I Know You've Been Hurt In This Walk Of Life. (let Me Find My Shoes, I Will Walk With You.) - A Larissa

I know you've been hurt in this walk of life. (let me find my shoes, I will walk with you.) - A Larissa Weems x Reader hurt/comfort fic.

A/N: purely self indulgent. as previously mentioned on the last episode of dragon ball z, my partner of two years broke up with me. On top of that, I've been relapsing because I'm oh so smart, but enough of the sob story, Have this fic I coughed up during my Depressive episode

This isn't proofread because, well, my proofreader dumped me 😭

TW: Self-depricating thoughts, Self-harm, implied child abuse, just the sads all around

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Your life was shit. Pure unadulterated shit. It feels like from the moment you were born the universe was out to get you, like every circumstance was a "fuck you" to the face. Nothing ever went right for you. For starters, your parents were the absolute worse. They were constantly breathing down your neck about your grades and about how you present yourself in public, gotta protect their image they would say. From a young age you had to act older than you ever should have had to. Then in highschool everything just came crashing down on you, fear of the future, dread from the past... you finding out you were an outcast was just the cherry on top; it was one thing for you to be your family burden, but now you're also a blood sucking monster! Just your luck.

Life was a sea you were drowning in constantly, you felt as if there wasn't a day where water wasn't in your lungs and your mind wasn't constantly belittling you. It was tiring, exhausting, whatever else is synonymous. You just want it to stop. You wanted to feel something other than your emptiness, your constant dread of a lack of purpose.

Maybe that's when it started.

The first time was an accident. You were working on a school project and was cutting up some cardboard for a model, unfortunately you're a clutz and you accidentally dropped your cutter. You winced and grabbed your wrist which was now bleeding. Oddly enough though... you didn't really mind. You'd blamed the vampirism then but.. then you found that the cuts on your wrist went from accidental to on purpose.It was a dumb idea now that you think about it, you realise that now, maybe not then. You wanted to feel something, anything. The stinging sensation of the blade piercing your flesh was intoxicating, it hurt, but it hurt so comfortably. You found solace in it, no matter how morally grey it seemed.

But now, several years later, standing in front of your bathroom sink and staring down at the very same flesh you've abused all theseyears you can't help but loathe the scars you made. It's entirely your fault, you think, but that doesn't make you hate it any less. You stare and stare, each scar a reminder of how miserable you were, how pathetic you were.

It was a reminder of what life was like before her.

Larissa was a breath of fresh air in your miserable life. If you walked around with a rain cloud above your head she was the one holding and offering you an umbrella. She made your life a little bit more tolerable simply by being in it. Ever since meeting Larissa, you've noticed you've made some good changes to yourself. One of them being that you were almost half a year clean from cutting yourself!

..Almost.

Your hands grip the edge of the sink tightly, fighting back tears as you stare at two fresh scars you made the night before. That familiar feeling of dread filled you again, blinding yourself from seeing reason. Relapse is normal, Larissa once said, but you refused to tell her, you didn't want to disappoint her.

Then again, nobodys more disappointed in you than you are.

You're so lost in your self-loathing that you fail to hear the front door to your apartment open, Larissa had a spare key, you felt it was only right for her to have one by your 7th monthasarry. She calls out for you from the living room, but you're too busy hating the person in the mirror to realise that.It's only too late when you realise. The door to the bathroom clicked open, your angel's voice filled with such worry over your silence. You're like a puppy around Larissa, the moment she's back in your vicinity you're like a dog missing it's owner and suddenly you're all over her. Not tonight, though. Tonight you were quiet. Tonight you were staring at yourself and your scars, hating yourself like you always do.

It's only then you look up to stare at her, she's quick to be by your side her hands rough, a testament to her hardwork, yet so soft and gentle when handling you. She grabs onto your wrist and notices the fresh scar from the night before, her beautiful oceanic eyes painted with deep worry.

