Same

I am ready

I asked for messy not for pain.

Firstkhao is just wow I have no words. Damn stupid talented gorgeous people making me cry so much. I hate you.

I've seen a lot of people hating on Ray, and it's honestly baffling to me.

As someone who has loved, and been loved by addicts -- someone who was raised by an addict -- it's honestly infuriating and painful to see so many people write Ray off as just a selfish drunk.

At first, it was clear that most people have never met or loved an addict. But it's become more and more about just straight up dehumanizing addicts, as though Ray's alcoholism makes him a bad person who doesn't deserve to be happy.

And like, fuck. If people can't see a character as sympathetic as Ray as a whole person, Ray, whose motivations and hurt are so clear and easy to understand, then what about the people in your lives who are addicts or otherwise struggling with mental illness? What do you think about strangers you might encounter who have fucked up their lives or relationships because of addiction? What about the addicts who aren't so easy to understand and want better for? What hope and care is there for them in your eyes?

Do they not deserve to recover and make amends with those they've hurt and be met with understanding -- not even necessarily forgiveness! Just acknowledgement of their struggle and their attempt to get and be better!

What about the addicts that never really make it out of their addiction? Do they not deserve basic compassion? Yes, even the ones who are mean in their inebriation. Even the ones that can't see or can't care about what they're doing to the people around them.

Ray is easy to understand, and he's easy to love, and some of y'all are holding him to standards the rest of the characters don't have to meet, and it is 100% because he chooses alcohol to cope with and avoid his pain. And I just think you should take a few to really think about why that is.

(it's interesting that Ray's friends and his dad all do this to some degree, this dismissing his worth because of his addiction and reducing him to an inconvenience. That they all dismiss his feelings and his ability to feel, and even tease him about his need to be loved. They all refuse to see when he's trying to be better and making progress, because they've all decided that he can't change, that he can't get sober, and that means they don't have to stop encouraging and enabling his drinking; they don't have to care about him.

Mew gets a pass for his drinking and drug use and assholishness, because they can blame Ray for it.

Sand has been the only person to see Ray as a whole person, and to love him anyway.

It isn't easy, loving someone so deep in their addiction. But Sand knows who Ray is, he sees Ray, and has let himself love him anyway. And some of y'all have decided this means Sand is being stupid, or that Ray has manipulated him into it, and this means they're terrible and toxic for each other.

It's interesting that some people find so little likeable about Ray in particular when the whole lot of them are such a mess.

They're all selfish and destructive in their own ways, but Ray is the one who gets talked about like he doesn't deserve to be happy or redeemed. Because people can't understand why an addict behaves like an addict, and doesn't just choose to stop.)

Anyways, this got away from me.

The way this show is portraying young people living with addiction is so real and accurate, and it's difficult and painful to see Ray and his addiction be treated like he is by the people in his life, and in discussions about him.

I sincerely hope that the people stuck on characterizing Ray as less than never know the pain of addiction, but I really really hope that any addicts in their lives/ who may come into their lives get better from them than they're giving this character who is so clearly good, who is trying, who is so easy to understand; because those people deserve better.

i think it's funny that some people would use maomao as an example of a 'strong female lead' to put down other shojo girls who are traditionally more girlish and feminine and emotionally sensitive (or 'crybabies') as if maomao wouldn't be the first one to jump into their defense if they're in the same universe. maomao is literally the most girls' girl, empathetic, understanding girl you'll ever see and she'll hate you for putting other fmcs down to lift her up

like. how do you like maomao bcs you're supposedly a feminist but you hate like a man??

Thank you !! @poetry-protest-pornography

No one in this show is truly evil. This show is not made to put characters into clear boxes of good and bad. This show is made to show how the lines between those always blur.

They are not good or bad , they are messy and making mistakes. That's not a box, that's human.

There's been a lot of "this character is so selfish" (mostly about Ray, but I already tried about that), and like. That's the point.

They're all selfish in their own way.

They're 22, they're all financially comfortable, they're emotionally illiterate.

Cheum and Mew have cast themselves as superior to the rest of their friends, and treat them all accordingly.

Cheum sees herself as a good friend, as a caretaker, as the one with their shit together; the rest of them are useless fuck ups. She can't even not complain about April-- who is basically perfect, because April wants validation for her movies, and Cheum doesn't get them, so she's annoyed at having to watch. She's constantly talking shit about her friends.

Mew thinks his not chasing sex and relationships makes him superior to his friends. He introduced them all in unflattering ways, while holding himself above them. He doesn't really see them as people, they're characters in his life, and that means he can't see them for who they are. And all this is before his revenge fantasy kicked off and he actively manipulated and used Ray.

