HUNGER (2023) Dir. Sitisiri Mongkolsiri

America Ferrera's breakthrough career

I just want to point out that this woman has delivered 2 cinematic, historical, browsing, impeccable speeches about the frustrations I feel about being a woman. And that actress of course is the one and only America Ferrera herself. Let's talk about her debut role in the movie — Real Women Have Curves. The 2002 independent film based on the play by Josefina Lopez is one of my all-time favourite movies I have watched in my lifetime. And if you somehow know this movie through another suspicious Greta Gerwig connection, I implore you to watch this. The movie was directed by Patricia Cardoso. At the time when it was released, America Ferrera had already filmed another movie but this movie debuted first putting her on the map. She was only 17 years old! Josefina López wrote the play when she was 18 years old. In 2019 it was the first Latina directed film to be included in the National Film Registry at the library of Congress. Taking inspiration from her real life, Josefina wrote Real Women Have Curves about Ana, mostly centered on her relationship with her mother Carmen, played by Lupe Ontiveros. This movie is touted, not only for its representation of women in their real bodies, it also delivered a warm and loving portrayal of Latina families and neighborhoods in Royal Heights and East Los Angeles. Again this isn't a time where Latinas, even today, are represented in a full and nuancent light. So to not only have this Latina family but to have them placed in East Los Angeles which has been criminally and stereotypically portrayed as "dangerous", really meant something and still means something today. And the message of that film being "there's so much more to me than my weight". I think this might serve as a comfort watch for many women around the world.

I don't understand how we were made to believe as children, that America Ferrera was the biggest woman to ever grace our tv screen. The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants is what I call perfection in cinema. If I ever will have a daughter in the future, she is required to watch this movie. Because every little girl needs to understand what sisterhood and what community is. I feel like girls today are not watching sisterhood displayed on television, or even in movies. It's always these toxic relationship, these toxic friendship — not to say that neither of those can't be toxic and bad, because even within this friend group they all have their own issues with each other, with their families etc. But it's not about the problems, it's how they solve them, how they come together. And I feel like this message should be displayed for the young girls today. And I just love how diverse the friend group is, because nowadays it seems like every teenager I see on tv are like the same skinny, white blondes. If you haven't seen this movie make sure to have a box of tissues nearby because it's going to make you cry.

The dark side of pretty privilige is, you don't get to be funny, intelligent, respected — you just get to be pretty. So I've just finished watching Ugly Betty, I fully recommend, and I realised the only female character who's actually respected within this show, is Betty. If you don't already know the concept, Betty gets hired to be the assistant to the chief. Because he sleeps with his assistants, they decide to get him an "ugly" girl so he won't sleep with her. But she's hired for Mode, which is kind of like Vogue/Cosmo type of magazine. So naturally she gets bullied. They treat her like crap because she doesn't look like the ideal Mode girl. But the crazy thing is, since none of the men want to sleep with her, they actually respect her. They start to treat her like a human being with ideas. Then she becomes one of the most liked people by anyone in their team. On top of that, all of these gorgeous women get treated like absolute crap. No one listens to them, their ideas are not heard, and they're not respected. So it leaves a very clear message: wether you are gorgeous or "ugly", misogyny will still hunt you down and it will catch you. For Betty, men don't look twice her way. They treat her bad from the moment they see her. Just because they don't want to sleep with her, they don't find her attractive. For the beautiful women in the show, like Amanda who is painted as the gorgeous blonde, men only want to sleep with her, and they don't see that she's smart. Go back to watch the show and you'll see how horribly the other women get treated compared to Betty (and they have some good cameos in this show).

As we are reaching the end, we can claim America Ferrera as "that girl". The term is, in my opinion, used for anyone who dresses like a fashionista and acts like the queen they are. But it's much more than that. I think, to achieve that title you have to be also impactful and encourage other women to be what they want to be. America really proved it by playing the Emmy Award winning role of Gloria in Barbie, directed by Greta Gerwig. I think every cis, heterosexual white male should be forced to sit down and watch this movie. The message behind the Barbie movie is about going from being a girl to being a woman. Barbieland is what our childhood felt like; we were safe, naive, independent and everything seemed perfect. The real world is what womanhood actually is. It's scary, sexist, there's pain and we're faced with so many challenges, while still being held to unrealistic expectations by society. "We mothers stand still, so our daughters can look back to see how far they've become". America Ferrera's speech about how hard it is to be a woman, really affected me and made me tear up in the theather. "It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood." America Ferrera the woman you are, thank you so much for helping me and other women to believe in theirselves. Happy international women's day! <3

Whiplash (2014) is a good film. I like what is has to say about Jazz and how it's a conversation within the band members themselves, about what it means to them and how they take the pieces they play and meld it to their hands. I like that Whiplash wants to deconstruct the harshness and the perfectionism of most high-class directors and coaches. I like that it shits on and then spreads on how seriously harmful it is to the musician's psyche.