She takes you to your bedroom and sits you down. She's talking, but it all feels like it's underwater to you, you felt like the world and everything around you wasn't real at the moment, with nothing but the ringing in your ears distracting you. You try to make out what she's saying but ultimately give up. She's cleaning your wound, you notice, she's taken a first aid kit and she's making sure your cut is properly disinfected. Her touch is so soft and caring, it almost makes you tear up and cry. You stare at her, her eyes fixated on her task. You take a moment to admire her, her beautiful blonde hair, the way her brows furrow and her nose scrunches when she's focused.. for a moment, you're lifted from the tide and you can see clearly; you see her. Your Larissa, Your love.

When you realise those blue eyes are staring back at you, that's when you notice you seem to have regained your grasp on reality, she's looking at you with such warmth yet such worry, you feel bad for burdening her, but you've never been a burden, not to her, no. She adores you. She wishes you could see that.

"Are you okay?" Her words finally register, you blink at her, unsure what to say. Are you okay? You don't know yourself, honestly. She can see the conflict going on in your mind and hums, as if understanding something, her hand hovers over your cheek, a silent question in her eyes. You press your cheek into her palm and nuzzle into it, your eyes closing at the warmth and familiarity of her touch. Her eyes soften at that, her thumb caressing your cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shake your head, finding yourself unable to speak. She nods in understanding and the two of you stay there for a while, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you.

Eventually, She moved you further onto the bed. Her heels were discarded somewhere across the room, her coat hanging against the headboard, you stare up at her as she situates you so that your head lay on your chest, the steady rise and fall of chest calming your nerves and anxiety that you didn't even realise was there.

Silence falls between you two again, but you don't mind at all. Her hand mindlessly draws shapes on your back with her fingers. You bury yourself in her embrace, her touch alone lifting away all your worries... well.. almost all of them. You felt the need to open up to her but you hesitate, that same old voice in the back of your head telling you not to bother her with your pathetic whines. But as you look up at her and you find her staring back at you with nothing but love and warmth.. you can't help but let the dam loose.

You lay there and open up about everything, how tired you've felt recently, how disgusting you feel especially when it comes to your scars. You want to cry, but you can't, so you just kept it all in until you couldn't anymore. As you rant, She listens to you intently, her eyes filled with nothing but understanding and care. When you end your small tangent, she brings your wrist up to her face and presses a kiss to it.

"Thank you for telling me," She whispers softly, her lips pressing against the skin of your wrist, you shiver at the contact, confused as to what she's doing. She continues to kiss your wrist.. no, your scars, you notice, and you watch in silence, your eyes curious yet filled with warmth.

She takes her time with each one, each kiss soft and meaningful. You could feel the pure love radiating off of her, it was overwhelming. It nearly made you cry, but what really did it were her next words."I know I can't do much to help you see yourself the way I see you." She mutters against your skin, her eyes reading into yours.

"But not once have I ever found you pathetic or disgusting, nor have I ever thought you were a burden." She pulls away from your wrist and caresses your cheek once again, her gaze filled with sincerity. You listen to her, clinging onto each word, the familiar feeling of warmth from her comfort already lifting the weigh on your shoulders.

"And most of all," She grabs your wrist with her free hand, her fingers gliding across the skin. "These scars... while the way they got there is.. unconventional. They're a testament to how resilient you are, how resilient you have been."

"I will never view them as disgusting, because despite everything, they still make up the person that you are, and I love you all the same. And I'll continue to do so, For as long as you'll have me."

..

Tears sting your eyes, but not in a bad way, never in a bad way with Larissa. Your heart was swelling with such gratitude and love for the woman before you. You can't help but stammer like an idiot, your tears spilling down your cheek. It was an embarrassing sight, you're sure of it, but not to her, she wipes away every tear wordlessly, no judgement or mockery in her eyes. Just pure unfiltered love, love you never recieved growing up, love you needed all this time, love you deserved, love she offered.

As you fall asleep that night with her arms wrapped around you and the steady beating of her heart lulling you to sleep, you come to the conclusion that living isn't so bad, as long as you had your Larissa.

