Don't Know Why, Once A Year Seemed A Long Time Span For Me. But Now If I Hear 15 Billion Years Ago, "really,within

That regret of becoming more real after spending hours on screen when I look at the sky and think how small I am.

That hope when a news of new scholarship pops up.

That anger after listening lots of shouts from another room over a trivial topic.

That love after seeing a worst drawing of my sister who tries to draw myself.

That rage after having the news of the worst incidents of the world.

That disappointment after reading the posts of amazing accomplishments of same aged teens.

That urge of getting new reactions over what texts I sent.

That arrogance after winning the last trivial argument.

That discouragement after doing the worst careless mistakes.

That imagined impression of failure after getting rejected from all universities.

That motivation after planning whole day ahead.

That quest of thirst after thinking a new WHY.

That's what my life is. No, I am not that person who will tell you an amazing story of my success. I am a simple person having many mundane stuffs in my everyday life. And I am happy; I am lost in these insignificant and humdrum emotions.

Things are simple when you are an ordinary in this extraordinary world.

তোমার ঘরে বাস করে কারা (ও মন জানো না)

তোমার ঘরে বসত করে কয় জনা (মন জানো না)

এক জনে ছবি আঁকে এক মনে (ও মন)

আরেকজনে বসে বসে রঙ মাখে (ও মন)

আবার সেই ছবিখান নষ্ট করে কোন জনা

একজনে সুর তোলে একতানে (ও মন)

আরেকজনে মন্দিরাতে তাল তোলে (ও মন)

আবার বেসুরা সুর ধরে দেখ কোন জনা

তোমার ঘরে বসত করে কয় জনা

রস খাইয়া হইয়া মাতাল

ওইদেখ হাতফস্কে যায় ঘোড়ার লাগাম

সেই লাগামখানা ধরে দেখ কোন জনা।

8 th march 2020 (recognition of first patient) .today is 26 th march . I don't know what is happening in this country.

My parents, being health workers, are working without PPE. We are totally exposed to Corona. I don't fear for my family. But at least i want the real number gets exposed to all. In a densely populated country like Bangladesh, is it possible to stay safe without corona? We are all going to be infected. But at least, who are suffering and dying, their numbers get published. The wrong which Italy did, why we will not learn from the mistake? Even if we all get aware at once,we have to pay for the mistakes which we have done so far.

Bangladesh, be ready. Days are coming.

At last, you came.

I fear the relations. I fear how people get stuck in worldly incidents and how these worldly incidents can drag people to a another world where trivial things reign over people's mind. I just fear the whole complexities. Leadership and making united are really some inherent qualities people can bear. Being divided is too easy. Is not it?

I love the book, I love the journey.

I don't know how much of a change is consistent. However, we learn to adapt to it unknowingly. Today is April 1. I was waiting for this day thinking "How do I write seven creatives in Bangla exam that day?" And ya I am writing now at 4 am!

  It feels quite thrilling to face a strange challenge, but it is difficult for me to imagine the dire consequences. When people feel a lot of pain, they feel it later. Today, life may seem easy in the face of such a big change, but waiting for the feeling when it itself will seem helpless.

To me, quarantine is not something uncomfortable. I'm accustomed to stay home. So ,maybe I don't understand the change. This time in the house is used in many ways by effective people . I am already inefficient in this regard. So I am more inclined to waste this time. Maybe I'll try but fail.but I do not fear failure.rather I'm afraid of change. I did not think it was so difficult to take responsibility for my life as a follower of the eighteen. I thought the taste of freedom is not too bitter. But alas, living in a house and capturing a strange liberty, I never dreamed it would be so difficult. I don't like the digital age, I'm not that smart. So I do not know if everything becomes normal, can I be normal.I do not know where my world will stand. Those who can still keep themselves normal at this time may be superhuman. However, I do not know why the change always seems awful to only me.

Give me time. I know how to adapt. :)

দেখানো সহজ, দেখা কঠিন।

Nah, তিন মিনিটে একটি অংক দেখিয়া উহা মস্তিষ্ক বহর থেকে খুঁজে বের করিয়া খাতায় যথাযথ হিসাব সহ উদগীরণ করতে কতটুকু তপস্যা প্রয়োজন তাহা বুঝইতে পারিয়াছি। না ইহা অতিমানবের কাজ। মস্তিষ্ক কে ধার দিতে পুনঃ পুনঃ নতুন নিয়মের অংক গলধকরণ প্রয়োজন, তাহলেই অতিমানব হয়া যাইবে।নির্বোধ আমি, সমস্যা সমাধানের তুলনায় মুখস্থ করিয়া অনক করাকে অতি সহজ বোধ করিয়াছিলাম। সত্যি বলছি, এ বড় সাহসিকতার কাজ!

salute!

I don't live in the world where other people live.

Long days ago, my mind interpreted “Rasha, you know you are doing it wrong. It will not result in good.” I did not reply in that moment. 

Now, it’s already too late.