So I Was Going Through Your Uraichi Tag And I Came Across That Picture Of Ichigo Crouched Between Urahara

if i was 26 and had just woken up from a 70 year suicide-induced coma with no one in the present remembering who i am and instead conflating me with the ever changing image of the role i played in ww2 that now serves as american propaganda and 2 weeks ago i was watching guys get half of their faces blown off and a week after that the love of my life fell off of a moving train with me only being able to watch and then i had to like... deal with a billionaire nepo baby war profiteer calling me an old man and saying there's nothing special about me i would have started killing people. but unfortunately it happened to steve rogers. and he has, like, morals. so

I think Jason should be allowed to manipulate his family with the "oh, you are my favourite, actually" line. It sounds very flattering to them (because Jason? Jason-I-Want-Nothing-To-Do-With-This-Family-Todd? Admitting you are his favourite? Oh, the hundred per cent bust of ego!) and more to say, this system of manipulation is eternal.

They can argue with each other as much as they want, but none of them would believe the other — Jason Todd is too tsundere to say something like this aloud, to each of them. So, someone is lying. For sure.

(And they are too self-assured in themselves to doubt that they are his favourite. Also, Jason makes every manipulation, specifically individual. So, it is not like he repeats the same confession and reasons. Very believable. Aka: this family needs someone to be open about their love, so they latch on everything and everyone who is willing to admit that openly)

Dick, slightly frustrated: Why are you asking me this favour? You know, I don't usually do these sort of things, I don't really... I don't know, it is too dangerous, I don't like the whole idea.

Jason, face dropping: Oh... Sorry. I shouldn't ask you, just... Dunno, I thought since you are my only big brother, and... Urgh, I guess I am still too attached to you more than to others. You are right. I'll ask Timbers or—

Dick, with his eyes suspiciously wet: oh-

Dick: NO, no. I'll do it. Don't worry. Big brother got your back, Lil Wing!

Tim, frowning: So, am I getting this right — you want me to hack into some system in someone's high school to fix the diploma of a kid who got a ONE bad grade—

Jason: He needs this scholarship. He is a kid of the streets! He can't do it otherwise, and it is not like the world would collapse if you fix one grade!

Tim: Yeah, I don't care about morals, I am just confused. Why would I want to spend my time on this, I am pretty sure—

Jason, dead ass serious: You know I don't like to communicate with this family. I only ever love talking with you, so sue me for thinking you could do me a favour.

Tim, instantly smirking: Ah, so I am your favourite... Well-well, big brother, I guess I can do this.

Damian: I am *not* going to tell you what our father is planning to do with this specific villain. Who do you think I am? An idiot?

Jason, sighing: Damn, and I really thought we had each other's back since League of Assassins.

Damian, scoffing: Emotional manipulation will not work on me.

Jason, all confused: Why would I manipulate you? From all people? I didn't raise you to fall on shit like this.

Damian: Tt.

Damian: Fine. Since, I guess, I owe you for babysitting me...

Bruce: Jason, I appreciate your... strive to help me, but nothing has ever gone well when you worked on cases like that. Let me handle this, and—

Jason, silently sitting down on the armchair, hands on his head: (sniff)

Bruce, panicked: Jaylad?..

Jason: I get it. I really do. No matter how much I love you, no matter how much I keep choosing you over anyone in this family, you don't love me anymore. I really understand it. I... I came in peace with it. I just wished you would tolerate my work... a little bit. You know?

Bruce: No, no, sweetheart, I— I am your favourite?

Jason, sniffling angrily: Who else it could be, old man?

Bruce: Oh. Oh, Jaylad— (instantly hands him the case)

(The family dinner)

Bruce, mentally humming to himself: Oh, these kids have NO idea that I am Jason's favourite because we are connected like that ^•^

Dick, mentally beaming: Oh, no one here has an idea that I am Jason's favourite because I am his big brother and protector! :>

Tim, mentally laughing evilly: Oh, these flops have no idea that I am Jason's favourite and that he wishes I was his Robin!

Damian, mentally kicking his feet: None of my family members suspect that I am Akhi's favourite because he was practically my nanny through all childhood. Tt.

Jason, munching on food: Lol

completed series-

Do you hate yourself? (hotch centric)

Why do you hate yourself?

Who do you think hates you?