More Posts from Shawncantwrite and Others

3 years ago
Can We CĢøĶ„Ģ”ĶŽĢ¢Ģ¦Ģ– AĢ·ĶƒĢ‘ĶĢ„Ģ”ĶĶ…ĢØĢ¦Ģ©Ģ¼ĶŽĢœĶ…Ķ… NĢ·Ķ†ĢˆĢ‡ĶĢĢÆĢ™Ķ…Ģ¤ĢØ CĢ“Ģ‹Ķ’Ģ€Ķ•Ķ“Ģ°Ģ¦ĢŖĢ­ĶŽĶœĶ–Ģ 

Can we cĢøĶ„Ģ”ĶŽĢ¢Ģ¦Ģ– aĢ·ĶƒĢ‘ĶĢ„Ģ”ĶĶ…ĢØĢ¦Ģ©Ģ¼ĶŽĢœĶ…Ķ… nĢ·Ķ†ĢˆĢ‡ĶĢĢÆĢ™Ķ…Ģ¤ĢØ cĢ“Ģ‹Ķ’Ģ€Ķ•Ķ“Ģ°Ģ¦ĢŖĢ­ĶŽĶœĶ–Ģ  eĢ·ĢˆĶ’Ķ†ĶĶŠĢØĢ™Ķ–Ģ§Ģ¼Ģ˜Ģ¦Ģ¬Ģ¦Ģŗ lĢµĶŠĢ‘ĢšĢ•Ķ›ĢœĶ‰Ķ“Ģ„Ā  shoulders?

They have no right to be this hard to draw.

3 years ago

DO u have any tips on how 2 draw anatomy???? ur anatomy is phenomenal tbh!!!!!

Well, heed my english though, english isn’t even my first language so I hope this list of tips helps you ton!! I just drew all of these now tho:

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when drawing a body, there are 3 layers each, the chest , the abdomen and the waist. Reminder that they are separated in bent shapes but are joined accordingly. It kinda gives of a posture?

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Joints are the reason that helps arms to maintain its shape equally, plus always make the parallel joints equal to the other when drawing a static body

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or in general. its the territoryĀ Ā of the arm??

Fr the hands, for me in most parts, I learned to love to draw hands after I knew about that a square is the basis of drawing hands.

(ps. credits to my brother because he’s the one who told me about it lol)

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Though i know there are people who doesn’t use squares as a basis, sometimes you a circle can be helpful.

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ALWAYS explore different body shapes, as i said, its gives off diverse character profiles, depending which is which.

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But all in all, the key to the goal is always practice!! it’s the only thing that would help you develop your skills the most when you keep doing it! so yeah i hope this tutorial helps!!

and sorry for the weird english haha;;;

3 years ago

just gonna reblog this for... personal reasons

ETA: additions to this post (and fic recs!) are in this tag!

YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST THING EVER IS? IT’S SOULMATE AUS LIKE GOD DAMN I HAVE SEEN SO MANY ON FFN/LJ/AO3/TUMBLR OVER THE YEARS LIKE:

the one where you only see color once you meet your soulmate(s) (so you don’t know them until you see them), and it goes away when they die

the one where you don’t know your soulmate(s) until you touch them

the one where you don'y know your soulmate(s) until you hear them speak, or hear them speak a certain word; your name, for example

the one where you get the name of the person in their handwriting on your body somewhere at a certain age

the one where the first thing they say to you appears instead

the one where you get each others’ fingerprints

the one where you get matching marks/symbols/tattoos

the one where your marks or words that change depending on what’s going on with your soulmate(s)

the one with the clock that counts down the time until you meet your soulmate(s) (multiple clock for multiple soulmates? one click until you meet them both? unexpected third soulmate showing up after the clocks drop?)

the one where when you sleep you dream of whatever they’re experiencing from their point of view until you find them, or AFTER you find them

the one where you can straight up talk to them in dreams until/after you find them

the one where you form a telepathic/empathetic link until/after you find them

the one where you share extreme physical sensation until/after you find them; if one of you hurts the other one hurts, if one of you is getting lucky the other one gets a little hot and bothered

the one where the closer you are to them the more aware of them you become, and you find them playing a hot/cold game; for instance, colors get brighter and brighter the closer you are and fade into gray when they’re too far away

the one where once you turn a certain age/one night a year you swap bodies with them for one night and you have a limited amount of time to leave/collect clues to their identity

the one where being next to your soulmate(s) can heal you from things people don’t normally heal from

the one where only your soulmate(s) can kill you (maybe you can still be killed by age/disease, maybe not, maybe you become vulnerable only after you lose your soulmate(s))

the one where reincarnation is also a thing and meeting your soulmate(s) either unlocks or erases memories or your past lives until the next one

the one where in universes with magic meeting your soulmate(s) activates your powers/unlocks more powerful magic

