Hit Me 🃏

We'll never be the new pdf at this rate

I just had a silly Genshin thought regarding the citizens of mondstadt.

What if they as a whole were weirdly competent at escaping. Like we know that windtrace was made with the intention of recreating rebels escaping from hunting tyrants but what if a bunch of their games were also meant for practicing escaping. Imagine if the adventurers guild practicing their puzzle solving, or archery was made with the intent of cracking locks , or spotting and dodging guards. What if their poetry practice is a way to practice weaving words to run circles around captors or find loopholes in contracts. Mond is the nation of poetry and freedom, and no cage physical or otherwise can hold them.

Picture this, someone managed to kidnap a mondstadter then they get annoyed with them and close their eyes for a few seconds, then they open them and they’re captive is just gone, manacles or binds just lying on the floor of an open cell. Nobody even heard them leave and you’re certain you would have heard the door open with that way it’s been squeaking for months. (You could say they doubled down their training after the dottore incident from the comics if you wanted to be really nitpicky and stay lore accurate)

Or another one, a Liyuen businessman or a Fontainian scam artist think they’re about to trap some poor bum from Mondstadt who doesn’t know any better just to have the tables turned cause the Mindstadter had some open ended flowery words that allowed a specific loophole giving them an out and trapping the offender at the same time.

Expanding on this thought to the other nations, I can’t decide if it’d be funnier if it was just mondstadt who had this develop due to their separation from the divine, or if each country had their own specialized developed skills.

So if anybody wants to take this concept and run, feel free, I’d love to hear other ideas regarding what the other nations would be good at.

Some short ideas for the other nations if anybody wants to try expanding on it: Obviously there’s liyue being a nation of contracts, commerce, and business, as well as natlan’s people having a significantly higher degree of combat proficiency to the average NPC. Fontainians I would imagine have more legal knowledge that they can use for good or bad, but breaking/skirting laws seems like it would give the average Fontainian hives. Sumeru is interesting because they have the literal split between untouched Traditions (eremites and the Sand), and propagandized traditions (scholars and the Green), as well as a second ideological split between knowledge (average Akademiyan scholar) vs wisdom (Nahida, the average citizen with common sense, and the coup troupe). Like the old saying “knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.” For both Inazuma and Snezhnaya I’m not sure what they could be good at since their ideals are eternity and love, as well as the fact Snezhnaya is not out at the time of making this post, but if you can come up with something feel free to add on.

Idog and Idragon

Legal trouble Ra’s dcxdp AU

Because of how the dcxdp phandom treats Constantine, I feel like there’s a true untapped market for Ra’s too. To start with as far as I’m aware people don’t clown on Ra’s enough for basically being the Batman of DC’s immortal cast. Homie practically has a paid checkmark for immortality. No healing factor or actual youth abilities just skill and a pit that makes him younger. Anyway that’s to say this random self proclaimed immortal who in all of his wisdom named himself the demons head centuries ago, probably wasn’t super original. And whatever demons he likely named himself after probably aren’t too fond of the guy just like Constantine. But what’s this? A new High King of the infinite realms? With free access to the realm of the living? Well sounds like it’s time to give Ra’s the Constantine treatment; and give him a subpoena or a cease and desist.

Ra’s probably doesn’t believe it to be real, I mean don’t demons have better things to do than legal work? (“It’s probably just Tim, the detectives best child soldier.”) Probably not, because if any fic with Constantine is any indication, it seems that they are contract wielders, gossipers, and whiners. An excellent combination to spring on Mr diet immortal.

Now apparently failing to show up when served a subpoena can result in fines (and in extreme cases imprisonment) and because these guys are sneaky the fine print clearly states such fines or consequences exist, but the finer print says he doesn’t need to be informed so slowly his coffers get drained periodically. Alternatively, while he might not notice his coffers draining for a good while, he would definitely notice his pits draining. That’s one of the points where it could go a few ways.

Ra’s is not allowed to dodge the summons and Walker being Walker shows up to bring him to court, leaving everyone wondering where he went.

Ra’s dodging and thinking the prank is done with doesn’t notice for a while that either his coffers or his pits are slowly decreasing.

Situation One or Two happens and then while making his way to Ra’s, Danny realizes that while Constantine has the most overall paperwork, Ra’s has been the most consistent, making the two of them the sources of his greatest annoyance. Upon realizing that fact and discovering the pit exists he decides on some petty revenge giving him a second legal notice on the repossession of property of the infinite realms and while he’s the one who’s draining the pits, the others are draining his coffers.

Imagine Batman just going “The league of assassins has been quiet lately” with Dick saying “Yeah they’re always quiet it’s kind of their job” just for Talia to show up saying Ra’s is missing and the only clue they could find was a subpoena that they get Constantine to look at and confirm authenticity.

happy portal/team fortress 2/my little pony friendship is magic/ fallout day

There's a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell, but the midnight train goes anywhere. Trains are clearly the superior transit method.

this might be my favorite tiktok i have ever seen. absolute gold through and through

Do you ever write out a multi-paragraph rebuttal to something and then think "actually I do not want to get involved in this" and close it