Bruce, Texting Jason: Text Me When You’re Home Safely.

reading fanfiction and something so horrifically embarrassing happens you have to leave the app and take an instagram reels break

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

literally 😭💚

when Duke needs backup in a fight he uses his powers to blast bat-signal-esque signs into the sky to call for whatever sibling is best suited for the job. each sibling hates their calling sign, and even worse, they actually have to respond to it because Duke only uses them when he’s like three minutes away from dying so they literally have no choice, like if their symbol shows up they have to fucking BOLT over there regardless of the indignance or Duke will not make it

Jason: the middle finger emoji

Damian: a somehow detailed image of the Boss Baby

Dick: just the word ‘slut’ in bubble letters

Tim: the red robin restaurant logo, complete with ‘gourmet burgers and brews!’ underneath

Steph: a taco, in reference to a time when she was drunk one night and Tim got on video her chasing down a moving taco truck insistently only to face plant into the side of it when the driver finally stopped to let her buy one

Cass: her regular symbol, because shes the only one he respects completely and it drives the others insane to have one sibling un-harassed

Bruce doesn’t have one because he refuses to call for Bruce. Alfred has one, a shotgun, although it’s never been used, and it pisses Bruce off to no end.

Happy Valentine’s! 💖💖💖

Robin is freaking out about how she hasn’t had her first kiss yet and Steve’s like, “Hey, I’ll help you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, “Not with me, obviously. I will find you someone.”

This leads to a whole month where they’ll go to a party/bar/club and Steve will bring over a random man and just leave him there.

Robin is just ?????????

She feels like she’s reading this wrong because to her, it seems like Steve is implying that she should make out with these objectively good looking guy and - and - finally she explodes, “Do you know what a lesbian is?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay, then why do you keep bringing guys over to me??!!”

Steve gives her a baffled look, says like it’s obvious, “So you can have your first kiss.”

“Why?” She asks through the insanity. “Would. I. Want. To. Do. That?????! I’m. A. Lesbian.”

“…oh, Robs,” Steve says like he gets it but proves that he really doesn’t when he adds, “A first kiss feels like it’s really important but it’s not. So you just do it with anyone to get it over with.”

“I’m a lesbian.”

“So?? My first kiss was with Tommy,” Steve shrugs. “Why would you want your first kiss to be with someone you like? The first kiss is always bad.”

Robin just stares at that revelation and then looks at the clock. It’s getting late but they can be tired for work tomorrow. This is a conversation she needs to have now.”

AU where Damian feels really bad for hurting Tim but won't admit it out loud, so he goes into over protective mode.

... I made a part 2...

...Part 3...

EDIT: PROSHIPPERS GET OUT OF HERE YOU GOOFS

??? Void Introduction

*camera starts recording. A shadow appears on screen, and in the abyss where a face would be stars twinkle on the other side of a black hole. They wave at you.*

Hi everyone, my name’s Andy (they/them). I am the ghost of-

*lights flicker, not because of anything paranormal but bc someone broke in off camera and started chucking salt everywhere and tripped over the lights* not that kind of ghost, god fucking damn it not aGAIN-

*camera glitches. The lighting is fixed. The only human thing about the Void is their frustration. The nebulas floating across their form manage to convey the utmost annoyance.*

Hi. I’m the Void, or the Abyss, and you can call me Andy. I’m the ghost of universes that once were. *squints at someone off camera, celestial orbits clearly raising a frying pan just off frame* if you mention the multiverse I swear to god-

*camera glitches*

So yeah, I’m travelling around, dipping into different stories and fixing them up, trying to give them a happier ending, y’know?

*if the Void had eyes, they would be sad. Instead, there is only the constant drift of broken planets and colliding stars.*

I’ve seen so many things end badly for the people, or characters, involved, I want to try and make it a little bit better, one story at a time. Like the Good Place, except in the found family sense and not in the making me bawl my fucking EYES out at the end-

*camera glitches*

-just a silly little nerdy cosmic mess trying to have fun. I hope if you are interested, check out my blog for talking about my stories, to the writing process, to just generally fun things to talk about. I hope if you do put some faith in this Not-Universe, you enjoy reading or chatting, and that it makes you smile. If you do, come talk to me! I’m always looking to meet new people whenever I drop in on another world.

Even if you don’t say anything, have fun, and remember: you are never alone, even if you can’t see all the stars surrounding you.

*The sweet moment is interrupted by the thumping footsteps of a large animal of some kind, and something knocks into the camera, sending it to the floor as the Void, meteors flying, tries to shoo the beast*

Sorry, Ghost gets a little over excited when he meets a new friend- Ghost, quit slobbering all over me you oversized bread basket-

*camera glitches to a close up of a very ruffled Void, dwarf planets askew and stardust swirling as they hurry to say farewell* Ok, enjoy! Bye!

*camera cuts*

Bruce: Okay, let me get this straight-

Tim: More like let me get this bi you. 

Jason: Let us ace-ess the situation. 

Dick: Let’s see how this pans out.

Damian: I’m gay. 

Bruce: 

Bruce: That’s all great and all, but WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KITCHEN FIRE?! 

Something i find hilarious about the bats is the fact that all of them - though some do it more (Bruce) - will double down when they realize they're actually wrong.

Kon: *Clearly frustrated and annoyed* "God you're ridiculous sometimes, Tim! Penguins do not eat other birds!"

Tim: "You can think that, but you're wrong."

Kon: *appalled noises as he storms out.*

Damian, who walked in at the end"..."

Damian: "Drake, do you really believe that penguins eat other birds? That's incredibly idiotic."

Tim: "Oh. Yeah, no, i immediately realized i was wrong the minute it left my mouth, but Kon laughed at me and called me dumb and I was NOT letting him get away with that."

Damian: "Tch, that's so immature."

Tim: "Oh, so you're going to tell Jon that you actually can't breathe under water for a half hour and you meant to say a quarter of an hour?"

Damian:"..."

Damian: "Point taken."

Jason: *Watched the whole argument like it was a TV show* "Really, it's the responsible thing to do. If we admit we were wrong about one thing, they'll think we're wrong about other things when we aren't."