My favourite things about the whole OceanGate disaster, in no particular order
That the vessel was originally named Cyclops II but the CEO renamed it to Titan, so it’s even BETTER than the Titanic
He also called it indestructible
The guy piloting the vessel is an ex-naval captain who has been on several titanic manned trips. But the guy is 77 rn
The billionaire from Pakistan is apparently friends with King Charles. You’d think for someone who’s besties with a guy whose job was literally being born, he’d care more about protecting his bloodline. Instead, he brought his 19 year old with him
Meanwhile, the stepson of one of the other billionaires (I think the British one named Hamish) went to a Blink 182 concert. When questioned about this, he basically went “my family would want me to go to the concert”. Today, minutes after posting about asking for thoughts and prayers, he @‘ed an OF model on Twitter, asking her to sit on his face
Bc it’s part of the safety demo & music track list for the trip, there is a VERY good chance that if there’s still some power left in the sub, it’s playing an instrumental of My Heart Will Go On on loop
Also, the vessel is a submersible bc it doesn’t meet literally any of the safety regulations to be called a submarine. Which the CEO knew, because he’s blatantly said that safety regulations get in the way of progress
The CEO once stated that he thought the future of humanity was not in space, but in the ocean when the surface becomes uninhabitable
Apparently the controller he’s using has REAL bad reviews because the connection always fails
These idiots paid $250k EACH but they had to pack their own lunch. Not even a damn charcuterie board
The pilot’s seat is on the toilet. So whenever someone needs to go, the pilot needs to move
There’s 1 window looking out. That’s it
It’s about the size of a minivan
The sub uses texts (but only to the CEO’s phone) to communicate, as well as StarLink, but they can only access that if they surface
The door literally cannot be opened from inside
There is a decent chance that at least 1 person has been cannibalized (my bet was the pilot since he’s not rich, but bc of the banging sounds, he’s probs not dead, so it may be the CEO)
They’re supposed to run out of oxygen tomorrow (22/06/23) at 7 am est, but tbh, the CO2 scrubber system will probs fail before that
The toilet is a plastic bag
This is only the 3rd time in 3 years the vessel has gone to the Titanic. Every other time, there’s an issue and they gotta turn back within like 4 hours
A lot of major news networks are trying to remain positive, but it’s a HILARIOUS comparison when you go to social media and every single person is like “yeah that shit is built like a cardboard boat, they’re fucked”
The company’s name is literally called OceanGate
Genuinely 2022 has been an amazing year for tumblr memes
I mean we had so many good ones:
#girl ban
Horse Plinko
Blorbo from my shows
The variations upon blorbo(glup shitto, skrungly, poor little meow meow)
Eeby Deeby
It's me boy, the PS5 inside your brain
Live Slug reaction
Crabs
Eurovision Pussy
Tumblr Blaze Launch ft. Catholic evangelism and My immortal
Twitterpocalypse
Dracula Daily
Thank goodness he's straight actually
July(Shinso Abe's death, British gov collapse, Overthrow of the Sri Lankan government)
September 8th(Queen dead)
They unbanned tits- wait no they didn't
The Lettuce is Pm now
Twitterpocalyspe 2 he actually bought it this time
Tits are legal for real this time
2nd Anniversary of Nov 5th ft. Ryan Reynolds
And Now
Goncharov
In general something has definitely been in the water this year when we look back at the memes.
“Link, I heard a girl’s voice call out to me when I fell. It felt oddly familiar..” “…”
To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton
What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?
.. i’m palestinian
Ok the guy with the net fucking killed me, I’m sure my neighbors heard me laughing.
letters from the end of the world
[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled “do not stand at my grave and weep” after the poem by mary elizabeth frye. the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]
a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”
Okay so about the DB post. Do germans hate DB? Because danes hate DSB so so much (which i kind of think is unfair? at least in my experience) and we have this idea that DB is much better but this is the second time in like a month that i hear/see smth i think says the exact opposite. so can you like... talk a bit about DB? I'd like to know more 😅
Oh. OH. This might be the funniest ask I've ever gotten! 😂 Germans love to hate the DB! It is notoriously known for:
being late most of the time (especially on long distance rides)
therefore causing people to miss their connecting trains and reaching their destinations even later
just generally being bad at organisation and handling trouble on their routes
failing AC in summer
being surprised there's snow in winter
(the list goes on)
Generally, they're perceived to be a little ... incompetent at their job. When people have a journey coming up, they'll preemptively say something like: "wish me luck nothing goes wrong with my train ride". Mocking the DB is kind of a national sport and you'll find hundreds of memes about the DB's tardiness and bad handling of said tardiness. Here's a little selection from tumblr:
To be fair, German's do love to complain about everything and I guess it could be worse? Personally, I feel like other countries' train companies appear to be better managed, but that could be a case of "it's always greener on the other side"(?)