That Bulge Had Been Taunting Her For A While… So She Gave It The Attention It Begged For.

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What I imagine my wife is doing whenever I'm not there.

Rules to live by

Never argue with a man and never answer back

The man gets the last word

Never contradict a man or make him appear in the wrong

Always smile for men and be pleasant

Compliment men every chance I get

Always value a man’s input over a woman’s

If something needs doing and there is a choice between a man or woman, always choose the man

Only use male professionals, (doctor, dentist, plumber, etc)

Never report a man’s behaviour to authorities

Always thank a man for ‘mansplaining’ and correcting me

If in doubt, ask a man. Ask him anyway

If a household chore can be done, do it myself. Never expect a man to do it

If there is a choice, always choose the most beneficial or pleasing to men

Never ask a man to explain himself to me

When a man asks me a question, always give an honest answer. If I have been told not to share certain information with others, say that

Always dress in a way that leaves no doubt I am an inferior female

Never do anything that causes a man to be embarrassed - ever