Felt✨

I genuinely don’t know how to go to people for help or support when I am upset or depressed or going through whatever. I don’t want to bother them but when I’m visibly upset and depressed and openly stating that I think I’d be better off dead, ignoring those changes should not be an option especially when it’s something that serious. I guess it doesn’t matter because I “got over” what I imagined was the “worst of it” for now and not one of my closest friends asked me if I needed to talk. I had 2 people reach out to me. One I haven’t spoken to in years and the other has backstabbed me more times than I can count and yet these were the people reaching out to see if I was okay, telling me they were worried and that they’re proud of me. They reached out but my friend who’ve I’ve been there for again and again to listen and try to give advice and support and love, there wasn’t a word about it. I don’t want to hold it against her because she’s dealing with a lot right now but for my close friends i could not imagine holding my own problems above theirs. Maybe I’ve conditioned them unconsciously to not ask because I’ll be fine if you give me a week. I just want someone I trust to listen and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay and tell me good things.

Meaningful words in different languages you should know about !

Vernorexia : a romantic mood inspired by spring.

Micawber : an eternal optimist.

Lucid : Full of fun and high spirits.

Hoppipolla : Jumping into puddles( in incelandic).

Basorexia : the overwhelming desire to kiss.

Logophile : a lover of words.

Eunoia : beautiful thinking , a well mind.

Catharsis : the purging or release of emotional tensions through art and music.

Nakama : a very good friend or comrade that one considers as family, even if they’re not necessarily related.

Natsukashii : suddenly euphorically nostalgic, triggered by experiencing something for the first time in years.

Sweven : a vision seen in sleep , a dream.

Orphic : mysterious and entracing beyond ordinary understanding.

Lucent : Softly bright or radiant.

Dysania : the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning.

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saveperfect

2 years ago

new semester and i’m back in my ana-ortho era. it’s going great so far. brought a shit ton of protein stuff and plants. 2023 starting strong. gonna do high res cuz i have too many classes.

very much gonna be living my studious gothic cyber punk princess life all of January

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saveperfect

5 years ago

My parents just told me I’m losing weight and that they where scared. I felt so happy and told them it’s because I’m switching to veganism and it’ll balance out eventually.

It’s kinda annoying because they don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m 18. It actually makes me want to keep going because of that simple fact.

My mother legit told me

“I don’t want you to lose anymore weight”

Yet she is always making jokes about me being fat.

Make it make sense, woman