My Mother, Completely Unprompted And Knowing My Stance On Never Having Children: Children Bring Much

Putting an opera singer, a beyoncé wanna-be, and a musical theater kid in the same singing group and expecting them to sound good is not a good idea

just a pro tip

#this had to be done

There were two huge cottonwood trees in my backyard growing up and now they're being removed

they're causing damage so they need to be removed but I'm just sad I have so many memories with those trees and now they're gone

an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

my dnd party has run into an npc who may or may not be evil and may or may not decide to betray us and the dm was in chat today like “just so everyone knows…not addressing this comment at anyone in particular…his favorite colors are red and black…wink” so now i’m desperately trying to get a real physical friendship bracelet done before session tomorrow in the vain hope that i can somehow stop this npc from trying to do a murder on my party

anyways good night i’m gonna go indulge in my unrealistic romantic fantasies until i fall asleep

Bouquet.

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

I'm havin the time of my life

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

today the girl ringing me up at the gas station said “ok, have a nice day. i love you” and i said “what” and she repeated “i love you” with better diction