I Am Nothing If Not A Sucker For Puzzles

happy birthday to the best anime nerd kyoya ootori!!!

AWWWW cc is so precious <3 (can u tell hes my fav)

merry christmas eve from the afton family! 🎄

realized I've never drawn my afton family altogether that much (to be fair my au fic already starts at Evan being dead lmao), so I wanted to change that! sorry that the quality isn't top notch like the rest of my pieces, i just lined and colored this on my phone with my thumb LMAO.

inspired/reference;

the institution of family

*poor punctuation/grammar, what are capital letters again? :) mention of divorce, dysfunctional view of family, might not make sense, i wrote this while trying to fall asleep, therefore not proofread as i fell asleep, see that makes sense doesn't it?

i have only seen the anime, but ouran has taught me so much about the meaning of family. as a child of divorced parents, even though i am blessed to have always been safe and loved, family has always been a confusing, and borderline negative term. familial pressures and societal views have no doubt shaped my view of the institution of family growing up. according to (segments of) society, there was a formula to a functional family, and mine didn’t quite fit the bill. according to (members of) my family, the things I did should be based on the preferences of (said members of) my family, and the stress i faced was only collateral damage for the happiness of (or maximum peace between) everyone else. 

thus, i deduced that my family were merely people who felt a moral obligation to love me; whom i was bound to love in return because of my own moral obligations. I wasn’t satisfied with this answer, because if my family were merely people i was biologically related to, why are morals at play? the only explanation was that the term “family” meant obligations, expectations and responsibility. an obligation for your family to love you, and you them, an expectation to do what those who love you ask of you, and a responsibility to act in your family’s interest. familial love came with such strings attached. if that were the case, wouldn’t we all be better off without family? no strings attached, free to do as we please. it was harsh, but that’s how the world works, isn’t it? the only problem was that even I didn’t fully believe in this black and white world i created in my mind. 

the high-society families in ouran matched my understanding of family perfectly. obligations, expectations, responsibility. the family that encapsulates this in its entirety is none other than the ootoris: kyoya, as the third born son — obligations — has to do more than his brothers to please his father, yet should not outshine his brothers — expectations. That would be overstepping his role. his father frowned upon his involvement in the host club — responsibility. He should have prioritised his family’s preferences over his own and acted in the interest of his family. he accepts the burden of being an ootori, just as I accepted my own loaded definition of family, until we met tamaki.

Thoughts on Kyoya's development in the manga? It's nice to see him have more expressions and being unhinged towards the later chapters.

Manga kyoya is the food i was raised on

Where i really REALLY think the manga shines in the characterization of Kyoya is that it drives home that Kyoya is an important, complex, sympathetic character who is well liked by his peers for exactly who he is and has always been. There is not some secretly kind and sweet Kyoya hiding under the ambition and temper, in fact what is under there is even MORE ambition and at times a rage he physically cannot contain. And he is loved for it.

And I think this is a great creative choice with his character and one we know from the very beginning is intentional because of Renge. Her introduction serves to show who these characters aren’t going to be. In most stories, a character like Kyoya can only be liked by other characters (and the audience) if he is secretly sweet in some ways. Kyoya shatters this fantasy with a rock. There is no hidden sweetness.

This is not to say he doesn’t care, just that there is no gentleness to his care. As you say Kyoya becomes much more expressive and unhinged in some chapters of the manga because his emotions are finally so big he cannot keep them restrained at all- and it is very consistent that this is almost exclusively caused by or about Tamaki (there is only one instance I can think of where he gets particularly genuine and expressive and it’s entirely for himself, from the final chapter). But there is also a kind of care that Kyoya is consistently expressing through his work, because he is constantly putting in an extraordinary amount of work in service of the club and its members. And it takes him a while, almost to the very end of the series, to admit that he is doing this not because it will benefit his future career or the Ootori family, but because the club has become precious to him and he will do anything for it and its members.