SOULMATE AUS WITH COMPLICATIONS:

blind characters who can’t see if the world’s in color or black and white

characters like x-men’s rogue who literally can’t touch people; characters who have been through trauma who don’t want to touch people

hard of hearing characters like clint barton who can’t hear their soulmate speak without hearing aids/at all or on the flipsideĀ characters who can’t speak; maybe it still works in sign language, or maybe it doesn’t

people who can’t read/can’t read the language the words on their body are in

characters like bucky barnes who’ve lost hands and/or had their fingerprints removed

soulmate clocks that time out in the middle of the crowd; there’s an entire craigslist category for finding who else was there that day with a clock that timed out too

famous characters speaking to or performing for a crowd and suddenly their world is in color/their clock times out/etc and every member of the audience pretends to be this celebrity’s soulmate and a cinderella type situation ensues with the finding

soulmates playing the hot/cold game and they kEEP MISSING EACH OTHER

insomniacs who rarely sleep, much less at the same time/different time than their soulmates

soulmate ot3s/ot4s/otmores where you dream in varying people’s povs every time you sleep and get super confused

people who get sick or injured and frantically search for their soulmatesĀ so they can survive

people who need to be in medically induced comas and their soulmates have to stay away so they don’t accidentally wake them up

the one where soulbonding is actually a choice and someone chooses to bond with someone they may not know or like to save their lives and have to figure out if they can unbond or if they have to live with the situation (and of course learn to love one another either romantically or not)

new souls who don’t get memories of past lives because they don’t have one and panic

muggles/people without powers who of course CAN’T get them upgraded or unlocked

COMBINATION AUS:

the one where you one or both of you have to do all three (see your soulmate(s), touch your soulmate(s), hear your soulmate(s)), or all three have to happen at least once between the 2+ of you

or it’s completely random how you find your soulmate(s): one of you gets a name and the other gets a fingerprint, one of you has to hear your soulmate and one of you has to see them, etc; particularly useful if you happen to be blind or deaf

same for characters with other disabilities/who have ā€œcomplicationsā€: they get or find a different way of finding their soulmates, not better or worse, just different

THEN THERE’S SOULMATE AUS THAT DON’T HAVE TO CONFORM TO LIFELONG MONOGAMY:

the ones where you have more than one romantic soulmate at the same time or you get a new soulmate after the first dies

the ones where people have multiple soulmates of different types and it’s color coded; a red name/mark/etc for love, a blue one for friendship, etc; for the ones where you start seeing color you get a new one for each soulmate

the ones where some people have romantic soulmates and some don’t, and those that don’t are still perfectly happy anyway, maybe in a relationship anyway, maybe not

the ones where some people have multiple romantic soulmates who may or may not also be soulmates with each other

aromantic or asexual people who have soulmates who are not and they manage to work it out

romantic and sexual people who don’t have soulmates but find happiness anyway, either with someone like them or someone not like them

SOULMATE AUS THAT EXPLORE THE RAMIFICATIONS OF SOULMATES BEING A THING:

the ones where soulmates are for everyone and get legal aid to help stay together, like if their in-laws try to keep them apart/someone risks getting deported/someone gets drafted/whatever

the ones where soulmates are super super rare and TECHNICALLY get exempted from shitty things like ā€œpeople of different races/the same sex/etc can’t get married/have relations/etcā€ but maybe still face a lot of prejudice and they fight to get those types of awful laws lifted for everyone

agencies that exist to help you find your soulmate(s) orĀ figure out which soulmate thing you haveĀ but some of them are just shams, bonus points for this being in a verse where the thing is exceedingly rare to begin with

