My Rant About Ensemble Casts

Tom Nook Is An Asshole

I give him the money. I am free of debt! He extends my house. Demands I pay him more. I am pulled into debt. I grind for Bells. I pay him. I am free! he builds more. He upgrades his shop. The building materials required to upgrade my ever expanding house cost so little that Tom Nook can go from a hut in the woods to a fully electric 7-11. What have I been paying for Nook. How many times will you upgrade my house. The inevitable Nook Costco and my labyrinthine house scare me and yet I am a slave to the capitalistic raccoon dog. Maybe at one point his shop will consume the fragile wooden spire that my home has become and I will become a part of the great nook warehouse that this town has warped into. What Remains Of Edith Finch looking house. The cycle continues.

Penis

No! Fuck you! I will not just cum! I will not nut for you! MY DICK IS AN ANCIENT BEAST THAT REQUIRES APPEASING!

Girl smell so strong in the pit I watched two girls cum and die

My body is a machine and it's this one

BECAUSE IT FUCKING HATES ME

I'm a massive loser who can't draw for shit but things like this MTG card make me love art more and more. Not only is it's sleek, angular aesthetic extremely visually appealing and an interesting interpretation of angelic imagery but the way the joints leak that warm heavenly light really feeds into that feel of beyond understanding and beyond our creation. Also mechanically the card uses prototype a card mechanic I quite like as mana flexibility is very useful and let's me play it early or hold it for a larger payoff. The hidden upside to this card is it being a white cost creature for prototype so I can play it in my shitty Elesh Norn commander deck and it's clean art fits phyrexian themes quite well. I'm a simp for the junji ito art.

I refuse to sleep tonight

I'm back and I brought my MIND BOMBS!

Ok so I have about 1 fan for these silly little posts and I have decided that now is the time to start doing them again. I took a break because of college but also because I like procrastinating and didn't feel ready to push myself to write more silly little analyses. Enough about me though its cardboard time. Mind Bomb to me has very vivid imagery. It was created originally in 4th edition before magic started being wholly coherent. Magic was still finding its footing and the border is a testament to that. I ended up with this card as one of my first MTG cards; my dad had bought me a random 1000 card job lot off of ebay and in it was contained a bunch of cards from across a massive portion of magics history. Some Lorwyn, some Futuresight and many more but this one and many of the other classic cards had always struck me with their bizarreness.

The card itself works in quite an interesting way with it allowing any effected player to substitute its damage for discard instead. I view this is in a way where one word of its name is emphasised more than the other, mind and mental effects usually being associated with the loss of cards whilst the bomb being a clearly vicious and destructive physical force. Another thing of note is its cost, there is no real narrative behind this card at least not one I know of so seeing its cheap cost mixed with its art clearly depicting multiple dropping as our detonating one does implies that this weapon is commonplace in its plane. The art has many things of note to it to really sell the player on the impact of its effect. For one the splitting shell as it comes down with bolts of mental lighting zapping to the now loose casing. The bomb itself being in almost regal tones, the golds and reds giving it an air of power and decadence. Yet upon closer inspection this weapon may not be as impressive as thought. The metal is dented and worn with clear signs of aging and the insignia with its bold red colouring is not done to uniform or at least doesn't to be with its asymmetry and hints of dripping. The detonation we see central to our card may not even planned as we can see the straps that hold its shell together flailing in the wind, falling apart, as the two others in view descend cleanly. These are relics. Whatever war these were a part of, whatever nation they once served is gone. Wiped clean. Whatever once stood is no more and perhaps it was their own doing. We will likely never revisit this card or its plane of origin as whatever once there has been forgotten. Could these bombs have been their undoing. We could ask them, if they still know. I hope you enjoyed this slightly dumb rant about an irrelevant card these are fun to do and I actually have some lined up now which is good. No hints though. I have two final notes a slightly lighter one and a slightly less so. Lets start heavy. There is a TTRPG called normality, the premise is similar to my final little statement where in which the world is hit with psycho-nukes that make the entire planet stupid. This idea of a mental bomb that strikes and destroys civilisation is probably what crept into my mind at the end there; the game itself is batshit and almost impossible to play with the GM being encouraged to lie to the players to only make matters worse for them. It seems cool and I want some friends to torment with it. Might try it on my college group. Try it today! Lastly this card reminded me greatly of the thing that first got me into card games. In season 4 of Adventure Time there is an episode called "Card Wars" later in life I would learn this was a parody of magic made up for the show but at that young age I was completely drawn in by the cool monsters, little scenery and the way the players interacted. This card reminded me of cerebral bloodstorm, a card played by Jake that backfires and kills his own husker knights. That's all. I CAN REST AT LAST.

Vimto is carrying here

Drunk 3 cups of camomile tea, reorganised as many shelves as possible, priced a whole box of space invaders shirts. I am very bored