Reason #6,382 On Why I Don't Want Children:

Not people saying “Fandom has always been like this” in that vent post I made. No. It hasn’t always been like this. Fandom has NEVER been like this until recently and if you were in fandom pre-tumblr purge, pre-twitter, pre-netflix boom, pre-tiktok….then you would fucking know it was nothing like this.

We still had the drive to create. We still sold prints and charms and made zines…but it was never like this.

The introduction of streaming, binge shows that drop all at once, tiktok and vine RIP i still love u vine but you were the beginning of a particularly ugly era) creating this bite sized, quick paced ‘content’ era of creation and it bled out into fucking everything else.

Fandoms didn’t die down when the show ended or the season was over. You didn’t mass unfollow artist, writers or moots just because they changed fandoms. There wasn’t this need to please the algorithm in order for your posts to get seen by people and enjoyed.

Fandoms used to last YEARS. Star Trek is literally the oldest running fandom out there and you got people in there that could care less about the new stuff and still have been happily prancing through their fucking fifty year old fandom today. Hell, even SPN after all it’s fuckups and shitshows has a dedicated fanbase STILL creating tons of art and fic.

There is no patience anymore. No calm feeling of taking in fandom and friends at a pace that which doesn’t make you stressed and is still fun.

Do I blame fandom for this? Of course not, but people are complacent with it and start changing their vocab to accommodate and end up making the situation so deep it cant be fixed.

We call Art & Fic Content now, completely stripping the value of what it is to a level of consumerism instead of personal entertainment & community bonding.

Avoiding Chub Rub this Summer

Hey so if you're a person whose thighs touch when you walk and you want to wear skirts, shorts, or swimsuits this summer without chub rub this is the quick guide from a fat person who enjoys wearing skirts.

For those who don't know, Chub Rub is a painful burn that’s caused by friction, which generates when bare thighs rub together during walking and running and is exacerbated by heat and sweat.

There are two main ways to avoid Chub Rub, broadly speaking.

The first one is:

Physical Barriers work by keeping your thighs covered in fabric so they don't touch and chafe.

Bike Shorts -Pro: Comfortable, stretchy, has pockets. Perfect if your skirt is longer than your shorts and not sheer. Super good in the winter. -Cons: Hot, almost never come in neutral or skin tones, so they’ll show up under anything sheer.

Bandelettes- Thigh bands that stay in place with a silicone strip. They can be cute, like garter belts, or simple. -Pros: Comfortable. Can be sexy, More discreet than shorts, Excellent choice if you want an exposed midriff. They stay in place all day. Easier bathroom access then shapewear or bike shorts. -Cons: No pockets. May not be wide enough to be effective for extra good thighs. Silicone bands that hold them in place can pull hairs and be painful.

Shapewear -Pros: Almost always come in skin tones. Shape the booty, slide really well. Cooler than bike shorts. -Cons: Extra difficult bathroom access, often high waisted and long so they don’t work well with short skirts. rarely have pockets.

The big con to this category is that you're limited in how short your skirt can be since for the shorts and bandelettes to work they need to be long enough to cover all parts of your thighs that touch when you walk. Depending on the shape of your legs, thighs, and your gait that could mean your shorts are pretty long. For me, I'd need my shorts to be almost knee length to be effective.

Knee length shorts under mini skirts aren't for me. Which is where the second category comes in!

The title says it all. These are various kinds of gels and stuff that you apply directly to your thighs to keep they sliding smoothly past one another without chafing.

The big pro of this category is that all the products are Invisible so they work with every fit, no matter the size of the thighs! They’re even useful when wearing swim suits. Just remember to reapply after you get out of the water. The cons are that some formulas can cause breakouts, and most will need to be reapplied several times throughout the day so you’ll have to carry it around with you. None of these specific brands gave me breakouts, but my skin is not your skin.

There are other anti chafing gels and creams and sticks out there, but these are ones I've tried and like very much.

Monistat anti chafing gel Lasts: 3-5 hours Invisible, cooling, feels great on the skin. Works even through high heat and sweat. I’m sensitive to textures and the powder-like feel of this stuff when it’s dry is amazing. I'm not sure if it's "waterproof" but I sweat in my thigh area a lot and this stuff really sticks it out like a dream. It lasts far longer then I do between bathroom breaks so I just reapply it each time I use the bathroom and let it dry on my thighs for a minute.

