4 Strategies To Avoid Wordiness

4 Strategies to Avoid Wordiness

Wordiness is when a sentence contains words that, if removed (or replaced with a shorter alternative), convey the same message and remain grammatically correct. It may happen when you use more words than necessary within a sentence, especially short, vague words that do not add much meaning.

Omit unnecessary words by using a "who does what" construction (Take out: it is, there is, there are, which, that, this, and self-references such as in my opinion, I think, it seems to me.)

Wordy: It was a night that was dark and freezing when the ship Titanic was struck by an iceberg.

Better: An iceberg struck the Titanic on a dark and freezing night.

Avoid too many abstract and difficult words

Wordy: “Conservatism is the paradigm of essences toward which the phenomenology of the world is in continuing approximation” (William Buckley, Jr.).

Better: Conservativism is the belief in absolute values whose expression change with the times.

Shorten sentences by rearranging ideas

Wordy: The president of the school board that presides over Dade County schools is accepting of the participation of students in alternative classes of their choice.

Better: The Dade County School Board president allows student to choose electives.

Omit repetitious words and ideas

Wordy: The cookies are baking in the oven. The cookies are chocolate chip.

Concise: The chocolate chip cookies are baking in the oven.

Notice how the wordy phrases below can be reduced to one or two words:

along the lines of = like

as a matter of fact = in fact

at all times = always

at the present time = now, currently

at this point in time = now, currently

because of the fact that = because

by means of = by

due to the fact that = because

for the purpose of = for

for the reason that = because

have the ability to = be able to

in the nature of = like

in order to = to

in spite of the fact that = although, though

in the event that = if

in the final analysis = finally

in the neighborhood of = about

until such time as = until

More Posts from Rodionratskolnikov and Others

10 months ago

Okay y'all, going forward, this is what we're doing.

Shit's scary, I know. But we absolutely cannot afford to surrender to that fear, because that benefits the GOP. They want us to feel powerless, because they know we are not powerless. That's why they have so many shills and bots discouraging people from voting.

We will not demoralize ourselves and each other by doomposting in our moments of panic. If we have a panic attack, that's okay. But we are not going to spread that fear to other people in public. We will save our most scared thoughts for our private journals and close friends. And we will support our friends who are feeling hopeless.

We will remember that spreading awareness of Project 2025 and Agenda 47 has been hurting Trump. And we will continue to do this.

We will remember that right now, our only option is Biden, because without ranked choice voting, getting a third party candidate in is simply impossible. We might not like it, but that's why we're going to push like hell for ranked choice voting once we get his pruny old ass in to office for a second term. (And thank God, he can't have more than a second term; the Democrats will have to find someone else afterward.)

We will not spread conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theories are the weapon of the enemy. We don't need them.

We will not publicly mock Trump in all of this. Making Republicans feel even more victimized is a losing strategy. "But it's my blog-" I'm sorry, are you playing for political keeps or are you just here to fuck around and put everyone's life in even more danger?

We will emphasize the ways that Project 2025/Agenda 47 will hurt everyone. And we will keep talking about it.

We will remember that the UK and France have already avoided far right takeovers in their elections.

All right? You got that? Because we got this if we stick together and keep at this. Shit's bad right now but that doesn't mean it has to be bad forever. We got each other, and we can do this.

5 months ago

sedation vending machine (holiday edition)

it sees you when you're sleeping it knows when you're awake it knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness' sake


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6 months ago

Good morning true blue Patriots, are you ready to start the steal?

6 months ago

If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.

Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:

'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.

'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.

'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of voted was not valid.

'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.

'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.

But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.

9 months ago

…this just sounds like asmr.

Mind control that doesn't dominate your thoughts, it just... is your thoughts. Perfectly rewriting your will and everything it embodies. Not a single trace of resistance because this is just what you want. Why would you resist your own thoughts? Why would you disagree with your own motivations, your own desires?

Mind control that doesn't shatter once it's done, it just disappears. You don't snap back into awareness. You barely even notice. You just continue as if nothing ever happened. Maybe one moment you look back and you frown, because thinking on it, you remember when you happily followed that person out of town, and you remember what you did, you remember wanting to... but that's crazy. Why did you think that was okay? Why did you want to do that?

Or maybe you were under this mind control for so long that even once it's over you look back and say, "Oh, of course I did that." As far as you're concerned you've always held the beliefs you do now. You've always wanted to do these things. You don't remember why, but you've never had to think of why, and it doesn't matter anyway when you've always been so confident that you're right. It isn't until you're challenged on it all and reminded that you never used to be like this, that you were different before, that something has changed that you finally falter. And you try to think of where this all started, try to figure out why things changed -- and all you can really remember is an entrancing pair of eyes, and a gentle suggestion, and then your own mouth responding, "That's a great idea. Let's go."

And suddenly, you realise that you have no idea how much of what you are, what you were, and what you believed you always have been is just a lie. You don't know whether any thought you have now is really yours or just another preciously placed prompt. You don't trust your impulses, you don't trust your desires, you definitely don't trust your judgement.

You don't trust yourself. And you never can again.