Whiplash is named whiplash because of the turns taken both by the director and the drummer. On how sudden and fast their dynamic turns sour and then blooms. It's the whiplash of learning. It's the whiplash of a piece being too fast. It's the whiplash of a piece being turned slow. It's the vertigo of motion and the motions of riffs. And the motions of emotions of riffs.

I like Whiplash because it introduces the intimacy between two people being so passionate about their craft, one too stuck and intimidating and the other too loose and full of novelty. How they change because of one another. The emotional duress and investment into each other. Is it erotic? In a way that could only be brought about by the erotism of vulnerability. The camera work does most of that conversation, conversing with it's audience without blinking. With cuts from scene to beautiful scene, showing us vulnerability.

The whiplash of the assault of their senses of each other. It's wonderful. It's deviating. It is introspective. It fucks with its vulnerability. It makes the audience feel the characters audacity for tearing and building these vails.

The failed dating, the awkward family dinner, the throwing away of neilman's passions, the peaking at a man who's career shouldn't have gone so long in predigest settings, the envelopment of class and the negging of peers.

The movie is bad. The movie is good. The movie is simply driven by it's showing rather than telling. Yet, it feels stiff at time whenever there's a lull in music. It's on purpose, it isn't.

Whiplash (2014) is a nice movie. I love how it sounds.

Queerness, Gentrification and Cultural Genocide in the film La Mission

This is an essay I wrote as part of my pursuit of an Ethnic Studies degree at Cal State East Bay during the Fall Quarter 2017. This will be part of a series of essay posts from my classes at the end of my school quarters. This and all of my essays were written under my legal name, Dennis Camargo.

In the film La Mission, the audience is introduced to Che, a former prisoner and alcoholic, and his son Jes, a student just about to graduate high school. The plot of the film focuses on the tumultuous relationship between Che and Jes after Jes was inadvertently outed as a gay man by his father stumbling across photos of Jes in a gay club. In the film there is an underlying tone of Che interpreting male homosexuality as a force of consumerism and gentrification in La Mission, the area of San Francisco where the film takes place. Che is unable to reconcile his son’s queerness, therefore branding his son as a race trader and being complicit in the cultural genocide of a historically Mexican district of San Francisco.

Very early in the film, the audience is met with Che’s fears of La Mission falling victim to gentrification like many other parts of San Francisco. Che confronts his neighbor Lena, who has filed a complaint against Che with their landlord for blocking the sidewalk with his lowrider. The audience sees Che’s defensiveness against this complaint as encroachment of seemingly God-given right as a Mexican man to exert his dominance and symbols of masculinity in his Azatlan, the mythical homeland of Aztecs and by extension Mexican culture. He states “…after all you hipster types are tired of slummin’ it, I’m still going to be here,” to Lena, a black woman who personifies a typical hipster/gentrifier complete with fixed gear bicycle and an interest in New Age beliefs (00:10:15). Despite her race, her hipster interests are typified as white behavior and therefore is an extension of the cultural genocide of La Mission district. While her lifestyle is not necessarily queer, it is accepting of queerness which opens the door for more white culture to smother the hypermasculine, hyper heterosexual Chicano culture of La Mission.

Che has a very complex interpretation of his son’s queerness because of his history as a convict, his addiction to alcohol and the association of gay culture with alcohol, whiteness and consumerism. Che’s few associations with gayness are exemplified with the line “Is that why he’s manhandling you like you’re some Mexican bitch?,” (00:27:05) when he confronts Jes with the photographic evidence of is encounter with his white boyfriend. Another instance is an ad for here!, a gay-oriented on demand television channel being advertised on the busses he drives (00:40:26). These two instances can be interpreted as colonial, capitalist gentrifiers of his Azatlan, making Jes la Malinche, a historical figure vilified by Mexican people for selling out the Native Mexicans to the Spanish (Garsd). On a very tangential note, his association with queerness and clubbing, therefore alcohol use, can be seen as a white drug adulterating a perfect Aztec life, as there tremendous pride in Aztec identity among those who pride themselves as Chicano. This adulteration can be tied to the trope of Native Americans struggling with alcohol abuse.  

Conclusively, while Che’s interpretation of queerness and white hipsterdom gentrifying traditional black and brown neighborhoods is not necessarily incorrect, he fails to see the nuances of being queer. Queers of color can be equally weary of gentrification and cultural genocide of historically black and brown areas and are willing to protect la raza from falling victim to capitalism. Understanding of the intersectionality of being brown and queer will help in the effort against gentrification. 

Citations

La Mission, www.amazon.com/Mission-Benjamin-Bratt/dp/B003ZZ4H6K/ ref=sr_1_1? ie=UTF8&qid=1509596248&sr=8-1&keywords=la%2Bmission&dpID=513tWYMpb7L&preST=_SY300_QL70_&dpSrc=srch.