Megababe Thigh Rescue Lotion Anti-Chafe Stick Lasts: 3 hours The deodorant stick makes application easy and fast, It goes on smooth and feels fine! Comes in a mini version that makes it easy to keep on your person and reapply through the day. The big con is that this stuff melts kind easy on hot days. which makes a mess in your bag or pocket. It doesn’t do great with sweat and will need to be reapplied more often. It's unscented.

Skin Slick spray Lasts: 4-5 hours. This comes in an aerosol can so it’s not an option if you’re flying. Outside of that, it’s great. Feels nice and keeps your thighs cool. Goes on fast and easy, works well even when you’re sweating because it’s designed for sports. The best option for beach days.

To finish this post off here are some commonly suggested chub rub hacks i don't recommend and why. Deodorant- ineffective and if you use the wrong kind, it can actually make it worse. Baby Powder: Okay so this a mixed bag. Over all, it does work pretty well for a short time. And who can deny that there isn't much that feels better then a healthy sprinkle of baby powder down your shorts on a sweaty day. It soaks up your sweat and makes you feel cool and dry. The problem is that it doesn't work for very long before needing to be reapplied, by which time the previously applied powder is clumping. Not to mention it leaves white powder all over the place. I'll be honest, I often put this stuff in my bag when I'm going to be outside all day in the hot sun. At pride, summer festivals, hikes, camping, fairs, I always have it with me just in case. But I have to be a little desperate to bust it out because it makes such a mess and smells so strongly. It's a last resort.

The Chub Rub Patch- This is the absolute worst thing I've ever tried for chub rub. It's essentially a large band aid with no pad that you stick on your inner thighs. Throughout the day, the edges of these patches kept getting caught on one another and starting to peel and stick to my other thighs which gave me worse chub rub then if i had used nothing. I thought maybe I applied them wrong, so I tried them again the next day, this time taking care to make sure my thighs were clean and dry before applying. Same thing happened. And they hurt to take off. Like a band aid. They're single use, and pretty expensive. They come in one size, so they won't work for a lot of bigger thighs. These suck. They're ugly as fuck too. Do not use these things.

Body/baby oil- This is a very effective way to fry up your thighs. After a day of walking around you're thighs will look just like fried chicken.

Body Lotion- a move i've only ever seen attempted out of real desperation. This is a bad idea. The lotion rubs in so fast that you won't get ten steps before needing more. If you're chub rub is bad enough that you're trying this hack, it's time to find a pharmacy and get some Monistat anti chafing gel. I once saw a woman at a pride tie two trash bags around her thighs and it worked better then lotion.

Happy Summer Everyone! And don't forget sunscreen! Especially if you have dark skin because dark skinned people are significantly more likely to die of skin cancer in the USA and Europe then light skinned people. Even if you don't think you'll burn that day, you're still being irradiated by the sun!

My nephew wanted us to do a dance competition so we were doing our introductions and he said "okay your choices are a dead sister who came back from the dead or a dad who left"

And I just want to say I think he really has a handle on reality shows

One of them will have to get finished eventually, right???

the tiktokification of ao3

or: some of you fundamentally misunderstand ao3 and it really, really shows

i was talking about this with a friend a few days ago and since then i've seen multiple posts of various sorts that have just made me think about it more, so. here is me breaking down a disconnect i see particularly with younger members of the marauders fandom (i say marauders specifically just bc that's the only one i'm plugged into):

okay, so i've seen many (usually younger) marauders fans either talking online about how they wish ao3 was more like social media (specifically regarding algorithms) OR talking about ao3/fanfiction/fanfic writers as if they are operating under the same etiquette/guidelines/assumptions they would bring into social media platforms. this ranges from being mildly irritating to genuinely harmful, and i want to talk abt why.