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6 months ago

Since u guys keep saying this book is actually about toxic/doomed yoai and not about the government

Since U Guys Keep Saying This Book Is Actually About Toxic/doomed Yoai And Not About The Government
8 months ago

OP i agree with all of this, but I’d also like to add that the “survival” theme Newman was going for goes against the entire point of the original novel. THE WHOLE POINT of 1984 originally was that through loving each other, Winston and Julia were able to do more than survive, they were able to find scraps of joy and meaning outside of the Party. In fact, that’s a major reason why the Party suppresses interpersonal relationships, because it exists by monopolizing the energies and activities and feelings of it’s citizens, and to do this, it keeps them in a state of mind where there sole focus is survival (via war, economic insecurity, repression, etc). By loving each other, Winston and Julia are able to transcend the survival mindset, until they are captured and tortured, which works because a total focus on survival, and the all-consuming fear that accompanies it, crowds out one’s mental space, leaving no energy for interpersonal love.

by reducing Julia’s motives to survival, Newman is denying what makes the Winston/Julia romance a meaningful form of resistance.

Julia by Sandra Newman is a terrible book and here’s why

“Julia never actually liked Winston Smith, she actually thought he was pretentious and annoying.”

So why does she repeatedly tell him she loves him

“She’s lying.”

But why

“She was a honeytrap by the Thought Police.”

But she acts surprised when the Thought Police come to arrest her

“She’s been told to act surprised.”

So she’s just doing as she’s told for the entire novel and never makes any decisions for herself

“Yes! It’s what she has to do to survive! That’s the point of the book!”

Really because she never once says that when she’s being used as a whore for the Thought Police, if anything it seems like she’s motivated by the prospect of getting a new flat, plus she seems to put actual effort into adopting the party’s ideology, so clearly it’s not just about survival…

“Okay so Julia’s motivations are a little confused, but this book adds so much that Orwell didn’t consider in the original!”

Like what

“The Holodomor.”

Jesus Christ…

“No, but it’s the survival theme again, she sells her mother out in order to escape the famine!”

Okay, and how does she feel about that?

“She doesn’t, she was only a kid, she can’t hold herself responsible.”

Really? Because Winston held himself responsible for the deaths of his mother and sister, and he was only a kid, it’s part of what makes him so complex…

“Well that wouldn’t work here anyway.”

Why not?

“Julia’s mother makes her do it.”

Are you serious? Does Julia make a single decision in the entire story?

“Of course! She runs away at the end.”

What, when she’s seven months pregnant and has been tortured and starved for months? I thought this was supposed to be about providing a woman’s perspective on the original; what woman would choose to go for a cross country run in that physical state?

“Julia’s built different. She doesn’t even get scared when the rats jump onto her face.”

Why would she? It’s never established that she was scared of them in the first place!

“She bites one of their heads off.”

Cringe, then what

“Oh, then they just let her go.”

You cannot be serious

“Of course! They’ve got to use Room 101 at least a hundred times a day, so she just runs out the clock.”

And how does she figure that out

“She doesn’t, someone…”

…tells her to do it, quel surprise

“No but this character is a super cool badass female OC who O’Brien plagiarises because he has no ideas of his own.”

Are you aware of the irony of writing that in a book that wouldn’t exist without Orwell’s original

“Yeah but Orwell’s protagonist is so whiny!”

He’s a victim of a totalitarian regime, what do you expect

“Yeah but he’s so self-important!”

And that’s his downfall, in his hubris he falls into the most obvious trap in the world, O’Brien lures him in with the masculine power fantasy of being a resistance fighter and Smith pays the price by being carted off to the Ministry of Love to be tortured to death.

“The Ministry of Love isn’t that bad, Julia makes it out okay.”

Yes, that’s the problem, Julia survives everything

“She does get a nasty scratch off one of those rats…”

In the original it’s implied she got lobotomised

“That wouldn’t work in this version.”

I shudder to ask, but why not

“Because she needs to live long enough to see the regime fall.”

And how long does that take

“About six hours after the end of the original.”

Are you fucking serious

“And then she meets Big Brother face to face!”

Big Brother isn’t fucking real

“In this version he is.”

So you have a protagonist who survives the horrors of a brutal famine, the Ministry of Love and Room 101 with barely any emotional or physical damage, then after a heavily pregnant hike she gets to meet the final boss of totalitarianism face to face, and you think Winston is self-important?

“Did I mention that she’s queer in this version?”

Is that supported by the text of the original in any way at all

“No.”

Then why. Why to any of this. If you hate Winston so much and you have to change every single aspect of Julia to shoehorn her into your batshit headcanons, why write a book about them, why write a book about 1984, why did this get published, why is this getting good reviews. Why. Why. Why to any of this


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6 months ago

Reblogging this for obvious reasons

The Sound Of Music (1965) Dir. Robert Wise
The Sound Of Music (1965) Dir. Robert Wise

The Sound of Music (1965) dir. Robert Wise

9 months ago
My Friend Sent Me A Really Good Pop Team Epic Strip Over 2007 Rodyas Big Coat

my friend sent me a really good pop team epic strip over 2007 rodyas big coat

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rodionratskolnikov - Rodion Ratskolnikov
Rodion Ratskolnikov

The weirdo in the back of your English class. Toxic yaoi enjoyer, but I’ll also post about my other things.

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