Garsd, Jasmine. “Despite Similarities, Pocahontas Gets Love, Malinche Gets Hate. Why?” NPR, NPR, 25 Nov. 2015, www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/11/25/457256340/despite-similarities-pocahontas-gets-love-malinche-gets-hate-why.

An Cailín Ciúin // The Quiet Girl (2022)

just watched hunger (2023) on netflix and it's very good at showing irony, greed, and farce; the ugliness of the rich and the beauty of simplicity.

and the movie is just all around stunning, great compositions and colors. a bit flash warning at one of the last scenes, though.

What’s the right way to live? Some days I feel like I know, but I really don’t know for sure. I just know that when bad things happen, good things happen too. And that we always meet someone and share something with them. The world is fascinating and beautiful.

House of Hummingbird, 2018 dir. by Kim Bora

House of Hummingbird 벌새 (2018)

Kazu-kun & Chizuru

I talked about Kazu-kun last time, and now I wanted to talk about how his character mirrors Chizuru's.

They are both close friends of Sakuko who fall in love with her. Which obviously is a problem since Sakuko is aroace and not interested in dating her friends.

And I want to talk about how they are almost perfect opposite of each other.

Kazu-kun struggles a lot to understand how Sakuko can be uninterested in love, and gets pushy about it (refusing to let her break up with him, moving in and asking invasive questions). Chizuru has known (and accepted) for a long while that Sakuko isn’t interested in love and therefore that her feelings would never be reciprocated.And because the show already has Kazu-kun to explore the amatonormativity-is-a-bitch side of things, Chizuru gets to just be an example of a very common tragedy of human relationship — sometimes you just don’t want the same thing, and it’s sad but there is nothing to do about it.

Kazu-kun is very clear about his feelings for Sakuko, to the point of making them everyone else’s problem. Chizuru hides her feelins for Sakuko to avoid bothering her with them, to the point nobody knows they even exist.

Kazu-kun does everything he can to stay at Sakuko’s side, including forcing his way into moving in with her and refusing to let her break up properly. Chizuru cuts off contact, moves away and changes her number.

The first thing I want to talk about is how this is so very clearly a gendered dynamic.

Kazu-kun, has I’ve said already, starts off as a very Entitled Straight Man™. And that informs everything he does in how he treats his feelings to Sakuko. He expects his feelings to be returned the same way most straight men are taught they’re owned women’s attention. He wants to be present in her life and he wants answers to his questions and he has very little qualms about how he gets what he wants, because once again men are taught they deserve women but rarely to care how their actions make others feel.

On the other hand, Chizuru is not only a woman, but she’s also a shappic woman in love with another woman. Both these things heavily influence how she deals with her feelings for Sakuko.

Firstly, she’s a woman. She has most likely been taught not to bother anyone with her feelings, while learning to be mindful of other people’s feelings. She’s also aware that unwanted romantic attention can hurt, in a way most men aren’t. She’s of course especially aware of it in relation to Sakuko, since she’s known her for years and knows very well Sakuko isn’t interested in love with anyone.

Secondly, she’s a woman in love with another woman. And like a lot of other sapphic women, she’s afraid of her attraction to women being invasive, dirty, or predatory. It’s particularly true here because Sakuko is a long-time friend, so attraction can feel like it’s “tainting” an otherwise “pure” friendship, or “invading” with “dirty feelings” what was supposed to be a safe space; and because Sakuko is AroAce, which in this perspective makes her even more “pure”, and therefore makes the “stain” even more unforgivable.

Hence why she runs away and cut all ties with Sakuko — when Kazu-kun doesn’t, even though he’s facing the same unrequited-love situation.

So yes, the dynamic between Kazu-kun and Chizuru is 100% a gendered dynamic. They could have had the same parallels with two men, but it would have felt and read very differently.

The second thing is: in the end, the both hurt Sakuko.

Chizuru, by desperately trying not to impose her feelings on Sakuko, still imposes her decision to leave and cut ties. Sakuko is hurt when their plans to live together fall through, worried when she can’t reach Chizuru, and hurt again when Chizuru explains why she cut ties and that they can’t go back to being friends (yet).

Kazu-kun drags her into a relationship she doesn’t actually want, then refuses to break up with her, then invades her privacy. Sakuko ends up needing to be the one to officially break up which hurts her too (though Kazu-kun accepts it with grace and keeps being her friend).

Even though they had opposite ways to deal with their feelings for Sakuko, they both did it in a way that worked for themselves without asking Sakuko’s input, and ended up hurting her in the process.

It’s the illustration of a very old fear of mine, that I believe is fairly common among aros : loosing friends because they fell in love with me. It’s not a fear exclusive to aros; it’s the driving tension in almost all friends-to-lovers stories; but it’s very prevalent in the aro community for obvious reasons.

