Her Name Is Miss Kitty. I Love Her.

tfw your boyfriend is the number 1 shipper of you and your best friend

Sat, Dec 24th - 17:44

Here I am again,  hope everyone is having a good Christmas eve.  If you are doing good I recommend to just unfollow me here because these blog post are going to probably get sadder from here on out.

My family has been doing horrible, I’ve brought it up before.  Although now its worse.  My mom and dad are getting a divorce.  My mother said she is unhappy and my father is done with her complaining so this is it.  My mom says shes leaving him right after Christmas.  I’ve already told my dad I’m going with him so I’ll have to switch back to my old school most likely unless my dad moves into town which I doubt will happen.  My family has been extremely sad lately and even I have gotten pulled into it.  I have spent most my time in bed lately yelling at myself and planning things.

I’ve been wanting to cut again and I’m skipping meals.  I don’t know why, I try not to but i keep almost crying every time I go to get food so I just end up back in my bed. 

Last night was good.  I was sad because my mom was talking about my dad again so i went to my room and took 5 sleeping pills although i still couldn't sleep,  my mind was to much of a mess and I was like that until A.M came in and we spent the night on his top bunk and watched marble hornets until about 1 am when my mom came to yell at us.  I actually had fun though.  It was nice.

I was watching Dan and Phil today so I decided to go watch it in my moms room and that's when she told me about the divorce.  she said she won’t be here tomorrow because shes tired of my dad.  Shes leaving early and shes going to get a hotel.  She asked me to come with her but I said no,  hopefully I can stay with my brother considering hes the only sibling I have that has their life somewhat together.

My mom said its to the point shes done with her kids, we are to much for her to handle.  That hurts a lot, I try to be good.  I’ve changed so much to make her love me.  Yet I’m still not good enough for her.  If you aren’t good enough for your own mom who are you good enough for?

No one in my family understands love or they mess it up.  Not ONE person in my family can have a relationship without messing it up.  No one here is made for it so I’m just going to save myself the drama and heart break.  It's not even worth it when you know its going to fail.

That feeling you get when you break up with someone that you get in your chest.  The one that feels like its a black hole and it seems to be creating a giant empty mass in your chest has been eating at me for the past week and its getting worse.  I’m tired of leaving bed,  I’m tired of eating,  I tired of interacting with others, and I’m tired of being let down.  More that tired, I’m scared of all of these and honestly I’m okay with that now,

I’m so, so, sorry.

~Anon

A thing that irks me about the way certain DC fans discuss canon is they’ll read a run that best fits their interpretation of a given character and then they’ll use that to correct others based on that run alone.

I’m fairly new to the comics but I’ve been reading a lot of them lately— I jump around as I see fit— but what I’ve learned is that canon is barely canon half the time. Sure there will be time’s where things that are completely fanon become widespread like Tim’s coffee addiction but it feels like so many of these arguments about characterization come from a miscommunication.

I’m going to use Nightwing as an example bc he’s my fav but Nightwing’s personality has varied a lot over the years. I just read a post that was very informative but the tone of it was like this is what’s ACTUALLY the canon personality of Nightwing and one of the things they mentioned was that Dick wasn’t a playboy bc he only went on one date in that run. Like sure I wouldn’t consider Dick a playboy either but that’s a total misunderstanding of where that perception of him came from. Nightwing’s playboy-ness comes from the fact that he gets paired up with female love interests a lot. In Nightwing Year One he kisses Babs and when she asks about Starfire he’s weirdly dismissive of her. That’s fuckboy behavior. Do I like this interpretation? No but it’s still in the text. This isn’t even considering the media outside of the comics: Dick in btas vs the arkhamverse vs arkham knights— they’re all distinct from one another.

My point is DC is old and they’ve retconned their characters so much that sometimes the same character shares a name alone and nothing else, but it doesn’t necessarily make either one more or less canon. We’re all playing in the same sandbox I think it would be more fun if certain fans stopped policing other fans.

Sat, Jan 7th - 04:49

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New year! We officially say it’s now 2017, it’s completely unbelievable.  2016 flew by so fast it’s like it never even happened.

I’m currently watching homestuck and snacking on some starburst minis and drinking some water, I should be in bed but it’s way to late for that now.  I figured it would be a good idea to update this blog on my current situation.

I’m actually doing quite great at the moment.  That’s not something i say much on here anymore but I am feeling better.  Yeah, my family is still horrible but I, as a person am doing better. 

I’ve finally started caring for myself more which I’ve always been bad at.  I have also gotten a lot better, how do I say this, outlook?  When I say this I mean I try to think more positive things in bad things and I try to smile more and to be more cheerful.  I have also gotten to the point of trying not to cuss.  I am getting better with these things as time moves on so please excuse me if I do mess up on these things. 

I have gotten a few new hobbies as well.  I learned I want to learn to dance and I would like to get back into exercising.  I can’t dance good at all and I would like to learn, and I used to exercise every day when I was younger and it made me very happy. I loved to exercise so much and I hope I can get back into it.

I also have some new year resolutions I would like to share.  I had a hard time picking some and I tried to fit as much under one name as possible so here are some.

1. Be the purest version of myself I can possibly be.

2. Take well care of myself.

3. Take up hobbies (Dance, cosplay, make up, youtube, story telling).

4. Learn Korean.

5. Travel outside of comfort zone.

These are some of mine, please share some of yours too.  I would love to hear.

Anyhow, I must go now.  Anime is calling my name.  I hope everyone is having a great day, I love you all and please take care of yourself today.

“One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”

Everything gets better with time ;

~Anon

you deserve love

YOU! ARE THESE THINGS!

j u s t g o n n a s t a n d t h e r e a n d w a t c h

m e B U R N ?

Perfectly okay ♥

Useless

I feel useless. I'm never going to meet expectations. I'm never going to be good enough for anyone. I can't do anything right. No one cares about anything I care about. I'm sorry I'm not her... but I try so hard. ~Anon

little reminder for myself