, a split second later, has his knees giving out under the weight of old pain made fresh.

Kaien catches Ichigo before he hits the ground and holds him as he shatters. And Ichigo can barely breathe through the knowledge that Kisuke would have been so smug to see them.

A sob rips itself from Ichigo's chest, and it's followed by another, and another.

Ichigo's older cousin holds him, in the home of their family, through it all.

_________

THE END except not really.

This must immediately be followed by a whole arc where Kaien, much to his own dismay, finds himself trying to hook Urahara up with his little cousin.

After all, Future-Urahara sent Ichigo to the Shiba clan. Future-Urahara tricked his little cousin into bypassing his own self-destructive tendencies to seek out family and love and support. Clearly, Urahara would actually be good for Ichigo.

And, you know, Ichigo clearly loves Younger-Urahara, judging by Ichigo's whole... well, everything, whenever the two interact.

(This whole matchmaking endeavor is made easier by the fact that 1) Kisuke is already infatuated, fascinated, and not a tiny-bit madly in love, and 2) Yoruichi is also, from the other end, trying to set Kisuke up with Ichigo.

This whole endeavor is made more difficult by the fact that 1) Ichigo is in denial that he loves this younger Kisuke since he never thought this younger Kisuke could also fall in love with him, 2) Kisuke is in denial that he loves Ichigo because that is a Shiba and he himself is a creepy low-born ex-assassin mad-scientist, and 3) neither Ichigo nor Kisuke know what it looks like when someone is interested in them.)

Poor Kaien. He succeeds eventually, but not before witnessing truly legendary social ineptitude.

Jason is that one unemployed sibling who texts you weird shit at 3:27 pm on a Tuesday.

Like, Dick, sweating his ass off in his police uniform getting a text from Jason, which btw, extremely rare- and it's just a Twin tomato (two tomatoes grown as one ykwim) and captioned w "ur ass"

or Tim is in the middle of his board meeting and he gets an email from Red Hood and hes like stressing out chcking it only to find a pic of his apartment's kitchen's pantry asking "why dont you have salt?"

and then damian coming back from school to see his phone full of texts from Jason and it's all pics of ugly animals and every pic is captioned with "u" "u again" "wow u"

Bruce getting a morse code going "check phone" and it's a video of Jason flying away on an alien helicopter contraption with Roy yelling after him asking him to get down and jason saying he doesnt know how this shit works.

Been thinking about Bruce, tying Jason down and worshipping him. Paying special attention to every single scar, whether visible or not, that he caused.

A soft kiss pressed to Jason's abdomen, feeling it flutter as Jason tenses. Little nips of teeth between Jason's legs, the fractures having healed years ago, but the ache remains. Licking along the faint scar on Jason's neck, and kissing back down it to Jason's collarbone.

Bruce whispers sorry after each one. So quiet in the room, and only just loud enough over Jason's gasps. It's not enough. It'll never be enough for his boy. Bruce could say "I'm sorry," and "please forgive me," and "I love you" until he was blue in the face, but it would never be enough to chase away the guilt.

So he worships, and lavishes Jason in a way that he hopes conveys the depths of his feelings.

Until Jason is shaking and sobbing and feeling seen and loved and remembered. Bruce resting his forehead against Jason's as he finally sinks down on him, both breathing the same air, reminding each other they're alive.

has this been done already

more Aishin! (a little nsfw

random bleach time travel inccorect quotes from an AU I will probably never write (Ichigo becomes soul king post tybw cause yhwach body doesn’t hold up and then time travels to the Turn back the pendulm era for reasons I’m too lazy to explain)

Ichigo joined Squad 6 under Ginrei Kuchiki in this AU

…

Ichigo: *likes sitting in the sun, hates the rain, touch starved but still prickly enough to pretend he doesn’t like it ‘cause he was soul king for three years and barely had any proper human contact for all that time, has weird eyes and other weird traits from his hollow*

Hiyori + Kaien: *spying on him*

Ichigo: *straight hissed at someone who got to close when he was injured*

Hiyori: *ticks something else off on the list of reasons why Ichigo might be a cat in human form*

Yoruichi, the real cat shapeshifter:

…

Love: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Ichigo: Plane tickets?

