shrrrrimp

Latest Posts by shrrrrimp

tsujimura panel colouring!!

🎉

Gorgus dangerous woman ♡

|COMMISSIONS OPEN!!|

girls that fucking haaaaaaaaaaate each other (they really don't)

Happy birthday Chuuya (and me!!!!)

quick sixteen chuuya sketch for my sweet 16!!!!

uhh, dazai loses his ability for a day so he can pet the big cat <3

This is to see if Anjo Nala would go with riso style

Taking a peek?

I braided his hair (He's real and with me rn)

they match each other's freak no comment

Higuchi’s Unrevealed Ability

my theory on what it could be…

i think that Higuchi’s ability will be called “Takekurabe” (Growing Up/Child’s Play) after her most famous work, and i believe it might have something to do with reincarnation. here’s why…

in this official art she is featured with red spider lilies, which are symbolic of death, but are also thought of as a bridge between heaven & earth…a reminder of the “cyclical nature of life & death”

Takekurabe also explores themes such as how life is fleeting. & also abt being forced into a role that you didn’t want, or wouldn’t have chosen for yourself

(plus potential foreshadowing: in this official art, Higuchi is surrounded by pinwheels— which symbolize childhood, but also the cycle of life, & the buddhist teaching of reincarnation)

back to reincarnation…

after being told that Akutagawa may never wake up, she reached out to him & a glow appeared around her hand— like she was activating an ability— before pulling away bc she remembered that he didn’t want her (or anyone’s) help

but this means that she’s able to give help in this sort of situation

additionally, the fact that she almost always appears in official arts w Akutagawa indicates that she will probably use her ability on him at some point, which makes sense considering his terminal condition

(note the pulse in the background, his bright eyes, & her white suit)

because we have yet to see her use her ability, i’m assuming that she can only use it once, so she’d be giving up her life for Akutagawa’s (a life for a life— his reincarnation)

this would imitate irl Higuchi’s unfortunately short life— with her having died at only 25 years old. it also makes sense to give her such a powerful ability since irl Higuchi is such an important figure in japanese history— japan’s first professional woman writer of modern literature

now for a less likely, but fun theory…

i wonder if Higuchi’s sister has anything to do with her ability (in bsd she’s unnamed, but her irl sister’s name was Kuniko so that’s what we’ll call her)

according to Higuchi’s bungo episode, despite her literary genius, irl Higuchi was practically useless without her sister

Kuniko was the one who made what Higuchi did possible & kept things functional behind the scenes

so i think it’d be super interesting (& a cool irl reference) if Kuniko was involved in some way with Higuchi’s ability (i also just want to see more of her bc this sister duo is so cute :’))

bonus: when i watched this anime adaptation of Takekurabe, this was the ending scene & i wonder if it was harukawa’s inspiration for this official art 🥹

white lilies represent purity, & since they were off by the side of the road, they might have represented the character’s fleeting purity. white lilies are also used at funerals to represent a soul’s return to purity & its journey to the afterlife… which circles back to the reincarnation theme 👀

flowers coming into blume

or in other words

did i show you guys my wife bkornblume 😍😍😍

Sometimes self care is putting your silly little clown in silly little outfits

there’s something very wrong with me, it’s called ‘I don’t want to do anything, ever’ and they said it’s chronic

got lazy

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

+reference/inspo - by ppourin

An old piece I was very proud of (and still am)

Quick Tsujimura doodle

Yeah… been real busy lately. Work, trying to finish a commission… I’ll get into a grind (I say probably lying)

Have a messy doodle of my mom 🩵

Richard Siken, 'Planet of Love'

Since when does Akutagawa have a pet tiger?

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Because he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.

felt like I was about to have a panic attack and cried but I have to thank this post and the Wahoo fish for making me laugh for a solid minute lmfao

sskk reunion hug but now atsushi knows that by embracing akutagawa he's also embracing HIM

2 apples tall

For those of you who may not be too familiar with the manga, during ch39: Portrait of a Father, Akutagawa shows up, as Dazai's informant, to give Atsushi documents about who the orphanage headmaster was and what happened to him.

At that moment, Akutagawa shows an uncharacteristic clemency towards Atsushi, saying that "Atsushi's master died today", and compares this to his own relationship with Dazai.

This was a long time ago now, and a lot has happened since. The Cannibalism arc is right after this, where they are very antagonistic towards each other, and includes this scene:

Akutagawa, despite his bitterness towards Atsushi for who he is to Dazai, has seen how similar they are in this sense. Atsushi hasn't, because his gratefulness towards Dazai prevents him from seeing that Akutagawa's experience was completely different with this same person. (he's also not given any time by the narrative to wonder about it)

but then just came along chapter 122!!!

Atsushi gets to see, 1:1, the relationship between Akutagawa and Dazai. For the first time, Akutagawa is relatable to him.

And of course, at the end, Atsushi calls out the illusion as being the headmaster wearing Dazai's face because we are closing this loop! We are forcing Atsushi to see Akutagawa the same way Akutagawa has been seeing him!

Are you sick of me?

Would you like to be?..

the danse macabre

happy birthday, Nikolai ♥️