Just To Put This Out There For Other Cap Fans, This Week (8/16/2017) Marvel Is Re-releasing The First

So, today, Marvel published issues of comics revealing that in fact the Nazis were always supposed to win World War 2, and the Allies invented the Cosmic Cube to rewrite history to prevent that from happening. 

That was released today. April 19th.

The anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, the largest Jewish revolt during World War 2, the first urban uprising in Nazi-occupied Europe, begun when the Nazis decided to completely wipe out the Warsaw Jews on Passover eve. Instead, the Jews held out for nearly a month, with whatever they could fight with. They’re honored to this day. 

And Marvel published their Nazi-stanning dumpster fire of a retcon today. 

“Two things only the greatest fools do: throw stones at hornets’ nests and threaten a Witcher.”

Happy (belated) Birthday, @spacebuck! 💜Here’s Steve as a witcher, come to fuck shit up.

my art

OMG this is the best  XD

stevetony will never be canon, keep dreaming

there goes all my hopes cRUSHED, anon. all of this time spent shipping them meANINGLESS. empty. how will i gO ON knowing that they will never be elevated to the mythic untouchable status of canon. it’s so sad that all i have is

steve riding tony

steve defending naked tony’s honor

the way tony likes to launch himself face first at steve in order to protect him

tony stark: steve rogers’ personal chauffer

it’s

kind of

a thing

for them

but let’s not forget

steve carries tony out of burning buildings in the bridal carry

in fact steve guest stars in an iron man comic just to carry tony out of a burning building

the fireman’s carry is actually reserved for the cartoon

marvel funded & created a CGI animation film featuring 71 minutes of them sassing each other and taking names

once upon a time the current writer for the avengers, jonathan hickman (2012-present) implied that tony’s method of choice to make up to steve were blowies

and yes he might be torturing us all but at least he’s man enough to admit that the avengers is really about their relationship

and is that surprising i mean there’s an entire comic that’s based on a narrative arc, again, aBOUT THEM

comic writer brian michael bendis on how avengers: prime was framed as an adventure they had to go on to remind them why they love each other so much

here it is in tony’s own words

tony looking like he’s having a religious experience and seen the light or smth while being hugged by steve

60′s comics written like all the best terrible fanfiction where tony stark refers to steve rogers’ eyes as clear azure and composes poetry about his grace and daring

“i know you believe in the future, but i believe in people. and i choose to believe in your, iron man.”

retro comics were just really gay

animated tv show avengers assemble opens with steve facing off against red skull, his presumed “death” is the catalyst for tony reforming the avengers. their mid-season finale ended with tony “almost dying”

not very pg-13 for a kids’ show if you ask me

it’s really also extremely gay

tony stark no. 1 fanboy

in all the universes

what’s his username? captain america. what’s his password? captain america. foolproof. no one would ever guess. totally unhackable.

avengers tower: home and HQ of the earth’s mightiest heroes but also the site of the one and only “cap tribute room”

all the best superhero bases have framed portraits of captain america it’s interior designing 101

in fact tony thinks steve’s pretty no matter what skintight navel-bearing costume he’s wearing

tony thinks ultimates cap just so happens to be america’s hottest president

“CAPTAIN HANDSOME”

“good morning beloved” to which steve answers without even batting an eye

are they flirting??? was there really another horse?? we just don’t know

“where is here? is this a dream? tell me it is, tony. tell me you can wake me. tell me i’m not going to die in my sleep. don’t let this old soldier just fade away” – marvel comics?? or soap opera love story?? who can even tell the difference???

pictured: assorted superheroes with representatives from the avengers, the fantastic four, the x-men discussing how much tony and steve love each other while in the background steve and tony have a conversation

a married couple and leaders of the next generation of avengers referring to steve and tony as the mother and father of the avengers

sometimes they hold hands

actual canon universe earth-3490 where cis female tony married steve and their marriage helped end the civil war.

“mr. stark, when i woke up in this era, i had no one, nothing. you gave me a purpose, somewhere to belong. you gave me a home.”

tony and steve’s lips have touched bc tony was giving him cPR TO SAVE his life at the risk of his own

tony referring to the day he met steve as the greatest day of his life

civil war: the confession. where tony stark admits to steve rogers’ cold dead body that worse than the equivalent of selling his soul, alienating half of his friends and family from him, destroying his moral integrity combined, the one thing he couldn’t live with was steve being dead

“maybe… maybe there was a reason you had to be on the other side of every argument. how you could be my rudder, steering me when other’s couldn’t… i don’t know if i can do it without you… i certainly won’t do it as well…”

like they’re standing there reincarnated as walking corpses and steve’s missing half his face and they’re still acting like an old married couple

“guess they’ll have to learn to love me. you did.”

they jOKE ABOUT HAVING THE KIND OF ROUGH SEX THAT REQUIRES SAFEWORDS.

why dream when i have all this cold hard reality staring me in the face

Tony’s Confession (X)

male writers writing male characters: This Bruce Killshot. He has over 10000 confirmed kills and is the top leading spy in the Super Hard To Get In Spy Organization Of The World. He is a master of every martial art and can use virtually any weapon with ease. He’s not only a Real Gruff Man but a Ladies man who smokes cigars while Having Sex With Beautiful Women but he never gets attached. He’s a hard Whiskey Drinking Man who once killed an elephant with a toothpick and bottle of glue.

Men: this is so realistic wow such a complex character….

A woman: This is Angela she’s the chosen one of this story and has a natural knack for magic and can-

men: this fucking self insert mary sue this is fucking trash are you kidding me 

*adjusts glasses* I’m sorry, Mr. Evans, but it appears that your request to conclude your run as Steve Rogers has been denied due to *highlights portion of document* the lack of a legitimate Captain America 3 film. Please re-submit your request when said movie has been filmed and completed, thank you 👍🏻

Steve Rogers + the ‘Captain America" fandom

These are two different scenes???? I don’t understand

AVENGERS: ENDGAME (2019) - dir. Joe & Anthony Russo