people pretending to be soulmates to take advantage of the laws, for good or ill; the couple who loves just as fiercely as a soulmates who will do anything to stay together, or the shitty people who try to claim they’re mated to people who’ve rejected them so they ā€œhaveā€ to stay together

tabloid mags photoshopping matching soulmate marks or following big legal cases where someone tries to prove or disprove that they are soulmates with someone else

soulmates in universes where they’re a rarity or rare soulmate types like ot3s/ot4s/otmores in dodging government officials because they don’t want to become lab rats

people who don’t believe in soulmates until it happens to them, or people who believe hardcore and want to find theirs but they don’t necessarily have one, or don’t have a romantic one

little rituals that make finding your soulmate more likely, like shaking hands with people as often as possible even with the cashier ringing up your groceries, repeating each other’s names after you’re introduced, etc

just give me alllll the soulmate aus ok, give me people finding each other in spite of complications, give me all the delightful plot twists, give me detailed worlds where this changes the norms, give me it working out in the end whether romantically or not, bonded or not

feel free to reblog with sources! (or MORE AUS.) a little over half of these are things i’ve seen elsewhere over time and i cannot remember where they are all from

haha or if you’re into this sorta thingĀ you could just take pity on me and reblog it anyway this took an embarrassingly long time to type up oh my god ;;;;;;;;;

3 years ago

Im trying not to scream rn its like 7 in the mprning and i share a room with the 'rents

Give me a fucking lady Dimitrescu x OC fic please

I shouldn't cause you're rather aggressive @get-frickin-rekt but I am a kind soul who wants Lady Demitrescu to step on me as well. Enjoy

(Also I don't do ocs but I based it off your oc rat)

Give Me A Fucking Lady Dimitrescu X OC Fic Please

When she sees me

Lady Demitrescu x fem!reader

Warnings: cursing, age difference

"you smile like an idiot when you see her"

šŸ ------------------- šŸÆ ------------------- šŸ

The fifth Lord, that's what you were. Well- that wasn't a very accurate title nor term to what you were within the dysfunctional family Miranda had morphed and fleshed out in some vicious attempt to bring back her daughter. You were what the Cadou made you. Like all the other Lords, Moreau being the exception, you had some human traits like form and appearance along with your temperament with the other Lords. As much as you were perceived to be a Lord and you technically had your own home, you often mingled with the fair Lady Alcina; it was mostly just pleasant conversation over her well made Sanguis Virginis.

But as said, you were made- altered by the Cadou, like becoming a rather tall vampire lady and... Capturing the eyes of- no one. You add the ability to manipulate Spiders and their webs, similar to the way the three youngest Demitrescu's daughters were with the flies. It was a mutation that you often found yourself playing around with, stealing things from Heisenberg to please Alcina or simply freaking him out with the largest spider you could pinpoint in his factory. It was a secret, but Karl Heisenberg had a terrible case of Arachnophobia; it was pretty embarrassing to watch.

šŸ ------------------- šŸÆ ------------------- šŸ

"You super sized-" was mostly what you pinpointed from the the argument going on from your position beside Alcina's seat, glancing up at the Lady's expressions to make sure that Heisenberg hadn't toed the line.. Which he definitely had before. "Listen here you mutt loving maniac," Alcina shot back which almost earned a laugh from you, "we both know that Mother Miranda has a plan and we must trust it. You can't do anything anyway Karl." From her throne Miranda nodded in agreement, along with Moreau who was nodding more vigorously than even the Mother was. "Since Alcina pointed out an undeniable fact this meeting is over, I have more things to do than listen to you two argue." That was pretty much the end of the meeting, it was almost a flash of feathers and Miranda was gone from your constantly dulled vision, Alcina sighed in displeasure as she turned on her feels and wisked herself away from her fellow family members.

