Dancing Around Your Room To Music In The Middle Of The Night Is The Ultimate Form Of Self Care

I dont look beautiful. I know I don't and there is really no way you can convince me I do. I have a nose that's not what fits the standards. I have front teeth that are way too much on front. I have a long face. I don't have a pageant smile. I lose whenever I compare myself to her. I have flaws on the outside that you judge me for and it's okay, that's the kind of society we live in.

But it's weird that inspite of knowing this fact, I feel beautiful. I feel beautiful when I am writing. I feel beautiful when I am having a hot cup of coffee after studying continuously. I feel beautiful when I step on the terrace and my headache stops throbbing. I feel beautiful when I sign my name at the end of a poem or when I put my face or my hand in the rain. I feel it when I am so tired I sleep without any thoughts. When I have cried for way too long and my face shines and I don't have any tears to cry anymore. I feel it when my skinny jeans fits me perfectly and I can't stop staring myself in the mirror, with hair down and messy. I feel beautiful when I laugh at the inside jokes I have with myself. When I am alone, just thinking and the thoughts make sense and I am able to pen it down. I feel beautiful when someone likes it. I feel it when I am done with the day's work. I feel it when I think of future even though it's becoming rare lately. I can't see future as clearly as I did. But there are moments, I see myself and I have made it and I am alive. Wearing those skinny jeans and walking with my hands in my pocket on a now silent at 2 am New York Street. I feel beautiful when I think of it.

But this beauty is what no one appreciates anymore. Everyone wants everyone to be kind, beautiful from inside. But the problem is, neither does anyone respect that beauty nor does anyone know to value it.

So does this feeling of beautiful matter?

As often as not, I like to think it does. To me, it does.

-S

This is the best thing I've read today. Everyone wants a piece of Mobius, Loki is gonna be the jealous one next

We've had a very cold and rainy summer and only two weeks of good weather this year. It's a bit hard to imagine how things are elsewhere when you still have to wear so many layers in August. Seeing this gave me a better understanding of the situation...

Gather ‘round, friends! Class is in session!

(I hope this is the last time I have to make this post, honestly.)

Reasons why it’s okay to criticize or dislike Shannon that have nothing to do with Buddie:

❌ Spoke of her son as if he were a burden by making sure Eddie knew how much she suffered while raising Christopher alone.

❌ Believed her son must hate her because she “did this to him” (“made” him have CP), which is her way of saying that Christopher must not like who he is just because he has a disability.

❌ Sees Christopher’s condition as a sign that she did something wrong, aka she was punished for a mistake she must have made while pregnant.

❌ She thought she “could make up for it” by researching treatments and therapies - Again, viewed Christopher’s disability as a mistake she had to atone for/fix, rather than accept and embrace who he was.

❌ Found the time and effort required to get Christopher the help he needed “so overwhelming and exhausting” that she “needed a break”, thus prioritizing her feelings over those of her son, the disabled person who can never get a day off from the life he was given.

❌ Begged to see Christopher only to realize she still wasn’t committed to being the mother he deserved.

Reasons why it’s okay to criticize or dislike Ana that have nothing to do with Buddie:

❌ She was employed by an inclusive school, meaning disabled students are supposed to be treated the same as their able-bodied classmates in all aspects of education, yet when Christopher fell off the skateboard, she took it as a sign that he shouldn’t do it all because his limitations were insurmountable.

(We know this to be false because of the adaptive skateboard scene, so the takeaway is that she defines Christopher by what he can’t do rather than what he is capable of.)

❌ She views Christopher as a “very sensitive boy” so Eddie should be “cautious” about telling him they’re together.

Sensitivity is not a negative personality trait. It’s important to allow ourselves to feel. But in this context? Ana believes Christopher’s sensitivity is something that might cause a problem for Eddie if he doesn’t react the way they hope.

Referring to anybody as “very” or “too” sensitive is an attempt to dismiss or invalidate their reaction because it makes someone else uncomfortable.

No adult, especially not one that worked with children whose minds function “differently”, should ever say those words about a little boy.

Please go vote for my piece in the National Capital Art Prize for a chance to be People’s Choice. I would really love and appreciate you for it.

oh my fuckning