The Worm Question

The Worm Question

Genre: Fluff

Format: Oneshot (wc: 900)

Content: gender neutral reader, Izaya being a little controlling (just in case), Izaya being bad at feelings

Notes: I just want to comfort him fr, he's my messed up little meow meow.

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The room was oddly quiet. A rare moment of peace, where all you heard was keyboard tapping, books being shelved, and the hushed noises of the city. This type of moment had grown unfamiliar ever since your relationship with Izaya.

If it were up to you, right now you would be at home, snuggled in bed. You would count the stars visible from your window, and let the moonlight kiss your eyelids as you drift to sleep. 

But it wasn't up to you. It was up to Izaya.

Last time you tried to go to bed without him, he had you fired from your job so you wouldn’t be as tired. The defense he used was that he could support you no problem, therefore, working a meaningless job was just a waste of your time and energy. Besides, all you did was complain about it and wish you could quit, so why wait? Once you got past the shock that he made the choice on his own, you realized he was right. That job drained you of everything you had, yet you felt obligated to stay. After all, the moment Izaya gets bored, you'll go back to being just another human, right? Yes, he should have included you, but you've come to learn that Izaya has an odd way of showing that he cares. So, instead of a restful evening, you sit on the couch in his office and wait for him to finish up whatever last minute work needs to get done. To fill time, you read a book. It wasn't particularly interesting, but it gave you something to do.

At some point, the keyboard stops. You stay focused on your book, waiting for Izaya to announce the end of the day like he always does. For a moment, you only hear distant cars. So, you startle a little when Izaya suddenly appears in front of you. He stands there for an awkwardly long amount of time as you continue to ignore him. Sighing, he sits down next to you, folding his arms behind his head. 

You’ve come to recognize this behavior as a test, as you expect most of his actions to be. But right now, you aren’t feeling up to being his entertainment. Not sparing him a glance, you turn the page, creating an almost deafening sound in the silent room. He remains still, and you start to consider reaching over just to make sure he’s breathing. Before you decide, he speaks up.

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

Behind you, Namie poorly stifles a laugh as she leaves to go home. You close your book and rest your elbow on top of it, rubbing your eyes. The questions he asks are never literal, so you take a moment to try deciphering what answer he’s really looking for. Was he trying to annoy you? Was he looking for a deep philosophical discussion about the morality of a human loving something that isn’t human? Is this a weird jab towards Shinra?

When no punchline is delivered, you peek past your hand at him for a clue. His head is propped up by his arms, facing forward with his eyes closed. There was a slight furrow in his brow, and his entire body looked tense.

Was he actually just asking for validation in the strangest way possible?

It’s no secret that Izaya is horrible with vulnerability. At times, your relationship felt like a mutual agreement to exist in each other's space and nothing more. Even ‘love’ was a foreign term outside of his blanket remarks, neither of you venturing to use it in a personal context. Regardless, you thought he had a little more dignity than to hide behind a school girl question like that. You set your book down on the coffee table before swinging yourself into his side.

“If you were a worm,” you pause to snuggle closer to him, “I would put you in a big tank of the richest dirt I could find, and feed you little cut up strawberry pieces.”

He doesn’t respond, although you feel his shoulders relax. Both of you stay like that for a while. You take note of the fact that his heartbeat is slightly quicker than usual, and his breathing is a little deeper.

"Do you think," he shifts to create some distance, "Worms can even feel love?" 

"Izaya, you are not a worm."

His eyes peek open to look at you. That wasn't the answer you were supposed to give. To have no regard for the careful dance around his true meaning, is boring. Not even a smile cracks his face as he stands up, ready to leave. You grab his wrist.

"Worms are a lot less complex than humans," your words bring a slight twitch to the corner of his mouth, "They don't think, nor have emotions in the first place. And if it were any other worm, I wouldn't care. The important factor is that it's you."

Despite his attempt to keep a neutral expression, you still notice the light in his eyes when he looks back at you. A swift grin splits his cheeks to cover up with his usual bastard energy. "How cute," he coos, pulling his arm from your grip, only to take your hand in his.

He may never acknowledge this moment ever again, but the tight squeeze around your palm says more than enough.