And not only does Kyoya realize this, but even more progress for our beloved boy, he says so explicitly to Kaoru. (and Honey seems to psychically get the message too???) This I think is also one of the great strong suits of the manga over the anime: the anime really focuses in on just the relationships of characters to Haruhi or to Tamaki because of how much of the series had come out and because of needing to streamline things. The manga is much, much more about the relationships between all members of the club. Tamaki brought the pairs together, but these boys have spent two years getting to know and become friends with each other and they ALL see Kyoya for who he is and love him for it. They don’t match him and understand him as fundamentally as Tamaki does (the boys come in pairs for a reason), but they do get him better than he thinks they do and there are multiple scenes of characters other than Haruhi stunning him with how well they see through his shell.

The relationships to Honey and Kaoru are given the most attention and are the most interesting to me, but I will just discuss Kaoru for now because this is already long enough. Kaoru and Kyoya become each other’s default partner when their normal companion isn’t an option and they are really good at it. Kyoya recognizes capability and drive in Kaoru, which Kaoru always rises up to meet. And Kaoru is very vocal about complimenting Kyoya in such a way that clearly points out he sees Kyoya’s actual motives, which embarrasses Kyoya in exactly the same way that Tamaki and Haruhi are good at doing when they see right through him too. Kaoru respects Kyoya and also understands that everything he is doing is from an enormous amount of care for his friends. And unlike the way most people see the twins, Kyoya sees Kaoru as reliable and just as dedicated to their club/family as he is.

Merry Christmas

“All is hell well in the Afton family,”

this is a redraw of a 7 year old piece of mine, this time with the found-family Aftons too. crazy to think of how much my designs and the AU in general have changed over the years.

Tamaki

AWWW tamaki’s made me giggle so hard also honey’s one is SOO CUTEE now usa-chan will have a friend :DDD

HEYYY for vday hcs could you please do what gifts theyd get (or make because haruhi is a commoner with a heart of gold) their crush or so 😁😁😁 thank youu

Happy Valentine’sDay! 💌

Dear @sakura-kissyy ,

Thank you so much for your request! I truly enjoyed writing the Valentine’s Day headcanons.

Wishing you a wonderful Valentine’s Day! 💌

Tamaki Suoh

Tamaki will make a dramatic, self-recorded love confession video—complete with soft music, perfect lighting, and maybe even a dramatic rain scene for maximum romance.

“My beloved! I poured my heart and soul into this video… watch it when you miss me, and you shall feel my love embracing you from afar!” (He poses dramatically as he hands it to you.)

Kyoya Otori

Kyoya will make a detailed, handwritten list of ’Reasons You’re Amazing’, formatted like a report.

“I figured a verbal confession might be inefficient, so I compiled the data into an organized list. Don’t misunderstand—it’s simply logical to acknowledge one’s best qualities.” (He adjusts his glasses, pretending not to care while secretly watching for your reaction.)

Hikaru Hitachiin

Hikaru will make a custom hoodie with fabric paint, featuring an inside joke or a cute nickname.

“Okay, so it might be a little messy, but hey—it’s one of a kind, just like you! And if you don’t wear it… well, I might have to steal it back.” (He smirks but gets a little shy when you actually love it.)

Kaoru Hitachiin

Kaoru will make a box of homemade chocolates, each with a tiny note inside explaining why he chose that flavor.

“I know store-bought chocolates are easier, but I wanted these to be special. Just… don’t judge me too hard if they don’t taste perfect, okay?” (He looks down, waiting nervously for your reaction.)

Mitsukuni Haninozuka

Honey will make a small, hand-sewn plushie of your favorite animal, so you’ll always have something to cuddle.

“Now you’ll have a cute friend to keep you company when I’m not around! But don’t forget, I still give the best hugs, okay?” (He grins and holds out his arms for a hug.)

Takashi Morinozuka

Mori will make a hand-carved wooden charm, meant to bring you luck and protection.

“Here. I made this for you.” (He hands it to you without much explanation, but the way his eyes soften shows how much it means to him.)

Haruhi Fujioka

Haruhi will make a handmade bookmark set, carefully crafted with different designs—some with pressed flowers, some with cute doodles, and one with a handwritten quote she thought you’d like.

“You mentioned once that you like to read, so… I made these. They’re nothing fancy, but I figured they’d be useful.” (She hands them to you casually, but if you look closely, you’ll notice she put a lot of effort into making each one special.)

a small part of my soul dies every time i hear someone say it should have been mori senpai