Hey. Don’t Cry. Crush Two Cloves Of Garlic Into A Pot With A Dollop Of Olive Oil And Stir Until Golden

Thinking about Jon’s self destructive behaviours because I think the gradual development of them, and how they intensify, is both very interesting and also very improtant in how the story ends.

Jon’s sacrifice in MAG200, his insistence on choosing the option that means giving his humanity up, getting the blood on his hands so no one else has to, condemning himself, it stems mostly from nearly three years worth of unchecked guilt, and his role as a scapegoat. He has to do the hard thing because no one else will, because only he, the monster, can.

The thing about Jon, is that Georgie was right, he needed a support system desperately - honestly most of the TMA characters do - but whatever support system he may have potentially had in people like Sasha, Tim and Martin had long since crumbled. Had he had that constant support, people there who saw him more as a man than a monster, who didn’t blame everything on him, I don’t think his self destructive tendencies would have gotten as bad as they did. He did have Martin and Daisy, but Martin was never around in season four, and I think with Daisy, there’s a whole other aspect to explore, especially with how she’s treated in comparison to him.

As a whole, a lot of his self destruction stems from how he views himself, as well as his position. By the time everyone else started trying to claim blame, it was far too late: the Eyepocalypse had begun and Jon was so used to being at fault, he could not see it any other way. He could not see himself as a victim.

This isn’t a jab at the others either, how they acted makes sense for their own positions, this post just happens to be focusing on Jon, and how this constant blame and dehumanisation impacted his mentality.

I think a lot about the small comment made by Basira (I believe it was?) on putting him down. It’s such a specific phrasing, that makes Jon feel less like a man and more like a sick dog that’s a danger to others and himself, and I think that summarises how he’s come to view himself, and how some view him, very well.

To summarise, if you treat a man like a monster, he’s going to start acting like he is one, and for all they tried to take that back, it was far too late to do so.

Again, not a jab at the other characters. I’ll probably be writing a post on Georgie soon honestly and how she reacts to these things, because God knows I do not blame her - I just need to rewatch some of the episodes for that.

This isn’t all my thoughts either as I am currently busy, but hey it gets the general idea across?

Something more personal- drawing him takes some of the weight off

last words

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

that shit fucking hurted

20 things i learned in 2020

(inspired by shannon barry)

at a moment’s notice, in the blink of an eye, from one second to another, everything can change. there’s no preparing for it sometimes. just accepting it. 

being apart doesn’t mean we lack togetherness; there are a multitude of ways to forge connection with someone aside from physically being with them.

it really is the little things – never underestimate just how healing a warm walk or reading a good book can be.

empathy is still a foreign concept to many so surround yourself with people who care about more than just themselves.

just because the world stopped spinning for a few months, doesn’t mean time stopped moving; the months may have bled into each other but that doesn’t mean we were living in an endless march - october still came and it blessed us with orange leaves and crisp skies. july brought the fireworks it promised it would. december still came with christmas. it may have felt different, but it was still there.

don’t be afraid to stand up when others are telling you to sit down; don’t be afraid to shout when others are telling you to be quiet.

the people in your corner will save you in more ways than one and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be saving them too.

you don’t need a reason to do your makeup or wear a fancy dress. look like you’re going to prom in your backyard, eat mcdonald’s with your face beat. who cares? “just because” is always reason enough.

that thing you’ve always wanted to try? do it. instead of starting your thoughts with “what if i” or “i could just” – do it. nothing’s holding you back except for you.

the world will turn upside down in more ways than one and you are going to turn with it; all you can do is hold on tight and go with the flow. 

it’s okay to be scared, it’d be scarier if you weren’t. 

injustice doesn’t stop because the world stopped; hatred will always be loud and ugly and it’s up to us to turn that pain into promise through education and action.

being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. learn to fall in love with spending time with yourself. 

we’re all connected in ways we never realized and we affect each other’s lives in more ways than we’ll ever truly understand. we’re all connected someway, somehow. 

just because it seems like everyone else is hustling, doesn’t mean you have to as well. move at you’re own pace. 

don’t stop taking pictures just because things are ugly now; one day, you’ll look back and be glad you did. 

we haven’t lived through a chapter of a US history textbook – we are still living through one. just because the page is turning doesn’t mean everything is changing. be patient. 

you’re allowed to just be. you’re allowed to just exist. 

don’t stop chasing happiness just because it’s harder to get a hold of.

keep trying. keep fighting. keep loving. keep living.

(cc, 2020)

I wanted to make this since I listened to that episode so here we go

Time for another coffee painting post 🥳 This time, it's none other than the one and only Gollum.

As always, painted with instant coffee on smooth, heavyweight paper.

I made it specifically for my good friend, whom I used to work with during conventions and shows. It's also been one of my most popular prints 😊