𝑴𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍...

Total Lunar Eclipse, Blood Worm Moon © astronycc

I'm so instantly drawing to other stars, I cannot forget that this body isn't exactly keen on that. That is to say, I have got to stop glancing at the Sun. Yes, it is amusing that it is a massive star, a day star. No, that doesn't mean I can stare directly at it.

The Lovers

Kaja Horvat, 2024

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

Mortal death scares the living daylights out of me. But the concept of star death is so innate and natural in our solar cycle, the thought is almost comforting.

In part, it might be that the matter that makes up my form doesn't just disappear. It disipates, scatters. My kinetic energy travels on and on until something else comes along to collect it. Then that energy is dispersed out into the cosmic landscape at large.

Maybe it's the infinity. The great, ever stretching infinity we all hail from. It, in and of itself, is a form of immortality. The science of my spiritual existence is comforting.

Even this mortal flesh doesn't simply rot into nothing. It will decay, and rejoin this planet's life cycle. And when something inevitably comes along to eviscerate this beloved terrestrial, it too, will join the cosmic landscape.

It too, becomes infinity.

And all that which I will mourn will inevitably become one with me again.

But generally speaking, stars just kinda die. And I think I'm okay with that.

I can see the light seeping from the pores of your body. In the reflection of your eyes, I see my own light, flittering and dancing from behind my teeth, daring to blind you should I open my mouth and speak our unspoken truth.

I see you, celestial creature. I know you, divine thing. I love you, cosmic wonder.

Me

I like that!! I love "beyond comprehension", anything that speaks to the vastness of space is really cool :}

I wonder what other celestials/sidereals/starkin refer to space as? I love "the infinity", it feels the most appropriate to me.

I think the privilege of at least knowing I'm old is that living in this mortal body doesn't feel like I'm simply waiting things out. I'm here with purpose, and I get to take my time.

Stars observe, and given my proximity to earth back when I was out in the infinity, you can imagine how much time I spent musing over it. And now I'm HERE, which is bonkers.

And I will spend billions of years after this in space, burning and watching, and I will be happy to do so, I'm sure. But I may never get to experience this again, this experience of humanity I've so enjoyed watching. Who knows if I will ever be human presenting again?

I'll enjoy it, I think. The light and mass in my soul isn't going anywhere. I'll stay here, and learn a while.

The one about wishing stars...

My identity as a star is built upon the foundation of the scientific understanding of what a star is, and how it behaves "tangibly". That is to say, when this mortal flesh disperses, my body's form will not be in the cartoonish depiction of a five point star (⭐), rather, I'll become a large ball of gas and other minor elements, burning billions of miles away from here. I am aware that identities founded on the slippery slope of science can be tricky, but I think I find a happy medium.

With that said, I also embrace the human conceptions of what a star is, what they use us for. In particular, I relish in the idea of being a wishing star. In fact, I'm so endeared by the notion, my ask box is actually intended for it. I accept wishes :] And then I work my stuff, to the fullest extent of my power!