You Are Allowed To Exist Alone In Public Btw. You're Allowed To Go To The Movies Alone And Go Out To

every movie I've watched in 2023 [39/?]:

TÁR (2022) directed by Todd Field

Downton Abbey S3E5 demonstrates how a well-written death can affect the audience beyond the screen;

Sybil was a side character for most of the show, but she had her moments to shine, especially during the war when she was working at the hospital, which is pointed out by Thomas when they hear of her death. Thomas's reaction in particular is one that stands out in terms of how well-written the scene is - it would have been easy to have him be cold about the matter, considering his insistence that he doesn't care much about their employers in earlier seasons, or to have a mild reaction of vague sadness at most, but no, Thomas, who was until now always cold and cynical, sobs. He tries to keep up his facade when Anna checks on him, tries to insist that Sybil wouldn't have cared if he had died, only to sob even more when admitting - more to himself than Anna, really - that she would have cared.

It's an especially heartbreaking scene to watch when remembering that the only other times he had previously shown this kind of desperate vulnerability were when he decided to get out of the trenches, after he figured out the scam, and - and! - after the death of Edward Courtenay, an experience he shared with Sybil. The first two can be argued to be selfish, in the roughest terms, as they are about Thomas, but the latter two and the pure grief he displays for both someone he was romantically interested in and someone he pretended not to care about speaks volumes in terms of who Sybil was, and that even after she is dead already. It's fascinating to see the scene in this light, how 'even' someone like Thomas, someone with little regard for the upper class, was touched by Sybil's life and death to such a degree that he will openly show this amount of pain and general emotion over her loss.

Alongside Thomas's, there are other particularly touching moments in this episode as well, of course, with especially the reaction of Daisy - who had been in a bad mood for the entire episode - standing out as one that shows how the news break her away from her jealousy; Mrs. Hughes referring to Sybil as "the kindest being in this house" with this barely contained sadness and, a bit later, hugging Daisy for comfort as well pushes this further, even if Mrs. Hughes has been established as having a bit of a softer side.

All of these small details just in the reactions of the servants show how well this episode and the show as a whole are written in terms of how they handle difficult emotions and especially grief. The reactions of the people around the deceased are always so much more powerful in touching the audience than the actual death itself. Wonderful writing, here the same as with the deaths of Edward, Lavinia and and William.

“What you eat represents your social status. It has nothing to do with love.” HUNGER (2023) dir. Sitisiri Mongkolsiri

Perfect Days (2023) dir. Wim Wenders

This is so good 💚

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really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

I don’t think I am physically able to put, A Little Life, Jude St. Francis, into words of how he makes me feel.

I’m reading a lot of people who are angry at Jude for k-lling himself in the end: and then there are people who are angry the way he was written, which was Jude’s belief of “I deserve this pain” and “no, I won’t go to someone who will help me.” And let me just cast in my 12 cents.

Jude believed that he deserved to be hurt and should pay for his “badness” by punishing himself. He was told at a young child that he was wrong, bad, wicked, over and over by people he believed where good and were their to take care of him, example? Brother Luke.

But why didn’t Jude stop? Even after he was hold he was good and kind, why did Jude believe he would keep hurting himself? Simple, he believed that it was just who he was and how he was to be treated. I’ll explain, when someone is raised to believe that they are the best, and that they should get everything they want and everyone should do everything in their power to get them what they want. And when you tell that person they need to be humble, they are going to tell you off and continue in there ways and thinking. Jude is the same way, he was told he was wrong, and everyone else who was trying to tell him he was good, he wouldn’t believe them. He couldn’t allow himself to believe it because he saw love as a lie.

He believed that hurting himself was just part of him, something he had to do. Like brushing your teeth and taking out the trash, he had to hurt himself because it was who he believed he was. It was his identity. And he was afraid that if he took away that self loathing and self hatred, he wouldn’t know who he was.

And that’s where William comes in. William helped him understand who Jude was. Something to be loved, and cared for, something to want to come home too. Sure Harold also showed him this, but it wasn’t the same relationship. William loved Jude without reason, but Jude believed that Harold loved him like one would love a puppy. You bought the puppy, therefore you must take care of it. But this does not mean that Jude didn’t see Harold love for him, he couldn’t see why or how he could be loved from a Father relationship.

William proved to Jude that no matter what he did, William would be there. William wanted Jude to be better, William took steps to making sure Jude was getting better, William set up healthy walls to tell Jude to fix himself, seek help and to take care of himself. And with William help, Jude gave himself a new identity. He was not completely whole, but he was seeing himself of something deserving of love, and to be cared for. And when William died, Jude lost that part of himself. Jude couldn’t see himself of someone deserving of love because that one person who he believed could loved him with all his scars and walls down was gone.

Even with everyone around Jude telling him that he is loved, he couldn’t believe it, or had a hard time believing it because it was all words to him. He saw their actions as something he should be angry at because they were made out of sympathy and not out of love. And even at the end of the book where we see Jude get better and start taking the necessary steps to getting better he still died in the end.

And that is what is the biggest pill to swallow in the end. At the end of the book, we all fell in love with Jude. Each of us grieved for him, I cried harder over his death and mourned for Jude harder than I have ever wept for someone I knew personally. In the end, Jude still died. And for this reason, I can’t put what this book makes me feel into words. This book makes me feel that I need to go in a room all alone and just stare into the stars and wait till my body is ready to keep on breathing.

As a person who chronically wants to end their own existence I saw myself in Jude. I saw his pain, his sufferings and understood why he believed he was “made for pain” or “made to suffer.” And this is the same lie I was telling myself for years, I said it so much that it never accorded to me that I deserved anything else until someone showed me the reason why I should be loved. But Jude died believing that people saw him as a burden. And I don’t have a response for that. Other than just unending tears.

It worked. You're here. The Bear, S03E10

I am not surprised that Todo's locket held pictures of his favorite idol and Itadori (I don't even blame him, I understand).

I am surprised that they not only added flowers to the background, but added a whole sequence of Takada-chan and Todo just bringing a beat down on Mahito in Todo's imagination.

Do I hate it? HELL NO! That was glorious!

Fallen Angels (1995) dir. Wong Kar-wai