my new year’s resolution is to become even more cryptic, eldritch, monstrous, blood-sucking and unholy. and maybe tidy my room.
☠ - angry/violent headcanon, ahsoka!
I hope you don’t mind but somehow it turned a bit longer than I have planned but while writing I get inspired by Polish song “Dorosłe Dzieci” (more or less Adult Children) that always gives me too much feelings, especially about all young padawans/Jedi & clones thrown into war. So, here, my headcanon about Ahsoka and stages oof her anger:
Ahsoka wasn’t prone to anger by nature. She was very bright child, who loved - and was loved - unconditionally. There was nothing to be angry about when she lived with family on her native planet. At least until bad people showed up one day and took her away from safe home.
She didn’t feel anger then, not really, because cold fear filled her up; she was so small and helpless. But the Jedi came and saved her from bad people, and her parents decided she would be much safer at Jedi Temple, so little Ahsoka agreed. She connected to Jedi in a way she never did with anyone. There was no anger at her family. Something inside her mind, some voice she never heard before but knew it means no harm to her, said it’s right thing to do.
When she grew up in Jedi Temple, she was told that anger is bad. It corrupts a good person and leads to the Dark Side. Jedi never should act on such emotion, never should feel it. The lack of passion, lack of emotions is what makes person a good Jedi. Ahsoka wanted to be a good Jedi, so she never questioned her teachers. They were after all masters, older and wiser than her.
Then came war.
At first, Ahsoka was excited. She trained her whole life to serve Republic and in her young mind she already saw all the great adventures awaiting her, all the chances to prove how good Jedi she was. She wasn’t chosen as padawan by anyone for years, and the older she grew the more she feared that Council will finally sent her away, far, far away from Temple, from people she knew, from things she understand. She wasn’t angry at the thought though, just scared to be the drop out, the failure. The members of Jedi Council were wise. Wiser than anyone else. There was no point to be angry at their decision. Being angry would only prove she wasn’t worth to be Jedi. Simple.
After all, she was chosen by no one else than Anakin Skywalker. The one rumored to be special among Jedi. Destined to do great things. Ahsoka was willing to do everything to prove she was worth the honor. Only to learn, he did never ask for padawan.
She was frustrated, yes. Not angry. Anger was bad and after all, she was where master Yoda ordered her to be. He said, she was meant to be his student, and she would not have it any other way. But the first mission wasn’t that great fun like she imagined. People were dying. She almost died too. But she survived and was accepted as padawan by Skywalker. Everything seemed to be alright.
Except it wasn’t.
The more days passed, the more tightly something clutched her inside. Ahsoka wasn’t prone to anger by nature, but which every battle, she fought more furious. It wasn’t anger, she kept thinking, while cutting droids in half, while piercing through the living body of enemies. Killing people once seemed so cruel, so devastating, so overwhelming, she couldn’t think straight for days. Now, it was nothing to dwell on. She was protecting her troopers, her comrades. Dead enemy couldn’t kill them, couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.
Continua a leggere
Gender is confusing, but:
I am a mix between Harry and Rosie from mamma mia, and I think that says a lot
an ornithologist pointed a microphone at a bird sitting alone on a wire and caught the sound of the bird singing a song at a decibel so low that it would be impossible for another bird to hear it, meaning the bird was singing quietly to itself I love life
They say the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons, and my darling
You were so beautiful
Before they dragged you into hell.
I can't believe foxes are dogs. I mean. They're foxes. They are feline-like fluffye doggos that make a weird sound. They're the third gender. Cats, dogs and foxes.
did i tell u guys i got into an argument on twitter bc i said foxes are dogs and someone tried to bring up their actual fuckin. classification or whatever and i just said “foxes are dogs cause they are fluffye” and they kept arguing with me. the entire time i was like “you will not survive the immigration to tumblr you are lucky we are not there right now”
— Anaïs Nin, The Diary Of Anais Nin: Volume Two (1934-1939)
Uluru blackh●le rise, me, pixel art, 2022
the moon looks beautiful today
[23:44]
VI: THE LOVERS
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