Tooo Funny!

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SOMETHING TO PONDER: George Carlin

George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate.

An observation by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin

Noela Rukundo was marked for death even more than the average Australian. As she was visiting family in Burundi, Africa, she found out that her husband back in Australia had hired some local men to “take care of her.” Fortunately for Noela, it turned out to be the most inspiring case of attempted murder we’ve ever come across.

The hitmen kidnapped Noela and took her to a safe, quiet location … so they could get to know her better. Amazingly, that isn’t a euphemism. These were either the softest hitmen in history or Noela was one hell of a gal, because after two days of captivity (to make her seem suitably disappeared) and a stern lecture about her choice in men, Noela was released. The hitmen did give her an 80-hour time limit to leave the country, but it was for her safety – the gang suspected that Noela’s husband might have hired other assassins, and they might not be as gentle.

5 True Stories Where If You Heard Them You’d Be Like “Nah”

Muhammad Ali’s reflexes were out of this world.

Police are asking for help identifying a 2-year-old boy who was found alone  on the South Side in the city’s East Chatham neighborhood. The boy was found on the 8100 block of South Ingleside Avenue. Police said he is about 2 years of age and is  incapable of articulating his name or address.

He was found wearing a red and white striped shirt, blue shorts and white gym shoes, police said.

In a community alert, police describe the child as a black boy with a dark complexion and a large afro. He is about 2 feet tall and weighs 25 pounds.

Anyone who can identify the boy should contact the Area South Special Victims Unit at 312-747-8274.

Peanuts, June 5, 1953