Sharktic-waters - Sharktic Waters

big day today

Did you know that there's another Chocolate Guy called Kris Zhaokai?

Time transfixed via Rene Magritte

Size: 146x97 cm Medium: oil, canvas

kensyouen_Y

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.

if there was any justice to chess, becoming the world chess champion would let you make one small en-passant level rule change to the game for the duration of your reign. like Carlsen beats Anand and he is ceremonially cloaked with the King's Crown and the Scepter of Chess and he says "uhhh, thanks guys. as my first decree as Chess Champion, pawns on the A and H files can capture forwards as well as diagonally" and the crowd goes wild. and grimly, chess masters around the world throw out their plans for "Vishy's Chess, Openings and Theory, 3rd ed." and open a new word document titled "magnus_stupid_bullshit_chess_NOTES.docx" and start theorizing.

The sky is blue.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow,

The clouds are white.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow,

The clouds are white,

The dogs are barking.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow,

The clouds are white,

The dogs are barking,

A couple is embracing.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow,

The clouds are white,

The dogs are barking,

A couple is embracing,

A couple is crying.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow,

The clouds are white,

The dogs are barking,

A couple is embracing,

A couple is crying,

A tv is talking.

A minute passes

The sky is blue,

The sun is yellow,

The clouds are white,

The dogs are barking,

A couple is embracing,

A couple is crying,

A tv is talking,

The weather is nice.

A minute passes

The sky is black,

The sun is gone,

The clouds are black,

The dogs are whining,

A couple holds each other,

A couple cries together,

The tv is quiet.

A minute passes

It’s getting cold.

- 8 Minutes

Zach, SharkticWaters

i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please

NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious