I Can’t Imagine Anyone Doing This Based On My Fanfics But I Will Definitely Be Writing Fanfic Fanfic.

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

One day a coworker came to my computer to help me with something, and the active browser tab was a thesaurus entry for the word 'cry'. Wow, she goes, r u okay? And now she is constantly telling other coworkers that story just in case they weren't aware of how emotionally unstable I am.

writing really is just googling synonyms. that's it. just a constant carousel of "I used this word two paragraphs ago, what is another word for this word"

I feel so strongly about this. It is a spiritual practice walk outside every day in the growing season and appreciate the chaos of my garden. Last summer I had a yellow primrose volunteer itself, the summer before that, a wild orchid. Every spring is a joyful surprise. What will grow this year? The lawn is sprinkled with tiny white flowers and clumps of buttercups that I mow around. Once upon I had plans, designs, now I toss flower and vegetable seeds alike, and anticipate the results.

I can't imagine being offended by the dandelion out of place.

i do think we need to start treating spraying harmless "weeds" in your lawn as utterly absurd princess and the pea level of obsession with needing the world to revolve around your every whim, like.

Okay a flower grew out of the ground outside and you can't cope with it. Do you need to sleep on thirty feather beds as well

Owwwww

Ugh the esoteric joy of immersing yourself in the wisdom of plants. So much better than religion, I have done both.

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

She knows what she’s doing.

Vi❤️

I need to watch these scenes again because I'm actually not convinced they're the same room. We all want it to be, of course, myself included, and will be thrilled to find I am wrong.

something about caitlyn changing her bed curtains from green to violet

It kills me that I can’t leave multiple kudos, and frankly, if you held my attention for a whole chapter, you get the kudos. It’s hard to put your writing out there, it’s so vulnerable, and when you’re in that state, it’s easy to interpret silence as apathy at best, active dislike at worst.

I really don't understand how "without getting kudos or comments a fanfiction author is going to assume that people who clicked their fic didn't like it" became a controversial take.

I don't know why some people think an author should imagine, or guess that people who click their fic enjoyed it it when nobody is telling them that.

If you're re-reading a fic constantly, or leaving it up in your tab so that it re-loads every day for a hundred days the author is not going to know that unless you tell them. They'd love to hear it. It would make their day.

And if you don't tell them you liked their fic, there's no reason for them to assume you did.

Finally got the next chapter up. I'm exhausted, but proud of myself for pushing through.

People may find this framing rude but it is 100% correct.

Once you start thinking about humans as a species in a biome, it affects your entire way of looking at normal things.

The other day I referred to female morning joggers as an 'indicator species' in that if you see women jogging in the dark it means that the environment provides migration pathways (sidewalks, clear signs) and doesn't have any known predators of female morning joggers (guy with knife, bear, BigTruck, male morning joggers).

Though, I think that people consider framing humans as animals reacting to their environment as rude.