first - you have to understand that social media, in this day and age, exists in a profit economy. and when i say social media here, i'm referring to platforms like tiktok, twitter, instagram, etc. all of these platforms exist in a profit economy where content is a product that can be monetized. this leads to a few important distinctions:

people posting on these social media platforms are generally posting with the intent to get their content seen by as many people as possible, as quickly as possible

they post with this intent because once their content is consumed by enough people, it becomes a product that they can monetize

therefore, if that content gets popular enough, these people can become influencers, where content creation is an actual job and their audience are, in a sort of vague and obscured way, similar to consumers purchasing a product

because of the profit economy surrounding social media, there are certain assumptions + forms of interaction that bleed across almost all social media platforms. the ones relevant to this little essay include:

operating under the assumption that anyone posting anything on the internet wants to go viral, ie. be seen by as many people as possible as quickly as possible in order to grow an "audience"

these influencers are creating content for us, their audience, so they should want to please us. they should also be trying to appeal to the broadest possible audience. therefore, if we dislike their content, we have a right to make that very, very clear.

in that same vein, we have a general right to critique content creators, as they are making a profit and we are the consumers purchasing their product--much like you might feel entitled to a certain standard of service in a restaurant where you are paying for the food.

when you carry these assumptions over to a platform like ao3, it creates problems. why? in a nutshell: because ao3 exists outside the profit economy

ao3 is a non-profit. it does not have an algorithm because it is not trying to sell you anything. this means that the writers posting their work on ao3 are not making a profit. we are not influencers. we are not creating monetized content to sell to a consumer-audience. where consuming content on other social media platforms might be comparable to eating at a restaurant, reading fanfiction on ao3 is more like coming over to someone's house and eating cookies that they made for free. you are in their house. the cookies are free, given as a gift. so what happens when those assumptions outlined above start to bleed over from other social media?

assuming that anyone posting fanfiction online wants their work to go viral -- i've seen this with popular fic writers getting questions like, "are you worried x isn't going to be as popular as y?" those questions are usually not ill-intended, but they demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding about why writers post work on ao3. it's not to go viral. it's not to build any sort of online following. most of us who post on ao3 have jobs or schoolwork or other commitments, and writing fanfiction is something done for fun, out of a love for writing. those sharing their work online might be seeking community, but that is fundamentally different from seeking an audience, and in no way involves internet virality. if someone is posting fanfic on ao3 with the hope that it'll "go viral," then they likely either won't continue writing fanfic for long or will reach a point where they have to re-evalute their motivations, because seeking joy and validation by turning your art into a product for consumption just isn't very sustainable.

influencers are creating content for us, so we have a right to let them know if we don't like it -- nope!! fic writers are not influencers. yes, even the popular ones. no matter how much other people might blow their work up on social media, fic writers are still outside the profit economy. they are not creating content for an audience. they are not creating content for you. they are writing because they love it, and they are generously sharing it. if you don't like it, don't interact with it. you are never entitled to loudly and publicly proclaim how much you dislike a fic. i talk about this more here

we have a general right to critique fic writers, the same way we do with content creators/influencers -- again, no. you should not be treating fic writers the way you would treat an influencer on another social media platform, no matter how popular they may be. this is not to say fic writers are beyond all reproach; rather, it is a call-in to check your entitlement. fic writers are not little jesters entertaining in your court. they are not subject to your whims. they do not have to do things for you. they do not have to write things you like. in that post i linked on point 2, i talk about what etiquette might look like if you're really concerned that a fic writer is doing something harmful, but that is not what i'm talking about here. i am talking about the proliferation of negativity i have seen, especially on twitter and tiktok, where people essentially just talk shit about fics or fic writers as though they are entitled to have those fic writers working to please them. this is gross, and it needs to stop. you wouldn't go over to someone's house, eat the cookies they baked to share, and then spit those cookies back in their face and start shouting about what a shitty baker they are. or maybe you would--in which case, congratulations! you are Not A Good Person.

anyway, at the end of the day, a lot of this can be boiled down to: Because ao3 exists outside the profit economy, fic writers are not influencers, and you should never be treating them as though they are. i think i see this disconnect largely with younger people just because they've maybe only ever really understood social media within this sort of influencer-consumer-culture economy, and genuinely don't understand how to interact differently with the internet. so, consider this post a call-in to reevaluate the way you interact with fic writers and the etiquette you use when it comes to engaging with fanfic on ao3! i promise that ao3 being different from social media is a very, very good thing, and also a very, very rare thing, so let's treasure it and focus on fostering community rather than trying to morph it to fit the mould of influencer-audience dynamics that we see almost everywhere else <3

Terms every writer should know

Here’s a quick cheat-sheet to some common terms you may run into during your writing career!