No one hates you except for you

Not everyone hates him

You should hate yourself (Alternative ending)

Chasing Cars (hotch x male oc)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

College AU (hotch centric with side couples)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Epilogue

Winning a Battle, Losing the War (hotch centric)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Alternative Ending

work in progress-

His Feelings for Him (hotch x morgan)

Part one, Part two

the warnings and summaries are in each fic.

jason comes back to gotham as red hood and the batfam have no idea who he is or that he has anything to do with the league of assasins until during a wayne gala theres a hostage situation and before bruce or anyone can figure out a way to go suit up a crime lord appears and saves everybody only to have a publically friendly catch up session with.... damian wayne.

damian covers to the press afterwards that its because of red hoods 'i dont hurt kids' rule and that he'd met the guy a few times in crime alley before he was dumped on bruce's doorstep. gotham's citizens are slightly concerned but honestly? the scary stabby child that's been glaring at them from the corners of parties since he got here with absolutely no backstory or history in gotham turning out to have a past with crime alleys most infamous protector/crime boss? it's a little comforting.

it's less comforting to the bats.

damian, getting out the car after the gala: I don't know what hood was thinking, making me his public ally. he's lucky the simpletons of this city bought that, don't you agree father?

damian: *turns to see the rest of the family staring at him with hard eyes*

damian:

damian: ...what did i do?

everybody's less than pleased that damian withheld the info that red hood is trained and from the LOA, but damian simply maintains that they never asked. when further questioned about why his relationship with hood was so familial and about what his identity is... they get

damian: hood was perhaps my favourite tutor back home, the only one i didn't kill. he taught me many things, from how to poison somebody to famous quotes and sayings from classic literature.

bruce: what. is. his. name.

damian: you know what one of those sayings was? 'snitches get stitches'

dick: *slams his face into the wall*

tim: well you did want him to be more childlike.

they eventually have to move past it because damian won't budge, unfortunately jason is finding this whole scenario fucking hysterical because holy shit he'd thought about coming back and pissing off his family through their secret personas but he hadn't even considered the beauty of coming back and pissing them off through their public personas.

and from then on the entire batfamily has to deal with pretending to be nervous or wary every time the red hood comes and crashes their very real wayne public events. it's fucking incredible. jason can't believe that he was gonna try and beat the shit out of tim to freak out bruce when all he had to do was grab a glass of champagne, walk up to the dude, and ask politely how stocks at WE are doing. 'brucie wayne' has no fucking clue what to do, and jason just poured the champagne against his helmet and let it all fall to the ground and everybody's too scared to say anything.

nobody else bats an eye when red hood becomes an occasional presence at these fancy events, apart from the people who know for a fact they could be on his shitlist. mostly because this is gotham, but also because they know he's a crime lord so like... riches and business running wise he kinda fits the bill for these things anyway? and if the stoic kid of brucie wayne eases up around him then the whole 'i dont hurt kids' thing must ring true so it's not like he'll cause too much trouble. also the guards are too scared to tell him he's not allowed in, so there's that.

the bats hate everything about this. they don't even know what red hoods game is, they have no idea why they're being tortured and they're getting paranoid about it. damian's absolutely no help because he's just happy to 1. get to see his brother on a regular basis again, and 2. get to see his brother find a less self-destructive outlet for the pit rage he's watched jason struggle with for years.

it's also just really fun to watch tim accidentally fall asleep against a wall mid-gala, wake up to red hood's helmet 2 inches from his face, and then almost break his own hand trying to punch it because he forgot that he wasn't in-mask and had to hold back last second.

dick is mostly just indignant because every time red hood shows up and hangs around near damian, damian immediately becomes a picture perfect public persona, interacting with the elites of gotham with the same expertise of tim or bruce. he's so mad that a crime lord can wrangle HIS little brother in public but he can't, that he completely disregards the whole crime lord thing and starts bugging red hood both in and out of mask about how to be a better older brother to damian. at one point he corners red hood on a rooftop mid patrol.

nightwing: ok, seriously, when I asked damian not to be rude to the new investors he told a woman her coat looked like it would hold up in a fight against two-face, but when YOU ask he becomes a model citizen, what is UP with that?

red hood, being an asshole: *gasp* y-you're.... YOU'RE RICHARD GRAYSON?

nightwing:

nightwing: ....oh my god you didn't know?

red hood: no i fucking knew you're just an idiot. and damian listens to me because I'm the only tutor he could never kill and he knows i'll beat his ass with my magic swords.

nightwing:

red hood: and also im the only one at the league who played Just Dance with him so i get special privileges, like telling him what to do.

