Rhythm Of War Spoilers

I’m getting really good at stopping myself partway through a Stormlight Tumblr post to check the tags and like, perfect-parry Spoilers

hot damn, I was right about that last part lmfao

I have a gut instinct telling me this butler character is gonna be a highlight. His sass. His attitude. His barely constrained urge to strangle Wax… It’s beautiful.

You know actually I’m on Pattern’s side now. Shallan’s being an asshole and needs to talk to him.

P…. Pattern… I don’t think I can handle this. What the fuck.

Oh interesting, so is this going to be set with like… the return of the Radiants and stuff? Big open world where Stuff Is Happening? Sounds neat!

hey. you're interested in the stormlight au rp server i'm making where you get to do stuff in the sunmaker's empire that spans from azir all the way to eastern roshar because he bothered to choose an heir. i wish there was a more concise way to describe it but it sounds so fun doesn't it you get to experience worldbuilding and do roled play with ocs quick let me know if you would want an inviiiiite............. fades away like a force ghost

Stormlight Spoilers

Hmmm…. Okay so I have a weird theory stuck in my head. It’s- bad and doesn’t make sense, especially because Renarin has already demonstrated a traditional Surge, but: While reading, I keep getting the vibe that Renarin’s spren bond is wrong. I don’t fully understand why, but I keep thinking he’s perhaps bonded to a renegade void spren.

The numbers in Words of Radiance were ABSOLUTELY done by Renarin. I don’t doubt it for a second. I’m so confident about this. But… well we know the two surges of the Truthwatchers, and future prediction was NOT one of them. Beyond that, when Shallan is fighting the Unmade in Urithiru, it mentions trying to take Pattern’s place, which all but STATES non-Radiant spren can form bonds with humans… ergo, it’s feasible for Renarin to have bonded one of the Void Spren, which would facilitate the future stuff!

Anywho, that’s that! I think it’s likely I’m wrong, but could be interesting!

Ah.. so I’ve finally gotten to my single favorite theme of the Stormlight Archives: How the world is mostly just a matter of perception. A king, a princess, a light eyes, a leader… is only that because others perceive them to be so. They aren’t inherently different than others, just possessing the arbitrary lineage, presence, and background for others to deign them as such.

It’s the entire power system of Roshar. You change things self-perception to soul-cast, you change the way your soul perceives gravity to lash, and so on and so forth for each and every power. It’s ALL perception.

Kaladin is just a bridge man. A slave. And all the men he comes in contact with laude him because of his presence. How many times have people said he MUST have been a light-eyes or what have you. It’s how they perceive him, because of how he carries himself, that causes this. Shallan is in the same situation, though I don’t feel the need to explain hers, as she quite literally created a personality based on this concept. It’s fascinating, real, and freeing. You are not bound by where you’re from who what you’ve done. At any moment - if you’ve the will to try - you can become anyone.

And this is why, because I believe in myself, I know I could get Jasnah to step on me

Stormlight Archives Spoilers

Eshonai would have been an amazing Bondsmith, what the fuck. We missed out so badly with her it’s genuinely making me sad.

Elendel!!! Eeee!!!!!! I think I love this series already lmao. I can every SINGLE reference will get me super excited.

Had some people commenting that it’s not a true Conlang-!!! And you’re like so right lmao. It’s closer to a translation cipher akin to Brainfuck.

This is for one very very simple reason: usability. This was made with the primary intention of being a fun, cool thing for the community to use and interact with. Basing the language on English as opposed to making a wholly unique language lowers the barrier for usability immensely. Which is like! The goal!!

So… I may or may not have written an entire Conlang based on a single joke in Minecraft Parkour Civilization 2. That would be ridiculous. Aha. Hahahaha. Ha.

*cough*

A Quick Guide to Writing in Parkour

Flourish List.

You add these in front of blocks to change their meaning. There’s a key at the bottom containing the Parkour alphabet which demonstrates how the space, 180°, 360°, and 720° Flourishes are used to refer to specific English-Letter analogs.

_ = Space

C = 180° Flourish = 5 spaces

O = 360° Flourish = 10 spaces

8 = 720° Flourish = 20 spaces

? = Reverse = Reverses input

^ = Vertical Jump = Raises Intensity

v = Drop = Lowers Intensity

Block List.

These are the building blocks (lmfao) of the language and are what would be counted as an “input” or “letter”. Also included are short legends under each block describing what each flourish does to each block!

(Note! _,C,O, and 8 cannot be applied to any block other than [ ] and H)

[ ] = Block = Grammatical Value

(?[ ] = Capitalized)

(^[ ] = Impassioned)

(v[ ] = Depressed)

H = Fence = Numerical Value

(?H = Negative)

(^H = Exponential)

(vH = Square Root)

u = Pot = Period

(?u = Comma)

(^u = Hyphen/Equality)

(vu = Parentheses)

I = Pane = Question

(?I = Exclamation)

(^I = Command)

(vI = Sarcasm)

% = Brewing Stand = Addition

(?% = Subtraction)

(^% = Multiplication)

(v% = Division)

Alphabet

a = [ ]

b = _[ ]

c = __[ ]

ch = ___[ ]

d = ____[ ]

e = C[ ]

f = _C[ ]

g = __C[ ]

h = ___C[ ]

i = ____C[ ]

j = O[ ]

l = _O[ ]

m = __O[ ]

n = ___O[ ]

o = ____O[ ]

p = OC[ ]

r = _OC[ ]

s = __OC[ ]

sh = ___OC[ ]

t = ____OC[ ]

th = 8[ ]

u = _8[ ]

v = __8[ ]

w = __8[ ]

x = ___8[ ]

y = ____8[ ]

Numbers

0 = H

1 = _H

2 = __H

3 = ___H

4 = ____H

5 = CH

6 = _CH

7 = __CH

8 = ___CH

9 = ____CH

Now that you have all the tools, let’s put it all together~!

————————————

?8[ ]____C[ ]__OC[ ] ____C[ ]__OC[ ] OC[ ][ ]_OC[ ]__[ ]____O[ ]_8[ ]_OC[ ]?%

____C## + _## ^u _###

?C[ ][ ]____OC[ ] 8[ ]C[ ] _OC[ ]___C[ ]___[ ]^I

————————————

Big thanks to my friend PrismaticKoi for giving me the idea and helping me figure this all out! Working with her made this process super fun!!!

Enjoy Parkour-!!! I’ll be coding an English<—>Parkour translator at some point, so stick around to find that!!

All of you need to go watch Minecraft Parkour Civilization though. It’s seriously fantastic.

Being shot gives you an exhibitionism kink I guess. Can’t say it’s wrong as I’ve never shrugged off being shot in the face. With an arrow. Through the brain. In the face.

SHALLAN WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WITH YOU THAT’S NOT HOW YOU RESPOND TI BEING SHOT IN THE FACE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THR FUCK