Ray's addiction makes him selfish. He wants to be loved so he goes where he thinks he'll get it, even if it's not good for him. When you spend so much of your time trying to numb yourself, it's hard to see anything beyond that. He's still generous with his care and his money, but he doesn't share a lot of himself with most people in his life.

Sand let his need for revenge on Top drive him to do something that he knew would hurt Ray, and used Ray's feelings against him to do it. He lied to Nick and went through his phone.

Boston can't see much beyond his dick, and where his next orgasm is coming from, and even though he isn't particularly fond of anyone in his friend group, he plays the part while purposely doing things to hurt and work against them. He uses Nick's feelings to string him along so he has someone who will provide all the trappings of a relationship without having to commit to someone.

Nick went through Boston's phone multiple times, including before they knew each other for jerk off material. He was so focused on getting Boston to be his that he recorded him and Top, and then told Sand about it, which led to that whole confrontation -- Nick knew about Sand and Ray, and about Ray knowing Boston and Mew at this point, he had to know that that wasn't staying secret. Also, I think it's possible-to-likely that Nick is at least subconsciously manipulating Boston into moving his commitment line every time Nick mentions he might start seeing other people (a friend read this theory and I'm obsessed with it, going to rewatch with this in mind. If you're op of this idea, please lmk!)

Top... Top let petty jealousy over something that Boston-- who he doesn't trust -- told him happened convince him that having sex with Boston again was fine. And then he lied about it, and he consistently used the same "I win you lose" type of language about Mew that Boston does. (I know Top feels bad now, but I don't think he really realized that he loved Mew until Mew dumped him)

They're all dicks in certain ways and circumstances. They're all selfish and self involved and messy.

That's the show, friends. None of your faves are unproblematic. They've all got something that makes them sympathetic to varying degrees, too, but this is about a group of messy bitches who are struggling to keep themselves together, and to hold onto what appear to be the only relationships any of them have without destroying each other (which means lying, or hiding, or ignoring important things).

This is literally just a group of college kids, y'all. And they're here to hurt our feelings and entertain us.

(And maybe let's especially stop calling out the addict with mental health issues for being irredeemable and bad, eh?)

So the only thing I got from looking through the the umbrella academy posts is that I should be glad that I didn't watch s4 when it came out. Lol thanks for the warning UA ends with season 3 for me.

I just love the diverse range of opinions among Only Friends viewers .....

If there's one thing I find quite fascinating as an OFTS enjoyer, it's the varying opinions we have about the show's characters.

Every single character has both shooters as well as critics, and there's not a single opinion that unites us all. Why? Well, it might just be because these characters are astonishingly realistic.

Take RayMew for instance, cause I've seen heated debates on both sides of this dynamic. Some argue that Mew is treading on thin ice by pursuing a relationship with Ray, knowing full well about his emotional volatility.

On the flip side, there are staunch defenders of Mew who insist that he's vulnerable, having been betrayed and cheated on, and Ray is capitalizing on that (just like Boston implied)! The opinions here are a muddied mess, much like the characters' feelings.

Then, there's Nick and Boston. I mean, most viewers find themselves sympathizing with Nick and harboring a deep dislike for Boston for obvious reasons.

But a good number of them also admit that Nick was wrong to record Boston without consent, and Boston has always been transparent about his feelings toward Nick.

Sand, who is mostly loved by all, isn't immune to scrutiny either. While many of us adore him, we can't deny his imperfections.

It's this multi-dimensional nature of the characters that makes discussing this show so exhilarating.

There are no definitive right or wrong takes when it comes to these characters; it's all about perspective.

It's about slipping into their shoes, understanding why they make the choices they do, and then looking at it from another character's standpoint, and understanding why they are criticized.

It's the realism that I enjoy so much. In the real world, most people aren't simply categorized as inherently good or evil; they're shaped by their experiences and personalities.

We all have those people in our lives who staunchly stand by us, no matter what, and those who will never understand us. The characters of Only Friends embody this human complexity to the fullest.

None of them are perfect, and that's precisely why we're drawn to them. They're beautifully flawed, just like real people.

What makes it so captivating for me isn't just following the story in the show. It's also diving into character discussions, hearing a spectrum of fan opinions, and embracing the diversity of viewpoints.

Personally, I appreciate both the criticisms and defenses for each character. It's this variety of perspectives that makes this show so fun to discuss.

Someone on twitter pointed out that the altercation between Great and Tyme in the last scene could be one of Great's visions.

Mao mao: I don’t believe in senseless violence.

Mao mao: I do however, believe in sensible and rational violence, in which the person in question definitely deserves it.