Screechinglostacademia - Maximilian

Jon I love you

How are we all feeling about Aziraphale’s last “I forgive you”? Does it mean I forgive you for kissing me to try to get me to stay, I forgive you for choosing this moment to reveal your feelings, I forgive you for not coming with me, I forgive you for kissing me period??? What?

I keep going back and forth on it and I NEED to hear what everyone else is thinking. Lay it on me, I’m open to new interpretations because everything hurts and I’m dying.

look i’m all for sexy i take my whiskey neeeaattt~ harvey but DAMN i love when he’s just soft and cuddly 💀💀

Jon,,,Jonathan sims,,,,,

The Boy in There

Short, fluffy, tousled hair. A deep, velvet voice that could make anyone swoon. A wide smile that just screams comfort and confidence, others would smile just because he was. He would play football with the other lads, scoring that winning goal; he would deliver a soliloquy so moving that everyone would be reaching for some tissues to wipe away the tears. He would be a shoulder to cry on, a friend to everyone, he would always say the right thing and make everything better- his hugs would bring anyone back down to earth. He wouldn’t be afraid of dancing and singing, he is comfortable in himself. He isn’t afraid of the sound of his own voice, he wouldn’t be afraid of his voice sounding fifty pitches higher than it should be. Flat chested, lean. He works out at the local gym, where everyone can see him and no one judges him. I see him in there sometimes, just out of reach, a blurry outline through a piece of glass as I walk past. I know he’s in there.

He’s the life of the party, scouring the walls for the waiting flowers, he knows what it's like to try and bloom without enough light. He is the one to go to for a walk along the beach as the sun sets on the horizon. Wearing a loose t-shirt that somehow hides nothing, his hands taking shelter against the cold in his trouser pockets as the wind blows aggressively, tensing his arms and flexing his muscles. He stands with a straight posture, unafraid of his chest. He isn’t afraid to clear his throat, his Adam’s apple flexing as he does so. I’m jealous of him. No matter how much I think of him, or how I think I see him in the glass, he isn’t out here. I know he’s in there.

He knows how to make his way in the world, he breathes confidence. He doesn’t need to feel meek when asking someone for help, he just knows they’ll answer. He doesn’t always excel at what he does but he greets failure as a friend and takes them on a walk, building the paths to somewhere better than before. He greets everyday in life with a flourish of grace and a smile warm enough to let you know it's okay, the world is better because he is here. He knows the way to sincerity and treats you with it, no matter the circumstances because he doesn’t want you to feel unwanted. I know he’s in there.

I know he’s in there because he is me. I am the boy in there.

Instagram credit: thenovelacademy

never love an anchor - the crane wives

closeups under the cut

So, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I keep seeing metas about how Aziraphale wants Crowley to return to Heaven and be an angel again because he wants them to be on the same side/be good/change/etc., etc., etc. but I don’t see that at all. I actually see it as the very opposite.

Aziraphale loves Crowley just as he is. But there’s something more. Something huge.

Aziraphale loves Crowley and because he is an angel who is stuck in seeing things as black and white, he constantly praises Crowley for being nice. For being good. For being kind.

Aziraphale has watched Crowley on and off for 6,000 years. He watched him thwart the plans of Heaven and Hell because it was unjust. He spared the lives of innocents. He did small things that made Aziraphale happy just because (like making Hamlet successful and saving valuable books). And because Aziraphale sees things in black and white, he sees all the things Crowley has done as nice, as good, as kind.

Crowley vehemently attests he’s not nice or good or kind.

He’s not exactly wrong nor is he lying when he says this. When Crowley spares goats during a cruel bet over a righteous man and swallowing laudanum to prevent a suicide, when he prevents Armageddon by working with Aziraphale and stopping the Anti-Christ from being the Anti-Christ, he’s not doing the nice/good/kind thing.

He’s doing the right thing.

Crowley chooses to do the right thing without hesitation. He is better than all of Heaven and Hell who have callous and dispassionate view of all existence because he questions, because he makes choices. Crowley sees the world for all its messiness and he sees himself. He sees a place where he fits in. He sees the blurred edges.

And Aziraphale sees that, even if seeing the blurred edges is hard for him.

But here’s the thing that Aziraphale can’t voice.

It’s the reason why he told Crowley about being allowed to return to Heaven and become an angel again. He doesn’t want Crowley to change. He doesn’t think Crowley is flawed. Or not enough.

It’s something that is so monumental that it cannot be put into words. Because to put it into words would be more than blasphemy. It’s down right unthinkable for anyone in Heaven, Hell, or Earth to say what Aziraphale knows deep in his soul.

God was wrong to cast out Crowley.

Aziraphale believes Crowley can/should return to Heaven because he knows that Crowley should never have fallen in the first place. He wants him to be forgiven because when Crowley fell it was unjust. Aziraphale is trying to correct a mistake. He’s trying to do the right thing.

Yes, Crowley would never accept returning to Heaven. And Aziraphale was wrong to even suggest it (although that conversation is another can of worms to unpack).

Aziraphale loves Crowley. He loves him exactly as he is. He doesn’t want him to change. Aziraphale knows that Crowley the best of all of them. He wants to change Heaven because of it. Because God was wrong and Aziraphale knows it.

Aziraphale may have difficulty seeing beyond black and white, but when it comes to Crowley he sees everything crystal clear and in vivid color.

"What's your choice, Archivist?"👁