12/16

Fuck moon’s taking poison damage

happy birthday to large boulder size of a small boulder

See the thing about Eridan and Feferi is they are a bit like sharks and dolphins. One of them is a lovely little smiley creature that makes chittering noises and does tricks and is overall very anthropomorphizable, and the other is a big nasty biting thing that you wouldn’t want in your entourage. Meanwhile Feferi is a nice young lady with sentiments about social justice that appeal to Homestuck’s exclusively (as far as I know) non-Alternian audience and very adorable mannerisms, and the other one is Eridan.

But then expert scientists start taking a closer look at the two species and start to spot some discrepancies with the general idea of what they should be. It turns out dolphins do all kinds of nasty things (ie: premarital sex, stockbroking, pyromania) and sharks are actually big softies who wouldn’t hurt a fly when you aren’t dressed up as a seal or making sensationalist blockbuster movies about them.

Similarly, upon closer inspection you realize that maybe Feferi isn’t really all that nice or even necessarily respectful towards lowbloods (re: conversations with sollux, VrIska, Jade) and that Eridan, despite having adopted his worldview because it puts him in a socially acceptable position of power, might not buy into those ideas and isn’t quite so awful or as much of a lost cause as first impressions might have him seem (re: conversations with Karkat, Gamzee regarding Sollux, requests for faulty doomsday devices, etc).

So naturally you as the reader get very excited about all these developments and start wondering oh boy oh boy, where will the story push these characterizations next, given that it’s already managed to tell us so much with so little? Who will remain true to their ideology, and whose will crumble? And then Eridan goes and does that. Sad! Oh well, there’s other tools of a genocidal regime to unpack. Sometimes the shark really is just a big nasty biting thing, and there’s nothing sinister lurking beneath the dolphin’s adorable trick.

But you, understandably, are a little pissed off by all this. You were eager to see all the secret nice and nasty bits of these characters come to fruition, and as the reader you’ve been denied your delectable prize. Plus, it seems not everyone has caught on to how things could have gone. So in your analysis you push things a bit, maybe to bring them justice or to make things clearer. Dolphins are actually murderous rapists who delight in stealing candy from small children, while your average shark is on par with Mother Teresa. Feferi’s plans for societal rehabilitation were tantamount to genocide. Eridan Did Nothing Wrong. And so on.

However, it’s important to settle on a few things at the end of the day. Bits of nuance are usually intended to make characters more similar rather than push them further apart. It might be more helpful to see what those similarities are pointing to and analyze them on that basis. Eridan and Feferi are both troubled little soldiers of a fascist state positioned very close to its head. Similarly, when all’s said and done, sharks and dolphins are both large marine predators with very sharp teeth who humans would benefit from not getting close to.

I like Tavros so far. He’s a dweeb

bro thay put transgender in me

Some day we’ll both wake up for good, I will try hard not to scream.

he's literally nice

So god created us in his image, right? And that’s cool and all but what if it turns out god, like, hates his own image??? What then????