It’s also an example of how amatonormativity fucks up relationships. Both Kazu-kun and Chizuru are first acting under the idea that romantic love comes first and is more important than anything else — that it justifies breaking up a very close friendship with no explanation or invading someone else’s privacy.

But thirdly, having two parallels situations also allows for nuances.

I have talked a lot about amatonormativity in these analysis, for very good reasons (such as it being the show’s main theme). But it’s not the end-all be-all. Even in a perfect society with no stupid rules and expectations, people’s feelings would still be messy and hurt sometimes. And having two different relationships to explore the friend-falls-in-love-with-your-aro-ass-what-do-you-do allows the show a real space for nuances.

Sometimes deconstruction works. Sometimes you take a step back and realize most of your problems came from assumptions and rules that have no real basis, and you’re able to work through them.

Kazu-kun does come to the realization that things can be done differently, which is shown when he asks Sakuko to be in a QPR with him instead of a romantic relationship. It’s him realizing that while their feelings may never be the same, they could make a relationship work if they focus on what they actually want to do together — for example, they enjoy karaoke together as new colleagues, as lovers, and as situationship-it’s-complicated-we’re-maybe-on-a-break. And when Sakuko refuses, he’s the one reassuring that they can stay friends, because he now understands that they can keep enjoying karaoke as friends.

But sometimes feelings are just messy. Sometimes even once the air is cleared you still hurt. Sometimes you don’t feel and want the same things and no amount of deconstruction or compromise will solve that.

Chizuru is still hurting that her feelings aren’t and will never be reciprocated. And the show allows her that. She hurt Sakuko, yes, but the situation is unfair to both of them. They don’t want the same thing and it’s hurting both of them and no one is really in the wrong.

Could Chizuru have dealt with the situation better? Obviously yes. Is there amatonormativity (and probably some internalized homophobia) at play? Yes of course. But even outside of all that, there are still tangled, hurting feelings.

And because the show already has Kazu-kun to explore the amatonormativity-is-a-bitch side of things, Chizuru gets to just be an example of a very common tragedy of human relationships — sometimes you just don’t want the same thing, and it’s sad but there is nothing to do about it.

And Chizuru does say that she wants to go back to cutting Sakuko’s hair, to be her friend. But she needs the space to sort her feelings first.

Downton Abbey S3E5 demonstrates how a well-written death can affect the audience beyond the screen;

Sybil was a side character for most of the show, but she had her moments to shine, especially during the war when she was working at the hospital, which is pointed out by Thomas when they hear of her death. Thomas's reaction in particular is one that stands out in terms of how well-written the scene is - it would have been easy to have him be cold about the matter, considering his insistence that he doesn't care much about their employers in earlier seasons, or to have a mild reaction of vague sadness at most, but no, Thomas, who was until now always cold and cynical, sobs. He tries to keep up his facade when Anna checks on him, tries to insist that Sybil wouldn't have cared if he had died, only to sob even more when admitting - more to himself than Anna, really - that she would have cared.

It's an especially heartbreaking scene to watch when remembering that the only other times he had previously shown this kind of desperate vulnerability were when he decided to get out of the trenches, after he figured out the scam, and - and! - after the death of Edward Courtenay, an experience he shared with Sybil. The first two can be argued to be selfish, in the roughest terms, as they are about Thomas, but the latter two and the pure grief he displays for both someone he was romantically interested in and someone he pretended not to care about speaks volumes in terms of who Sybil was, and that even after she is dead already. It's fascinating to see the scene in this light, how 'even' someone like Thomas, someone with little regard for the upper class, was touched by Sybil's life and death to such a degree that he will openly show this amount of pain and general emotion over her loss.

Alongside Thomas's, there are other particularly touching moments in this episode as well, of course, with especially the reaction of Daisy - who had been in a bad mood for the entire episode - standing out as one that shows how the news break her away from her jealousy; Mrs. Hughes referring to Sybil as "the kindest being in this house" with this barely contained sadness and, a bit later, hugging Daisy for comfort as well pushes this further, even if Mrs. Hughes has been established as having a bit of a softer side.

All of these small details just in the reactions of the servants show how well this episode and the show as a whole are written in terms of how they handle difficult emotions and especially grief. The reactions of the people around the deceased are always so much more powerful in touching the audience than the actual death itself. Wonderful writing, here the same as with the deaths of Edward, Lavinia and and William.

honestly I love ash from fantastic mr fox so much because sometimes you have a parent who’s so impressive you’re never gonna live up to them and it’s all you want.

i’d rather be an athlete he is so me wanting to be as smart as my dad lol

and it’s not necessarily anything to do with them, you just want to be worthy of being their kid and others might not see you as?

which makes it so fucking emotional when ash and mr fox have that conversation- i’m so glad he was you