Need Someone To Do This For Dick Grayson…

Easy fix

note to self: do NOT double the chocolate chip cookie recipe. the mixer can’t handle it. I can’t handle it. my knees hurt. I’ve been rotating cookie sheets since I was born and I will be rotating cookie sheets until I die

This idea is off the rails in all the best ways, in my unprofessional opinion.

do you know what would just be...completely unhinged, just off the top of my head, actually obsessive?

murdoc messing with mac enough that he twists his memories so thoroughly that Mac ends up thinking JACK is the one who is after mac, angry that mac left the sandbox alive when so many of Jack's brothers didn't or something, i dunno Im just here for mac being a funky little amnesic, and in hindsight of course it doesn't make sense, not really, not when it was jack protecting mac, but mac is so high on confuse the fuck outta the genius drugs and murdocs general mind fuckery that it MAKES SENSE and some how, the boy who Jack has come to see as a kid, who was always so dependant on jack for all that he used to quietly say he didn't need anyone is a ball of absolute terror because murdoc has been whispering sweet evil little nothings in his fucked up ear and hotboxed mac on the ride over and his lil genius brain is going ten to the dozen and doesn't know which way is up other than murdoc = good and jack is the little devil here to. I dunno. rip his appendix out and make him eat it and jack, who hides his serial killery a lot better than most but not enough since he WAS a cia agent, is fucking horrified and spends AT LEAST an hour screaming at hia fathers own grave about how he's gonna rip murdoc in half, that he'll kick his teeth in and that Jack would follow mac in death if mac DID shuffle off the mortal coil, because as everyone knows, mac and jack are entirely too codependant and if you think jack would not have IMMEDIATELY kidnapped mac for the kovacs mission until someone snakey whispered into his ears, I'm sorry I dont take constructive criticism, this is a james macgyver unfriendly post so-

But anyway

murdoc honestly at this point doesn't even need to keep mac on what is probably sorely needed sedation vacation because mac BELIEVES him wholeheartedly why wouldn't he? Murdoc found him when he was battered and bruisedand something HAD obviously go wrong and murdoc is an obsessive little gremlin who doesn't know boundaries or a healthy relationship with a partner even if it danced naked in front of him him a brand new gun held to cassians head.

And honestly I don't know what I'm MORE obsessed with;

Situation one where Jack just goes absolutely bat shit insane and decides that fuck it. He's gone off the deep end. He's sniffed glue, he nearly ate a bullet the other day after downing a shitton of alcohol and He's spent more time screaming at god to give him his son back and so he just. Joins murdoc, even if its just to keep murdocs awful little doberman paws off mac. murdoc is routinely threatened with dismemberment, Mac is in the seventh hell that compromises of his fucked up partner who kidnapped and brainwashed him and his gone off the rails father figure who routinely hunts down Mac's REAL father in hopes of getting revenge for mac when he's not shoving a gun down murdocs throat. Mac on the other hand routinely has to resist the entirely all too tempting urge to either murder all of them. kill himself. murder the entire world and probably make it a better place. of course he does nothing because murdoc insists that his darling darling scout is ao much fun when he's high as a kite on whatever shitty concoction murdocs hell brain has thought up and so routinely screams into his hands that the universe is collapsing and that mac will collapse alongside with it, that his blood is infected with life and his tears are the cyanide needed to rid the rot of it, all of this in-between scribbling on various surfaces because he's SO close to cracking whatever it going on in his hotboxed little mind and so HELP ME if anyone distracts him-

OR

Situation two where Jack just. Knows exactly exactly he's gotta do when he sees mac being held up by murdoc whose decided to be funky and hold a gun to his drugged up BFF who can't count left to right unless you suddenly want him to start sprouting algebra that doesn't make sense and could probably summon Albert Einstein back from the dead or something. And he just straight up shoots. Shoos murdox, shoots mac who is now wailing and screeching, blood strewn across his face and kept pinned beneath murdoca literal dead weight weight he was close! Green energy was so close, he almost had it, and he's begging Jack to bring murdoc back, who'd somehow been thr one to spin the little codex hamster wheel in thr back of Mac's suddenly genocidal brain and so jakc just hauls mac up, shoots him in the head after saying sorry and then shoots himself immediately after because what's a family with a little double homicide-suicide amirite?

Wait but why is this so accurate

Help 😭

Just realized that if I can hear my next door neighbor snore when they sleep, they can *definitely* hear me talk to myself in a little gremlin voice about the impracticality of metal underwear in female fantasy armor designs.

The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!

On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.

On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.

Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

This is why I like Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Cause Arthur Dent IS just some guy who stays some guy throughout.

i have such a profound hate for stories that go 'what if just some guy like literally just some guy was thrown into these horrible circumstances with huge stakes' and then take it back and go 'haha he is not just some guy, he's the specialest little boy in the planet, last in a long line of specialest little boys, it was in his blood all along'

gif made by @ocida

new David Jenkins interview

Rick Riordan finally snapped and released emails he sent to The Lightning Thief movie makers….

I can’t stop laughing