Giveaway Contest: We’re Giving Away Fifteen vintage, ‘60s-era Penguin Classics By Homer, Sophocles,

- Stephen Hawking

Every post just makes this better

A Holiday Story

So this is a Chistmas story my mom told me while I was home recently and i thought y’all might enjoy.

So, one Christmas back in the 60′s, my great-grandmother was reminiscing about Christmas in England, and how they used to have pheasant for Christmas, but Ohio sucks and they’d never get to do something like that.

Well Shit!  goes my grandfather,  them woods are full of pheasants, I’ll get you one.  So grandpa and a dubiously related man named “uncle popeye” went out with shotguns to get great-grandma a pheasant for Christmas dinner.

They’re gone for a LONG time.  according to mom, they were basically expecting grandpa and Popeye to be gone for a few hours and come back with a store-bought chicken and apologies.

Instead, they come back eight hours later, covered in mud and freezing cold from the Cleveland winter, but Surprise!  they have a Pheasant.  Great-grandma gives them a lecture about staying out so long and worrying her, but agrees to dress the bird so they can all have a traditional English Roast Pheasant.   Grandpa and Popeye retire to the living room to drink beer and talk about what great woodsmen they are when Great-grandma screams from the kitchen. “TOM!!”  She bellows and literally every male in the house jumps because literally every man has been named “Tom” for three generations at that point.  “THERE’S NO BULLET HOLE IN THIS BIRD.”

They both look massively sheepish and eventually admit that they hadn’t had much luck finding pheasants in the woods and were about to go to the store to get her a chicken when they… backed over the pheasant.

“Then what were you idiots doing in the woods for eight hours?” “We weren’t out there for THAT long-” Popeye starts before grandpa decks him.    Grandma and Great-grandma have to menace them with wooden spoons to get the truth out, but eventually they take thier oversize hiking boots off to reveal bandages. Turns out they had only been in the woods for Two hours looking for pheasants before LITERALLY tripping over one, and they both reflexively aim at the ground and… Shoot each other in the foot.  They hadn’t backed over the Pheasant in the woods.  They’d backed over it in the Hospital parking lot.

And that’s the story of how my great-grandmother made a Roast Pheasant and the ladies of the house got to eat the whole thing while Grandpa and Popey had to watch.

Special Giveaway: We’re giving away four lovely Dover Thrift Edition classics by Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, Edgar Allan Poe, and Franz Kafka! This is a special giveaway for MacroLit followers who are following on both Tumblr and Twitter! Enter to win these classics by: 1) following MacroLit Tumblr and on Twitter (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblogging this post and adding your Twitter name as a tag. We will choose a random winner on March 1, so reblog now! And yes, we’ll ship to any country! Easy, right? Good luck! :D

Oh, and for our non-Twitter followers, here’s our regular giveaway contest. 

Who, me? Why, I’m Batman, of course!

Giveaway Contest: We’re giving away ten vintage paperback classics by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jane Austen, Harper Lee, Walt Whitman, George Orwell, and others. Won’t these look lovely on your shelf? :D To win these classics, you must: 1) be following macrolit on Tumblr (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblog this post. We will randomly choose a winner on April 22, at which time we’ll start a new giveaway. And yes, we’ll ship to any country. Easy, right? Good luck!

Challenge Accepted -AkaKuro ForeignCountry!AU-

So what are the odds that they never went to the same middle school, never played a match during highschool, but still retained a certain level of passion for basketball? And what if, they so happened to sit next to each other at the most anticipated basketball game of the year? Based on this prompt. Drabble dedicated to melontastic WHO FOUGHT ME and anna who also fought me but I lost. I lost hard.  WARNING: OOC-ALMOST-JERKISH AKASHI

Giveaway Contest: We recently reached 50,000 followers, and as a way of thanking you, we’re giving away FIFTY (50!) vintage paperback classics by Albert Camus, John Steinbeck, Carson McCullers, Toni Morrison, George Orwell, Ray Bradbury, Jane Austen, and so many others! Won’t these look lovely on your shelf? :D To win these classics, you must: 1) be following macrolit on Tumblr (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblog this post. We will choose a random winner on January 20, at which time we’ll start a new giveaway. And yes, we’ll ship to any country. Easy, right? Good luck!

do you ever think about how fucking wild the premise of hetalia even is though like there are these (alarmingly) consistently attractive immortal beings that represent the soul and state of a country and they’re gifted with weird abilities like magic or hella strength and then they just spend their days having petty playground arguments with each other

Women have more power and agency in Shakespeare’s comedies than in his tragedies, and usually there are more of them with more speaking time, so I’m pretty sure what Shakespeare’s saying is “men ruin everything” because everyone fucking dies when men are in charge but when women are in charge you get married and live happily ever after