Should-be-studying-not-shipping - 👀

I don’t tend to see Christians talk about this much, or in a very nuanced way, and I think it’s worth talking about. and that is that suppression and surrender are two different things.

suppression is the refusal to acknowledge feelings you’d rather not feel. it’s stuffing them down out of shame or guilt, or the belief that you’re not “supposed” to feel them, in favour of pretending that you don’t experience them at all. suppressing anger, for example, leads to long-term bitterness, grudges, and burn-out from pretending you’re a happy peppy optimistic Christian all the dang time. it is deeply unhealthy.

surrender is the active, honest acknowledgment of your feelings, desires, and temptations, without attaching undue shame to them, and then bringing them to the feet of Jesus and choosing to live by His Word anyway. it is not a dismissal of feelings but the very act of bringing them to light so He may show you what to do about them. 

surrendering to God’s way does not mean shoving feelings of anger or bitterness or anxiety into a dark crevice, or acting like you can brush off years of pain in a moment.

surrender is telling God you are hurt, letting yourself feel the pain of being wronged so that your pain may be healed by Christ’s tenderness and love. 

surrender is telling Him you are anxious, you are desperately frightened, and letting Him be present in your trembling, letting Him be peace and steadiness and unconditional love while you breathe and count and grounding-technique through the wave of panic.

surrender is allowing yourself to say you did not deserve the abuse, you will not stand for abuse, you will not return to your abusers, and working day by day to forgive your abusers and pray for them anyway. 

surrender is telling Jesus you are sorely tempted- to cheat on the exam, to cheat on your partner, to objectify your cute coworker, to talk shit about your boss- and allowing Him to lead you away from acting on it and into doing the right thing anyway.

surrender is the exact opposite of suppression.

I so often see this message online, explicitly and implicitly, that whatever you’re feeling is valid– and it is!– but then it just… stops there. if you’re angry, good, stay angry. you shouldn’t have to forgive anyone. you shouldn’t have to treat people with dignity if you don’t like them. nobody has the right to tell you to act in a way that doesn’t completely indulge your feelings. treat yourself. you do you.

I disagree. indulgence may seem like the right fix because it’s surely the polar opposite of suppression. but being a slave to your thoughts and emotions is no better than being a slave to shame. it is good to express anger. it is also good to place limits on your anger so you express it in healthy ways. it is okay to have a mental illness. it is also important to not let that illness define your very being, to remember you are more, to fight for recovery. it is completely normal to be tempted in a thousand ways. it is important to resist temptation and seek to do the right thing, and run to the grace and overwhelming love of God when you don’t.

true freedom in Christ comes when you are open with Him about all you are, and willing to let Him lead you through the maze. true freedom makes room for limits and boundaries, ones that will help you grow and flourish.

Brainiac 5 by Francis Portela

Peak cinema!

I don’t (do) mean to alarm y’all but apparently I had unfettered access to Twitter back when I was 11.

PSA: If you played BotW, Tears of the Kingdom will connect to your save data so you can keep the same horses in both games. Nothing else in my life matters right now. This is the best feature they ever could’ve added. 100/10

I am begging for the new Daredevil series to be better lit. It's not supposed to be an audio drama, let me see the actors and set!

Sunset and Super Moon at Arcadia Lake. Jef Bourgeau

Being LDS on this website that’s obsessed with finding fault in different groups of people means you’re subjected — semi-frequently, at complete random, and by random blogs so you can’t follow a pattern back to one person to unfollow — to posts that are like

“Mormonism is a cult because-" *insert a) something the church doesn’t teach, b) a claim about how the church is controlling and forces its members to do things they don’t make you do, like cut off contact with nonmembers or something similarly crazy, or c) completely innocuous thing that’s completely normal for any religion to ask of its adherents*