dick asks damian to play Just Dance with him that night and damian just looks at him all forlorn, like 'it wouldn't be the same without the exhilarating thrill of knowing if anybody catches us hood will be stabbed and thrown in the lazarus pit again as punishment for corrupting me... it was really an unfair punishment considering he replaced grandfather's bed with a plastic pool covered by a sheet once, and the only punishment he got for that was being banned from the family dinners for two weeks'

dick stares at him. damian just adds 'he used to sit outside the window like a dog. watching and occasionally yelling about the injustice. mother gave him a plate of roast potatoes through the window once. grandfather disapproved.'

nobody knows quite what to do about red hood becoming a gotham elite, but they are becoming more concerned about damian's family's dynamic every goddamn day.

ok so i just discovered your blog a few days ago and i am obsessed! i have been reading everything you've written and i was just going through your stuck trash tag and there was this line "(haaaa, you think Bucky scarred people in That Ass? You got no idea; Steve on sex pollen would make Fury blush.)" please please please elaborate!!! steve on sex pollen is amaaaazzzing

oh, bless ;_;

tbh, I think it would be hilarious if sex pollened!Steve is how everyone finds out that Steve & Bucky are an item.

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Honestly tho Bucky saying "I'm sweet on you" just might be MY everything. I mean just how much more sappy and charming as hell can a person be?

I cannot agree enough tbh.

I like to think that this is the biggest surprise of all for everyone in the future. Sure, they all knew that Bucky Barnes was a charmer. The history books say he was a shameless flirt and popular with the ladies, after all.

What no one expects is to realize what a sap he is. He’s so goddamn sweet to Steve all the time, he even makes an effort on his bad days which is…saying something, honestly.

Watching the two of them flirt is probably the weirdest experience for them. Captain America, getting shy? 

I get the feeling that when Bucky thinks he’s gone far too long without kissing Steve that day - and let’s be real here, it does happen at least once a day - he sidles on up to Steve, gets right in his space to tease him with the possibility of said kiss, and asks low and playful, “hey, sugar, you rationed?” just to see Steve blush.

Bucky’s been dropping that line since the ‘30s and Steve still hasn’t stopped blushing over it. It’s possible he never will.

“Maybe,” he says back, breathless.

“Lucky guy,” Bucky purrs. “Havin’ a dime like you on his arm.”

“I don’t know, sometimes he can be a real jerk,” Steve complains and then takes the kiss they’re both itching for.

They make out like a couple’a teenagers, Bucky only breaking the kisses to bestow more on Steve’s cheeks and jaw and neck, muttering things like, “Christ, you’re gorgeous,” “my best guy, y’know that? always been my best guy.” “can’t believe you’re mine, fuck I’m the luckiest bastard alive,” “Jesus, Stevie. So goddamn sweet on you, don’t know what to do with myself.”

Steve clings to him and soaks it all up, gets a little drunk on it. It’s been far too long since anyone treated him the way Bucky does - like Steve is something amazing, instead of his alter ego - and his praise kink definitely resurfaces with a vengeance once they’re back together.

Also, Steve - like Bucky feels re: Steve - is constantly surprised by the idea of that Bucky likes him best out of everyone. These boys and their insecurities, I swear.

Alright, but you're gonna keep the secret, right?

jason: why are you looking at me like that?

damian, age 4, wondering why jason looks white if he's his brother: you're colored wrong

jason: what the fuck?

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure

Masterlist

(I understand any confusion! If you can’t find a specific fic just send me an ask with the title and I’ll tell you where to find it/give you the link **and a description in the ask would be great  because I don’t typically remember the titles**

The College ADHD hack thing

Hotchniss

Hotchgan(Mortch)

BAU FAMILY

Hotch-centric (AUs/Backstories)

Hotch Dynamics (Hotch + certain character interactions)

Reader Inserts

Whump

Grounded: Hotch pulls you off a case… you’re not happy about it

Head Cannons

List 1

List 2

Whumptober

“Let’s Hang Out Sometime”

“Get it out”

“I think I’ve broken something”

“Psych 101″

“Breathe in and breathe out”

#MoreHotchContent2020

The Gift: Dad!Hotch

“A Hug”: Emily & Hotch get hurt

School: Dad!Hotch dropping Jack off to school

Drive-By: Garcia kisses a distracted Hotch’s head

Cancer AU: A Cumbersome And Heavy Body

Chapter One: Tired of This Body

Chapter Two: Impatient They Start, Fearful at the End

Chapter Three: I’m Treading For My life, Believe Me

Chapter Four: How to Disappear Completely

Chapter Five: They Told Me That The End Is Near

Chapter Six: Looking In Their Eyes When They’re Down

As Long As It’s You: Mortch Boston AU

Chapter One

Chapter Two