Shinji: Concert tickets?

Lisa: Prostitution?

Love, holding holding his broken sunglasses: Glasses.

…

Hollowified!Shinji: *Screams*

Hollowified!Hiyori: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Kisuke, concerned: Should we do something?!

Ichigo, observing: *thinking back to his hollow training and how much the Visored fucked with him for fun*

Ichigo: Nah, I want to see who wins this.

…

Kensei: Dammit, Mashiro!

Mashiro: What?! It wasn’t me!

Kensei: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Shinji!

Shinji: Not me either.

Kensei: Oh…Then who destroyed the entire training ground?

Ichigo + Kaien who thought it would be fun to spar but went a little too far: 

…

Ichigo: *Gently taps table*

Kaien: *Taps back*

Hiyori: What are they doing?

Kisuke: Morse code.

Ichigo: *Aggressively taps table*

Kaien: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

…

*Lieutenants on a mission*

Kaien: I think we’re missing something.

Lisa: Teamwork?

Hiyori: Cohesion?

Ichigo: A general sense of what the fuck we’re doing?

Kaien: … Where’s Mashiro?

Mashiro: *fighting a bear in a forest three districts away*

Lisa:

Hiyori:

Ichigo: … Fuck

Kensei: *in Squad 9 barracks* I  S E N S E  A  D I S T U R B A N C E

…

Shinji: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Kisuke: Is it me?

Shinji: No, it’s not you.

Tessai: Is it me?

Shinji: It’s not you either.

Aizen: Is it me, Captain?

Shinji, dying because of Hollowification:

Shinji, mockingly: Is IT mE CaPTaIN?

…

Kyouraku: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Kisuke: I’ve been dissociating for the past two and a half hours.

Ukitake: I got distracted about halfway through.

Lisa: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

…

Ichigo: Can I be frank with you guys?

Kaien: *confused* Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Mashiro: Can I still be Mashiro?

Shinji: Shh, let Frank speak.

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *lunges at Shinji*

…

Ichigo: *trying not to laugh* Tell Kensei about the birds and the bees.

Mashiro: *serious* They’re disappearing at an alarming rate

…

Yoruichi: Soifon, keep an eye on Kisuke today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Soifon: Sure, I’d love to see Urahara get punched.

Yoruichi: Try again.

Soifon, sighing: I will stop Urahara from getting punched

…

*The Visored+ Hollowified!Kaien is getting into a car*

Ichigo: *the only one who know how to drive* I’m driving

Mashiro, out of view: Shotgun!

Kaien, turning to face Mashiro: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Mashiro: WOAH-

Mashiro, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

…

Lisa: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Hiyori: *turning to Shinji* How tall are you?

…

Kaien: 

Ichigo:

Kaien: In my defense–

Ichigo: You have no defense you let Byakuya meet Gin

Kaien: but–

Ichigo: Byakuya. The same cocky shit that tries to fight anything that moves fast enough. And Gin. The creepy shit that thought it was a good idea to work with megalomaniac rather than talk to people

Kaien: You don’t have any room to talk about bad communication but in hindsight it wasn’t my greatest idea–

Ichigo: understatement of the century

Kaien: But I was bored and you have to admit it was a little funny

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *covering his face because the sight of baby Byakuya getting punted into the Kuchiki Koi pond by baby Gin was actually hilarious but he refuses to admit it* I hate you

…

Kensei: I sometimes drink milk straight out of the container

Mashiro: the COW?

Kensei:

…

Kisuke: You have to apologize to Shinji

Hiyori: Fine.

Hiyori: ‘Unfuck you’ or whatever.

…

Kaien: I told Ichigo his ears turn red when he lies

Mashiro: Why?

Kaien: So I can do this

Kaien: Hey, Ichigo! Do you love us?