“Mormons are crazy because-" *insert a) something that has literally never been taught as doctrine ever that was either made up about us or spread by weird members in the past who didn’t know what they were talking about and people held onto that instead of listening to corrections regarding it, or b) something taken wildly out of context or worded in a way to purposefully make it sound nuts and which makes way more sense if you’d actually bother to listen to someone try to explain it*

“Exmo here, yeah the church is horrible because-" *insert a) personal experience with individuals doing xyz that is certainly unfortunate but has nothing to do with the church as a whole or its doctrine, or b) wild claims that you KNOW this person is lying about because you literally grew up in the same faith as they did and were taught the same things and you know they’re spouting some serious garbage about what we supposedly believe but of course everyone is going to trust the person who talks like a cult survivor so there’s nothing you can do about it*

And you sit there having to either ignore it (DIFFICULT) or find the courage to message the person who reblogged it to gently explain why the post is wrong (does not go well half the time).

No, the church does not fit the BITE model for a cult (literally the only few parts of the list you could say it matches are the few that are true of literally any religion and do not scream ‘cult’). No, you do not need a lawyer to get your records removed, anyone offering those services is scamming you for money because you can literally just ask your local leaders to have it done. No, we do not genuinely believe that insane Bigfoot Cain folk story or anything else like it. And frankly, sometimes people who leave just lie. That happens. It does not make me brainwashed to say that someone who left the church and is spreading obvious crap about things we don’t really teach or believe is indeed lying and it’s frustrating to no end that the automatic reaction from so many people is that you must be the crazy one, meanwhile you’re sitting there being gaslit about your own beliefs as they go ‘Mormons teach/believe xyz’ ‘no we don’t’ ‘yes you do’ ‘we literally don’t though’ ‘shut up you’re just brainwashed’ ‘????’. Have you ever seen a divorced person spread bad rumors about their ex that are not true? Yeah.

(And before anyone goes, ‘Hey, she’s trying to invalidate the stories of people who left, that’s clearly a cultist!’, I’m referring strictly to people who make false claims about what we teach that can be easily verified as false. There are bitter people out there who do that. I’m all for listening to people who have had bad experiences with other members in the church, absolutely nothing but sympathy and love towards those who have genuinely been hurt in one way or another, and yes there are cultural things especially in Utah that have needed or still do need shifting. But as always, the same is true of literally any religion or just any group of human beings in general because a lot of the time human beings kind of suck. The church isn’t special for this. It’s just as filled with flawed people who need to repent as any other group of people on the planet and that’s no secret. There’s a reason we’re always encouraged by our leaders to continue to become better and to try to be more Christlike than we often are, and the vast majority of members are absolutely trying to live by that and it’s not fair to judge those millions of people by the ones who don’t behave as they should. You can believe the stories of people who have had bad experiences without making out 16 million other people to be horrible. Everything would be a cult if the qualification for that was to have some bad apples in your midst.)

It doesn’t take much to look at different sources to see if there’s another side to a story or another explanation for something that sounds weird. You don’t even have to look through church websites for it, you can literally just ask members if you know any. In fact PLEASE just ask us because I lose my mind a little more every time I see someone just looking at sources that are total confirmation biases against us. Ask faithful, practicing members if they’re really forced to do xyz or ask them to explain something weird you heard. We’re not exactly secretive or shy about explaining our beliefs (hence the missionaries lol), we’ll do it. Heck, I’ve got anxiety through the roof about answering questions because I’m scared I’ll word something poorly but even I will still do it, I’d rather face my fears and respond imperfectly than let someone go around thinking something that’s not true. As long as you’re asking genuinely out of curiosity to hear our perspective and not trying to just poke at our faith and be a jerk, you’ll get people who are willing to answer you and have a reasonable discussion without trying to convert you or something.

Aaaanyway. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve now seen two different posts from two different people today being negative about my faith, so. I’m tired. If you’re so inclined please pray for my ability to feel close to Christ, have love for people I disagree with, and be patient with nonsense lol. Goodness knows I need help with that sometimes. Especially right now since I apparently had enough frustration in me to write this whole thing lol.