It was quiet, near silent, since it seemed like everyone had left while you were staring at Alcina- then the annoying rumble of Heisenberg's voice interrupted your thoughts."You smile like an idiot when you see her," He pointed out with a grin and the tilt of the cigar in his mouth, "even with these sunglasses on I can see those pearly whites (Y/n)." You knew it was true, even quiet Donna accompanied by less quiet Angie had pointed it out after one of the meetings- Moreau had stared with confusion which was enough for you to understand everyone had noticed. "Fuck- I know that Karl," you hesitated slightly, "I am an idiot around her. Ya know, I don't even like Sanguis Virginis! I just drink it to talk to her more..." For a moment he stared, then let out his wretched laugh, "I've seen you drink it you Arachni-freak. It's obvious."

šŸ ------------------- šŸÆ ------------------- šŸ

You almost could hear her voice as you stared up at Lady Demitrescu's figure, knowing you were doing the usual smile as you fawned over her and stopped listening to anything really. "My dear? Are you alright? Did you get into the Wine? I know you like it but I didn't think you liked it that much," you knew you were flaking out- dazed in confused by the presence of this woman. "No, my Lady, I'm simply basking in your warmth." You could see the surprised glances of the little Maidens as they skittered away in fear, unsure of what Alcina was going to say about the uncalled for comment from her favorite Lord. She laughed, the melodic chant of joy was a gift from the heavens themselves. "I appreciate the comment my lovely, but there's no warmth coming from me," she declared a more than likely true fact and one you wished you had known.

You laughed as well, rubbing your flushed face before stating another true fact to the fair Lady. "My Lady, I cannot confirm nor deny that fact considering I have yet to hold onto you in any fashion." Alcina quirked her head, thinking for a moment before offering out her larger than life hand for you to hold; which you didn't take any time clasping onto. It was cool, though not cold like Cassandra or Bela or Daniela. Soft as well, only the hand that a mother would have it seemed. "You aren't warm, no my Lady, but I could change that if you so wished," you proposed to her with hopeful thinking and a smile. All you got as a nod, and her own hand clasped around yours as she began to talk about something else, chirping on about getting a new Maiden and making up a new batch of your favorite wine.

You knew Lady Demitrescu was needed elsewhere when, in near unison, her daughters called out to her for they needed assistance. She let go of your hand, standing up to her usual full height in which you followed by standing as well. Surprising you more than anything that day, was when Alcina bent over to press a kiss to your upper cheek. "You know (Y/n), you could've just asked to hold my hand."

1 year ago

the sheer lack of yoko x reader fanfics offend me because I am desperately gay for spoopy vampire gf. I am soooo close to taking matters into my own damn hands. Like I'm half Japanese let me and my vampire girlfriend have miso soup damnit!


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1 year ago

I have yet to post chapter three of my fic cuz me and my proofreader Low-key broke up but uhhh anyone want some hurt/comfort larissa fics because I'm not projecting at all? 😭😭


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3 years ago
Me When My Crush: --------- I Got Friendzoned Indirectly But They Still Dont Know I Like Them. It Sucks

Me when my crush: --------- I got friendzoned indirectly but they still dont know i like them. It sucks being in the friendzone but its ok, school comes first. Im content making her happy, even if its as a friend and whatever else. I wont reveal who it is, but i was thinking of them while drawing this. Ignore this rant cuz immjust head over heels sjbxisbskbs #AntDraws #AntIsBadAtFeelings #DamnItAnt https://www.instagram.com/p/CTUZDFMhYtp/?utm_medium=tumblr


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1 year ago
archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

"Looks like we must cut this short, I have to get that." You nod in understanding. You stand and dust yourself off, smiling at her as she reaches for the phone. Your eyes briefly follow her movement, eyes locking onto her long, slender fingers. You can't help but imagine how they’d feel raking up your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake– …

Jesus Christ Claire, Focus.

------------

IM BACK!! THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN LONG OVERDUE... As you can see I've gotten over my break up blues and a now back to writing! Still have no proof reader, but I dont really care at this point. Enjoy the chapter!


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3 years ago

Sometimes i pour the milk in before the cereal first during sleepovers just to spite the host. You invited me here, and that was your first mistake


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shawncantwrite - Shawn Can't Write still
Shawn Can't Write still

He/they, Art racoon who also occasionally writes. Is down to write headcannons for Resident Evil eight, Ask box is open

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