Being In A Public Discord Server Is Like. God I Hope They Don't Kill Me With Rocks. God I Hope They Don't

You have a feeling it’s going to be a long day.

thinking abt that time in one of my art classes when the prof put up a silhouette of L from death note and said “this is not an effective design bc you can’t tell who this character is from this shape” 

and everyone in the class went like “yes we can that’s L from death note”

Meowrails visit the beach and while they’re there they meet up with their weird clown friend 😄

its fucking snowing outside i've never seen snow in my life what is this shit

this started as a tweet of my karkat plushie where the hell am i

i’m gay but i’m always gonna choose the well developed straight ship over the 2 bland and incompatible white dudes that have 500,000 fanfics written about them. you guys just hate women.

Tips for writing Dirk and Jake?

They're both simpler and goofier than they seem. Dirk and Jake are heavily emotionally oriented, but at the same time their emotions are downplayed by everybody (including themselves!) for the sake of keeping up a "respectable front." They're not very good at it tho. If you keep this logic in mind you'll prolly be okay giving them words to say.

Specially when put together, their quirks play off one another. Dirk is all modern and hyper specific lingo, internet poison, and a tryhard 'street' impression pulled from the internet and god knows what 00's tv serial he cobbled up together all by himself to sound # hashtag # cool.

While Jake speaks like a golden age actor playing a character, on a stage, with a transatlantic accent (this means a mix of american and british lingo that did not truly belong to either culture - it is, from conception to limited use then eventual death, a language made for Prestige Movies and to embellish the telling of Stories.)

Their characters are paired up like this because they naturally contrast with one another. The man from the future / The man of the past, neither of them fully being what they seem.

One thing a lot of people slip up on is the Language thing. Dirk sounds like a guy who's sprinkling hard words into his dialogue to seem smarter, knowledgeable, academic. Whereas Jake has an expansive and peculiar vocabulary (think like Rose's, here), but he doesn't care about 'sounding intelligent' so much as he cares about being LIKED or being charming, so with him it's about pomp and flair. You could say Dirk pretends to be limitlessly reliable while Jake pretends to be "A Himbo", but they know there's a limit to the act.

With both of them carefully crafting a persona they want to project outwards and be remembered by, they tend to adjust to the environment. If there's not a public to perform to, it's gone. Dirk is less playful and more technical-incisive if he's talking to AR and Jake really tones himself down at the end of Act 6 when he's just exhausted of being read wrong.

Them being friends for so long also influences how they speak to one another in contrast of everyone else; in dirk-jake conversations, both of them use a lot of bro-speak deliberately and almost excessively. It's a lot of Bro's & Dude's & Man's that serve to denote bestfriendliness or reassure that they're in the same brainwave.

Also, they cuss a lot, indiscriminately, and to great comedic effect. I see a lot of people being afraid if making Jake Say A Bad Word but this is nothing new to him. He often abruptly cuts off his charming old-timey thing to just sound like a normal regular dude who's gotten frustrated and it's that whiplash that makes the character. Jake can be pretty & abruptly mean if he wants.

Dirk keeps more of a leveled writing voice and syntax, even when he's arguing with himself, favoring readability over tone. He wants to communicate something with his long-ass texts, even if his explanations are too convoluted. When Dirk goes off the rails we're talking about metaphor- Like Dave, he enters a trail of thought and keeps adding to it sometimes, needlessly, as if he doesn't know just when to end a joke. (The "Bounce a coin off that ass" monologue, ex)

While Jake uses asterisks to *narrate his own actions* or EMPHASIZES important parts of his run-on sentences to show importance/tone/frustration BY MAKING THEM BIG. He uses periods to separate sentences more often than commas. When he does use punctuaction he can also exaggerate!!!! Not always, but often enough. If you see it happening too much edit it a little. (Jake also occasionally uses an emoji here and there though its very sparse so its more like a callback to how Jade does it. He learned from her, after all.)

Rereading their pesterlogs w/ each other and then with different partners (like dirk with jane, jake with calliope, how each of them talks to caliborn, etc etc) can help you pick on other useful cues and subtleties. They're generally more amenable and friendly to the girls. Also, dont skip the jake/hal conversations. They're crucial for characterization.

If comparing/contrasting is up to your speed, here are characters whose quirks sound similar to, compound to, or can help you write:

Dirk- Rose, Dave

Jake- Vriska, Jade

TL;DR: "intent" matters a lot to the things Dirk and Jake say, even when the text is riffing off it. Its more useful to think on /why/ they're saying this rather than "does this sound like enough lingo/oldtimey speak", because focusing too much on the latter is gonna make you end up writing nonsense.

(*All screenshots used in this post are from actual pesterlogs in Homestuck)

YOU KNOW S3RK3T TH3Y R34LLY L1K3 YOU AROUND H3R3

YOU SHOULD V1S1T SOM3T1M3, YOUD G3T 4 K1CK OUT OF 1T

4NYW4Y

S33 YOU 4ROUND, 1 GU3SS