"why Do You Ship [charater] X [charater] Its Never Gonna Be Canon!!" Because I Can And I Think They Work

So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.

I'm going to try it.

people say the Brucie Wayne persona isn’t believable but if I caught Bruce Wayne drunkenly lying under a desk in an office he shouldn’t have access to with a ream of secure documents and he replied to my “Mr. Wayne?” with “Mr. Wayne was my father—oh god, my father” and then started sobbing, I would 100% back away and leave him alone. like that shit would work on me every time.

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

Bruce Wayne as a dad, but he doesn't try to reprimand his kids, he just acts like everything is his 13th reason:

"Jason, if you throw that guy off the cliff, i am also jumping off after him."

"Dick, if you don't get down from there, I will stand under the chandelier when it falls down."

"Damian, if you cut that head off, i will walk into your sword."

"do you go to your people or do you go to your person" ma'am it's episode one, it's too early for crazy lines like this

what if someone started a kitchen fire and then got yelled at by everyone else over twitter?

MHA tweets- special edition 😤

roy calls jason his wife because jason is a clean freak and their shared living spaces WILL be clean on god. jason keeps threatening to become a widow if roy doesn’t stop calling him that. and then also i think roy absentmindedly holds jason's waist sometimes. is this anything

Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.

Considering that Jason canonically accepts easily if someone gives him money and even intentionally asks it sometimes for his Service, I need Tim to pay him on occasions when he is in trouble and needs to distract Bruce.

Bruce: Timothy Jackson Drake Wayne.

Tim: Woah, not the full governmental name? What did I do?

Bruce: Wanna explain where the... 3 million went from my bank account?

Tim, who promised Bart and Kon, built a whole ass trampoline park for them along with other stupid shit, BUT who doesn't want to spend his personal money, so he wastes Bruce's: Well.

Tim, pressing an automatic button on his phone that sends Jason money and his location: Yeah, actually. You see...

Bruce: Well?

Somewhere from the town: *a loud sound of explosion*

Bruce: What—

Tim, absentmindedly: Oh, horrors, it is Jason's episode again. Seems like he blew up something.

Bruce: Oh my fucking g—

'you never read anymore, you used to love reading' and i have 200 safari tabs open. it never stopped it just got weird