“jamie. My Heart. My Parabatai.” Always Gets Me

adansey

can you draw some more kevins…. i love your art!!

ofc!! this are some stuff I did at school hope u like it <333 also thank uuuu 😔🫶

see, the intriguing thing about kevjean is how insistent they both are that they aren't friends. they don't think anything is salvageable, that their friendship is in ruins because of what riko did and because of his ghost haunting them, but the way they treat each other is so explicitly tender that all their arguments fall flat.

it's about constantly reaching for the others hand.

everytime they are together their hands are reaching out to each other like anchors. in tsc this was such a sharp turn from kevin's behavior with the other characters because it was gentleness the likes of which we've only had glimpses of. in tgr, it was like they couldn't help themselves - immediately kevin took hold of jean's coffee mug, grabbed his wrist when helping him dress, jean teaching him how to cook, kevin taking jean's hand during the interview, jean stopping kevin's hand when he reached for more vodka.

it's about the way they talk to each other like they don't with anyone else.

"you've always known what i am." and "i can still hear him. can you?" and kevin's desperate "even with me?" when jean refused to talk about riko. its "california agrees with you." and "stay with me." and "you like the sound of your own voice too much to give this up." and "did you even read any of them or were you too busy fawning over his phot-" and "i will break it over your head" when kevin reached for more vodka.

it's the things they do for each other.

kevin's protective streak is uncommon enough that the interviewer chose to point it out. and kevin's only response was to put jean on the same level where people had previously been putting riko. "jean is the only brother i have left." that hurt jean because that's not how he feels about kevin, but in the long run that statement could work wonders for his reputation. kevin isn't baseless with the things he says, that was definitely calculated. even the "hannah. that is enough." was a harsher personality than he's ever shown the cameras. he sure kept his promise to jeremy there.

the way kevin fidgeted with the yellow wristband and turned over the postcards he'd given jean once only to see them destroyed. and then not hesitating to send another one so jean can have this at least (even though it was burnt away, he can always send more) he gave jeremy answers but stopped just short of exposing jean's secrets...the foxes see such cutthroat aggression from him because they're his teammates but in front of jeremy and jean it's so wonderful to see how much kevin truly cares.

and from jean's side it's the begrudging but deliberate care he shows kevin. god help him, he can't even hide it for a second because even jeremy noticed. it's like he tries to defy kevin but then all kevin has to do is ask and he shall receive. and the man knows it! but jean (and arguably neil) are the only ones who lash out when kevin self-destructs because "you're supposed to better than this." they want him to act like the pillar they've based their whole life around and seeing him in ruins is unnerving. the anger jean felt when he found out kevin was chugging vodka, the fight that ensued when they were both on edge but more importantly the easy way they moved past it.

it's inevitable that they say and do things that drive the other insane, but when it comes to, as jean put it, "unsubtle and idiotic devotion" they're always there for each other.

but they're not friends, no. and if you call them that they'll deny it till they're blue. but then again, their hands will always reach for each other in their own angered, careful, terrified or concerned manner.

this got super long but i enjoy their dynamic so much. i feel insane because this is how best friends who are deeply familiar treat each other; teasing jean about jeremy, pinching jean to clear his head, fixing his shirt for him and jean elbowing kevin when he wants answers and filling kevin's glass with tap water instead of filtered water out of annoyance. it's reminding me of one part of "using you" by mars argo:

"Well I've only known ONE man in my life who was a true man of honor. He was a surgeon who would help anyone, even those who hated him. Especially those who hated him."

-The Way of Kings, chapter 53.

"I will protect even those I hate," Kaladin whispered thorough bloody lips. "So long as it is right."

-Words of Radiance, chapter 84.

tfc trailer would go so insanely hard because i'd end it with the bit on KF where the crowd all starts chanting KING KING KING and the camera cuts progressively faster between neil and kevin and andrew in the crowd and then right before riko steps onstage we get black screen and then the date the season comes out. Somebody give me infinite money i could DO IT

Kevin Day isn't actually a coward, Neil and Andrew just have very different ideas of what it means to be brave. Kevin is a survivor. He spent most of his formative years walking a middle ground of being useful but not so much that he showed riko up. He had every reason to be afraid of riko. He was the only one that truly understood what riko was capable of aside from Jean. Neil and Andrew are fighters, they are all or nothing types, they don't understand how someone could walk a middle ground just for something that resembles safety when they fought so hard to not give in to threats until it threatened someone they care about and almost killed themselves in the process. Kevin didn't even know he was ALLOWED to fight back because that was never an option. Leaving the only life he's ever known was so much braver than anyone gives him credit for. It isn't until he has something to fight for and is given permission (not just by the moriyama's and Neil but by himself) to be his own person for the first time that he is able to defy his abusers.

It's not cowardly to do what you can to stay safe. Not everyone has Andrew and Neil's blatant disregard for their own personal safety. Being afraid of pain and death is perfectly reasonable.

I'm on Words of Radiance right now and I gotta say,

I just love Kaladin, like he has a mysterious past that he isn't interested in talking about, and he has like no respect for anyone who hasn't personally earned it, and clearly wants to be left alone forever. But he sucks at getting people to ignore him.

Like first of all, he looks everyone in the eyes, even people so far above his station. He has an impeccable posture and presence at all times, even without considering the whole stormlight thing which apparently can make you look prettier/more saturated in the world. He has slave scars marking him as dangerous and just pretends that he's basically of a station to light-eyes. And he barely even remembers to call the King 'your majesty', it's an afterthought at best and if the King believed that he actually had authority Kaladin would probably be dead. (Of course if the King was a stronger personality than maybe Kaladin would have shown him respect).

He wants to be left alone to die but has such strong sense of honor and empathy that he ends up caring about anyone that ends up in his vicinity for more than 5 min if they need help in anyway. He adopts Renarin grudgingly likes/respects Adolin even when Adolin drives him absolutely insane. He does his absolute best at any job he is given no matter how hard it makes his life or how many toes he steps on.

And he cannot hide his skills to save his life. So far, about half way through the book he's not terrible at hiding the stormlight, except that he is and the people around him just have more to worry about (like dying) when he has to use it.

He's a very very good surgeon even though he didn't actually have the chance to formally study, and when literally anyone calls him on it, he's just like 'I learned field medicine' - sir, you think field medicine is a good excuse for knowing more about epilepsy than the light-eyed noble that HAS the epilepsy??? Really?? Like are you even trying anymore? You're using words that no one else has ever heard of and you are teaching everyone around you field medicine.

He will literally never be able to blend in ever in his life.

I love him.

I can’t stop thinking about that line in row where Syl’s like “I picked him out of millions and millions”

Kaladin’s so hard on himself all the time but she chose him out of literally everyone on the planet and I just. I’m gonna cry I love them so much

a specific detail i love in stories is when two characters who share a deep understanding of each other nevertheless only addresses each other by their title or last name, which somehow makes it even more intimate than if they were to just call each other by their first names. it’s about the veil of propriety, the false detachment and imposed distance, it’s about the restraint, the high esteem held in each other, the meeting-each-other-at-the-boundary-and-stop-before-crossing-it, making it even clearer they both KNOW where it is; all at once both full of yearning and of fond contentment

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