Alpha reader: A person that reads the manuscript with the knowledge it is unfinished and provides content feedback & support (like a coach, mentor or friend).

Beta reader: A person that reads the manuscript for the purpose of finding plot holes, sensitivity issues, and provide feedback, pre-publication.

Back matter or End matter: Additional content at the end of a book, such as acknowledgements, author bio, afterword, etc.

Front matter: Content preceeding the beginning of a book, such as publication information, dedication, title page, table of contents etc.

House: A publishing house.

Developmental editing: Editing that helps develop the content of a book, point out logic, inconsistencies, and focus the idea.

Line editing: Editing that helps the consistency and concision of the author’s style, finds redundancies, and fixes grammar.

Copy editing: Editing that focuses on grammar, punctuation, spelling and vocabulary.

Passive voice: In passive voice, the subject is the person or thing being acted upon.

Active voice: In active voice, the person or thing performing the action serves as the subject of the sentence.

Flash fiction: Extremely short stories, usually of up to 1,000 words.

In medias res: Starting the narrative from the middle of the story.

Deus ex machina: Term for a common trope where all issues are resolved by a god-like force, typically when one writes themselves into a corner and cannot resolve the conflict in any other way.

Head hopping: A common error in narrative perspective, where the writer gives access to internal thoughts of two or more characters within a scene.

Dialogue tags: Sentences that frame dialogue to let the reader know who’s speaking.

Story beat: A structural element of narrative that signals a shift in tone, plot, or character. Can be used for chapters, scenes, and outlines.

Pacing: The rate at which a story progresses.

Pinch point: An event in the plot that adds pressure to the characters.

Plot point: A major turning point in a story structure.

Logline: The story summary in one single sentence, much like a premise or an elevator pitch.

Synopsis: A detailed description of a story’s plot, for the purpose of sharing with literary agents.

R&R: Revise & resend: A changed or revised manuscript requested by agents or editors.

Manuscript: The main body of an unpublished book.

Shelf time: The time during which you set aside your project to come back to it with a fresh perspective.

Zero draft or vomit draft: A draft written by the author solely for themselves, used to get the story out on the page without external pressure.

Exposition: Where background explanation about the story, world, or characters is provided.

Subtext: The meaning behind the text, the dialogue, the plot, or the characters.

MC: Main character.

Motif: An image, phrase, or symbol repeated throughout the book for thematic significance.

Theme: The moral statement, argument, or question at the heart of a story.

Trope: A cliched story element, particular to certain genres.

Save the post so you can find them easily 😊

this actually is rewiring my brain as we speak

idk if this is a young fan thing or new fandom culture but some of yall think fics are abandoned way too quickly. a few months or a year or two is not unusual to go without a fic update. sometimes fics take longer to write, other times writers have rl events, or maybe there's multiple fics and one gets more priority. there are tons of reasons for fics not to be updated every week or every month. it also isn't uncommon for people to come back and update fics after a number of years—ive read updates that took five, or ten years. people's lives change, but they still want to tell their stories. personally, i never consider a fic abandoned unless the author has said so; though if it's been a few years i manage my expectations. but a last update being a year ago is... generally not a sign that a writer has abandoned their fic

OK so I have today and tomorrow to finish this fic and I need all the motivation to SPEED WRITE the hell out of this so for every 500 words I am allowed to crawl back to this flaming hole of distractions and share ONE (1) of my dumb head canons. 

OK WORDCOUNT AT 79666 SEE YOU AT 801666

I had to use a calculator for that how embarrassing  

edit: I now see the extra 6, and I will leave it there just so that it’s very clear TO EVERYONE INVOLVED the exact degree of how EVEN WITH A CALCULATOR I do. not. feckin. math