WARNING: This Joke Post Got Super Out Of Control. Get Ready For A Mini-essay Below

Messmer the Impaler

Chapters: 12/12 COMPLETE (part 1 of 2) Fandom: Elden Ring (Shadow of the Erdtree spoilers) Characters: Messmer, Melina, Queen Marika Additional Tags: Messmer and Melina are twins and Marika is going at it single-mom style,  featuring assorted Shadow Realm NPC cameos (Black Knight Huw, Count Ymir, Inquisitor Jori, Rellana, Messmer’s assorted knights); the usual greek tragedy family dynamics, a frankly disproportionate amount of worldbuilding, Hornsent culture pre-crusade (is theocratic apartheid), some shipping as set dressing though not until later chapters

Summary:

Those who have never birthed something from a forge think all fires burn the same. Messmer and Melina know better.

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Updated every week

Alrighty girlies, I won’t let us ignore him any longer.

This guy. This fucking guy. He’s a great summon, good health, AMAZING damage, and most importantly: Messmer lore.

WARNING: This joke post got super out of control. Get ready for a mini-essay below

He was second in command to his commander father, Andreas. Both served Messmer until Andreas discovered his “serpentine nature”, this lead to a rebellion that the commander led. Naturally, his son follows him to the end, that end being imprisoned deep within a catacomb. All pretty standard lore, shows that Messmer’s troupes weren’t entirely cool with the genocide they were doing. What I want to talk about is this line that is only on Huw’s description, and not his father’s.

“Messmer mourned the loss of a brother-in-arms”

If this line was on both Ashes, I would assume that Messmer mourned the lost men in the rebellion, despite their betrayal. Yet it’s only present on the captain’s description, not the man who led the rebellion in the first place. You know damn well what I’m about to do with this.

The main reason I’m jumping straight to “they were probably like a little gay” and not that Messmer was close to the leader of his main offensive force is the fact that Huw is a second in command. I would assume that a lord would have a better bond with the lead commander, there are less steps of hierarchy in between their positions. Messmer would have also known Andreas longer, (Let’s be real Huw got that position via nepotism) thus there would be higher familiarity.

What should also be mentioned is that Messmer’s feelings about others (excluding his mother) are hardly lingered on. Rellana was his sword, yet we only know her motives, not his. He was friends with Gaius due to both of them being cursed and also being mentor figures for Radahn, but there’s much more about Gaius and Radahn’s bond than between him and Messmer. This is the only (?) time that Messmer’s feelings on the matter are mentioned so bluntly. “Comrade-in-arms” in the context of Elden Ring is used much more frequently. If I remember correctly, this is what Freyja calls you if you summon her for the Dancing Lion. I’d argue that using brother is a signifier of a deeper relationship. To view someone not as an ally but as family, someone you couldn’t live without, a loved one. There’s also the fact that it’s mentioned that Huw followed his father. That reads like he was hesitant to betray Messmer, but his blood came before any affection he had for his Liege. Isn’t that the most classic of Tragedy? To choose your flesh and blood over your heart’s greatest desire? I’d hate to get poetic here, but the story writes itself.

Huw’s coffin was more beautifully decorated than that of his father. There were active guards, flowers, the room was larger. It’s quite gaudy when compared to Andreas’ open coffin in what could be described as a closet when it comes to size comparison. One was buried like a champion, beloved by a lord. The other buried with minimum respect given his status, but with the bitterness of betrayal.

Brother-in-arms.

young melina & messmer

Belurat-inspired outfit for a young (two-eyed!) Messmer.

i did a miserable huw x messmer mix based on things written and things being wrote... – listen on youtube

How I'm imagining Messmer acts every time he kills me...

Imagine taking years to summon the courage to proxy-touch your Lording via snakes, and then that half-stripped mofo just puts your hand on his throat and KOs you.

#RIP #the guy didn't even get the captain title yet #10 oblivious Impalers out of 10

i think he is utterly oblivious and that's really the rizz in itself.

Now that I've finally chewed into the dlc, I can finally ask you about Messmer! What's your favorite Messmer lore or headcanon? What do you think about the Messmer Godwyn twin theory/headcanon? (and where do you think Messmer is on the age list if not Godwyn's twin?)

The long lore answer is in here - but probably one of my favourite headcanons is that he’s blind, or at least can’t see shit with the eye given to him by Marika, and so mostly sees the world through the eyes of his serpents. 

As for this twin theory, it’s honestly the first I hear of it?? Tbh I don’t find it super compelling - especially since Melina is canonically established as his sister. Personally I imagine them as fraternal twins and Marika’s first children pre-godhood (during the age of the Crucible/Hornsent), since both of them go practically unmentioned in the rest of the game’s broader world, as if they’ve been written out of existence. I love the idea that they did not make it, for multiple reasons, to the age of the Erdtree - Melina’s disappearance in connection to being the GEQ, and Messmer constrained to stay behind in the Shadow Realm because of his curse and his duty to wage this eternal crusade. 

I really think the canonical, in-game mention of Messmer knowing Radahn is messy for the timeline and more crucially a missed opportunity to play up a kind of damnatio memoriae situation for Marika’s children pre-Erdtree. I imagine Godwyn to be born to her at the height of her power as the Greater Will’s vassal, after passing into godhood, and believing he is her firstborn and heir only because Messmer and Melina have been written out of history and the Shadow Realm veiled from the world. This is also a way for me to keep continuity in my fics because I’m obstinate about that lol. Thanks for the ask! 

Messmer's unused voice lines I never heard about before?

"For what purpose... did I..."

Not sure if it’s just me who’s been living under a rock for the past 8 months or not, but apparently besides the cut dialogue related to Miquella, Messmer also has unused audio files (the lines Jack Barton actually voiced). Here Messmer politely reminds Tarnished that we're both unworthy of the Erdtree and even questions his own actions with a broken voice:

Video from: Cinematic Showcase: Messmer The Impaler - Elden Ring Shadow of The Erdtree