I Like The Expression New-fangled. I Don't Know What It Means For Something To Be Fangled, But I Sure

i’m gonna cry it’s raining right now and i just passed by a family where both parents were without an umbrella but their kid who couldn’t have been older than like 3-4 was proudly holding this GIANT umbrella whose diameter was as tall (if not taller) as the kid. both the parents were getting absolutely drenched but u could tell the kid was just so happy to have an “adult” task and carry the umbrella themselves and i think that sacrifice is what love is all about

I need this in real life

Continuation of the Ziwe MCU AU where Ziwe interviews superheroes

i may have made something

This is why I like Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Cause Arthur Dent IS just some guy who stays some guy throughout.

i have such a profound hate for stories that go 'what if just some guy like literally just some guy was thrown into these horrible circumstances with huge stakes' and then take it back and go 'haha he is not just some guy, he's the specialest little boy in the planet, last in a long line of specialest little boys, it was in his blood all along'

Easy fix

note to self: do NOT double the chocolate chip cookie recipe. the mixer can’t handle it. I can’t handle it. my knees hurt. I’ve been rotating cookie sheets since I was born and I will be rotating cookie sheets until I die

The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!

On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.

On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.

Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

Wait but why is this so accurate

Help 😭

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

sometimes u go on google searching for a reference image and you just find something that is totally not what you are looking for but is better than anything u could have ever dreamed

who is she

[source]

Me in my Philosophy class: Hi, my name is Rachel, but you can call me Mack

My professor:

I will say that nothing affirms my gender more than my professor writing down Mack as my name, then referring to me with it.