Ichigo, covering his ears: No.

Mashiro: Aw, Berry-tan

Ichigo: Shut up, seaweed brain!

…

*Shinji and Kisuke sitting in jail together*

Shinji: So who should we call?

Kisuke: I’d call Hiyori, but I feel safer in jail

…

Shinji: Hey, how old are you?

Ichigo: Twenty-four–

Ichigo *remembers that the soul society doesn’t have the same age system*

Ichigo: two hundered

Shinji: 

Shinji, concerned: did you just say–

Ichigo, nervously: TWO HUNDRED

…

Shinji: What do you think Ichigo will do for a distraction?

Kaien: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*several building explode due to Getsuga Tensho*

Kaien: … or he could do that.

…

Kisuke: I know you’re a time traveler, Kurosaki-san

Ichigo: (Play dumb!)

Ichigo: Who’s Kurosaki?

Ichigo: (NOT THAT DUMB!!!)

…

Love: What’s a word thats a mix between 'sad’ and 'mad’?

Kensei: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Mashiro: Smad

Kaien: Ichigo

Ichigo:…

…

Shinji: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Kensei: You’re a hazard to society

Hiyori: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

…

Ichigo, babysitting: Violence isn’t the answer.

Byakuya: You’re right.

Ichigo: *sighs in relief*

Byakuya, reaching for a brick: Violence is the question.

Ichigo: What?

Byakuya, running to hit Gin on the head with a brick: And the answer is yes.

Ichigo, running after him: NO-

Ginrei, watching the chaos while drinking tea: … Today’s a beautiful day

…

Kisuke: *Accidentally hits Hiyori in the face*

Kisuke: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry’ and 'Are you okay’*

Kisuke: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Hiyori, confused: What’s wrong with you?!

Shinji: *wheezing in the background*

…

Ichigo: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Mashiro: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

…

Kaien: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Mashiro: They do.

Ichigo: … Why did you say that with such certainty?

…

Shinji: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

…

Kisuke: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

…

Kaien: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Ichigo: Killed without hesitation.

Kaien: No.

…

Kisuke: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Ichigo: What did you do?

Kisuke: Nobody died.

Ichigo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

…

Kaien, euphoric from his date with Miyako: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Kukaku: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

…

Aizen, trying to be friends with Ichigo b4 he died: I made tea.

Ichigo: I don’t want tea.

Aizen: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ichigo: Then why are you telling me?

Aizen: It is a conversation starter.

Ichigo: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Aizen: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Ichigo:

Ichigo: *two seconds away from a homicide

…

Mashiro: what is it called when you kill your friend

Ichigo: Amicicide

Kensei: Murder

Mashiro: Homiecide

…

Ichigo: *looks like Kaien and Isshin*

Kaien: *suspicious but has no proof*

Ichigo, lying becuase he doesn’t want to deal with the emotions that come with seeing Isshin again: I’m not a Shiba

Ichigo: *uses Getsuga Tensho*

Kaien, throwing a table: oKAY, I CALL BULLSHIT

…

Ichigo: *having a chill day in Rukongai by himslef

baby Rukia, Renji, and their gang: *chased by a merchant they stole from*

Ichigo: 

Ichigo: *adopts them*

…

Okay, that’s more than enough for one post

Yes, Kaien is hollowfied here because I want him to be, yes, I really like adding animalistic traits to characters I love don’t ask me why

This is so much longer than I planned but it was too fun to stop

Your thoughts on sex pollen? Maybe Steve gets dosed on a mission and he needs *someone* to help him take care of it, but he and Bucky aren't together yet (just both in the mutually pining stage). So Bucky volunteers to take a bullet for Steve, to get to have him this close (but not really). Steve's crying out "I love you, I love you" the whole time and Bucky just tries his best to ignore it, because it's just the drugs talking, right? And after, Steve must feel so bad for "taking advantage."

My thoughts on sex pollen are “hell yes,” tbh.

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